Would you?? If your partner cheated?

OMG its been a long time since Ive come here.....today at work we had a discussion amongst a group of male and female friends that went along the lines of: "If you were in a relationship and your partner cheated on you and that other person knew about you would you want to get revenge". Speaking with many that have been cheated on and still want revenge it was funny to hear the stories of what they'd like to do and what some have done.

So would you want to get back at your partner or ex partner's fling?

Personally, Ive been there and although the thought crossed my mind, its just too much effort these days but some of these people were quite elaborate in what they'd do. This wasnt directed at partners who had flings with others that didnt know they were attached in any way.

Should be an interesting lot of responses given the incredible number of people who do cheat in this day and age. One woman who added input actually wrote on her ex partner's prized lawn "infidile" which is kinda funny but also illegal.

Mmm. My ex did in fact do this. I sat back and let Karma take a big bite out of his ass. She cheated on him and was moved in with another person within a week of the blessed event. And did I mention I initiated the divorce? 😛

Getting revenge would come to mind & be my 1st instinct BUT that doesn't mean that I'd act on it. After all, getting revenge wouldn't erase the hurt or change the fact that my partner cheated on me.

And so what if the "other woman" knew about me the whole time?! Yes, it sucks that there are scandalous women out here BUT my battle would NEVER be with the other woman, considering she wouldn't have any power in the 1st place had my man not been willing to give her that power. The ONLY person responsible for respecting & honoring the relationship is my PARTNER, not the outsiders. If both people don't respect the relationship, you can't expect for OTHERS on the outside to respect it either. Sucks, but it IS what it is.

I'd assume that since the other woman knew about me, she must REALLY really want my man. So if that was the case, MY REVENGE would be to LEAVE the relationship & let them 2 have eachother. After all, I'd feel bad for HIM b/c he'd be a fool to hook up with ANY woman whose willing to settle. I'd also feel bad for HER b/c we all know what he'll do to me/behind my back, he'll ALSO do to her. So I'd let them have eachother. And I'd wait for the day when she ends up getting hurt by him TOO or vice versa.

Revenge is so played-out nowadays. Women are killing their husbands, themselves & the mistresses...literally ruining their OWN lives all to get the TEMPORARY feeling of relief that revenge rewards them. It's NOT worth it.

If a man was willing to lose me over over another woman, fine! I'd let them have eachother & I'd let them go & establish their own fantasy-land relationship. Yeah, it'd hurt BUT it hurts even MORE to know that even after getting revenge, the pain STILL DID NOT go away. HE'd be the 1 losing out on ME if he ever cheated, SO with that being said, I'd do MYSELF a favor & NOT spend ANOTHER DIME of time/energy dedicated to ANYTHING involving him. And although revenge might feel good in the moment, I'd be an IDIOT to once AGAIN dedicated UNDESERVED time/effort to someone undeserving. It's not worth it

Plus, I LOVE walking away with confidence, knowing that he'll soon regret that he lost me. And when/IF he ever came to that conclusion of regret, I still WOULDN'T take him back. MY REVENGE would be for him to continue regretting losing me all over someone who probably won't even remain in his life for 1/4 the time I was.

And it's kind of hard to make someone regret losing you if the last impression they had of you was you going crazy & letting your feelings get the best of you. For the women that go & sleep with other men as their "revenge" for getting cheated on...ha! Good one! I'm sure your man REALLY wants you back now, especially since you stooped low enough to give your body to someone undeserving all b/c of him! Wtf, yeah right! He wouldn't regret losing a woman like this; he's probably be HAPPY that he took the chance of losing a woman that ended up being a "sl*t" anyways. I'd never let someone know that they had THAT much power over me.

Getting revenge WON'T make the other person regret losing you. You LEAVING them & having the patience to let them figure out that losing you was the WORST thing ever WILL make that person regret losing you! Getting revenge will only FURTHER allow that person to justify why they betrayed you in the 1st place. After all, it's kind of hard to feel sorry for/regret losing the woman who just vandalized your property!

