break up

I'm not writing for advice, just writing to write & share my experience I guess. My scorp & I broke up a little over a week ago. Funny thing is a week prior to that he finally said he was "madly" in love with me. I don't really understand how someone can say they're in love with you, especially after they've said they'd never say it unless they meant it, but then turn around & dump you.

So what was the reason given for the break-up? There wasn't one, not really just the whole "I'm confused" excuse. Blah! if you claim to be in love with someone then where is the confusion? Well I gave him his space for a few days then went to go pick up my belongings. He comes moping out like his puppy just died to give me my things, I kept it short & sweet. Just said thanks & bye. I get home & go through the bag & in it is a note.....

"I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing, I feel lost & confused without you, I can't stop thinking about how much fun we've had & it kills me to know we won't be able to do those things anymore. I still want to help you in life, don't forget I loved you & still do"

WTF!?!? at that point I became confused! If your sad, lonely, lost & you love someone why would you leave them, why put yourself through all of that? He continued to communicate with me through text, I was just giving him his space to figure out what he wanted. Until that is he sent me a text asking me what kind of friends I wanted to be. LOL Puuhhhlleeeez! he immediatly sent another text that said..."sorry bad idea" Yeah he got that right, I told him he needed to get to stepping. He clearly never loved me if all he was concerned about was rather or not we could continue to have sex.

I really don't get Scorpio guys at all. Nothing about this break-up made any sense to me

Awwww


I don't like to hear about break-ups. 😢

Yeah I don't either. Especially when they envolve me! LOL O'well his loss I guess

You're just a stupid, annoying whore anyway. His Win.

I dunno. Some people are just stupid like that. Men especially. 😛


I work with Scorp men. I dunno. One of them, I don't even think he deserves the woman he's with now.

Don't mind AngryDouche. He's the resident clown of dxp.

if you only knew angry scorp LOL

He performs this awesome trick where he pretends to be completely sane.

I'm familiar Scorp Superior 🙂 I haven't posted here recently but I've been around long enough to know lol

Oh don't ask me. I think they're just Men.

The one I was seeing suggested we go on holiday together, then WHOOSH! - off he went. 'Too much pressure'.

He HAS got loads going on in his life, so that's okay - but... the holiday idea was all him, no pressure from me at all.

And he STILL flirts when we meet.

Pah!!!!!

lol I think you just have to try to see the funny side. But it can take a while!

How long were you together, CanTaur?

yeah maybe but at this point there is absolutley nothing funny about this situation

hmmm about 6 months.......6 VERY intense months 🙂

That's not bad. 6 months isn't very long.


If you had more time invested- like, say...years- then I would've recommended taking more drastic measures. 😛

well, to be quite honest and fair, i don't think it's scorp men so much as it is immature men. they come in all signs and decans. 😉

Hey Ferdy 🙂

Yeah it does suck. Well let's see.....he was stressed with work & school & ofcourse it's hunting season so his priorities were elsewhere. I lost my job & have been trying to get back into school so I dunno? The stress between the both of us was just not a winning combo I suppose? At any rate, I'd be fine & able to accept it if not for the back & forth thing he tried to do..... " It kills me to picture life without you" but then "I just wanna be friends" but then " I can't sit back & watch you start a relationship with someone else" & " I'm in love with you promise you won't leave me" WTF!!!!!!! that's what got to me, it's fine if your feelings changed but don't lead me on ya know? So after about a week I just said look, please don't contact me anymore I can't do this with you Sorry 😢

"If you had more time invested- like, say...years- then I would've recommended taking more drastic measures."

Yes but in the intense drama filled world of Scorps 6 months FEELS like 6 years LOL

""I think its more like immature women who fall for them despite knowing what son of bitches those guys are..""


This may be true in some cases.

Honestly.....I was single for 4 years prior to dating him & I did that for a reason, I wanted to be alone & work on myself & I wanted to be choosy....He came along & said a bunch of stuff I wanted to hear & things were really great for the 1st few months, the last 2 months, with the stresses of life kinda took a tole I guess. I dunno? all I know is, I was trying to be there & be supportive but he threw in the towel

I agree with Leo, I don't need or want someone who runs away when times get tough. I need someone who's gonna be strong & stand next to me. Life is nothing but a bunch of challanges & stresses.

