Scorp Female, Sag Male, Need Advice Please!

Context: I, the OP, scorpio sun, scorpio moon, sagittarius venus. He is sagittarius sun, cancer moon, scorpio venus. I can do more natal/synastry if needed.

So, we met for coffee and had a great first date. He was always so sweet, a total romantic, so excited about the relationship, asking odd questions about me to get to know me. It felt like finding gold. Sex was ridiculously crazy, we were skipping classes because we couldn't get out of his bed (college students, you know). I fell harder than I have in a long time. We were about...a week in or so. I tweeted something pretty rude about his ex-girlfriend, that I was glad she treated him badly so I could treat him right. The next day, someone sent him a screenshot of that tweet. He said it wasn't right of me to be mean through social media and he still respects his ex as a person even though they're finished. I don't know about her or what she's been through so me being mean was completely out of line, and he can see now that they just weren't right for each other. It was aggravating that I posted that tweet cause he still keeps up with the friends he met through his ex. It made him look bad/he was embarrassed and since he's not on Twitter, he didn't know. He asked me to take them down. I could tell he was very upset. I was initially angry at first as I had no idea any of those people were watching my twitter, much less knew I had one. He sounded hurt, and I was angry/sad/guilty, so I suggested calling things off for now until the summer (bad move since he only asked me to take down the tweets, but I was panicking and ran my mouth). Gave him room to object and he didn't. He said he was sorry it had to be this way and that he isn't willing to continue right now. He really liked me and hopes I know how special and gifted I am. He hopes it can work in the future because he thinks "something is there." He needs time to fix himself before he gets into another relationship and trusts someone completely again, he hoped I could understand. He wasn't mad, it just scared him, he doesn't want to be hurt again and he's not strong right now. He hopes I'm there when he's ready.

I tweeted something pretty rude about his ex-girlfriend, that I was glad she treated him badly so I could treat him right. you forgot to write why you did that?

so whats the question?

Posted by DMV
I tweeted something pretty rude about his ex-girlfriend, that I was glad she treated him badly so I could treat him right. you forgot to write why you did that?

so whats the question?

I didn't realize my post would get cut off, sorry.

To make myself feel less insecure about how he was still kinda hurt about his ex. Fully acknowledge it was an asshole/bitch move.

I later formally apologized to him, including getting contact info for his ex to try to gain brownie points by apologizing to her as well, although I needed to apologize anyway. He thanked me for apologizing, and said he's not mad, and it's really okay, smiley face. He needs time before he fully commits to someone again, he thinks. Plus he thinks a lot is going on right now for the both of us. Hopefully we can "keep in touch", he meant it when he said he really liked me and hoped I could understand. I did apologize to his ex, and I can elaborate on her response. One last thing, I asked him if he moves on, to let me know so I'm not waiting around. He said he completely understands, and as of now he can "see us being together, but not right now, if that makes sense." However, he doesn't know what will happen or how he may feel in the future, so no promises. But he "will keep me in the loop and keep in touch." He just needs some time, and doesn't think it's healthy for him to be in a relationship right now. I don't know if he meant what he said and I should wait or not. I have no Sagg experience under my belt.

Posted by beautifuldiaster
If he asked for time that's exactly what I'd give him.

Time to think, time to sort himself out, .... time to wonder what I'm doing..

Start making up for loss time in your classes. Join the gym or start a new hobby like dance class or painting.. comoletkey back away and wait for him to reach out.

I have a feeling he will. I'm a sag sun Scorpio Venus.

If it means one day I'll get him back, I'll give him all the time in the world (well, you know what I mean). But my Scorp nature is bothered that I have no guarantee/security here. When he said he couldn't make any promises about how he will feel in the future or what will happen in the future (although fair things to say), it definitely rattled my cage. I would hate to be looking forward to a reply I won't get because he will decide to move on completely or meet a new girl who rocks his world....I really resent the bazillion mixed signals he said to me throughout those messages. It's been driving me crazy.

If he needs time to wonder what I'm doing, I'm glad I deleted my Tinder and him off of Snapchat. It's finals season here at the university so I'm keeping busy, but I still think about and miss him. Unfortunately, the group of friends I ticked off shaded me back, so I'm running a massive PR campaign over the next few months to rebuild my image as well.

