Completely Confused by A Grieving Scorpio

Posted by CancerCookie
Thanks so much Enoch.things didn't change before that point so I've been trying to tell myself that. This damn Cancer s*** just makes me wallow in missing him n wanting to be the one he comes to. I'm going to not say anything as I said what u suggested when we skyped last week. He's a smart man so I'm sure he understands.

Posted by Scorpio323OC

Posted by CancerCookie
Thanks so much Enoch.things didn't change before that point so I've been trying to tell myself that. This damn Cancer s*** just makes me wallow in missing him n wanting to be the one he comes to. I'm going to not say anything as I said what u suggested when we skyped last week. He's a smart man so I'm sure he understands.

Tell him you'll be there for him and give him as much space as he wanted/needed he'll reach out to you when he's ready.

click to expand

Posted by EnochtheWise

Posted by CancerCookie
Thanks so much Enoch.things didn't change before that point so I've been trying to tell myself that. This damn Cancer s*** just makes me wallow in missing him n wanting to be the one he comes to. I'm going to not say anything as I said what u suggested when we skyped last week. He's a smart man so I'm sure he understands.

Just try not to be too focused on your own feelings and needs for him right now, and he will appreciate that. When I'm really low, not just in a mood which can be cleared up by being around another, but really at a rock bottom, I don't really want to go to anyone for comfort; there's nothing they can do....I need to go through it and experience it my self - climb up out of it on my own. The best support anyone can give me during that time is letting me know they'll be there when I get out....and then, actually being there when I get out.

click to expand

Posted by CancerCookie

Posted by Scorpio323OC

Posted by CancerCookie
Thanks so much Enoch.things didn't change before that point so I've been trying to tell myself that. This damn Cancer s*** just makes me wallow in missing him n wanting to be the one he comes to. I'm going to not say anything as I said what u suggested when we skyped last week. He's a smart man so I'm sure he understands.

Tell him you'll be there for him and give him as much space as he wanted/needed he'll reach out to you when he's ready.

Do you mean in addition to having said it a week ago by Skype? His birthday is the 21 so I figure if I don't hear anything by then I'll just send birthday wishes. Was hoping he would still want me to come visit but not going to ask. I'm naturally impatient so I think God is trying to teach me something here.

click to expand

Posted by CancerCookie
Long one...Me and this guy met online, chatted and exchanged pics for about a month. Went on vacation to where he's from a trip that was pre planned and the reason we even met on tinder. Spent only two days with him bc I had my trip planned as noted. We had an amazing date lots of really deep conversation and spent the night together...no sex but plenty of kissing and touching. I wasn't going to sleep with someone I wasn't sure I'd see again and he was completely ok with that saying we had plenty of time and even more reason to keep seeing each other. I get home and the whirlwind begins skyping everyday lots of I miss u and can't wait to see you again. The STARE is real! We decided we'd see each other again in Nov. and would communicate no less than every other day but usually every. He told me he loved me 3 weeks after I returned from the trip I couldn't say it back not bc I didn't feel I was falling but bc I felt it was too early and cancers guard their hearts. I did explain that I was falling for him but needed time to be sure and he accepted that and we continued. Two weeks after that I say it back and he's ecstatic. I feel I'm dreaming with how this relationship is going. Two weeks later his sibling tragically dies. This is where things, naturally so, fall apart! I'm completely supportive tell him to take as much time as he needs focus on him n family. I continue sending support every few days and telling him to skype me to just let me know if he's ok and see his face. Good or bad I just wanted to be there for him. A month and a week go by with no communication other than my messages to which he replied to most not all, thanks so much I miss u will try to skype you, but doesn't. This may sound self centered but the only reason I was bothered was bc I noticed he would still be online all day even late hrs of the night even during this time. Times we would always be talking, but never saying anything not even hey things r hard will be in touch when I can etc. I send some long emotional message a week ago about how I just want to know he's ok and doesn't have to be so distant,if he wants to just be friends that's fine but don't shut me out...I know I regret saying that now...but he responds and says hell call that night. He did and we talked for 30 mins...he apologized said he was having a hard time with the loss, just needed space but that still wants this to work and will communicate more. That was a week ago nothing since. I'm not sure if he's just being nice at that point but is done, if he's still grieving and that's the reason, seeing someone else or if I've been too pushy with my trying to be supportive. I won't reach out again bc my brain says not to...he continues being online all throughout the days up to 2 am on work days. Some advice from you scorpios particularly men would ease my heart a bit even if it's the truth!!! ?