Hi Cantaur, I'm sorry to hear about your break-up, but I actually think it's a good sign that he is just freaking out about the committment right now. I have learned that when a man tells you he loves you it is not the time to try to pull him closer. It is the time to step away and give him some breathing room, but at the same time let him know that you care. Tricky little thing to pull that one off.

Take my advice. Don't make it easy for him. Don't be his friend. Let him really know what it is to be without you in his life. The love of my life pulled this stuff on me when we first went out at about the 8th month mark. One day he told me he loved me and the next day he told me he didn't want a girlfriend, but he still wanted to date me and still date other people. I told him to go to hell. About a week later he decided that he really missed me, but wasn't ready for a committment, but still wanted me in his life as friends. I couldn't do it and I told him it was too hard and not to contact me ever again. Then about a month later he was so completely love sick about me that he came back and begged me back and asked what it would take for me to take him back. I told him it would take a committment to the relationship. I just meant for him to not date other people but he took it literally and asked me to marry him. We then got engaged and moved in together right away. We were together for a total of 5 years. We were engaged 3 different times, but he would chicken out every time. He really did love me but he REALLY wasn't ready for the committment. I had to be the one to finally break it off for good because he wouldn't. He wouldn't leave and he wouldn't committ. Well guess what? 13 years later he is now back in my life. He never got over us and I'm meeting with him for a cup of coffee next week. I have no idea what will happen, but I'm just too curious not to find out what the universe is trying to tell me. This is happening for some reason even if it is just permanant closure. Let him go until he is ready for a committment. If it is meant to be, he will definitely be back. Especially if there is a way for him to keep tabs on you and know about your life.

totally agree with virgogotme

He just sounds like he's scard because life is so screwed up right now.

Been there, done that .... it's nice to have a person who understands.


Hopefully, in the future .. you both will have a person who understands you and will aid each other rather than take personal offense.

"stress between the both of us"


Tough ... unfortunately, most people just react emotionally with a personal offensive position during these times, instead of attempting to understand that life is frightening when things fuck up outside of the relationship. So, because of this, they take it out on the relationship.

What would be fortunate, would be for two people to not take these curve balls personally, so it can be worked through together, holding each other at bay from their demons ... that's how two people learn to truly trust.

"WTF!?!? at that point I became confused! If your sad, lonely, lost & you love someone why would you leave them, why put yourself through all of that?"


It is confusing .. it's confusing because people take it personally to mean something against them specifically, while recognizing that love actually exists .... puzzling, how could a person do that. Doesn't make sense.

The answer is "lost".

When someone is lost, CanTur, they don't even know what they are doing, where they are going, what life is suppose to mean, why, what's the purpose. It happens to all of us at some point in time.

A person trying to relate to another who has found theirselves at a crossroad in life and doesn't know where to turn ... finds it very hard to carry the other across the sand.

To love each other means ... sometimes, there's only one set of footprints, yet, they are still together.

P Angel is dead on.

"The answer is "lost".

When someone is lost, CanTur, they don't even know what they are doing, where they are going, what life is suppose to mean, why, what's the purpose."

My ex says he was lost and living in fear for his whole life and had no tools to help him get out of it. He has been working on his issues for years now and he says that inner peace just set in one day when he least expected it and it hasn't left him since. He had a child and an unexpected death of his father since we broke up. He says that those two things are what finally changed him. He is someone who could never committ, but could never be alone. Now he has been pretty much alone for the last 6 years and he says he really likes it. Even though he has not really been able to committ to a relationship fully yet he has really stepped up to the committment to the child which I didn't think he would have been capable of. I thought he would only be able to be the fun dad but when it came to responsibility he would fail. I was wrong. He is a full on Dad who has done everything from changing diapers to going to parent teacher meetings and has his child 4 days a week and accepts all the responsibilities that goes with that. He seems to be fearful still of a relationship though. He married the woman who had his child out of obligation and of course that was a nightmare and he doesn't seem to be in any hurry to marry again and he has been divorced for 6 years. My concern is that now he has gone in the other direction too much and will be unable to find balance with his aloneness and get too comfortable being alone. My challenge in this whole thing is to not think too much into the future and potential problems that may arise if we decided to try a relationship again. I'm really working on seeing this relationship newly. If I compare too much to the past it is doomed before it even starts. He says that he finds comfort in the fact that I know the old him because he wants someone that knows him completely, but that he hopes that I will also get to know the new him and believe that he has changed and like that person that he has become. We are both being so very cautious and trying to take it so slow because the emotions that we both still feel are so overwhelming. The wheels have been set in motion now though and it is too late to turn back now. We must now see it through to the end no matter what that may be. We can only leave it up to the universe Cantaur. No ot