Posted by beautifuldiaster
I am protective over anyone I care about.. that includes exes, friends, family.. my dog, my neighbors dog.. it's all important to me. And if someone I care about is hurtful towards anyone else I care about I start to question their intentions Ya know?

I totally understand, loyalty is huge for me, and I'm very protective as well. He and his ex (unfortunately I don't know her birthday) were together for a year and a half, and at that time had been broken up for a little over a month. A lot of the advice I've been given was that he wouldn't have been ready anyways and if it wasn't this, it would have been something else. And that me tweeting what I tweeted rehashed his vulnerability/negative feelings about his ex.

Also, he was led to believe I'm out to get his ex, which is not true. I was on a school trip (honors college retreat for freshman to meet/bond, this was almost two years ago), and when I was asleep in my assigned room (which was hers as well), she had sex with another student in the bed next to mine, I never woke up. Great first impression. She would continue to hook up with him, but would never date him. I later did date the guy, and at this time she was still with my now-ex. So, we have like...a love square thing here. I already don't like the girl, but this was about me being insecure (mostly), not me just trying to ruin this girl however I can. The evidence frames it as something different than what this was actually about.

I would hate to be looking forward to a reply I won't get because he will decide to move on completely or meet a new girl who rocks his world....I really resent the bazillion mixed signals he said to me throughout those messages. It's been driving me crazy.

If he needs time to wonder what I'm doing, I'm glad I deleted my Tinder and him off of Snapchat. It's finals season here at the university so I'm keeping busy, but I still think about and miss him. Unfortunately, the group of friends I ticked off shaded me back, so I'm running a massive PR campaign over the next few months to rebuild my image as well.

ahh as a fellow lunar scorp, you will get better at mastering those urges to create drama 🙂 You got a bit cray cray, but so is he 😉

Ambivalence drives me batty to, so look forward to ZERO calls from him coming your way. Like the other saggi stated, get wrapped up in your life. trust, that cancer moon will notice the absence.

Deleting off social media is crazy and impulsive. dont do that again. just HIDE those you dont want to see. or just dont pay attention to it.

sounds like you have issues with ppl in gerenal. gotta calm that down girlie 🙂

I feel like as a Scorp Sun and Moon, I'm virtually all Scorpio all the time, and an old Scorpio mentor of mine said I'm not even gonna get to eagle in the evoluationary development (scorpion to eagle to phoenix) until my late twenties so I have a lot of growing up to do. I'm as pure, uncontrolled Scorpio as it gets. I hope it does get better as I get older cause cleaning up my messes in all the aisles and doing damage control/PR is getting old/tiring.

HAH.

That's kinda why I deleted him off of Snapchat, because I could see that he was viewing my updates (Snaps that everyone on your friends list can see, and they stay up for 24 hours), but not talking to me. It was driving me insane that he was looking at my updates but didn't want to talk to me or start a conversation after seeing them. I felt like I really needed to do it for the sake of my mental health. It was torture. I hope he misses me, and I guess this is the water sign in me, but if I miss someone, I'm going to break down inside unless I tell them. Not having a guarantee that he's not out there sleeping with or talking to other girls and maybe keeping me on the backburner, is just SCARY. To see him using Tinder was TERRIFYING. IF he needs space, why tf is he on a dating app?!?!?!!!! ARGH. Unless Sag needs the empty flirting like Gemini does.

I'm learning from this mistake, promise, haha. Major wake up call.

I can totally relate. I hide my crushes things from my timeline. i just cant stand it that he gives the world him who i want it all to myself. but i cant control him, hed be boring if i could.

generally cancer moons dont let go. they dont date to mate. you cant get rid of a cancer moon if theyve bonded with you, but you guys are less than a month in.

give him some space.

you are one cunning girl. gotta use those skills wiser. you could lead an army of ppl 😉

Luckily, he doesn't use social media at all. He told me once when we were spending time together that he just accepted his ex's friend request on Facebook, and this was after the relationship, after they broke up. The one thing I wish I could do is show him that his little group of friends shaded me back too on social media. To be like, hey, you know, I did what I did, but don't be led to believe that they're any better than me. I also worry, if I get back together with him one day, that I'll have to deal with these friends. In order to prevent adding fuel to the fire, most of the people involved (cause she told a lot of our mutual friends) have been blocked on the forms of social media we shared. I want an apology from them too, just like I had to apologize. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. Again, I wouldn't know if I needed to rebuild those friendships with the mutual friends or if I even should, but something to deal with when it comes up. I also do hope he comes back, not just cause he's freaking amazing, but as a big "screw you" to that little group, to show they tried to defeat me but they couldn't break me/us.

