What would it take?

...to heal your heart?

Let's, for a moment, pretend that you met someone that was willing to heal your heart. Put aside, for a second, the notion that you can heal it yourself. What would it take? Do you know?

Posted by xdimplez
trust, fidelity, constant reassurance, consistency, persistence,patience, understanding, and just genuine care

^^ + love

I dont believe anybody can heal your heart but yourself

Posted by xdimplez
trust, fidelity, constant reassurance, consistency, persistence,patience, understanding, and just genuine care

Gotta admit Dimps...my Leo Moon agrees.

Im suffering from "too lazy to read OP's lately" syndrome 😢

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Im suffering from "too lazy to read OP's lately" syndrome 😢

It's cool Boom

Honesty, integrity, humbleness, compassion, understanding, acceptance and most importantly...laughter. Allowing you to be "you" and enjoying who you actually are.

i sont think someone would be strong enough to heal mine, for i think the reason of my existence in this world is to heal some of the broken hearts by giving them a piece of mine... now i have i guess 1/4 of what i had from the first time i fell in love...this question made me realize i may have a damaged heart but at least the pieces that was taken from me made a person feel that sometime, somewhere, someone loved them very much without fear and full of love.

It should not take another individual to heal it, that is escapism. In my opinion, it would take a lot of self-relfection, introspection, self-awareness and a strength of will, to actually re-write our pain, our fears, our insecurities, our bitterness, etc. and surpass this, forcing ourselves to accept who and what we have become, acceptance and acknowledgement, that we are no longer the person whom was, before the heartbreak, but, we have grown to be a better individual, a more wholesome one, even though scarred. It would take great understanding of self, to know we can, allow our vulnerabilities to surface, that we may jump despite fears, that no matter what happens, even if we go through hell or rise to the highest summit, one will always make it out alive. To reach that personal place of finding our core again, with no other external influence, no dependency on another, but solo our own journey, that would heal it to the extent one would be able to succumb to the power force that is love, be it in its pain or in its healing capability because frankly, love is not perfect but it can be empowering.

Truth be told, I would not want another to heal me, that is surface work that will eventually crack and fade, a dependency that would poison, I would prefer to heal myself before truly delving into love, our soul is our own, we must take care of it first before others can, and share.

Love, time and patience

@TheLadyScorpio: beautiful and wise words. But the the truth is what you describe is escapism itself...from the other side of the coin. It is simply self reliance when true love requires surrender.

That is the greatest test. To allow yourself to be healed when you're hurt. It is the doorway to the next level and always open but few recognize the opportunity when it has been presented.

Posted by libra08
i sont think someone would be strong enough to heal mine, for i think the reason of my existence in this world is to heal some of the broken hearts by giving them a piece of mine... now i have i guess 1/4 of what i had from the first time i fell in love...this question made me realize i may have a damaged heart but at least the pieces that was taken from me made a person feel that sometime, somewhere, someone loved them very much without fear and full of love.

But how can you know someone's strength without knowing their heart? Allow one to give you theirs to replenish yours and you will be whole much faster.

Posted by LovesickCancer

Posted by libra08
i sont think someone would be strong enough to heal mine, for i think the reason of my existence in this world is to heal some of the broken hearts by giving them a piece of mine... now i have i guess 1/4 of what i had from the first time i fell in love...this question made me realize i may have a damaged heart but at least the pieces that was taken from me made a person feel that sometime, somewhere, someone loved them very much without fear and full of love.

Aww, I wanna heal your heart.

Someone will come along and make you feel whole again,

Maybe they would never have had their heart broken and give you half.

click to expand

thanks hun 🙂

i wish... i have thorns im little piece right now so yeah..🙂 i do wish ild fall in love again.

I agree that you have to heal yourself BUT the only way to fully heal is to be able to overcome whatever broke you in the first place. And to do that, first you deal with it and then you face it. So there is a certain amount of healing that has to be done with the help of another. Just to show you they won't do what's been done in the past.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
...to heal your heart?

Let's, for a moment, pretend that you met someone that was willing to heal your heart. Put aside, for a second, the notion that you can heal it yourself. What would it take? Do you know?

