What's he up to?

Ok, my Scorp/Sag cusp ex-beau (who brought me to DXP) sent me a pic-text Saturday night. I hadn't heard from him in a few months. Some risque texting that should have led to sex in February. IM'ing in May that seemed like we were going to be friends but then he screwed me over by not coming back when he said he would be back in 5mins.

Anyway...

I responded with "What are you up to?"
Him: Not much, how you been?
Me: I've been good.
Him: Do you ever think of me?
Me: Don't do this to me.
Him: Do what? I think of you everyday.
Me: I don't get that. You didn't want ALL of me when you had me.
Him: I miss you. We need to see each other.
Me: When are you coming to see me?
Him: Invite me.

I ignored this and shortly after he sends another pic-text. None were vulgar, just top half body shots with black and then a white wife-beater.

Today, I was talking with my Scorp gf who tells me that she knows me that another text from him I will be going to see him. He lives 1.5hrs away but lives about 20mins from my job. Last I heard from him he was getting home at 3:30pm and I get off at 4pm. So of course y'all know what I did.

Me: What time do you get home today?
Him: 8:30
Me: I thought you were still getting home early evenings. I won't be able to come then because my son (10y/o) will be home tonight. Another time perhaps.
Him: I have been working 12hr days lately. I need to see you!

With an exclamation point too. What is up with this? When he saw me on IM he acted like he was about to lose his mind like I was someone he had been searching to find (we have the same cell #'s) so I thought he was coming into being more than just an "I'm horny, I miss her with the good sex" text-mate. Nope, he went to go outside to smoke a black and never came back that night when he said he'd be 5mins. The next time he saw me on IM, a week later, ignored him.

I've inquired way more than I should have with him this go round and I don't know if I can back away. The connection was awesome and the intimacy on point. But, he lives so far and working 12hr days. Just seems like it will be hard to see him even for sexual purposes and I don't want to go through that.

He lives in a gated community but there are some "hoods" around his building and I don't like that he let me walk to my car alone at 3am. It was hard to wake him up. I know you all may be thinking, "Why does she want to see him again?". It's kind of hard to explain. 😢

Wow...

i'm sorry but i didn't understand a word 😢

^^^ lol...I dunno. It's just too much texting and IMing...dont people talk on the phone anymore?

i use carrier pidgeon.

msaristocracy: i need a glossary of terms if you don't mind. for example, if a 'wife-beater' is not a wife-beater what is it? you made it sound like an item of clothing? am i close?

also, what is a black? is it a particular type of hash? or is it one of those lah-di-dah french st. moritz cigarettes with the gold filter?

"hoods" they are things you wear on your head if i'm not mistaken? like those sweat tops with hoods? close?

the rest sounds like standard scorp/sag 'stand by your bunks' kind of behaviour LOL.

"also, what is a black? is it a particular type of hash?"

As far as I'm aware it is, a few of my friends smoke it.

"A black and mild. Its a cigar."

I thought she was talking about hash lol, see you learn something new every day! 😛

Well...ahem...a wifebeater is a type of tee shirt...so she's saying he took a picture of himself in a black one...and then a white one...


Although this is the bit that went waaaaay over my head.

"With an exclamation point too. What is up with this? When he saw me on IM he acted like he was about to lose his mind like I was someone he had been searching to find (we have the same cell #'s) so I thought he was coming into being more than just an "I'm horny, I miss her with the good sex" text-mate. Nope, he went to go outside to smoke a black and never came back that night when he said he'd be 5mins. The next time he saw me on IM, a week later, ignored him."

I mean...what exactly happened here? And how do two people have the same cellphone number?

Agree SF, too much coming and going for me too - one min he's ignoring her and the next he "needs" to see her.

It's hard sometimes though for some people to see the reality when you like someone and to not make excuses for their behaviour.

Seen it time and time again.

Still, I think not caring about your personal safety is a biggie in that sense.

AgentX you are correct on all analysis, except hood is a rough Neighborhood.

Well...I'm not sure having a bf that lives in a "hood" is cool either.

MsPisces, thanks for the explanation, you got it girly!

Starfish, it was an extreme turn-off and I allowed it to happen 3 times at least. He actually bit me when I was annoying him in sleep to wake him up. It wasn't hard but it was still a bite. That was different. His bday is Nov 22 so that's the Scorp/Sag part of it.

MsA you said he was an ex, how long were you with him? What was the relationship like and how did it end? Just trying to get the big picture.

"at what age do boys actually become MEN?"

lol...

Thank you newbie for explaining the black and white wife-beater.

