where do I stand in all of this

my girlfriend Broke up wit me we have been dating for six months i'm a and at the beginning of The relationship it seems like we had so much to talk about but I admit that I wasn't really trying to get to know her I was just trying to have sex wit her but she wanted to date me even after I said that I didn't want to .we where talking for about one month be4 I asked her out and she said yes she she said I love u first and even tho I didn't say it back that day I did say after I started to get feeling for her we dated for 3 month before I started to see a Change I in her seem like every thing was great in my eye especially when we work together but we didn't seem to have much to talk about I asked her if there was anything wrong and she said no she said that we had have a great relationship and that she loves me more now then she did the first time we met The only thing is she had to lie to her mom every time we wanted hang out she was going to go to college and then to the army and didn't know how it would work plus after seeing some of the girls that I went out with be 4 Her she started ask me do I think that I would be batter off wit someone my age or do u think I'm immature and I would all ways tell her the truth NO to me we worked just need to work on our talking but I guess that the lie was getting to her so she told her mom and her mom said that she didn't think that we should date and that she didn't need to be in a relationship right now to Focus on your career .... so my girl told me that she thinks that I'll be better off with someone else the next day call and asked her if she still think that and she said no I ask her if she still loves me like she all way has and she said yes I ask her if she would date me again and she said yes but she don't know if we would I ask her why she don't think that we would and she said I don't know I think we should just be friends what should I do ps.it's only been three days and I have called every day since the breakup

I feel for you; it sounds like Mom is clearly a heavy influence in your girlfriends life. And it seems that although you say you were together for 6 months, she lied to her mom about seeing you so effectively you were "dating in secret"? If this is the case, it will have never worked. When I was much younger and still living at home my parents were very strict (esp my dad) and I was not allowed to date anyone, so what did I do? Went off anyway and "dated" guys and lied through my teeth about where I was. It is not a recipe for a relationship I'm afraid and none lasted beyond a few months. Mom is worried you are going to lead her little girl away and that she will be so in love with you that she will abandon all plans for college and the Army for you. You just have to be there for her and ask your girl to convince her mum that college and career plans are still in the picture... if you want to stay with her keep supporting and keep in contact with her, but be aware that she will be getting an awful lot of pressure from Mom now so try not to pile on too much more...

well I ask her could I come over and talk to her mom but she said it might make it worse so the only time I can talk to her is over the phone and I fill like I haven't give her time to really think things through and that cuz Eastside for mom she really wants to accomplish this goal of her life and I fill that even tho she say she love me and all and answer the phone even though she's not supposed to be talking to me I just believed that she might choose her career over me and I'm not mad is she I'm not really mad if she do but I will but more like respecter for making a tough decision to like go for a goal that can carry whole life but just hurt that it might come to that cuz I do want her to go but the same time I want her to be wit me I don't know is it bad to say but she might be right to do so is their any advice you can give me to try to get her back reaching what we had for anything anything

It's difficult to "get her back" ... Get her back into a "relationship"? It was based on a lie... Her lying to her mum all the time and that is not healthy.
Just be there for her whatever she decides. I see you have out this in several different threads: truecap has given you some useful insight to go on. I know you feel like maybe clearing the air with the mum but I would strongly suggest steering clear of that!

lol yeh cuz I'm really serious about this and I know what I want and what I think I should do but just trying to find the best way to go by getting her back

Take the pressure of her by keeping the contact but reassuring her that it'll be ok, that you love her and that you only have eyes for her and you support her in her quest to go to college and join the Army. it would help if you also took the emotion out of it a little by getting her to open up about her college course and what she wants to do in the Army; that way when she is speaking to her mom about you she can explain that you have been nothing but supportive about her career plans. Tell her that you believe in her and you will not let her push you away. You be the man here and show her your strength. 🙂

Her mom control her life. And for some odd reason she's not ready to break that cycle just yet.

Let me guess...her mom (or parents) are paying her way through school, paying some (or all) of her bills or are doing SOMETHING for her that they constantly threaten to take away or stop doing whenever she goes against their wishes?

It's either that or she's the type of person who strongly believes in family approval despite the fact that sometimes she may feel or want differently than them. Some people are really like that. They're raised to believe that "mom" knows best & w/o any hesitation will break away from you if mommy says to. They especially do this if they have the kind of parent that is always pointing out to them how they've never been wrong before.

Or hell it could be a mixture of ALL of this going on at once.

Or it could be that she'd once sacrificed her job or school for a boy once, lost out on a lot by doing so & is now terrified of making that same mistake twice. And if this is her fear, she'll probably succumb to the pressure if she's got family members in her ear swearing that she's going down the same path with a new boyfriend this time like she did the last time. If her making that mistake before severely hurt/affected her, she'll most likely run the minute she or anyone close to her starts calling it to her attention that she's "doing it again."

Either way, she's not ready to be in a relationship. She probably cares deeply for you but all the love in the world won't matter if your goal is to be committed to someone who isn't ready/doesn't want to be committed. If she can't make her own decisions w/o her mom's opinion constantly trumping her own, then trust me, she did you a favor by leaving you. Her mom running her life & always butting in her business would get very old to you very quick & would probably put an enormous strain on the relationship anyways.

Remember, all girls aren't sitting at home desperate to be had, taken or in a relationship. Some girls take relationships seriously & will get out of them the minute they start feeling like they be unfair in not giving you their all. This is a good & noble thing, even though it's not often what the other person wants to hear/see.

Some people will actually do you the favor of sparing you from their bullsh***t if they know that their undealt with demons will just ruin the relationship anyways. Their ability to be unselfish is actually a good thing & a favor to yo

......... Their ability to be unselfish is actually a good thing & a favor to you. But you won't see that if you're only thinking in the short term, not long term