CHEATING: WHY IS IT HAPPENING SO MUCH— (Page 3)

I think the way to guarantee success is when both parties make the decision to "Be Married" before getting married. A lot of people don't make that decision until they have already been married for many years. When you know that there is no more choice in the matter and that person is family to you. It has to be a relationship like with a parent. Most people do not divorce a parent no matter how tough it gets. I will only marry someone who, like me, does not consider divorce an option no matter how tough it gets. When you both go into it like that I think you are less likely to do anything to mess it up like cheating because you know that the rest of your married life could be a living hell. You would much rather just focus on fixing the problems in your marriage. I am totally willing to do anything to compromise and make my partner happy and he better be willing to do the same for me or there will be no getting married for me. There has to be 100% commitment to that.

"You just can't combat certain forces of nature, and there are some things that are completely out of your control. Pointing out what you think is the reason why people divorce or cheat is an exercise in futility. Things can still go wrong, even with the right amount of vigilance and caution."

That's like saying the police should be abolished, because crime is gonna happen anyway.

Marriage holds no interest for me at the moment, but as SS said never say never.

To be honest I think a lot of people marry too quickly nowadays, without real consideration of what it means, usually due to external pressure from family friends etc.

I see it a lot here Branh, couples who are together for a few years are almost "expected" to tie the knot, like there's something wrong with them if they're not ready to make that level of commitment. I've seen first hand, the suggestion is made and it becomes some sort of fantasy - like an ideal. Next thing you know reality kicks in and it's suddenly not all it was cracked up to be.

I've seen loads of people I know get engaged after 6 months, which personally I think is pure madness. You're still in the process of getting to know someone at 6 months and even at a year...how the hell can you make a decision to commit to someone for the rest of your life after such a short space of time?

It baffles me. I mean if you're happy then why the rush? A combination of fear and insecurity in most cases I guess, either that or just plain stupidity.

"I just think relationships are too random to reliably instruct people on what to do and what not to do when entering one"

Random is the word I think, people change and so do their beliefs...you either change and grow with each other or you grow apart.

yeah...ive had arguements with people ive been close to because i dont really think i ever want to get married. i dont cheat though when i am in a relationship....i would much rather end it and move on. my parents never got a divorce and i witnessed staying together but not being truley happy.....my brother is two yrs older than me and he's been married 3 times already.....an example of just being lonely i think. then theres all the married women that i have had personal and physical knowledge of in my life that leads me to believe thier all just f-n nuts.lol

i think its because women want men with larger genitalia than who they married. can anyone back me up on this?

well i dont know. why do married men ask me to have sex with their wives sometimes?

"well i dont know. why do married men ask me to have sex with their wives sometimes?"

I think you have a promising career in porn.

well i was going to a couple of weeks ago when i went to atlanta. i'm from atlanta but i go to school in SC. i forgot to call them though.

there are a lot of couples in atlanta that want to bring a young virile guy into their bed.

I think I will agree with Brahn about girls settling with guys they don't have any chemistry with > they like the superficial affluence that's all and I wouldn't be surprized if these chicks are very pretty ones. If I was with these pretty girls the chemistry alone would be awesome lol although I would not be able to uh pamper them with affluence but that is their weakness not mine > my presumption is that they don't appreciate their basic blessings in life on a daily basis. It must be pretty f'in boring once you get up there then they dream and get moist for some blue collar hard nut. There is probably a socio cultural component to this also in that the girls don't feel open enough to associate with guys different from them and well this is another weakness > too bad for them not being able to think outside the box.

"but if you cannot be monogamous, why be in a relationship" there are all sorts of relationships, relationships don't solely consist of monogamy. Me personally I'm not interested in formally sanctioned relationships > boring as hell I'm not going here what so ever.

That could just be your ordinary Libra impulse to formally marry the man you love.

I like to be an idealist romantic, sensualist, idealistic lover, sexualist, erotisist, you name it. In my experience you Libra types run away too much.

will u marry me scorpioheart?

""No, Brandon's mature alright.""

- No, he isn't.

""SS ... that's mean ...""

It's true. I am not trying to be mean. He asked me, and I told him.

""But SB, you don't put someone out there like that. Brandon and I have spoken off the boards and I would never do anything like that. I don't care how upset I am with someone, if I know them personality, I will not blast them.""

- First of all, cappysweetie, I have not mentioned anything on this thread that was confidential. Each of my opinions given here have been said before, ON THE BOARDS, either as notso or as SS. I have not revealed anything about Brandon's personal accounts that he hasn't mentioned HIMSELF on dxp. Yes, I do suspect he has serious issues. What's so wrong with that? Mental health should not be so stigmatized. It should be acknowledged and addressed, keeping in mind that everyone has weaknesses.

Also, if you will notice, it was Brandon who called me out and challenged me to elaborate on my "issues" with him. Make no mistake, that was a calculated attempt to finagle me.

You have no idea why I said the things I did, and your defensiveness is misdirected. 🙂

""It's a breach of trust.""

Breach my ass.

Don't talk to me about breaching trust.

I was sitting here having a nice discussion with my good e-friend Ms.P, and here comes Brandon trying to stop the flow. See what you did, Branh?!

Now, if I lose my main e-girl crush, that's your ass.

poo, he started it.

""Nothing personal S.S. aka notso (I'm still shocked that you were notso) but we are just totally different birds.""