Posted by tiki33

Posted by CancerCookie
Long one...Me and this guy met online, chatted and exchanged pics for about a month. Went on vacation to where he's from a trip that was pre planned and the reason we even met on tinder. Spent only two days with him bc I had my trip planned as noted. We had an amazing date lots of really deep conversation and spent the night together...no sex but plenty of kissing and touching. I wasn't going to sleep with someone I wasn't sure I'd see again and he was completely ok with that saying we had plenty of time and even more reason to keep seeing each other. I get home and the whirlwind begins skyping everyday lots of I miss u and can't wait to see you again. The STARE is real! We decided we'd see each other again in Nov. and would communicate no less than every other day but usually every. He told me he loved me 3 weeks after I returned from the trip I couldn't say it back not bc I didn't feel I was falling but bc I felt it was too early and cancers guard their hearts. I did explain that I was falling for him but needed time to be sure and he accepted that and we continued. Two weeks after that I say it back and he's ecstatic. I feel I'm dreaming with how this relationship is going. Two weeks later his sibling tragically dies. This is where things, naturally so, fall apart! I'm completely supportive tell him to take as much time as he needs focus on him n family. I continue sending support every few days and telling him to skype me to just let me know if he's ok and see his face. Good or bad I just wanted to be there for him. A month and a week go by with no communication other than my messages to which he replied to most not all, thanks so much I miss u will try to skype you, but doesn't. This may sound self centered but the only reason I was bothered was bc I noticed he would still be online all day even late hrs of the night even during this time. Times we would always be talking, but never saying anything not even hey things r hard will be in touch when I can etc. I send some long emotional message a week ago about how I just want to know he's ok and doesn't have to be so distant,if he wants to just be friends that's fine but don't shut me out...I know I regret saying that now...but he responds and says hell call that night. He did and we talked for 30 mins...he apologized said he was having a hard time with the loss, just needed space but that still wants this to work and will communicate more. That was a week ago nothing since. I'm not sure if he's just being nice at that point but is done, if he's still grieving and that's the reason, seeing someone else or if I've been too pushy with my trying to be supportive. I won't reach out again bc my brain says not to...he continues being online all throughout the days up to 2 am on work days. Some advice from you scorpios particularly men would ease my heart a bit even if it's the truth!!! ?

Something doesn't sit right.

Did someone truly die tragically? All you need is to the person's name and look up the obituary online to make sure his story checks out. Do you have access to any of his social networks for example Facebook or Instagram b/c usually the news of the death should be filled with condolences.

So a few scenarios going on.

1. Family member met s tragic demise and he's using the tragedy to move on.

2. He lied, nobody died but he needed a way out.

3. He met someone else and is too chicken shit to admit it.

4. The death is real and the grieving is real.

If he's online up until 2am then that is your answer. He's making time to communicate with someone other than you which should be your queue to let go.

Send one final text, nothing long and drawn out. Send your condolences and then extend an olive branch to communicate by letting him know if he need you you'll be there for him, just call or text and then get on with your life, get offline for a couple of weeks so you can stop chasing him mentally and emotionally and get yourself grounded mentally and emotionally. Once he sense your gone he may decide to stop running away and turn around and reach out to you.