I would say we had an intense bond. The energy between us was something I have personally never felt before. He told me after our first date he could listen to me talk for hours. He could never shut up about how cute I was, he told me multiple times a day. He doesn't have his car on campus, but told me he wants to take me out so badly, even. Wanted to take me to places. One time, when we were hanging out again, he asked me where I lived and used my phone's map to plan how he would drive to my house.
We would try to be around each other whenever we could, he was already making plans for us for the summer and for the next semester of classes (I commute an hour and half to my school and he was offering to drive out to come get me and take me to school, which would be unnecessary for him as he was planning to live ten minutes from the school). I don't know if it was because of the complementing sun/venus signs, but definitely a wicked energy. We had a hard time keeping our hands off of each other.

I just HOPE he comes back. I would hate to experience heartbreak a second time, and I am speaking with other guys, some of which have expressed interest in dating me, but none of them could make me feel the way he made me feel...

Where is your Mars located and his?

Sorry, I just did a synastry chart, and some of my info wasn't correct. Let me try to list what is relevant and what is not:

Me:
Scorpio Sun, Pisces Moon, Libra Mercury, Scorpio Venus, Sagittarius Mars, Capricorn Ascendant.

He (birth time unknown so went with midday):
Sagittarius Sun, Cancer Moon, Sagittarius Mercury, Scorpio Venus, Virgo Mars, Pisces Ascendant.

Posted by yamilette7410
Sorry, I just did a synastry chart, and some of my info wasn't correct. Let me try to list what is relevant and what is not:

Me:
Scorpio Sun, Pisces Moon, Libra Mercury, Scorpio Venus, Sagittarius Mars, Capricorn Ascendant.

He (birth time unknown so went with midday):
Sagittarius Sun, Cancer Moon, Sagittarius Mercury, Scorpio Venus, Virgo Mars, ...

If you had put the wheel chart or the table of placments with degrees, the prediction (of tendencies) could only get bettter.

In abscence of degrees:

good: Both Moons are water signs, namely Cancer and Pisces.
good: Man's Mars (in Vg) sextile woman's Venus (in Sc).
good: Man's Moon and woman's venus both in water signs.
good: Woman's Moon and man's venus both in water signs.
good: Mercury-Mercury in fire and air signs ~= you can understand each other's logic

bad/exciting: VirgoMars square SagMars (squares bring exciting first, inthe Long run they become obstacles)
bad/exciting: CapricornAC Opposition CancerMoon
bad/exciting: Pisces-Virgo
bad/exciting: Pisces-Sag 2x

but I'm losing concentration. will go offline.

Here's the full Synastry:

http://imgur.com/a/aVfak#5

Posted by yamilette7410

Posted by beautifuldiaster
If he asked for time that's exactly what I'd give him.

Time to think, time to sort himself out, .... time to wonder what I'm doing..

Start making up for loss time in your classes. Join the gym or start a new hobby like dance class or painting.. comoletkey back away and wait for him to reach out.

I have a feeling he will. I'm a sag sun Scorpio Venus.

If it means one day I'll get him back, I'll give him all the time in the world (well, you know what I mean). But my Scorp nature is bothered that I have no guarantee/security here.

click to expand

I believe that's the point. You didn't feel secure and you overplayed your hand to ease your fear(s) (e.g. nasty comment about the ex). In doing this you failed the "universe's" test to see if you were ready to sit at the grown folk's table. You apologized, which in my world means you sincerely meant it, learned something and plan to do better. As you know, lip service doesn't work for Scorps. Don't applogize if you're going to do a different version of what you already did. From my experience, Sags aren't much different in terms of having that expectation.

So, here again you have the opportunity to embrace your insecurity and actually grow from the "test" or fall back on Scorp habits and f*ck it up again just to temporary ease your insecurity. The choice is yours.