Same cell #'s meant that they haven't changed and he was acting like he was so grateful to see me on IM but we have the same numbers. It's not like he couldn't have called and I wouldnt have recognized it.

^^^ Oooooooh...ok...I get it now.

"or can potentially be more than just a sexual relationship"

She did say he was an ex so I'm assuming it was more than that at some point, but she's not answered my question on that yet lol.

i thought gated communities were meant to be gated for a purpose? is this to keep all the criminals in one place in the US? how do you have bad 'hoods' in a gated community. who is fucking in charge of the fucking gate?

msA. this person is doing the typical scorp/sag thing of giving you a prod to stir up your feelings and just make sure he's still under your skin and then he will fuck you over again. what's with the 'we need to talk - exclamation mark'— in other words, he wants you to listen to him. he just wants attention.

You all are correct 100% . I had a big discussing with my mom about this. And I told him about it in Dec/Jan and he claimed he didn't remember that he let me walk to my car alone.

I have not been with him since Oct 19th 2007 and he has tried to come back in Dec then Feb then May and now this past weekend. I already know he doesn't want to be with me. I don't know what he wants except sex or why he tries to get back with me time after time.

My gf says it's because I allow him to dip in and out through text and IM. Which is true but seriously I don't know what drives him. He is very handsome, single, successful, so he should have no problem keeping women banging on his door. It's just I have no clue what's up with him wanting me still, even for sex.

I thought Scorps don't go back to mates.

SG is right - he needs to be told.

"I thought Scorps don't go back to mates."

Are you like...kidding me?

They spend their lives hunting you down. There are NO exit signs once you get on a scorp's relationship radar.

He's either hunting you down cuz you betrayed him, in which case...he just wants to destroy you...or

...he's hunting you down cuz he cant...and/or wont stop loving you...

Thetis said: "MsA you said he was an ex, how long were you with him? What was the relationship like and how did it end? Just trying to get the big picture."

Not long at all. We met online in 2006 on a dating website that I soon after cancelled my membership too. I took him to IM but had found Myspace and was no longer being bothered with any of the men I already had e-met. In August 2007 he found me on Myspace (I think he let it find his Yahoo buddies or whatever) and so we got to know each other more online in August and then met on Sept 9th. Because of the distance I only saw him about 4-5 times and it was done by Oct 15th or 19th because I had started getting to know someone else who could drive to see me as the Scorp/Sag was having car issues.

Eventually, his bad behavior turned me completely off and the better guy (a Pisces) made the transition easier for me. Since then he's tried to get me to come see him but I won't. Was in a relationship from mid Nov to early Feb 2008. I almost went to go see him around some holiday weekend can't remember but he never got back in touch with me after he came back from out of town.

"Because of the distance I only saw him about 4-5 times and it was done by Oct 15th or 19th because I had started getting to know someone else who could drive to see me as the Scorp/Sag was having car issues."

No wonder he's been hunting you down.

Ah ok MsA thanks for clarifying. Sounds to me like he's trying to see if he has any power over you - see if you'll come running. He wants you on HIS terms and if you ask me probably has scores of other women on the go. Sounds like a loser, and you're better off without him.

"lol Yea he does need to be told, but not in hopes of him changing for you, but just because he needs to know that he isn't smooth, nor is he getting over on you"

That's exactly what I meant MsP. 🙂

No doubt he thinks he is all that, click his fingers and you're at his beck and call. Needs to be brought down a peg or two if you ask me.

i think the best thing would be to completely ignore him. actually make a point of ignoring him. block him from stuff as much as possible. it will probably make him crazier but it will get your message across loud and clear. scorpios use people like convenience stores alot if they are allowed to get away with it.

MsPisces said: "Also, why did you have to leave at 3am anyway? He didn't want you spending the night?"

It was work nights. I live 1.5hrs from him and my job so basically. I couldn't stay any later in order to make it home in time to get ready for work.

Starfish said: "MSA: This guy is a boy and to bluntly put it don't waste anymore of your time on him..I have a brother born Nov 22nd so I know.."

I agree. I did know this last fall but then he had a birthday and reached the age of 30 and I was hoping he had come into his manhood a little more.

Ms.Pisces said: "MsA, as long as youre not fooling yourself into thinking this is more, or can potentially be more than just a sexual relationship, the question you have to ask yourself is whether you are okay with that or not. It sounds like you aren't, so I wouldn't spend too much time over analyzing his words into meaning something other than the fact that he simply wants to sleep with you. His actions CLEARLY state otherwise."

Actually, I am only interested in sex with him, I have no intentions of bending over backwards the way I did before. He needs to come see me or we can meet after work. No extra special efforts.