One thing you absolutely do know is that he's gone for whatever reason be it a death or not interested anymore

click to expand

Posted by tiki33

Posted by CancerCookie
Long one...Me and this guy met online, chatted and exchanged pics for about a month. Went on vacation to where he's from a trip that was pre planned and the reason we even met on tinder. Spent only two days with him bc I had my trip planned as noted. We had an amazing date lots of really deep conversation and spent the night together...no sex but plenty of kissing and touching. I wasn't going to sleep with someone I wasn't sure I'd see again and he was completely ok with that saying we had plenty of time and even more reason to keep seeing each other. I get home and the whirlwind begins skyping everyday lots of I miss u and can't wait to see you again. The STARE is real! We decided we'd see each other again in Nov. and would communicate no less than every other day but usually every. He told me he loved me 3 weeks after I returned from the trip I couldn't say it back not bc I didn't feel I was falling but bc I felt it was too early and cancers guard their hearts. I did explain that I was falling for him but needed time to be sure and he accepted that and we continued. Two weeks after that I say it back and he's ecstatic. I feel I'm dreaming with how this relationship is going. Two weeks later his sibling tragically dies. This is where things, naturally so, fall apart! I'm completely supportive tell him to take as much time as he needs focus on him n family. I continue sending support every few days and telling him to skype me to just let me know if he's ok and see his face. Good or bad I just wanted to be there for him. A month and a week go by with no communication other than my messages to which he replied to most not all, thanks so much I miss u will try to skype you, but doesn't. This may sound self centered but the only reason I was bothered was bc I noticed he would still be online all day even late hrs of the night even during this time. Times we would always be talking, but never saying anything not even hey things r hard will be in touch when I can etc. I send some long emotional message a week ago about how I just want to know he's ok and doesn't have to be so distant,if he wants to just be friends that's fine but don't shut me out...I know I regret saying that now...but he responds and says hell call that night. He did and we talked for 30 mins...he apologized said he was having a hard time with the loss, just needed space but that still wants this to work and will communicate more. That was a week ago nothing since. I'm not sure if he's just being nice at that point but is done, if he's still grieving and that's the reason, seeing someone else or if I've been too pushy with my trying to be supportive. I won't reach out again bc my brain says not to...he continues being online all throughout the days up to 2 am on work days. Some advice from you scorpios particularly men would ease my heart a bit even if it's the truth!!! ?

Something doesn't sit right.

Did someone truly die tragically? All you need is to the person's name and look up the obituary online to make sure his story checks out. Do you have access to any of his social networks for example Facebook or Instagram b/c usually the news of the death should be filled with condolences.

So a few scenarios going on.

1. Family member met s tragic demise and he's using the tragedy to move on.

2. He lied, nobody died but he needed a way out.

3. He met someone else and is too chicken shit to admit it.

4. The death is real and the grieving is real.

If he's online up until 2am then that is your answer. He's making time to communicate with someone other than you which should be your queue to let go.

Send one final text, nothing long and drawn out. Send your condolences and then extend an olive branch to communicate by letting him know if he need you you'll be there for him, just call or text and then get on with your life, get offline for a couple of weeks so you can stop chasing him mentally and emotionally and get yourself groundef mentally and emotionally. Once he sense hour gone he may decide to stop running away and turn around and reach out to you.

One thing you absolutely do know is that he's gone for whatever reason be it a death or not interested anymore

click to expand

Posted by GetMisted

Posted by CancerCookie
This may sound self centered but the only reason I was bothered was bc I noticed he would still be online all day even late hrs of the night even during this time. Times we would always be talking, but never saying anything not even hey things r hard will be in touch when I can etc.

he continues being online all throughout the days up to 2 am on work days.

Also..

This really bothers me. When women tell me this, I immediately want to cut off all contact with them.