To be clear, I'm not suggesting you wait around for this man. Just don't do anything to manipulate the situation to ease your insecurity. You're aware you have this issue, manage it. Deal with it. You'll be better for it if he does come back.

Posted by yamilette7410

Posted by beautifuldiaster
I am protective over anyone I care about.. that includes exes, friends, family.. my dog, my neighbors dog.. it's all important to me. And if someone I care about is hurtful towards anyone else I care about I start to question their intentions Ya know?

I totally understand, loyalty is huge for me, and I'm very protective as well. He and his ex (unfortunately I don't know her birthday) were together for a year and a half, and at that time had been broken up for a little over a month. A lot of the advice I've been given was that he wouldn't have been ready anyways and if it wasn't this, it would have been something else. And that me tweeting what I tweeted rehashed his vulnerability/negative feelings about his ex.

Also, he was led to believe I'm out to get his ex, which is not true. I was on a school trip (honors college retreat for freshman to meet/bond, this was almost two years ago), and when I was asleep in my assigned room (which was hers as well), she had sex with another student in the bed next to mine, I never woke up. Great first impression. She would continue to hook up with him, but would never date him. The evidence frames it as something different than what this was actually about.

click to expand

Rehash? You basically were insensitive about something that was private and hurtful for him. Rubbing in that he was cheated on. His response makes more sense now. Not trying to beat you over the head, but that would be a big issue for most I think regardless of your reason.

I follow what you mean here, the universe kinda "figured out" that I had a weakness and is going to make me grow because of it. But damn, this all really sucks, and evolving as a Scorpio, although necessary, is tough and also sucks. Upon reflection, I wasn't ready for a relationship either, not if I was engaging in childish behavior like that.

I did apologize, this is the hardest lesson ever that I've had to learn in a while, and I am going to do better. Even now, when just chatting with guys on a platonic level, I am more careful than I used to be. I'm trying to do all the growth I can from this. Right, I'm very much "you said this so you meant what you said." I wouldn't dare to do something like this again if I got him back. I haven't messaged him since this time last week/seven days ago, and I'm going to deal with the fact that he needs space, and I don't get to know what he does with this space. I guess this is kinda what I get for what I did, the due punishment/karma. I am doing my best, seven days strong, to manage my insecurity and learn to cope with it. I will not manipulate the situation to ease my fears.

I'm not waiting for him, and I'm engaging in platonic (as far as I know) conversations with other guys. I know better than to put all my eggs in one basket. I just do hope that I'm rewarded for the tribulations I'm going through...living hell honestly.

In response to your second comment PhoenixRising, I know I was. I agree with everything he said about the nature of my words/actions, for sure. I said it to what I thought was a space for me to just put ideas that nobody else who was directly involved would care/see. I didn't think through where I put said thought to assuage my insecurity, much less even putting the thought out there.

I don't know that he was cheated on, all that he and his ex said was that it just wasn't working out. He had told me some tidbits about how she was a bad girlfriend in some aspects, and I then made a generalization.

Definitely a f*ckup I should have made (and honestly probably did make and never learned from) a long time ago in terms of this shows a degree of insecurity that doesn't reflect me as a person.

I think I see where the confusion might be. In telling the retreat story, she broke things off with the hookup (who I would later date) and then get with my now-ex, the Sag.

Posted by yamilette7410
I follow what you mean here, the universe kinda "figured out" that I had a weakness and is going to make me grow because of it. But damn, this all really sucks, and evolving as a Scorpio, although necessary, is tough and also sucks.

No doubt. It's always a work in progress, and the lessons get trickier as you get older. Not easier.

Posted by yamilette7410

I just do hope that I'm rewarded for the tribulations I'm going through...living hell honestly.

click to expand

You will be. Even if you don't end up with him that will hurt, but you'll be ready for the next one and be more appreciative of what you have the next time around---maybe even more so than this Sag if he comes back. We tend take better care of the gifts we have to work for.

They get trickier? OMG. Sigh.

That's kinda my comfort here. If he does not return, he gave me the gift of growth and that's something to be thankful for. If he does, I'm putting my best foot forward, 150% . I would be super grateful, and lots of other things, if he did in fact return to me.