::sigh::

My dear, cappysweetie. My dear, dear, cappysweetie. ::smh::

🙂

notso, you have nothing to prove. to me, you're as classy as they come. but damn, i don't need to be reminded to avoid pissing you off. 🙂

like i said, you can't really "blast" something that someone has created WHOLE threads about. How can you blast something that's already been blasted?

perhaps....i reblasted it?

and yeah - i have to admit that branh set himself up for that when he made the comment about you not having relationship experience. i think that's just strange, to make negative assumptions like that without knowing the person.

prolly shouldn't have said anything anyway. i just don't like to see the ugliness come out on here, is all.

Well, unlike some, I don't blast myself online. That's.....just not me. If I need advice, I go to ppl who actually know me.

I think the whole point of this thread is not about whether cheating is right or not.

Its really about Branh hurting notso's pride about not being in a relationship but then somehow can tell people how to run their lives, and that somehow pisses our queen bitch of this forum off.

Notso, seriously ,if you have no experience towards something learn to shut up until you experienced it. Then you have the right to say something.

""i think that's just strange, to make negative assumptions like that without knowing the person.""

- kindergarten antics. the equivalent of, "i betcha can't answer this question? i dare you to tell me." when in reality, the person is too embarrassed to come out and ask for the information they want. he's simply curious to know if i'm dating anyone. but he can't come out and ask me directly, so he resorted to this as a method of extraction.

because if you'll notice, i hadn't really offered any advice on this thread, and i seldom comment on relationship threads, as i find them repetitive and annoying.

lol

Anyway

I wanted to say that, like Ms.P, I am not sure if I'd be so quick to leave a spouse if infidelity occurred. I believe strongly in counseling, and not only when problems arise. However, a repeated offense may be irreparable.

I also do not believe in divorce.

lol too

Not me, if there is no trust. There is no relationship. Im moving on.

You're right. I think it would be extremely difficult for me NOT to completely shut down on my husband. But, I'd like to think I'd at least try.

I'd like to think if there was a problem it would be addressed before it got to that point. Im always up for communication.

It'll be a blow to my ego and pride wont let me stay.

""I'd like to think if there was a problem it would be addressed before it got to that point. Im always up for communication.""

Definitely. Why is this so hard to do? Better to say what you feel.

- First of all, cappysweetie, I have not mentioned anything on this thread that was confidential. Each of my opinions given here have been said before, ON THE BOARDS, either as notso or as SS. I have not revealed anything about Brandon's personal accounts that he hasn't mentioned HIMSELF on dxp. Yes, I do suspect he has serious issues. What's so wrong with that? Mental health should not be so stigmatized. It should be acknowledged and addressed, keeping in mind that everyone has weaknesses.

Oh goodness, lets just stick to the topic of discussion 🙂 The main subject matter was lost along the way ... and it's a good subject too 😢

If that's your opinion of Brahn, that's fine, like I said, nothing against you, BUT I will give my 'opposite' opinion if I don't agree. It's not just you SS, it could've been ANYONE, I don't care 🙂 If I don't agree, then I will not agree -- I will delightfully disagree 😉

I didn't read everything because I didn't have time, so I'm not sure who attacked who first, but still ...

"Uh, of course we're animals...."

then why are you wearing clothes.

"Oh so admitting that our human instincts are alive and well is bad. Gotcha."

No actually....I think you missed the point.

^^^ just saying. You're welcome.

lol

I think I love you guys. I really do.

Ms.Pisces, you are by far the person I've had the most fun debating on dxp.

Because you're good at it, and present a challenge. And it seems like you don't really take it personally.

Guys, can I say something?

Well, I don't think you guys are really arguing about whether or not humans are animals. It seems you are debating the degree to which humans and lower-level organisms differ in functioning. Ms.P is saying the difference is less, while jay is claiming that it is much greater.

""That's what you're studying to be right?""

Who me? Not yet. My applications are almost done though, LSATs out of the way finally. We'll see how it goes.

""lol Why do I always confuse SS and Jack??""

Probably the avatars. Mine says "eagle", his depicts one. lol Thief!

I have to admit, I'm kinda scared. Ppl keep telling me I'll be fine. That I get credit for having made it through NYU without killing myself. lmao

bad joke, sorry.

""Oh goodness, lets just stick to the topic of discussion The main subject matter was lost along the way ...""

- Because that never happens...oh no, not on dxp...

""If that's your opinion of Brahn, that's fine, like I said, nothing against you, BUT I will give my 'opposite' opinion if I don't agree. It's not just you SS, it could've been ANYONE, I don't care If I don't agree, then I will not agree -- I will delightfully disagree""

- Indeed, you have the right to disagree. And I have the right to respond when my integrity has been questioned. You charged me with having, "put someone out there". I have not. In fact, I am doing a fine job of avoiding "putting someone out there". Because if I weren't, I'm not so sure your opinion would be so opposite mine. Catch my drift? 😉

""I didn't read everything because I didn't have time, so I'm not sure who attacked who first, but still ...""

- Cool. So let's agree not to venture into the Kool-Aid if we don't know its flavor. And leave it at THAT.

- Cool. So let's agree not to venture into the Kool-Aid if we don't know its flavor. And leave it at THAT.

LOL, typical scorpio, must have the last word ...

No, I will agree to keep the Kool-Aid sweet by adding as much sugar as possible 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