When you're IN that moment...

That moment when you're about to cheat OR realize that you're content with doing it & are making plans to do it...what are you thinking in that moment?

You know you have 3 choices:
1. Stay faithful & try to fix the problem & just HOPE that everything works itself out
2. Leave the relationship altogether if you know deep down that the problems aren't fixable
3. Or stay but yet cheat

Why stay?

If you're partner/relationship is THAT bad, why not just leave?

If you're afraid that leaving will cause devestation/destruction to the other person, your family or the relationship, how come you don't realize that the SAME devestation/destruction can happen if you cheat AND get found out—

So in that case, are you really doing your partner a favor by staying?

To all cheaters...what are you thinking in THAT MOMENT when you're seconds away from committing adultery or cheating?

-Are you really totaling up all the possible consequences that will occur IF you're found out?
-OR are you spending the time in that moment desperately trying to convince yourself that you're justified & won't get caught at all?

Don't go getting all quiet on me either! I know half of you have cheated before!!! I'm just curious to know what your thoughts were in that moment....

I hear so many cheaters look back in hindsight & say "It wasn't worth it, now looking back." So this drives me to ask them, well duh! How could you not know/realize that what you were doing WOULD absolutely cause chaos if found out? Did you NOT think of the consequences of your actions at all?! Sheeeesh!

But Krys, that's just it. I don't think that cheaters think of consequences when they are doing it. If anything, they probably figure that they'll never get caught. So, the idea of destruction and what it could do to their beloved only pops up if they actually THINK that they WILL get caught. I'm just going by what my cheater friends said.

Posted by annabella
No they're mindless men who think with their dicks. There's no complexity. God wasted emotions, sensitivity and feeling on us women. Why he went to the extent of creating us and not an equal counterpart is beyond me.

That's not fair. Women cheat too and predominantly so nowadays. It's just a matter of a weak willed person. Sometimes the cheater knows their partner is a doormat(lol, that's our exclusive term, Annabella) and will accept them no matter what nonsense they pull, so they continue their galavanting. lol

I had one Taurus boyfriend that cheated on me 13 times over the course of a year and a half, I knew about two incidences until the end when I learned about the rest. The girls came forward to me saying they thought I knew...and I hadn't. I never cheated on him once, always forgave him. That's a little doormat.

That's a doormat. Period. Why? Because you overlook loyalty to yourself, which comes back to something I promote, self respect. You discovered that he cheated on you once, yet you took him back. No one is blaming you for taking him back one time. The 2nd you took him back, shame on you. You know how the saying goes: "Cheats on you once, shame on him. Cheats on you twice, shame on you." So ultimately cheating on you 13 times is irrelevant. Personally, philandering once is more than enough. I wouldn't even give a man a second chance, because cheating to me is veryyyyy disrespectful act.

I've also had a boyfriend who I dated for years who would go out and make plans without consulting me first or ever asking me if I wanted to join. I'd spend all week assuming we would spend time together over the weekend, to find on Friday night at 10 pm he was out of town for whatever reason (friends/photoshoot/family event/surfing). I still dated him, that's doormat too. He never cheated on me once, and I believe that in my heart.

Doormat is ultimately someone's nonsense continuously, after having voiced their unhappiness. If you voiced your unhappiness, and he kept doing it and then you stayed, then you're right, a doormat again. Where is self-respect in all of this?

By not cheating, you didn't do anyone a favour but yourself. Imagine the guilty conscience that would follow had you done it. I've never cheated either, but then again I would nver put up with anyone's garbage either.

Posted by annabella
haha but I appreciate your effort to empower me hon it's really cute haha I'm strong though 🙂

You have no idea how much I would love to empower women when it comes to lack of self-respect for themselves. I see women venting all the time about the crappy things their bfs do or vice versa, and I'm thinking in my head, if he's always doing stupid things, and half the time you are unhappy, why not just leave him?!

Not trying to be insulting but I don't see lacking self-respect as strong. If you think that you are ever resilient for putting up with actions of another that are not just to you, then that's not being strong. That's a deficiency or rather neediness

Posted by annabella
Right well.. I did voice my unhappiness and I realize things don't happen overnight so I spent time working on those things and letting him get his stuff together (the him in the 2nd relationship I described). As far as self respect is concerned, I treat myself well and take care of myself so I do respect myself. I guess I'm too much of a hopeless romantic though. I genuinely hoped things would eventually work out with both relationships. They didn't and I've since moved on.

I like the purple orchid in your pic! So pretty 🙂

Thank you 🙂 I know you put up w/ a lot in your relationships. My mother is like that. Cancer women tend to be very forgiving and nurturing that way. Your moon is very strong. But, I really believe that women who persevere deserve a lot better than "making it work with some jackass" who doesn't respect them and take them for granted. I don't care what anyone says but upsetting your partner most of the time is not love, respect or care. Whatever word one wants to you. Someone once said to me that if you want to know/see whether your partner loves/cares for you, then just look at your behaviour w/ someone you truly care about. If you treat them with respect and love and they don't do the same, that means they don't love/care for you. So why waste effort on that. Like I said, women who persevere and try to make it work deserve better!!!

Lord this topic in all its forms irks the ever-loving crap out of me. If someone cheats, don't let the door bang their ass on the way out. I've had a gut full of trying to analyze it, there IS no analyzing it. Some cheat just because they DO. Someone could have the dream partner of a lifetime and they'll STILL cheat. At times there is no reason for unhappiness or tear in your beer, my ego is crushed so I'm gonna WOOPS! fall into someone elses groin over it. Some just don't have the cojones to be faithful to another human being. So tired of loopholes and glossing over shit behavior. Oh LOOK! I did this "__________" because my teddy bear looked at me cross-eyed! Nah! You did it because you're a horses ASS. Straight up. Bottom line, end of story and *SWISH✨ two points.

Posted by venusianbull
Lord this topic in all its forms irks the ever-loving crap out of me. If someone cheats, don't let the door bang their ass on the way out. I've had a gut full of trying to analyze it, there IS no analyzing it. .

For the woman/man whose been cheated on, the who's & why's may not matter, BUT I'm not currently a victim of cheating nor am I doing any cheating so this topic is just like any other thread that explores the mindset of certain behaviors. And cheating is 1 of them. Doesn't mean that knowing why/how changes or justifies anything...it's just moreso me wanting to take a look into the minds of cheaters...chill

Posted by krysrenee7

Posted by venusianbull
Lord this topic in all its forms irks the ever-loving crap out of me. If someone cheats, don't let the door bang their ass on the way out. I've had a gut full of trying to analyze it, there IS no analyzing it. .

For the woman/man whose been cheated on, the who's & why's may not matter, BUT I'm not currently a victim of cheating nor am I doing any cheating so this topic is just like any other thread that explores the mindset of certain behaviors. And cheating is 1 of them. Doesn't mean that knowing why/how changes or justifies anything...it's just moreso me wanting to take a look into the minds of cheaters...chill

click to expand

But Krys, don't you think that we will never understand the reasonings or thought process of a deceptive mind, until we ourselves become one. I don't think that a habitual cheater is going to try to make us see how he/she thinks, and even if he/she did attempt, we won't comprehend until we become like them.

I've never cheated before, but saying that I would never cheat is naive on my part because given the right situation/temptation, I may.

Now I know some of you will say that you were given the opportunity, but you still didn't take advantage by cheating on your partner. But, have you ever considered that maybe the opportunity that was presenting itself wasn't strong enough in luring you astray?!

A weak-willed person is more likely to cheat because they are easily lured, but I think that even strong willed people are led astray given the challenge/opportunity is worthy of their strength.