Gaurav_Aries
@Gaurav_Aries
19 Years5,000+ Posts
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Bholaji For Archie - Bak with a Bang !
Punjab ( A state in India ) National Exam :
Punjab Engineering & Medical Entrance Exam
Time Limit: 3 Weeks
1. What language is spoken in Tamil Nadu ?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope?
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic (check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and
the little hand is on the 5?
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately) 8.
What are people in India's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners
9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton
10. Six kings of India have been called Akbar , the last one
being
Akbar the Sixth. Name the previous five.
11. Where does rain come from?
(a) Macy's
(b) a 7-11
(c) Canada
(d) the sky
12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
(a) yes
(b) no
13. What are coat hangers used for?
14. The "Jana Gana Mana " is the National Anthem for what
country?
15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium
-OR-spell
your name in BLOCK LETTERS.
16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?
17. Which part of India produces the most oranges?
(a) Gujarat
(b) Russia
(c) Canada
(d) Pakistan
18. Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do
you have?
19. What does AIR (All India Radio) stand for?
20. The University of Chandigarh tradition for efficiency began
when
(approximately)? (a) B.C. (b) A.D. (c) still waiting
Punjab Engineering & Medical Entrance Exam
Time Limit: 3 Weeks
1. What language is spoken in Tamil Nadu ?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope?
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic (check only one)
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and
the little hand is on the 5?
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately) 8.
What are people in India's far north called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners
9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton
10. Six kings of India have been called Akbar , the last one
being
Akbar the Sixth. Name the previous five.
11. Where does rain come from?
(a) Macy's
(b) a 7-11
(c) Canada
(d) the sky
12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
(a) yes
(b) no
13. What are coat hangers used for?
14. The "Jana Gana Mana " is the National Anthem for what
country?
15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium
-OR-spell
your name in BLOCK LETTERS.
16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?
17. Which part of India produces the most oranges?
(a) Gujarat
(b) Russia
(c) Canada
(d) Pakistan
18. Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do
you have?
19. What does AIR (All India Radio) stand for?
20. The University of Chandigarh tradition for efficiency began
when
(approximately)? (a) B.C. (b) A.D. (c) still waiting
Anywayz here goes bholaji -
Santa Singh went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a
lengthy examination, sighed and looked Santa Singh in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you... you have cancer
and it can't be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month."
Santa Singh, shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character,
managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room. There he saw his son who had been
waiting. Santa Singh said, "Puttar, we Surds celebrate when things are good and
celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer and I've been given a short
time to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints." After three or four pints,
the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some
of Santa Singh's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. Santa Singh told them that the Surds celebrate the
good and the bad. He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends "I've only
got few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS."
The friends gave Santa Singh their condolences and they had a couple more
beers. After his friends left, Santa Singh's son leaned over and whispered his
confusion, "Dad, I thought you said that you were dying from cancer? You just told your friends that you were dying from
AIDS!"
Santa Singh said, " I am dying from cancer, puttar. I just don't want any
of them around your mother after I'm gone."
Santa Singh went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a
lengthy examination, sighed and looked Santa Singh in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you... you have cancer
and it can't be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month."
Santa Singh, shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character,
managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room. There he saw his son who had been
waiting. Santa Singh said, "Puttar, we Surds celebrate when things are good and
celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer and I've been given a short
time to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints." After three or four pints,
the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some
of Santa Singh's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating. Santa Singh told them that the Surds celebrate the
good and the bad. He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends "I've only
got few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS."
The friends gave Santa Singh their condolences and they had a couple more
beers. After his friends left, Santa Singh's son leaned over and whispered his
confusion, "Dad, I thought you said that you were dying from cancer? You just told your friends that you were dying from
AIDS!"
Santa Singh said, " I am dying from cancer, puttar. I just don't want any
of them around your mother after I'm gone."
A sardar from Delhi had an old car which had run for over a
1,00,000 kilometres. He wanted to sell it, but was not getting a
good price because of its excess mileage.
He approached a Madrasi friend of his and asked for help.
The Madrasi gave him an address in Chennai (Madras) and asked
him to visit a mechanic there. The mechanic would adjust the
meter so that it shows only 30,000 kilometres.
The sardar thanked him and left for Madras. For a few days,
the Madrasi didn't see the sardar. He assumed that the sardar
would have sold the car.
A few weeks later, the sardar came to see the Madrasi in
the same car. The Madrasi was surprised and asked - "What
happened? Why have you not sold your car yet?"
The sardar replied - "Why should I? It has run for only
30,000 kilometres."
1,00,000 kilometres. He wanted to sell it, but was not getting a
good price because of its excess mileage.
He approached a Madrasi friend of his and asked for help.
The Madrasi gave him an address in Chennai (Madras) and asked
him to visit a mechanic there. The mechanic would adjust the
meter so that it shows only 30,000 kilometres.
The sardar thanked him and left for Madras. For a few days,
the Madrasi didn't see the sardar. He assumed that the sardar
would have sold the car.
A few weeks later, the sardar came to see the Madrasi in
the same car. The Madrasi was surprised and asked - "What
happened? Why have you not sold your car yet?"
The sardar replied - "Why should I? It has run for only
30,000 kilometres."
Read this biography of a sardar
When God passed out looks,
I thought He said books, and I didn't want any.
When God passed out ears,
I thought He said beers, and I asked for two long ones.
When God passed out legs,
I thought He said kegs, and I asked for two fat ones.
When God passed out noses,
I thought He said roses, and I asked for a big red one.
When God passed out heads,
I thought He said beds, and I asked for a big soft one.
When God passed out brains,
I thought he said trains, and I missed mine.
When God passed out looks,
I thought He said books, and I didn't want any.
When God passed out ears,
I thought He said beers, and I asked for two long ones.
When God passed out legs,
I thought He said kegs, and I asked for two fat ones.
When God passed out noses,
I thought He said roses, and I asked for a big red one.
When God passed out heads,
I thought He said beds, and I asked for a big soft one.
When God passed out brains,
I thought he said trains, and I missed mine.
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