I guess time will tell.

I have those exact placements but my mars is in Leo and I am a female. What he told you was the truth about being embarrassed. If you would have said those things in a private text he may have chuckled and thought it was cute but you saying those types of things openly is a little dramatic and disrespectful. I despised drama, and I also stay friends with exes and have a lot of respect for them. If I've ever loved someone, I made a good choice and they were a great person, but for whatever the reason, we just didn't work out. I am super picky so when I love some one I trust them fully.
This was pretty minor though, just give him some space just like you would need as a Scorpio (no contact) and when he misses you, he will come back around with a "Hey? How have you been?" and you can pretty much ease into it from there.
Believe what he says though. I never say things I don't mean and I keep my promises so if he says he will let you know if he will move on, then he will. I would never string people along because I am really open and direct. I'm not very good at hiding my feelings when I love someone, I tell them and show them through sex. But if you start bugging and chasing while he is taking a breather it could annoy him and backfire on you, so just give it a little time.

I believe what he said about being embarrassed, no doubt. What I'm questioning are the things he told me after he broke up with me....about wanting to reunite with me later. I know that it was definitely the wrong place to express that thought. I once told him I was gonna like his ex's pictures on Instagram and he called me a "feisty little thing." So yeah, in a private context, cute. Public context, not cute. I understand it was dramatic and disrespectful.

See, yeah, the whole staying friends with the ex definitely bothered me a little as jealous/possessive Scorpio. I was worried he was rebounding/would dump me to go back to her if she ever changed her mind, cause she broke up with him...I was definitely scared cause I liked him a lot and felt insecure, so thus I made a bad decision and did what I did to make myself feel better. It was a waiting for the other shoe to drop/too good to be true type thing.
I really hope this is a truly minor thing and he just needed some space to regroup himself and isn't talking to other people/looking at other options. It really bothered me that he was on Tinder...if he needed space, but is talking to other girls...I don't know. Again, I'm worried he won't come back/might be stringing me along or backburning me. It's been a week, and we had a whirlwind type thing with ridiculously good sex and insane comfortable vibes...I just wish he would miss me, like, now. I'm ready to rebuild and be good and show this was all a fluke, but I have to wait for him to reach out to me. I haven't messaged him in a week. I would like for him to miss me.

I trust if he changed his mind, he would tell me. I just feel boxed in. I don't want to move on with other guys should he find out and want to close the door forever but I also don't want to be heartbroken again... I'll keep on with the space and prayers...

A huge thank you to everyone who gave me advice. I got a text from him this morning, saying "Hey yamilette7410 🙂" I replied "Hey _____! What's up? 🙂" And he replied, "Nothing really, just laying in bed and I was thinking about you. How are you? How are your finals going??"

And we've been talking like friends since. I'm so relieved. and have definitely learned my lesson. Gonna take this slow as molasses and really build something strong and solid here. Again, a HUGE thank you to all the sags who gave me quality advice and reassurance about the situation.

No more social media BS 🙂

Haha! Definitely no more. I learned my lesson, and I'm keeping this one off social media!

I'm unsure whether or not to unblock his group of friends or whatever. I guess that decision will come to me when it's ready as well, aha!

I can relate tho. My feelings swing from love to hate like a wrecking ball.

Same here!

Today we kinda briefly touched on what happened, and I got a more detailed explanation. He said "...I didn't exactly need time from you, but just time not in a relationship. At least until I get settled and away from everything here on campus. I hate having to deal with the fact that me and my ex have mutual friends and the fact that I have to see them on a daily basis. Just kinda can't wait until I'm on my own this summer, I've been going through some stuff too."

The issue was he needed space to kinda cope with the drama I unfortunately caused. I'm glad I did give him the space, even though it was hard sometimes.

I thought this guy was me for a sec! Ha

SagSunGemMoon89! Haha, no, the Sag I'm dealing with has no idea about the zodiac at all, honestly. He wouldn't be bothered to hang around these parts. While he did come back around, it led to a new problem which I made a new thread about.

YellowSubmarine, it's hard, I had such a hard time. Like I said above, while he did come back, he just disappeared on me again, and I'm not handling it well. I talked about it in a different thread.