And ha! Whose to say that the revenge will even have an AFFECT on that person?!!! So many people (men especially) get used to & grow to EXPECT revenge. It's sad, but nowadays, I don't see men getting all that upset when their tires are slashed or when their things are vandalized. B/c they expect it, it doesn't affect them. So for the woman doing the tire slashing, all she did was 1. Fool herself in thinking that somehow turning on him will make him want her MORE & 2. Set herself up for a day in court, being charged with a crime. And sorry but, I wouldn't let ANYONE (ESPECIALLY someone undeserving) turn me into a criminal!

The consequences of getting revenge FAR OUT-LAST the temporarily feeling some get from it, if they even feel better at all

By getting revenge you are brining yourself down to the cheaters level. Cheating is not ok, Regardless of the reason if you do it even for revenge you are no better then the cheater. I would prefer to walk away with my head held high knowing that I never wronged anybody.

In my opinion the best revenge is not remaining biiter and going on to live a happy life without the guy.

@Libra & Cappy: AMEN! As the saying goes, "THE BEST REVENGE IS IN SHOWING OTHERS YOU'VE MASTERED THE ART OF 'DOING YOU' & NOT THEM ANYMORE!"

If Revenge actually 1. Took the pain away 2. Guaranteed that the person wouldn't ever cheat again and/or 3. Didn't backfire, I don't think revenge would sound like such a bad idea!

Yo, I feel bad for the women who kill their husband's mistresses & end up spending the rest of their own lives in prison! I can't IMAGINE what'd that be/feel like! I especially feel bad for the women who go out of their way to get this "perfect revenge" only to FURTHER feel insulted when their ex loses even MORE respect for them. After all, the whole point of getting revenge is that we want the other person to "feel" SOMETHING! Even if we don't want the jerk anymore, it's just natural for women to STILL want taht jerk to want them & regret losing them, even though technically it shouldn't really matter.

I'd HATE to get revenge on someone in the hopes that doing so would make that person regret losing me, & yet find out that it just made the person who betrayed me FURTHER feel glad that they lost me! Like I said, it's kind of hard to regret losing the person who just vandalized your property or tried to destroy something/someone that means alot to them!

My first boyfriend disapeared after the very night he took my virginity. I prank called him for suchh a long time. Sent a bunch of harsh texts and emails. I was dipressed and in pain. I don't know if he'd ever cheated though but in a way he lied to me. Honestly... I DO feel like a fool for all of what I did. Even if he was the jerk of the century it's ME who feels like a complete fool.

!What everyone wrote above me is true in every word!

Some good responses and some of what we discussed also. I guess many of us have been there before, sometimes more than once in the past. I used to get hung up about it but agree with others, that if they cheated on you to be with somebody else? then its their loss and you have to feel sorry for the woman that they cheated on you for because he'll do it to them too ESPECIALLY if she knew he was already involved.

to me the main perpetrator is the cheater because if they said they were involved with you or declared a "committed relationship" with you, then they are the one who have betrayed all trust. The other woman/man (whichever the case) is just as foolish and kharma will get them back.

Love the stories though...and yes I feel sorry for those who took/take it to the extremes....anger and resentment and revenge certainly have a lot to answer for.

Thanks for the feedback - its interesting to see the different opinions on the subject. Funnily enough adultery used to be a criminatl offence, now its just something people do and thats why some have taken the law into their own hands.

—??bust the windows out your carrrr——


Lol 😛

Nah. I wouldn't really. It's not worth it.

In fact neither of them are worth any of my time at all.

@Chatz: I think some women feel the need to get revenge on the other woman b/c to some degree, they feel threatened by the "other woman" & the fact that another woman had that much power. Some women start getting jealous & start giving the other woman more credit than she deserves. Ya know, the common phrase, "What does she have that I don't have?"
Women assume that b/c the other woman was worth it enough to her man to betray her for that the other woman is just as much a target for revenge the way the man is.

And that's not the case. There's NO need to be mad at the other woman. She will get the same treatment you got. She will be cheated on/betrayed too. No, her & your man won't ride off into the sunset together. No, the "other woman" isn't better than you are or have some sort of secret magical power that you don't have. No no no! So there's no use in feeling vengeful towards the other woman. After all, you'd BOTH have something in common: You'd BOTH can say that you are/were messing with a man that aint worth a damn! I always feel SORRY for the other woman! Poor thing, she'll be shedding the same tears & experiencing the SAME betrayal in due time.