I think I'm going to start a thread about it.

click to expand

Posted by tiki33

Posted by CancerCookie
Long one...Me and this guy met online, chatted and exchanged pics for about a month. Went on vacation to where he's from a trip that was pre planned and the reason we even met on tinder. Spent only two days with him bc I had my trip planned as noted. We had an amazing date lots of really deep conversation and spent the night together...no sex but plenty of kissing and touching. I wasn't going to sleep with someone I wasn't sure I'd see again and he was completely ok with that saying we had plenty of time and even more reason to keep seeing each other. I get home and the whirlwind begins skyping everyday lots of I miss u and can't wait to see you again. The STARE is real! We decided we'd see each other again in Nov. and would communicate no less than every other day but usually every. He told me he loved me 3 weeks after I returned from the trip I couldn't say it back not bc I didn't feel I was falling but bc I felt it was too early and cancers guard their hearts. I did explain that I was falling for him but needed time to be sure and he accepted that and we continued. Two weeks after that I say it back and he's ecstatic. I feel I'm dreaming with how this relationship is going. Two weeks later his sibling tragically dies. This is where things, naturally so, fall apart! I'm completely supportive tell him to take as much time as he needs focus on him n family. I continue sending support every few days and telling him to skype me to just let me know if he's ok and see his face. Good or bad I just wanted to be there for him. A month and a week go by with no communication other than my messages to which he replied to most not all, thanks so much I miss u will try to skype you, but doesn't. This may sound self centered but the only reason I was bothered was bc I noticed he would still be online all day even late hrs of the night even during this time. Times we would always be talking, but never saying anything not even hey things r hard will be in touch when I can etc. I send some long emotional message a week ago about how I just want to know he's ok and doesn't have to be so distant,if he wants to just be friends that's fine but don't shut me out...I know I regret saying that now...but he responds and says hell call that night. He did and we talked for 30 mins...he apologized said he was having a hard time with the loss, just needed space but that still wants this to work and will communicate more. That was a week ago nothing since. I'm not sure if he's just being nice at that point but is done, if he's still grieving and that's the reason, seeing someone else or if I've been too pushy with my trying to be supportive. I won't reach out again bc my brain says not to...he continues being online all throughout the days up to 2 am on work days. Some advice from you scorpios particularly men would ease my heart a bit even if it's the truth!!! ?

Something doesn't sit right.

Did someone truly die tragically? All you need is to the person's name and look up the obituary online to make sure his story checks out. Do you have access to any of his social networks for example Facebook or Instagram b/c usually the news of the death should be filled with condolences.

So a few scenarios going on.

1. Family member met s tragic demise and he's using the tragedy to move on.

2. He lied, nobody died but he needed a way out.

3. He met someone else and is too chicken shit to admit it.

4. The death is real and the grieving is real.

If he's online up until 2am then that is your answer. He's making time to communicate with someone other than you which should be your queue to let go.

Send one final text, nothing long and drawn out. Send your condolences and then extend an olive branch to communicate by letting him know if he need you you'll be there for him, just call or text and then get on with your life, get offline for a couple of weeks so you can stop chasing him mentally and emotionally and get yourself groundef mentally and emotionally. Once he sense hour gone he may decide to stop running away and turn around and reach out to you.

One thing you absolutely do know is that he's gone for whatever reason be it a death or not interested anymore

click to expand

Posted by GetMisted
Even still..

If he is communicating with someone, it very well could be a close friend or family member helping them through matters.

smh

Posted by GetMisted

Posted by tiki33
If he's online up until 2am then that is your answer. He's making time to communicate with someone other than you which should be your queue to let go.

How is that her answer?

My co-workers son just tragically dies a month ago. It's been a month, and I still see her online. More so than before his death.

The first few weeks it was her posting stories about her son. My assumption now is that she is looking through photos of him as a way to remember him.

Does that mean she is online communicating with someone?? No.

Your assumption seems rather cynical in nature.

click to expand

Posted by CancerCookie

Posted by GetMisted
Even still..

