Anybody seeing something here that I'm not?

Sadge men are completely new to me, and I need some help deciphering this one.

I had my first date with D about 5 weeks ago. He's 40 and I'm 38. We completely hit it off and he's asked me for our next date at the end of every date so far. We had 4 dates in 4 weeks. Now he just got out of a 15 year marriage about 5 months ago, and I'm pretty sure my life has been way more exciting than his. Our dates have been really a ton of fun: we dance, we drink, we tell stories, we sing, we hike, we make out, it's all really good. He's been good about calling to confirm dates and has been a gentleman. We have not had sex yet. Up until last week I thought things were going great. I looked over my call log and he's called every 2-4 days for 6 weeks. I didn't always answer, and he kept calling.

So at the end of our last date (almost two weeks ago now) he asked if I was working that upcoming weekend. I told him only Saturday, so he said "great, lets go out to dinner on Friday or Sunday". Before he left we decided on Friday. I was excited, it seemed like we were going to start seeing each other twice a week instead of once.

Friday rolls around and I get an email from him breaking our date because he wasn't "going to be around". I wasn't upset that he had to break our date, stuff happens. He apoligized for the short notice and wrote that "Sunday should be fine though." His reason seemed legitimate, and he tried to reschedule, but truthfully, I was annoyed at the tone of the email, it felt like he was already starting to take me for granted. I did the only thing I could do: I emailed him back and told him 'No worries about tonight. I'd love to go out with you on Sunday, but I'm sorry, I've already made other plans'. (Which was true) So I expected a phone call for the past week but none came. I mean, he broke the date through an email. (RUDE) I broke down and called him this past Saturday when I didn't think he would answer and left a message. I was very cool "Hey I've been crazy busy this week but I wanted to say hi. Call when you get a chance." It's now Tuesday and still no phone call, a week and a half after the broken date.

So I'm reading about how Sadge men like their space, but this disappearing seems out of character for how he's been so far. There is no way he's gotten bored, I'm easygoing and we've been having a blast. It's been him doing the calling and planning for our dates, and me just showing up and having lots of fun with him.

I was trying unsuccessfully to post this above



HIM ME

Sagittarius SUN Virgo/Leo cusp

Scorpio MOON Cancer

? ASC Aquarius

Sagittarius MERCURY Leo

Capricorn VENUS Libra

Pisces MARS Taurus

Sagittarius JUPITER Aquarius

Gemini SATURN Cancer

Libra URANUS Libra

Sagittarius NEPTUNE Sagittarius

a few things:

1.) he has a life and is living it. find some hobbies, he will come back around if the sex is banging. your just dating...not bf/gf
2.) his venus in cap has disqualified you out of the running
3.) the fact that you didnt let him reschedule made his scorp moon put u on the back burner. you got your panties in a wad and reacted.


dont initiate any further. if he wants to come back around, he will.

Posted by greenergrl
It's now Tuesday and still no phone call, a week and a half after the broken date.

.

whose fault is that? he wanted to reschedule, but u wanted to play games.

our advice. I love that he plans our dates, it makes me feel secure too.

I felt that he was taking me for granted for two reasons. One, by cancelling our date because he going 'to not be around'. I mean, when you make a date, you can't just not 'be around'. It's not like we live together or see each other every day. I don't expect for him to be around, unless we have a date. It's a new relationship, if he has to cancel for good reason, I understand. It was his choice of wording I guess that made me go "huh?". Ok, maybe I'm reading into that too much.

Posted by Sutekh
But you thinking that you're going to be the focal point of his weekend and he doesn't know you or anything. Kinda naive.

This goes to my second reason I felt taken for granted. He tried to reschedule for Sunday, thinking that my weekend would revolve around HIM. That I would just be available. After breaking our Friday night date, then my Sunday would be his. He wrote "Sunday should be good though". Should be? Ok, it is or it isn't? I wasn't trying to reject him, I really did make other plans and I was very nice about it. You think he may be distancing himself because he felt rejected? I decided to call him to check in. He can't feel THAT rejected that he doesn't call me back for a week and a half, even after I left him a message.

Posted by DMV
a few things:
1.) he has a life and is living it. find some hobbies, he will come back around if the sex is banging. your just dating...not bf/gf

This is true. I am busy too.

2) his venus in cap has disqualified you out of the running



Perhaps, but I hope not.

3.) the fact that you didnt let him reschedule made his scorp moon put u on the back burner. you got your panties in a wad and reacted.



I'm reacting here, but I didn't react to him! I was very nice.

Posted by DMV

Posted by greenergrl
It's now Tuesday and still no phone call, a week and a half after the broken date.