Having someone simply love, care, respect, etc. me doesn't really do much. I genuinely have to be involved in helping someone else heal to even begin to feel slightly healed, myself.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
@TheLadyScorpio: beautiful and wise words. But the the truth is what you describe is escapism itself...from the other side of the coin. It is simply self reliance when true love requires surrender.

That is the greatest test. To allow yourself to be healed when you're hurt. It is the doorway to the next level and always open but few recognize the opportunity when it has been presented.

Oh no, but you mistook my writing completely then, it was the furthest from escapism and not from the other side at all.

One was talking about self-reliance upon the healing process itself, nobody, no external source can heal ones own pain, nobody can help you there, we must travel that journey alone, we alone need to figure out how to soothe our own wounds, that is where we focus on the self.

Now once healed...

Then that very same heart is meant, not to surrender to another but to open itself to all possibilities and vulnerabilities, surrender signify giving up, we are not giving up, we are not giving to, we are sharing, passing through each other to still come out whole, though perhaps a changed self.

That is the problem with most individuals, they have a broken heart and then they go constantly in search of someone to heal them, thinking true love will bring that, an influence yes, but to actually heal oneself entirely, never possible. We are responsible with our now hearts, it is ours alone, we must do what it takes to heal it, it would be entirely naive to go off in search, thinking, expecting, assuming another could magically cure away our pain, our bitterness, or what ever emotions one passes through. We must walk our own hell, to come out whole entirely, a entire soul, then, and only then, do we have the mental/emotional sane ability to pursue our fears, insecurities etc. and master them, not eliminating them, for that is idealistic and over ambitious but to know how to live with them, how to compromise with them, how to control and surpass them, how to master them so that we are no longer their own slave. We control our ability to still jump despite the circumstances, fear does not disappear, it is merely silenced.

Why do I say so? Because one would not wish to take upon an idealistic point of view, because frankly, we humans beings are very complex creatures, our infinite layer of selfs are very different, contrasting and even contradictory.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio
It should not take another individual to heal it, that is escapism. In my opinion, it would take a lot of self-relfection, introspection, self-awareness and a strength of will, to actually re-write our pain, our fears, our insecurities, our bitterness, etc. and surpass this, forcing ourselves to accept who and what we have become, acceptance and acknowledgement, that we are no longer the person whom was, before the heartbreak, but, we have grown to be a better individual, a more wholesome one, even though scarred. It would take great understanding of self, to know we can, allow our vulnerabilities to surface, that we may jump despite fears, that no matter what happens, even if we go through hell or rise to the highest summit, one will always make it out alive. To reach that personal place of finding our core again, with no other external influence, no dependency on another, but solo our own journey, that would heal it to the extent one would be able to succumb to the power force that is love, be it in its pain or in its healing capability because frankly, love is not perfect but it can be empowering.

Truth be told, I would not want another to heal me, that is surface work that will eventually crack and fade, a dependency that would poison, I would prefer to heal myself before truly delving into love, our soul is our own, we must take care of it first before others can, and share.

Oh my God...... this makes me think of one of my favorite songs ever thus far..... or maybe two of them. I won't speak of the second, however, the first song I thought of when reading the second sentence is called PROTOPLASM, and it's by a Japanese band called Rentrer en Soi, which coincidentally, is French for self reflection. For me, PROTOPLASM is a song that made me cry when I found out what the vocalist is saying because he sings so beautifully and I can relate. It was almost like I was hearing someone singing to me about my circumstances a long time ago and what I did to overcome it.

@TheLadyScorpio: is it not human nature to search for healing when one has been hurt or is in pain? If I had a toothache, should I stick it out, take some medicine, or go see a dentist? Of course I'm being facetious and its not that simple but the principle fundamentally applies to the overlying point.

I agree in large part with all you say. But its one way of dealing with pain and not THE way. Surrender or opening up? That's an argument in semantics because what realistically happens is the same...it takes courage to bond to someone.

How you choose to heal is up to you. You can heal on your own or with someone who has healed or is in the process of healing.

Patience and consistency and a touch of amnesia. I remember every scar.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
@TheLadyScorpio: is it not human nature to search for healing when one has been hurt or is in pain? If I had a toothache, should I stick it out, take some medicine, or go see a dentist? Of course I'm being facetious and its not that simple but the principle fundamentally applies to the overlying point.