If he is communicating with someone, it very well could be a close friend or family member helping them through matters.

smh

I pray that's the case bc he's always been honest with me as far as I can tell. I mean I've never doubted what he said and I can't understand why he'd bother skyping last week and telling me he still wants this if he meant otherwise. I had already made it very clear in a calm manner I was fine with us being friends bc he's special and I'd rather have that than nothing and I'm sure he believed me.

click to expand

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by tiki33

Posted by CancerCookie
Long one...Me and this guy met online, chatted and exchanged pics for about a month. Went on vacation to where he's from a trip that was pre planned and the reason we even met on tinder. Spent only two days with him bc I had my trip planned as noted. We had an amazing date lots of really deep conversation and spent the night together...no sex but plenty of kissing and touching. I wasn't going to sleep with someone I wasn't sure I'd see again and he was completely ok with that saying we had plenty of time and even more reason to keep seeing each other. I get home and the whirlwind begins skyping everyday lots of I miss u and can't wait to see you again. The STARE is real! We decided we'd see each other again in Nov. and would communicate no less than every other day but usually every. He told me he loved me 3 weeks after I returned from the trip I couldn't say it back not bc I didn't feel I was falling but bc I felt it was too early and cancers guard their hearts. I did explain that I was falling for him but needed time to be sure and he accepted that and we continued. Two weeks after that I say it back and he's ecstatic. I feel I'm dreaming with how this relationship is going. Two weeks later his sibling tragically dies. This is where things, naturally so, fall apart! I'm completely supportive tell him to take as much time as he needs focus on him n family. I continue sending support every few days and telling him to skype me to just let me know if he's ok and see his face. Good or bad I just wanted to be there for him. A month and a week go by with no communication other than my messages to which he replied to most not all, thanks so much I miss u will try to skype you, but doesn't. This may sound self centered but the only reason I was bothered was bc I noticed he would still be online all day even late hrs of the night even during this time. Times we would always be talking, but never saying anything not even hey things r hard will be in touch when I can etc. I send some long emotional message a week ago about how I just want to know he's ok and doesn't have to be so distant,if he wants to just be friends that's fine but don't shut me out...I know I regret saying that now...but he responds and says hell call that night. He did and we talked for 30 mins...he apologized said he was having a hard time with the loss, just needed space but that still wants this to work and will communicate more. That was a week ago nothing since. I'm not sure if he's just being nice at that point but is done, if he's still grieving and that's the reason, seeing someone else or if I've been too pushy with my trying to be supportive. I won't reach out again bc my brain says not to...he continues being online all throughout the days up to 2 am on work days. Some advice from you scorpios particularly men would ease my heart a bit even if it's the truth!!! ?

Something doesn't sit right.

Did someone truly die tragically? All you need is to the person's name and look up the obituary online to make sure his story checks out. Do you have access to any of his social networks for example Facebook or Instagram b/c usually the news of the death should be filled with condolences.

So a few scenarios going on.

1. Family member met s tragic demise and he's using the tragedy to move on.

2. He lied, nobody died but he needed a way out.

3. He met someone else and is too chicken shit to admit it.

4. The death is real and the grieving is real.

If he's online up until 2am then that is your answer. He's making time to communicate with someone other than you which should be your queue to let go.

Send one final text, nothing long and drawn out. Send your condolences and then extend an olive branch to communicate by letting him know if he need you you'll be there for him, just call or text and then get on with your life, get offline for a couple of weeks so you can stop chasing him mentally and emotionally and get yourself groundef mentally and emotionally. Once he sense hour gone he may decide to stop running away and turn around and reach out to you.

One thing you absolutely do know is that he's gone for whatever reason be it a death or not interested anymore

Tiki33,

This is just too much. The lack of empathy, understanding and trust is just too much. If someone had this opinion of me WHILE grieving, I would cut them out of my life in less than a second. All I see is ugliness in that type of thinking.

click to expand

Posted by tiki33

Posted by GetMisted

Posted by tiki33
If he's online up until 2am then that is your answer. He's making time to communicate with someone other than you which should be your queue to let go.

How is that her answer?

My co-workers son just tragically dies a month ago. It's been a month, and I still see her online. More so than before his death.

The first few weeks it was her posting stories about her son. My assumption now is that she is looking through photos of him as a way to remember him.

Does that mean she is online communicating with someone?? No.

Your assumption seems rather cynical in nature.

We women (not all women of course) have this deep need for resolutions, direct answers, truth and closure and if we don't get it we hang on.