Plus, women always assume that the other woman HAD to have known the man was taken the whole time & that's NOT always the case. If that man will lie to YOU, he'll lie to HER & anybody else. SOME men are honest about the fact that they're in relationships, BUT 99% of the time, they play the "victim" & pretend to hate their relationship so that other women won't feel as bad or won't feel like they're being a "homewrecker" just in case they decide to pursue that taken man.

There's NO use in getting revenge on the "other woman" b/c in many ways, you & the mistress have ALOT in common: You both have been lied to, cheated out of what you deserve (hell even the other woman deserves a man that can finish 1 thing before he starts another), & you both have OR atleast WILL have experienced some form of betrayal by the same guy eventually. So getting revenge on her is like getting revenge on yourself.

The other woman is often LIED to just like you were. If a man is the devil behind your back, it's NOT like he's going to be 100% real, honest & faithful to the face of someone else (Men don't change overnight). The other woman may have been told that the man was no longer with you OR that the relationship was doomed anyways. Doesn't make it right BUT for some women, they DON'T feel responsible for wrecking a relationship IF the man has made it seem like his relationship with his REAL girlfriend was already a wreck.

Yes, I'm always disappointed when a man cheats on me BUT I'm also disappointed that yet ANOTHER Woman will probably be fooled long after me too. I'm not 1 of these women that gets jealous of the "new" fling my ex has. I feel SORRY for her AND him. Hell, if the "other woman" will step on MY feet & get with a man whose not done with me before he starts something with her, that says ALOT about her. Not only will SHE get lied to/cheated on just like I did, but HE will probably be played by the "other woman" at some point too.

Not at all. It's not worth my time or energy. I'd 86 them from my life asap and keep them as far from me as possible for a while. I can get royally pissed if pushed enough and all hell can break loose so i've realized that it's in everyone's best interest if i walk away... far, far away. sure, i toy with the ideas of revenge in my head as it helps to cope with the pain but i would never act upon them. revenge is supposed to be sweet but it has always left a bad aftertaste in my mouth.

hehehe good answers.

Ive most certainly been cheated on and the last guy's chick actually knew about me - she literally received photos (via email) of us on holiday, was told not to ring at certain times/days so yeah, I dont feel sorry for women like that but those who are unaware? well they are just as deceived as the person who was cheated on in the so-called relationship.

I guess its 50/50 of those who would want revenge. I think the best revenge is kharma....unfortunately it doesnt always come but one can only hope that some day it will come through.

Although at times Ive been prone to thinking of what would be a good revenge tactic but at the end of the day I realise its just too hard, too much effort and it actually makes me think more and more about a person who doesnt deserve my thoughts let alone any money and/or time spent on finding a way.

Some of the stories though? kinda funny...thanks for the giggles 🙂

@Chatz: Very true. People don't feel confident enough that karma will come back around ten-fold. Instead of having faith that their man/ex will eventually get what's coming to him (karma), they get impatient & decide to take it upon themselves to carry out that person's "punishment." And it's b/c people want FRONT-ROW seats for when that person finally gets their Karma. BUT it can't always be that way. That person may not get their karma until 4-5 relationships or years later. And if you're truly done with someone, WHEN they experience that Karma shouldn't be of any concern to you.

Oh & heck yeah there are DEF. some women who are fully aware of a man's girlfriend. Some women may not even want your man. They just want the sex. BUT people always assume that the "other woman" must only be around b/c she wants something SERIOUS from your man. Not always the case! Some women are just as ok with having a sexual fling with NO strings attached just like some men are. So while a woman might be freaking out & feeling threatened b/c she thinks the "other woman" must want her man emotionally or long-term, little does she know, that "other woman" could give a damn about love.

Some women are actually OK with having affairs with men that are taken, especially if their only intent is the sex. And for some women, as long as the sex is GOOD, they could care less whether or not that man is taken! Sad but true.

Plus getting revenge on the "other woman" is just yet ANOTHER way for a woman to place most of the blaim on everybody ELSE but the original culprit: The man who cheated and/or whom allowed a 3rd party to come in & jeopardize the relationship. So what the other woman knew about you?! That does NOT take away from the fact that your man is even THAT MUCH MORE TRIFLIN for seeking a woman who was OK with being a homewrecker! That'd make me 10xs more angry with HIM than her!