I agree in large part with all you say. But its one way of dealing with pain and not THE way. Surrender or opening up? That's an argument in semantics because what realistically happens is the same...it takes courage to bond to someone.

How you choose to heal is up to you. You can heal on your own or with someone who has healed or is in the process of healing.

Human nature to search for understanding/relating not necessarily healing, there is a difference, human nature does not mean it is right or what our souls need, for we have a will as well. Your example could hardly be relevant, two different realms, emotional/mental pain that is.

Not THE way, but you never asked for THE way, thereby they were my general musings (which may or may not agree with yours but it does not stop me from clarifying your prior misinterpretation of what I wrote.)

Otherwise, it was simply my sharing 🙂

@TheLadyScorpio:

I could also contend that using one's will to self heal in the presence of pain may be exactly the wrong thing to do. Will, of course, is simply a force to be used based on choice. You can will yourself to self heal or you can will yourself to seek help. I also say that my example is relevant. While one can inquire in the absence of pain to relate or understand, the topic is about allowing someone to help you heal when you can't heal yourself. Therefore, my example applies. _??_

Posted by ellessque
when you are in a partnership you agree to take care of each other to avoid unnecessary pain and suffering....and those that can't be avoided (because that's just life), you lean on each other.

nobody is responsible for your pain and healing and it should not be idealized as a reason to seek a partner so they can "heal" you.

Lol...Elle...I agree to a certain extent. Heck there could be all sorts of reasons for getting a toothache and people get them even while properly taking care of their teeth but yet they still won't go to the dentist because they're afraid of what might happen or the pain. But that's my pont. By going to the dentist(one you may not know btw) you may get get rid of the pain a lot quicker. Ironically if you don't, the pain may go away only to resurface, only worse, later. _??_

Its not about idealizing needing someone to heal all the time. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is actually allowing yourself to recieve healing from the beginning
from someone else. Of course you should be able to lean on them(whether you actually can or not) once the relationship is established. But another path is actually trusting fom the get go. Whatever you choose is cool with me. Hey Venus in Sag *shrugs*

Posted by ellessque
maybe it's my venus in libra. *shrugs*

Being able to trust is something that comes from the healing process. It's a fruit from the blossom.

If you aren't healthy (emotionally) there is no way you can trust someone else from the get go.

I suppose it's just like the chicken or the egg theory.

I think being able to love is also something that comes from the healing process. It's not something that can come before.

Valid points. I guess what I've seen outside of our theories on this topic convinces me otherwise. It reminds me though of something you once told me...

Posted by starlover
I aint never gonna happen (another person healing you)

When i found myself at my lowest, that is when i became very strong


🙂

Oh yes! Agree...
Why do I always love your post...
I love Elle's point of view and Theladyscorp as well...
🙂

Posted by beautifulsoul74
@TheLadyScorpio:

I could also contend that using one's will to self heal in the presence of pain may be exactly the wrong thing to do. Will, of course, is simply a force to be used based on choice. You can will yourself to self heal or you can will yourself to seek help. I also say that my example is relevant. While one can inquire in the absence of pain to relate or understand, the topic is about allowing someone to help you heal when you can't heal yourself. Therefore, my example applies. _??_

*shrugs*

You were the one the ask for the opinion of others in the first place, you do not have to agree but nonetheless do not discredit it, otherwise do not ask 🙂

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by beautifulsoul74
@TheLadyScorpio:

I could also contend that using one's will to self heal in the presence of pain may be exactly the wrong thing to do. Will, of course, is simply a force to be used based on choice. You can will yourself to self heal or you can will yourself to seek help. I also say that my example is relevant. While one can inquire in the absence of pain to relate or understand, the topic is about allowing someone to help you heal when you can't heal yourself. Therefore, my example applies. _??_

*shrugs*

You were the one the ask for the opinion of others in the first place, you do not have to agree but nonetheless do not discredit it, otherwise do not ask 🙂

click to expand

If that's how you choose to see it. Yes, I asked the question. But the question I asked was in the absence of the ability to self heal, what would it take. I did not ask a general question as in "how do you go about healing." Secondly, you discredit the notion of relying on someone to help you heal then then say I'm trying to discredit your opinion when in fact I said a couple of times that I agree with your premise the process of healing in the first opinion you posted. I'm not trying to discredit anything. As I said earlier; that's how you choose to see it. I have no control over that nor do I want it. You have control over how you choose to respond as well. _??_

I def think it's something that must come from within yourself.