.

whose fault is that? he wanted to reschedule, but u wanted to play games.

click to expand

I wasn't playing games, I really did make other plans with my girlfrien

ds which I wasn't about to drop.

dont initiate any further. if he wants to come back around, he will.



For sure!


DAMN YOU MERCURY RETROGRADE! hahaha Thank God it's almost over!

I'm just lurking on this thread and debating whether or not to put my 2cents in. I had similar situation once upon a time but I'm Aries and he's Cancer.

Basically, he called me on the morning of our third date to cancel saying that he thinks he's coming down with a cold and wanted to reschedule on the spot for the following weekend. I told him I would be busy that entire weekend (true) but immediately suggested an alternate date.

Whether or not he really wasn't feeling well or making up an excuse - and whether or not he believed that my entire following weekend was already booked is debatable. But we were just at the "feeling each other out" stage. We were at a stage of uncertainty where we really didn't know each other yet, what our life style s, commitments and responsibilities were - or even how each really felt about the other.

It's possible that because you didn't offer an alternative date when Sunday wasn't good for you, or at least immediately make it clear that you'd like to see him again soon - he may have begun to question your interest. Or maybe he does have a lot going on right now that you don't know about, and you - as a new addition to his 40 yr history - are not currently his top priority.

No Sags or Virgos in this scenario, so my story may not apply in this situation. But anyway, take it fwiw 🙂

Posted by SheDevil4u
Maybe I am wrong but I am a cancer and I am dating a Sag currently. After we had an awesome time together over the period of an entire weekend, he played the dissapearing act on me. I was always told that people treat you the way you allow them to. I confronted him about only communicating with me over text messages for over a 5 day period and he never did it again. He respected the fact that I said something and I think he likes my directness. He calls me everyday now and we are together every weekend. If I didn't have that extra sassiness or wasn't direct, i don't think we would have lasted. He also loves the fact that I am aggressive sexually. idk if that has anything to do with it, lol. But I would suggest that if you want his attention and time, you will need to tell him that. But don't be too overbearing. I directly asked him if he felt that I was asking for too much and he said "not at all".

Even though we talk everyday, I let him initiate most of the communication. I also go to him with questions and advice I need (Saggies are GREAT at giving advice!). Call him and tell him to help you with a situation or something. He will be delighted to. 😉

You're exactly right. I love a woman who is direct, but not overbearing. But, you should initiate contact as well because one day he will realize it and stop calling. Other then that, continue on your present course lol.

UPDATE: So he called, a week ago tonight. Thursday, 14 days after cancelling our date. I didn't answer and he left a message. He apologized for being out of contact, said laughing that he has "15 excuses that he's not going to use on me", and wants to get together. Over those two weeks, I'd gone from being sad to confused to angry to just letting it go. When I got this message, I wasn't really sure how to react. I'd already kind of written him off.

I didn't call him back but I kept my phone on me all the time to make sure I didn't miss his next call. Sunday night I had just gotten to work and put my phone away and he calls again, and of course I missed it. erg. This time he sounds really sad saying that he hopes I'm well and he hopes I call him back. So I said ok, I'll call him and give him a second chance to make things right again. Monday night I called back when I knew he was getting out of work and it goes straight to voice mail. I left a nice message...and here is it Thursday with no call back. Pssshhhttt..This Virgo Jersey girl is out...

sometimes thats how it is with saggis. i am horrible at returning phone calls, i just get distracted. dont take it personal

LOL you are such a Virgo! haha, you analyzed the crap out of the whole situation but I am the same exact way. My ex was a Sag, he loved me and still does because I was the only woman who WOULDNT put up with his shit, I am Virgo by the way. He likes minimum lovey dovey clinginess, non-chalantness seems like it makes him want me more still even to this days and its been 10 years. I would just kick back and not stress so much about him calling, meet some other people and hang out with them don't make this man who isn't your boyfriend and technicially you aren't even dating your only option.

Let's stop making execuses for his behavior. He is 40 years old after all, soon to be 41. Adult, emotionally mature men do not act this way. If you like someone, you show it..Period, Dot.

NO ONE WAITS 2 WEEKS TO CALL SOMEONE THEY ARE INTO (unless you have been deployed)

I'm with you Greenerglr, I would bounce. You have only invested a month or so of your life. I would not give him any more time than that. You will be right back here in a year posting about his inconsistent a $ $ .

BTW, I have a Sag man that I can not shake for the life of me so I doubt this is typical Sag behavior.

He showed you his hand so you have the right to fold. It's in the poker rule book. 😛