ageism - discuss

i am 44. i don't have a problem with that. i refuse to be suckered into all the anti-ageing propaganda that is commercialised throughout the media. what the hell is wrong with a woman getting older? i can remember when i was in a french class at school and we had to write about life in the year 2000. we all looked at eachother with horror - we will be 35!!!!! - and the stories we wrote contained hovering zimmer frames and old folks' homes with a revolving view.

now i'm way past that number and i resent being made to feel that i have to fight this process with all the surgery there is to offer, otherwise.....................otherwise what exactly? i may have a wrinkle or something— OMG!!! SHOOT ME NOW - MY LIFE IS OVER!

why all this competition between younger women and older women? we are all women aren't we— we shouldn't be scared of getting older and we certainly shouldn't be scared that our looks will 'fade' and that we must, must, MUST inject every deadly disease known to man into our faces just to prevent...............WHAT EXACTLY—?

the worst thing is that the pressure comes from other women! i am sure men would rather grow old with someone whose navel wasn't on their forehead cos of all the facelifts or whose faces are so taught that they remain expressionless for the later years—

one thing. growing older is MUCH better than the alternative - DEATH!


and another thing. why don't men have this pressure?

Evan, I don't see you hitting on Roxanne? why is that evan?

you make evan sound like a trollop! there are actually some guys on dxp who don't have to hit on everything female with a pulse and he is one of them, just as there are plenty of women on dxp who aren't here to get hit on either.

when you have confidence, it comes from within and is not measured by your perceived attractiveness. there is more to life than that despite the media's attempts to suggest otherwise.

i personally think that cosmetic surgery makes you look older in any case and it also shows massive insecurities in a person. i know of some women who started having botox when they were in their late 20s. you can see when women have had work done in any case. the key to youthfulness, like evan said, comes from your state of mind more than the packaging.

i just think it's sad that there is a mass misconception that getting older and looking your age is something to fear cos as i said in the OP, it's a whole lot better than the alternative.

besides which, i like my eyebrows where they are and would hate to have that permanently surprised look that some women my age have LOL!!

When I was younger I lacked confidence and experience...now in the middle of my life, I have all the confidence in the world... WHY?

Because through my experiences in life I've learnt I really dont give too much of a damn what people think of me, all that matters is that I think enough of me and my actions. With this is a beautiful person both inside and outside and I don't feel the need to compete with a beautiful younger model who hasn't yet grown with experience!

I don't think anything is wrong with aging of either gender.


However, Ro, I have heard you come in here through the years and make comment about people .. such as your hair-dresser stinks, people's sense of clothes and style being hideous, your aversion to fat people .... etc.



So, though, I would have nothing against you being a little defensive of women in your age group since you are currently living this .... I would oppose to you having a right to defend yourself if at one time when you were younger, that you were just like the ones in here who have something to say about old women.


If you throw stones at the elderly, as I'm sure you did because you throw stones at the way people look now who are different than you .... then this takes away any credibility you have to save grace for women in your age group.

Posted by nihilist
wow, irish i would neva have guessed ur age

me too. I was completely surprised.

Posted by irishlibra___
is this a good thing ?

no difference. life sucks in all cases.

getting cold? I have it behind me. For ten days I was out of business. A good me time. I enjoyed it.

I always say life sucks. I said with 9, then 19, 29, 39 whatever... it is just because I am a littel lazy with life. I just want to have good parts of its sandwich. the other parts I want to throw them away.

Posted by irishlibra___
it is the worst when not feeling well,,,,,everything looks the worst

Irish,
it is only the good old winterly "getting cold". I can't get why you insist on seeing it a bad thing.

I had it the last 12 days. I liked it. When I left home, the sun was shining, all went its way to work while I was stepping one by one. I liked this laziness, the slowness.

I could not sleep for three nights until my sister gave me strong medicine for sleeping deeply.
maybe you need a Virgo sister at this stage. who knows?

I could buy one for you when I'm shopping. do you want a sister or a brother?

hi nihli

Irish my dear!

Love can happen at any age. People get married to the love of their lives when they are in their 90s. There will always be hope for you my dear, especially as you have such a warm and loving spirit. Keep shining your light Irish and eventually someone will see it, even if "the one" doesn't, you will make a tremendous impact on the lives of those around you. All for the better.

IL: chickensoup. all you need.

i've just been so pre-menstrual these last few days and i always have a confidence dip - you get the same when you're coming down with something - it'll pass 🙂

p-angel: yeah, maybe you are right. in fact i KNOW that i used to find older women funny when i was younger - how they thought they could even begin to compete with younger flesh. and i really don't like fat people. i'm not randomly rude towards them and i would never openly insult someone (unless they asked for it) - but i am a total fatist and dxp is the only place i would voice that opinion. my hairdresser DID have terrible BO and so i told her about it - so at least i wasn't posting stuff about her behind her back.

i've had spats with people here and stuff for sure but it doesn't take away any right to comment on the 'stereotype' that i'm sposed to belong to does it?

