Need Advise - Scorpio Husband Is A Compulsive Liar (Page 2)

Posted by 7thHouse

Posted by MrsElleCappysnatch

Posted by nicole1988

Posted by MrsElleCappysnatch

The only time I would lie about my finances would be if I didnt trust the person I was lying to.

I would give numerous opportunities for them to show me they are trustworthy and could contribute and comprehend.

If that became unproductive, I would just remove them from that conversation all together.

I dont think he trusts you.

You have been removed from the discussion because it is probably exhausting for him.

Signed,

Scorpio Sun

Cardinal Moon (Aries)

Libra Venus

The issue isn’t that he doesn’t trust me. The issue is he doesn’t like me telling him what to do, also I still fail to understand why he lied the first time about his salary. Everything was perfect but he ruined it with that lies and since then these trust issues started on my end. If I just don’t react and let him keep doing what he wants then there will be no problem.

Then if you know the issue, why are you here?

If joint family bills are being paid and he isnt doing anything illegal or jeopardizing your credit, it really is none of your business.

You have way too much unhealthy interest in his income. I dont quite understand why. Well, I do, just look at your placements....but it is your issue, not his.

You are waving bait in front of us to tailor answers from us. "compulsive liar" and "I wont have kids with him" is to gain sympathy.

At the end of the day, it is still none of your business.

Phew. Just when I thought I was the only one who thought the same. Its not a popular opinion but.... It is somehow the reality. I do agree that her hubby thinks it's none of her business so long as he has done his share of responsibilities.

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I agree with these two ladies. Sometimes it’s best to not be too nosy in the other’s finances as long as all other financial priories and responsibilities have been met. Every relationship has different dynamics, not everyone is lucky to have total financial transparency with each other. Yes that’s ideal but so is never ending up with a cheater. We can’t all have it all.

I also agree with you not involving your parents. It could make him have more resentment towards you. Give him space and time to come back to you and see what he says and guide things in a way to encourage him to talk to you about how he thinks you two should move forward from all this reasonably.

Posted by nicole1988

Posted by sagaciouscorp

Posted by nicole1988

Posted by Undine

Posted by nicole1988

Posted by Undine

How could he lose 100K in 3-5 years, but be debt free and also maintain a joint account while you were seemingly happy with his contribution? He must be earning a lot, then.

If you want to save for the future, you need two joint accounts, not one. One for paying bills and meals. Another one for savings, and the best way to get a return from it in years to come, is by buying stock in good and very good companies. Google apple/alphabet/amazon share price. They are now in free downfall due to coronavirus, from a huge peak a few months ago, so you may want to wait a few weeks/months to stabilize before buying. You need to learn by reading about the stock market, and fast!

What he was doing was not investing, but gambling. This is an addiction, and you need to be able to keep track of it, since he may get into debt in the future.

Previous "lying" is the least of your worries now. All gambles are in denial. Please do not use your energy screaming about it. Of course he "earned less", if you consider the loss he was making!!!! You should have behaved like an adult and taken your part of responsibility for filling in tax forms every f-king year, as a minimum.

Now you've lost your innocence...it's not too late to learn and take a firm stance, if you want to save your marriage and your finances.

He pays for our home mortgage, pays the bills, I pay for other household stuff. Then we put money in the joint account. I don’t earn as much as him. I believe he lies he earns less so that he doesn’t have to contribute more (maybe because he thinks it’s unfair as I am not earning as much as he does) and also so that he can satisfy his trading addiction.

His Earnings=salary+stock trading balance. If his stock balance is negative, he DOES earn less. You should ask him "how much is your salary?" instead. If what he says does not much the payslip, then you could claim he lied!

By the way, he is not obliged to contribute more than you to a common savings account. If he is paying the mortgage on his own and the bills, is the house on his name or both of you? Otherwise it looks like he is contributing A LOT more than you. You are far too entitled!

I have NEVER even asked him to contribute more to the joint account. This is his own guilt. I only ask him to save more for the long term and especially when we are wanting to start a family. He can keep those savings in his individual account. I have no issues with that, but don’t blow it away like this on trading and then lie and hide it. In fact it’s always him advising me about my finances but he doesn’t like me advising him coz he feels he doesn’t need any advise.