This guy in a matter of 3 weeks after meeting professed his love for her and the minute she reciprocated the same feelings he went missing in action but of course he gave her a very valid reason to go off the grid but nevertheless no matter how valid an excuse it is its still not a respectable reason to completely cut her out of his life.

And yes I may seem cynical to you but before I married I was single and have heard it and seen it all and my gut feelings were almost never wrong.

Deep down she know what's happening but her her heart won't allow her to go there.

As I stated to her to check his networks and she can check the obituaries online for his state to ensure his story pans out. There should be pictures and condolences and remembrance of that person.

click to expand

Posted by EnochtheWise

Posted by tiki33


And yes I may seem cynical to you but before I married I was single and have heard it and seen it all and my gut feelings were almost never wrong.

I think that's one of the problems with gut feelings though. Sometimes they can be more tied into past experience than present reality. And then if you trust them too much, they can determine your reality, rather than actually shed light on it, so it can becomes self-fulfilling. What you think is an accurate intuition is accurate only to the extent that its a fear now causally determining your reality.

This is actually one of the most widely accepted explanations for why people continually re-experience traumas in behavioral psychology and there's an entire school of therapy devised around it.

click to expand

Posted by tiki33

Posted by CancerCookie

Posted by GetMisted
Even still..

If he is communicating with someone, it very well could be a close friend or family member helping them through matters.

smh

I pray that's the case bc he's always been honest with me as far as I can tell. I mean I've never doubted what he said and I can't understand why he'd bother skyping last week and telling me he still wants this if he meant otherwise. I had already made it very clear in a calm manner I was fine with us being friends bc he's special and I'd rather have that than nothing and I'm sure he believed me.

Thank you for the clarification and my apologies to you if I crossed the line.

My gut says something is off, not right.

I'll go easy on the guy.

I still feel you should send a text or call him to let him know if he needs a shoulder to lean on and need someone to listen you'll be there for him, call or text and you'll be there and then move on from it for now, maybe the relationship will resume when he's ready but for now he's not in the right headspace to keep going.

click to expand

Posted by CancerCookie

Posted by tiki33

Posted by GetMisted

Posted by tiki33
If he's online up until 2am then that is your answer. He's making time to communicate with someone other than you which should be your queue to let go.

How is that her answer?

My co-workers son just tragically dies a month ago. It's been a month, and I still see her online. More so than before his death.

The first few weeks it was her posting stories about her son. My assumption now is that she is looking through photos of him as a way to remember him.

Does that mean she is online communicating with someone?? No.

Your assumption seems rather cynical in nature.

We women (not all women of course) have this deep need for resolutions, direct answers, truth and closure and if we don't get it we hang on.

This guy in a matter of 3 weeks after meeting professed his love for her and the minute she reciprocated the same feelings he went missing in action but of course he gave her a very valid reason to go off the grid but nevertheless no matter how valid an excuse it is its still not a respectable reason to completely cut her out of his life.

And yes I may seem cynical to you but before I married I was single and have heard it and seen it all and my gut feelings were almost never wrong.

Deep down she know what's happening but her her heart won't allow her to go there.

As I stated to her to check his networks and she can check the obituaries online for his state to ensure his story pans out. There should be pictures and condolences and remembrance of that person.

Tiki I'm not saying you're wrong but you're clearly not reading all of the initial story nor what I replied to you. His brother did die were on FB and Instagram, 1000 comments of condolences cannot be faked so please stop insinuating that. Whether he is using the grief to move on I don't know and you can state your opinions on that. It wasn't after I reciprocated. I reciprocated two weeks after he did. We continued on I said he was ecstatic we skyped everyday chatted online everyday continued discussing the future and then two weeks after that his brother died the youngest of 8 from an aneurism. We communicated with me initiating for a month and a week before the next time we skyped. What began to bother me was that he wouldn't say the smallest things like before eg good morning or I miss u or shit in having a rough day ....we skyped last Sat at his request!! But he's been radio silent since promising to communicate more...please respond based on these facts is all I'm asking. Yes I'm cynical about the 2 am what's app status not disagreeing with you on that but I'm not here to disrespect his grief or loss.

click to expand

Posted by CancerCookie

Posted by tiki33

Posted by CancerCookie

Posted by GetMisted
Even still..

