CHEATING: WHY IS IT HAPPENING SO MUCH— (Page 2)

""I see what u mean that mon. reduces the spread, but I don't think its significant enough to even mention, let alone to assume it has prevented us from being extinct, or can prevent that.""

my suppositions were transcendent. 2 steps back, look at the forest.

""Tell me what you think me issues are.""


I'm not one to repeat myself. You know what they are. You have to live with it, not me. I would suggest seeking professional help and perhaps spiritual guidance.

""Now, an educated and intellegent lady such as yourself shouldn't grandstand, when one is asked to elaborate on claims. And please do not try to defame me, just answer the question.""

Nice try. I don't fall into bait traps, I build them.

I told you before that I believe you suffer from mental illness. That is not to defame you. It is my honest opinion.

I think the media has a huge affect on the way we percieve marriage as well. Not everything we hear on the radio or see on tv mimics reality, even if it is reported as such.

It is the question of, "Does the media influence or reflect the popular culture?"

""It's weird how I first here this mentioned on a public messageboard, but never when we talked in private.""

Your memory deficits aren't my problem. You would be able to search it if I hadn't had the notso account deleted.

Does anyone else remember when I suspected Branh was an Aspie? It was on the Pisces board, iirc.

""You are clearly trying to defame me at this point, but it isn't going to work.""

lol Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to do. Because I care about your public internet image. lol You caught me red-handed.

""but you certainly aren't as cool, calm, and stable as you would have would like to persuade yourself to believe""


haha ok.


someone's mad. lmao

you're totally pulling a primegen on me. not gonna work, buddy.

""No, I am not autistic, I'm pretty sure of that. I also don't meet the requirement of someone who has high functioning autism.""


Well, I believe you have a co-occuring disorder actually. Asperberg's in combination with depression. People with mental health issues often do not understand the nature of their illness, because they lack self-awareness, and tend to be in denial.

""No, I'm not pulling a primegen, whatever that means. I'm just saying that you are a control freak, and don't seem to be willing to engage in situations unless you have some control over the outcome. I bet you won't get into a relationship unless you were somehow guaranteed some sort of monogamy from a partner. Which isn't possible. I don't see you as much of a risk taker, and I think this is needed to progress in life. I also see your views are highly plausible moralistic theories, but little else. You aren't willing to put yourself into situations where your theories and beliefs are tested. One can conjure up any set of beliefs and stick to them if there is no opposing viewpoint. And that's the way I see you, you're just too scared to make any sort of move, because you're too worried about the consequences.""

Yet another repeat. For god's sake, at least restructure your comments. It's like you'r copying & pasting them all!

Honestly, who cares what you think? Unlike you, I know who I am.

""Am I the only one who has noticed that Brandon argues his " you need to take more risks" at people who actually HAVE taken risks unlike him?""


lol true.

""I doubt you've taken the sort of risk I have. I mean overall.""


- hahahaHA! you've got to be kidding me.

Branh, you're describing yourself, hon. You are a sad man. I don't know how you can stand to live the life you lead. I can understand it being depressing. I'm depressed just imagining it, so living it must suck major balls.

Continue your analysis, please....it is amusing, and I enjoy the personal attention. 🙂

""And you think these women should somehow emulate the women in the bars that YOU take "risks" with.""

- lol

""I have also noticed you usually make your "you need to take more risks" crap speech to young women in their early to mid twenties who just finished getting their degrres and have worked hard for it. Or working towards it.""

- I've noticed that too.

""Risk I've taken off the top of my head. I left college because I was bored, got a shitty job at HP, making crummy pay. That's a huge risk, because it would have been much easier to be bored out of my mind in college.


I left the highest pay job I've ever had because I was tired of the politics and narrow direction of the company. this in midst of a recession, and I have bills to pay.""


You provided examples of sheer stupidity, not risk.

aw, shakalaka. the way you feel about love is the same way i do. i think people need to feel that before they can understand.

Branh cannot admit that he is a very jealous-hearted person with very low self-esteem. He goes out of his way to put down women with great potential. Yet, he calls himself a man. A real man is secure enough within himself not to have to compare himself to women who are several years younger than him.