Thanks for the responses ladies, sorry I've been MIA so I have to bring this back from the dead. Well I hafta say I appreciate all the feedback especially from P-A & GS 🙂 Trust me that I know how it feels to be confused & lost, apart from this breakup I'm going through some life altering changes that have left me feeling lost & confused but it is in these times that I look to the people whom I know love me to support me. none the less I also know that no two people are alike & though I may need to draw people near, maybe he needs to push people away.

GS you said "Take my advice. Don't make it easy for him. Don't be his friend. Let him really know what it is to be without you in his life." I'd love to follow your advice but I find that extremely difficult to do because his Grandfather is in the ICU & is not expected to survive much longer. I find it nearly impossible to walk away from anyone but especially him in a time like this, but in doing that I've left myself hanging by a thread.......he knows this too. He knows that I'm not going to walk away, not right now so essentially I'm at his disposal. I'm torn between walking away which I know would hurt him & would hurt myself & make me feel like a shitty human being & Staying, which gives him opportunity to have me YET not have me & leaves me feeling a bit used.

Either way, I see no winning outcome. I went to see him a few days ago. He said he was nervous & shaking all day at the prospect of seeing me, said he was more nervous to see me that day then he was the 1st time he met me. We had a good talk about what had been going on in our lives. He cried when we talked about his grandpa. I was able to tell him some things I should have told him during our relationship, about how I appreciated all of the things he did for me through-out our relationship. I never showed thanks like I should have. I remember reading about Taurus/Scorp relationships awhile ago & it said that the relationship would be "life changing" Truer words have never been spoken! I'm on a completely different path 6 months after meeting him, a better path & I owe a large part of that to him & his encouragment, At any rate, I told him these things, he cried & I felt better......I felt closure & was ready to move on. I didn't expect to hear from him after I left...atleast not for a long while, unless ofcourse his grandpa passed. (cont.)

(cont.) The next day he sent me a text that said he'd just read a blog that I wrote, that he was even more proud of me then ever before, that I was stronger than I realized.

Like I said, I'm trying to distance myself, thought about not responding to the text but ended up sending in response...Thanks, I appreciate that. Yesterday was Thanksgiving so I sent everyone in my phone a Happy Thanksgiving text that said I'm thankful for your friendships, your appreciated & loved. He texted back Your loved too. No one else texted back that I was loved too LOL at this point I feel as if I'm grasping at straws. You see why this is not healthy for me. BUT

How do you let go of someone you love when you KNOW for certain that they are going through difficulty in life? How do you just turn around & walk away?

CanTur, I know this sounds insane, but I have found a pattern in my experience with a scorp man that when they fall hard for you and lose control they hate it. Yes he told me these exact words and yes they Really are confused. Confused about why they no longer have control over their overly emotional self. If he really loves you he will be back. THEY ALWAYS COME BACK OR NEVER LEAVE WHEN THEY LOVE YOU. Even when you are no longer involved with them. Trust me, I know.

"When someone is lost, CanTur, they don't even know what they are doing, where they are going, what life is suppose to mean, why, what's the purpose. It happens to all of us at some point in time."

VERY TRUE!

"How do you let go of someone you love when you KNOW for certain that they are going through difficulty in life? How do you just turn around & walk away?"

Time, only time sweety. I have been there with a scorp myself.