Good, hot, passionate, unbridled sex helps though 🙂

IM NOT SURE THAT IT COULD HAPPEN

Okay, I'm late to the party, so perhaps someone covered this but here goes...

Posted by TheLadyScorpio
It should not take another individual to heal it, that is escapism. In my opinion, it would take a lot of self-reflection, introspection, self-awareness and a strength of will, to actually re-write our pain, our fears, our insecurities, our bitterness, etc. and surpass this, forcing ourselves to accept who and what we have become, acceptance and acknowledgement, that we are no longer the person whom was, before the heartbreak, but, we have grown to be a better individual, a more wholesome one, even though scarred. It would take great understanding of self, to know we can, allow our vulnerabilities to surface, that we may jump despite fears, that no matter what happens, even if we go through hell or rise to the highest summit, one will always make it out alive. To reach that personal place of finding our core again, with no other external influence, no dependency on another, but solo our own journey, that would heal it to the extent one would be able to succumb to the power force that is love, be it in its pain or in its healing capability because frankly, love is not perfect but it can be empowering.

Truth be told, I would not want another to heal me, that is surface work that will eventually crack and fade, a dependency that would poison, I would prefer to heal myself before truly delving into love, our soul is our own, we must take care of it first before others can, and share.

(see below)

^^^^ I agree with much of what you are saying here, however I don't think self-reflection is the only thing that is required for healing or even the level of acceptance you speak of; it happens in response to our relationship with others. Very few people (at least none that I know of) have the ability to simply self-reflect without being "forced" to do so (e.g. new experience, new love,disagreement with a loves one, etc). We are lazy creatures of habit that love what is familiar, and we don't change if we don't have to. It is through these "external influences" that you speak of that encourages this change. We must do the work, yes, but these external forces are just as important in the process of healing.

To use an experience or "external force" to search yourself and reflect of who you are and who you would like to be is not escapism. I think the experience actually comes before the self-reflection and one doesn't happen without the other.

What an excellent question! I know you are the only person that can ALLOW yourself to heal, but i think that it takes more than you to actually heal it.I honestly don't know and probably won't know unless it happens. However, I think time, patience, respect, and compassion.

Didn't read all of the responses, so you may have answered this already, but what do you think BeautifulSoul? What could someone do to heal your heart?

Posted by PhoenixRising
^^^^ I agree with much of what you are saying here, however I don't think self-reflection is the only thing that is required for healing or even the level of acceptance you speak of; it happens in response to our relationship with others. Very few people (at least none that I know of) have the ability to simply self-reflect without being "forced" to do so (e.g. new experience, new love,disagreement with a loves one, etc). We are lazy creatures of habit that love what is familiar, and we don't change if we don't have to. It is through these "external influences" that you speak of that encourages this change. We must do the work, yes, but these external forces are just as important in the process of healing.

To use an experience or "external force" to search yourself and reflect of who you are and who you would like to be is not escapism. I think the experience actually comes before the self-reflection and one doesn't happen without the other.

Very well said and you've hit the mark _??_

Posted by christinelovessnickers
What an excellent question! I know you are the only person that can ALLOW yourself to heal, but i think that it takes more than you to actually heal it.I honestly don't know and probably won't know unless it happens. However, I think time, patience, respect, and compassion.

Didn't read all of the responses, so you may have answered this already, but what do you think BeautifulSoul? What could someone do to heal your heart?

I never did say but I'll spit it out lol_—

It begins with me. Realizing that I have been hurt and that there are scars on my heart. With that being said, I would open myself to receive the healing and yes I'd admit that I do need it. I won't put up a fight because life is too short. Fighting only prolongs the process. As for the other person...courage. Just as I've been courageous in opening, they would have to be courageous in helping to heal. Consideration for my feelings. Despite what I'm going through, I always put the other person's feelings first. Trust, communication, honesty, and...sacrifice. I give those things willingly and freely.