""I'm saying that instead of analyzing relationships, you should get into them. I don't care if it is just for a date or two. Just use it as an experiment to be YOURSELF and see how it works out. You'll go through a lot of guys, but you'll find that long term relationship.""

...this coming from the man who buys whores and gets attached to them. and fantasizes for months on end about a waitress he never once asked out on a date. and obsesses over a one-night-stand.

Branh, you went through 3 yrs of school and decided to quit. You had ONE YEAR left, out of four....

You are jealous of sb. Plain and simple.

how many times is he going to say the same thing? just hyperlink us to your 20,000 other posts.

oh my GOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. please stop insulting each other on dxp. it's unbecoming...and i say that because i

btw, sb, that wasn't directed toward the post you just made.

"he didn't fail 1000 times, he just found 1000 ways not to make a light bulb."

Well sb, you don't fail 1000 times to suceed in life. 🙂

Persistance is a good thing, but persistance in the wrong direction is pure idiocy.

I am with branh on this, there is alot of truth in what he said about experimentation. If you do nothing in life, nothing will happen. And you spend th rest of your days regretting what you could have done.

What surpised me though is that i did not know virgo are rsik takers.

By experimentation I do not mean you sleep with every guy you meet.

But if you find a guy you really like, don't be afraid of rejection and get involved in a relationship.

"I strongly believe that people can cheat n love u just as much as they did before they cheated..in fact, in some cases, it can strengthen ur bond...but that's a completely diff. topic lol alternative life style s which I couldn't see myself participating in, but I wholeheartedly understand."

Hmmmm .... I have to disagree totally. There's no way someone can cheat and still love the person they're with. Nope, if so, it's a 'selfish' kind of love -- there's a fear of losing what you have, but you still want something different.

I have my own logic on this whole 😉. No, I refuse to believe that the man who has cheated on me, still loves me. He may care for me and feel comfortable with the relationship, but that's it.

If two people go by your psychology then there isnt real love between them in the first place.

*High-fives Shaka*

Shaka you sound far too na?ve to call yourself a Virgo.


True love? lol


How about people yu can tlerate mre than others. True love isn't real, that's just stuff for little girls and their romance novels.

OMG!!! Brandon 😢 Okay, I rarely do this but ..... BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

No way, Brandon true love does exist and I'm a capricorn, so what's my problem 😉

Most people are so self-centered -- many are not aware of how self-centered they are -- as a result, many potential relationships do not develope. End of story

I personally expect the highest form of love I can get from the person I marry (Im not expecting perfect love because that isnt human, but I do expect the type of fidelity that is contained in the type of love I expect and Im able to give), because thats exactly what Im gonna give to that person, and in that love there is no place for thoughts like "trying to strenghen your bond by both cheating around"

Well said 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Above their carnal desires, people have free will, if you cant control your own body then you arent worth entering a faithful relationship.

Shaka, you are the MAN!!!!!!!!!

Self-control is something one must learn how to do, but ideally most adults are suppose to understand how to do this. However, self-control is something rarely taught by parents -- they want others to teach their children how to control themselves.

I have been in actual relationships and never felt the need to cheat. It takes me a heck of lot more time than normal to actually get into one, why the hell am I gonna cheat after all of that.

Same here ladyM 🙂

You are no more qualified to speak on relationships than I am. You present yourself as being far more mature than you actually are. Your issues go beyond lack of trust.

No, Brandon's mature alright 🙂 He just has his opinions. For crying out loud, if Brandon's not mature, then I'm a baby LOL!!!!!! With ALL the stuff I've gone through, I hardly would call myself a baby. Well, I am in my twenties, but I feel like I'm 43 LOL!!!!

you're totally pulling a primegen on me. not gonna work, buddy.

I ADORED that man 😢 Why did he leave!!! WHY!!! He greatly needed. I need to bring him back.

No, I'm not pulling a primegen, whatever that means. I'm just saying that you are a control freak, and don't seem to be willing to engage in situations unless you have some control over the outcome.

The Saggie I dated last spring was like that -- that's why things didn't last long LOL!!!

Well, I believe you have a co-occuring disorder actually. Asperberg's in combination with depression. People with mental health issues often do not understand the nature of their illness, because they lack self-awareness, and tend to be in denial.

SS ... that's mean ...