IL: chickensoup. all you need.

i've just been so pre-menstrual these last few days and i always have a confidence dip - you get the same when you're coming down with something - it'll pass 🙂

p-angel: yeah, maybe you are right. in fact i KNOW that i used to find older women funny when i was younger - how they thought they could even begin to compete with younger flesh. and i really don't like fat people. i'm not randomly rude towards them and i would never openly insult someone (unless they asked for it) - but i am a total fatist and dxp is the only place i would voice that opinion. my hairdresser DID have terrible BO and so i told her about it - so at least i wasn't posting stuff about her behind her back.

i've had spats with people here and stuff for sure but it doesn't take away any right to comment on the 'stereotype' that i'm sposed to belong to does it?

im thinking of every important relationship that ive had and wish i knew more to do better....i havent felt like this in a while


I understand that irish ... I feel that way too. Its so hard when you want so badly to walk into the right situation, but it ends up being wrong. Its like a a bunch of gift wrapped presents -- the look so nice on the outside and things seem promising as you take off the ribbons and papers but once you open the boxes, its nothing at all what you need nor want.


The only difference is that you can't return humans to the 'store' they came from.

I'm not sure if that made sense hahaha but it did to me.

(((Irish)))

I wanna bundle you into a big blanket, make you tea, and let you have a good cry. I have felt the way you are discribing many, many times. It always passes.

Be gentle with yourself.

my daughter is an aqua...you know i really think that some signs have it easier..i mean emotionalwise

my two girl friends are Aqua Sun. I can see what you say.

Posted by DwellingOnMove

my daughter is an aqua...you know i really think that some signs have it easier..i mean emotionalwise

my two girl friends are Aqua Sun. I can see what you say.

click to expand

The grass is always greener...

The grass is always greener...

I Aqua moon, so I say this is true too, but thats all that I am, an Aqua moon haha. My stupid Mars is on the cusp of sensitivity and that gets me everytime.

im still sick, so that might be why too and i have a new puppy and neighbors and landlord is complaining and maybe going to make me move!!!....i dont want to get rid of the puppy, i dont know what to do, yet again!!

I do not want to manipulate you (or I do not want that you think so) and life is random itself too. but look what I found on Cafeastrology site:

The Sun is in Pisces from February 18-March 20.
When the Sun is in Pisces, we are guided by altruistic feelings. We are less active, and more motivated by our instincts. A "what will be, will be" attitude reigns, and we are guided by a sense of universal correlations. Pisces rules empathy, selfless love, devotion, and wisdom. Its shadow side rules self-pity, a feeling of being victimized by life, passivity, and elusiveness.

at the same time Venus in Aries makes us being active when it comes to new love affairs.

I love aging. I truly do. I don't miss any earlier years, they were good while I was going through them but every step forward it's plain amazing to me. The wisdom that comes with aging, I wouldn't change for the world. I look forward to be fifty for some reason, I think it's going to be great!

i know aquas have emotions....

of course they have. as human they must.
only some signs dive in ocean of emotions, while some others stay on the dry floor and touch the wattery stuff.

Posted by Rays Heart
I love aging. I truly do. I don't miss any earlier years, they were good while I was going through them but every step forward it's plain amazing to me. The wisdom that comes with aging, I wouldn't change for the world. I look forward to be fifty for some reason, I think it's going to be great!

Well, fifty is nifty...well sort of. You are calm and know yourself, but you wish you had this knowledge when you were 25!

We all age, even you youngin's are aging each minute, so just accept and live in each moment and do not spend too much energy looking back or ahead as you have no control over what has already happened, or what is yet to come. Carpe Diem.

Posted by irishlibra___
'Carpe Diem'.....i should make this my new motto

ive so been in the doldrums lately....waiting for someone/something to pull me out, but i see that i will have to be the one to do that

im finding myself thinking...really what is the point of it all— maybe im in a depression and i should take some pills (a lot of people do, i think, so why cant i?)....then instead of feeling bad about everything and trying to figure out why....ill just wake up smiling like a goon....

Perhaps you are going through the "change of life"? I really believe we are responsible for our own happiness or misery for that matter. Everyone has down days that can seem to stretch on and on sometimes. My personal therapy is to go sit on a beach, alone, and process whatever is weighing me down. You need that solitude and a sanctuary place to gain perspective and instead of dwelling on negative thoughts, count your blessings and focus on those things that you have that others do not. I know for all the things we think are so bad, there are many out there that have it worst.

Screw the pills, a nice bottle of wine some soothing music or the rhythmic sounds of the ocean will relax you. When you are peace inside...that is true happiness.

Hope you feel better.

I like you just the way you are.