But, my reason for starting the thread is to figure out why is he continuing to try and get back with me (sexually even). Is he up to something or like Brandone is saying, men do this. I mean I can see if every time or even one of the 3-4 times he's attempted it was successful but it's like wasting time, or phishing hoping I will bite when I haven't successfully taken the bait.

sagigoat said: "MsA, imo, this man's urgency was due to his horniness."

I know, because it was late night, however he could have gotten that sex, Saturday night, Sunday at some point. Yet, he still is acting like its urgent to get with me. I don't get why me, get with anyone else. Is it control/power/mind games and ego?

AgentX said: "msA. this person is doing the typical scorp/sag thing of giving you a prod to stir up your feelings and just make sure he's still under your skin and then he will fuck you over again. what's with the 'we need to talk - exclamation mark'— in other words, he wants you to listen to him. he just wants attention."

ZING!

I think you're right about it. His urgencies were all "We need to see each other" and "I need to see you!"

I think he is trying to lure me with that, like we're long lost lovers or soemthing.

"I don't get why me, get with anyone else. Is it control/power/mind games and ego?"

Why you? Probably because he thinks he can have you, like he still has some sway over you. I'm only talking from my own personal experience here so I could be wrong but that's what it sounds like.

The point is you deserve better, don't indulge him.

i think the best thing would be to completely ignore him. actually make a point of ignoring him. block him from stuff as much as possible. it will probably make him crazier but it will get your message across loud and clear. scorpios use people like convenience stores alot if they are allowed to get away with it.

newbie said: "He's either hunting you down cuz you betrayed him, in which case...he just wants to destroy you...or"

I never betrayed him. Even when I got in my relationship I never told him. Just told him that there was osmeone else interested in me that I was considering giving a chance to.

I don't think he loves me either. He told me MY feelings scared him when we were together. So, I don't know when he would have had time to develop feelings because shortly aftewards we broke up.

"scorpios use people like convenience stores alot if they are allowed to get away with it"

LMAO sorry that just reminds me of an ex..........and would you believe yes it was a Scorp! Mind you he was mental beyond belief - and that's saying something coming from me!

"I never betrayed him."

You did. He's not stupid. He's a scorpio. He's intuitive. He knows you got into another relationship while he was still in the picture.

You blew him off...acted flaky in his eyes and now he wants to make you pay. He's trying to draw you in so he can blow you off.

There..you wanted to know what he was doing and why.

He'll keep pursuing you till he gets his revenge so I suggest now that you know how and why...you'll quit analysing, cut off all ties...and just move on.

Regardless MsA you need to kick this guy to the curb, as X said the best way to do that is to ignore him......don't engage him at all and as she says yes it will drive him crazy but tough, the minute you start indulging him you're just giving him exactly what he wants. Walk away.

You guys are right. Thank you for being my voice of sanity. I won't indulge him. I don't have a problem ignoring him, just don't understand why he would continue to pursue me. I am so far away, we've not been together in months and he pushed me away. So, in all this time there should have been someone else(s) to even take the role I had whatever it was.

Ok, I am leaving work. Will be back to check in on any questions when I get home. Thanks again everyone. 🙂

"Newbie, how does that intuitive stuff work?"

I dunno.....magic? lol

Are you asking how does scorp intuition work?

hell hath no fury like a scorp/sagger scorned that's for sure. the trouble is that they make real dicks of themselves in the process and just show how sad and desparate they really are.

"Haha, you would know about magic. I'm trying to hit up a Taurus girl now, but she's ignoring me. All of you play hard to get!"

Hon, you're on the opposite side of the same road. There isnt much difference between bulls and scorps. Bulls are just less psycho...lol

"No, I mean, the OP was in another relationship - how would a Scorp know that if she didn't tell him or if he didn't see them out or anything like that?"

It's called 6th sense...and he was interacting with her. Something about her changed when she started seeing this other guy so he sensed something was iffy. Then of course she DOES mention that she told him she was in a relationship or something...

anyways...it's all paranormal freaky stuff that only paranormal freaky people would be able to do...lol

oh soooo true fuckina but without these questions, what would become of the scorp board—

"I'm trying to hit up a Taurus girl now, but she's ignoring me. All of you play hard to get!"

Tell me about it, got a Taurus doing my box in right now....I'm done with it tho, onwards and upwards!

LOL!!!!

Starfish said: "Oh and why we are telling her to not over think this and stuff gotta keep in mind she's a Virgo and thats what they do..LOL!!!"

You know that's the truth, lol. I can't help it. 😢 But, since leaving work, I haven't thought about him at all til now. I am officially done with all of it.