Give it time, CS.

You'll soon understand why SS said what she said.

But SB, you don't put someone out there like that. Brandon and I have spoken off the boards and I would never do anything like that. I don't care how upset I am with someone, if I know them personality, I will not blast them. Hahaha, hell we've had are arguements but so what? The whole "lets put him on blast" is soooo not my thing.

Nothing personal S.S. aka notso (I'm still shocked that you were notso) but we are just totally different birds.

"But SB, you don't put someone out there like that. Brandon and I have spoken off the boards and I would never do anything like that. I don't care how upset I am with someone, if I know them personality, I will not blast them. Hahaha, hell we've had are arguements but so what? The whole "lets put him on blast" is soooo not my thing."

It's a breach of trust.

Okay, now back to the topic:

Exactly ... I don't want to judge people on what they choose to do, if this is what they choose, well more power to them. What I have a problem with is people not being accountable for what they do and as soon as they fail they turn around and blame it on a higher power

Yes JD, most people want to blame "life" for puting them in their situation. When in fact, they need to take a look at themselves.

"I strongly believe that people can cheat n love u just as much as they did before they cheated..in fact, in some cases, it can strengthen ur bond..."

As for ^^^ THAT. I can only laugh at how pathetically naive some people can be.

Hahaha, I have a motto offline that I use when the situation fits it.

"I won't stab you in the back, I'll stab you in your forehead".

LOL!!!!!!! I have an Aqua moon 😛

If you noticed, Brandon was the one who started it.

Brandon is usually the one who blasts at people. There is nothing wrong with those people needing to defend themselves.

He is usually negative and demeaning to some people. If it spilled to the boards, its because he has made it so.


It's SS's choice how she wants to handle Brandon. And Brandon is no innocent victim either.

I'm not the one to argue a point -- I don't cross certain lines, that's just me. I'm not saying everyone else needs to follow that -- that's just me, and me alone.

Like I said, it's nothing personal against SS 🙂 Like everyone else, I've voiced my opinion, now I'm done with it. Over and out 😉

"Exactly ... I don't want to judge people on what they choose to do, if this is what they choose, well more power to them. What I have a problem with is people not being accountable for what they do and as soon as they fail they turn around and blame it on a higher power"

Completely agree, an ex of mine cheated on me a few years ago and let me tell you it did not strengthen the bond at all, everything I felt for him died in that instant. I could never have looked at him the same way after that. As JD said if someone doesn't want commitment fair enough, but they should at least be upfront about it.

I don't personally think being monogamous is even a choice when you're happy and in love with someone. I mean I was with a guy for 6 years and it was never a case of making a conscious decision not to cheat on him, I just didn't want anyone else in any capacity sexual, romantic or otherwise.

Fidelity is connected to integrity. Those who have a low threshold make poor decisions. Those who have a higher threshold, are more profound in their actions.

Simple as that

"once the feelings of being in love have faded, and the real test begins"

I know what you're saying MsP but I don't think it's about the love fading in most cases rather the spark, once the honeymoon period is over and you look at what's left. That's why I think a good solid friendship should form the basis of the relationship - similar goals in life etc. basically what Scorpionlady was saying a few pages back. If you're with someone you are not really compatible with other than sexually then once that spark has died you'll be left with nothing.

And keeping the spark alive in an otherwise good relationship should be fun anyway, it doesn't always have to be hard work!

Every relationship is a choice everyday. Everyday you choose to stay or go. Some days one chooses to go; then discovers should have stayed. My bad. Thus,the other one now has to decide to stay or go.

Ms.P that's the best way to be, if you're going to do it. Marriage is the most serious decision you'll ever make in your life. That people don't view it this way, and don't go into it with that kind of serious consideration baffles me. It's like they go in with the "ah well, we can divorce if it doesn't work out" mindset. This will ultimately subconsciously affect the relationship. It immediately labels it as "temporary".

I've also just seen too many perfectly good relationships ruined by marriage. lol

At present, I have no desire for it at all, but like you, I never say never. 😉

You just can't combat certain forces of nature, and there are some things that are completely out of your control.

I understand that B 🙂 But it's important to 'combat' yourself. People can be their own worst enemy in relationships. Most of the problems are caused by the people involved.