You defined his investments as blowing off money

Are you guys equal in social economic

Maybe he came from rich family n this is what they do. While u are more conservative

The irony is - I am the one who belongs to a very affluent family. Even though my father is rich I always saw him saving for the long term and investing wisely. He is a hardcore family man and wanted to save for the kids, for retirement, for his wife. He always said “only a fool parts with his money”

My husband comes from an extremely humble background, hence it surprises me he can make sure much in losses and be ok about it because even I can’t do that even though I come from a rich family.

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I have a similar background, I get it but look, I think you shouldn’t worry about this. After all he made it this far in becoming financially successful without your help. He knows what he’s doing. Have faith in him even after his stupid losses and trust that once kids come into the picture he will naturally worry about their expenses and future investments. Trust that if he hasn’t personally financially neglected you, he won’t with his child. Men sometimes need time for an actual other human being to come into existence before they realize they need to change certain things in their ways like gambling less money.

Posted by nicole1988

Posted by sagaciouscorp

Posted by nicole1988

Posted by Undine

Posted by nicole1988

Posted by Undine

How could he lose 100K in 3-5 years, but be debt free and also maintain a joint account while you were seemingly happy with his contribution? He must be earning a lot, then.

If you want to save for the future, you need two joint accounts, not one. One for paying bills and meals. Another one for savings, and the best way to get a return from it in years to come, is by buying stock in good and very good companies. Google apple/alphabet/amazon share price. They are now in free downfall due to coronavirus, from a huge peak a few months ago, so you may want to wait a few weeks/months to stabilize before buying. You need to learn by reading about the stock market, and fast!

What he was doing was not investing, but gambling. This is an addiction, and you need to be able to keep track of it, since he may get into debt in the future.

Previous "lying" is the least of your worries now. All gambles are in denial. Please do not use your energy screaming about it. Of course he "earned less", if you consider the loss he was making!!!! You should have behaved like an adult and taken your part of responsibility for filling in tax forms every f-king year, as a minimum.

Now you've lost your innocence...it's not too late to learn and take a firm stance, if you want to save your marriage and your finances.

He pays for our home mortgage, pays the bills, I pay for other household stuff. Then we put money in the joint account. I don’t earn as much as him. I believe he lies he earns less so that he doesn’t have to contribute more (maybe because he thinks it’s unfair as I am not earning as much as he does) and also so that he can satisfy his trading addiction.

His Earnings=salary+stock trading balance. If his stock balance is negative, he DOES earn less. You should ask him "how much is your salary?" instead. If what he says does not much the payslip, then you could claim he lied!

By the way, he is not obliged to contribute more than you to a common savings account. If he is paying the mortgage on his own and the bills, is the house on his name or both of you? Otherwise it looks like he is contributing A LOT more than you. You are far too entitled!

I have NEVER even asked him to contribute more to the joint account. This is his own guilt. I only ask him to save more for the long term and especially when we are wanting to start a family. He can keep those savings in his individual account. I have no issues with that, but don’t blow it away like this on trading and then lie and hide it. In fact it’s always him advising me about my finances but he doesn’t like me advising him coz he feels he doesn’t need any advise.

You defined his investments as blowing off money

Are you guys equal in social economic

Maybe he came from rich family n this is what they do. While u are more conservative

The irony is - I am the one who belongs to a very affluent family. Even though my father is rich I always saw him saving for the long term and investing wisely. He is a hardcore family man and wanted to save for the kids, for retirement, for his wife. He always said “only a fool parts with his money”

My husband comes from an extremely humble background, hence it surprises me he can make sure much in losses and be ok about it because even I can’t do that even though I come from a rich family.

click to expand

Hy ex husband (Libra with Taurus moon) was from a humble family and a stock market addict. When I married him, I knew nothing about it. Soon after, his favourite discussion topics or TV programmes he was watching for hours, were all about the stock market.

He lost more than 100K within a few weeks, during the crash of 2008. No, he was not OK with it, but blamed anyone but himself! His goal in life was to get rich in his 40ies, so he doesn't have to hold a job any longer, and live from his trading obsession. What is yours aiming for...?