If he is communicating with someone, it very well could be a close friend or family member helping them through matters.

smh

I pray that's the case bc he's always been honest with me as far as I can tell. I mean I've never doubted what he said and I can't understand why he'd bother skyping last week and telling me he still wants this if he meant otherwise. I had already made it very clear in a calm manner I was fine with us being friends bc he's special and I'd rather have that than nothing and I'm sure he believed me.

Thank you for the clarification and my apologies to you if I crossed the line.

My gut says something is off, not right.

I'll go easy on the guy.

I still feel you should send a text or call him to let him know if he needs a shoulder to lean on and need someone to listen you'll be there for him, call or text and you'll be there and then move on from it for now, maybe the relationship will resume when he's ready but for now he's not in the right headspace to keep going.

Tiki I think you read way too fast lol. I said it to him last sat on skype! Today is Thursday my post was about if I should just leave him alone completely and let him reach out next or continue sending supportive messages every few days. He hasn't reached out in four days which kinda put me back to the same frame of mind and as I said the activity on what's app nothing else makes me a bit paranoid.

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Posted by EnochtheWise

Posted by tiki33

Posted by EnochtheWise

Posted by tiki33


And yes I may seem cynical to you but before I married I was single and have heard it and seen it all and my gut feelings were almost never wrong.

I think that's one of the problems with gut feelings though. Sometimes they can be more tied into past experience than present reality. And then if you trust them too much, they can determine your reality, rather than actually shed light on it, so it can becomes self-fulfilling. What you think is an accurate intuition is accurate only to the extent that its a fear now causally determining your reality.

This is actually one of the most widely accepted explanations for why people continually re-experience traumas in behavioral psychology and there's an entire school of therapy devised around it.

Gut feelings is something we use or choose to ignore. The more that energy is used the sharper it becomes.

I have always used this side of my energy and I am rarely wrong. For example I met a guy many moons ago and for the most part he seemed very nice, a normal healthy good looking guy but my gut kept telling me something was not right and I chose to listen and thankfully I did b/c much later the real him was exposed and he was into some very dark behavior that eventually got him into some serious trouble.

Why should a person trust thier own gut level instincts if they hardly use them, ignore them and don't trust them.

Sorry for derailing your thread. I hope you (the person who created this thread) get the clarity and understanding you need. All you can do now is be patient.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for gut feelings, and more than that. I have dreams, even one just recently, that I consider predictive/psychic, and I have my intuitions confirmed regularly. I think they should be used as a guide. As someone who has studied psychic phenomena in depth, including how to develop my own abilities and increase accuracy, I just know there is often a LOT that is distorting the signal.

And honestly, my gut feeling told me after reading your response, that a lot of your gut feelings are related to your past trauma, and are imposed on others' situations. I think OP's response to you in this thread also confirms that.

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Posted by GetMisted
Jeez.. He was 8? Yeah.. May be while.

Posted by Librajean
You were exchanging naked pictures?

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by tiki33

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by tiki33

Posted by CancerCookie
Long one...Me and this guy met online, chatted and exchanged pics for about a month. Went on vacation to where he's from a trip that was pre planned and the reason we even met on tinder. Spent only two days with him bc I had my trip planned as noted. We had an amazing date lots of really deep conversation and spent the night together...no sex but plenty of kissing and touching. I wasn't going to sleep with someone I wasn't sure I'd see again and he was completely ok with that saying we had plenty of time and even more reason to keep seeing each other. I get home and the whirlwind begins skyping everyday lots of I miss u and can't wait to see you again. The STARE is real! We decided we'd see each other again in Nov. and would communicate no less than every other day but usually every. He told me he loved me 3 weeks after I returned from the trip I couldn't say it back not bc I didn't feel I was falling but bc I felt it was too early and cancers guard their hearts. I did explain that I was falling for him but needed time to be sure and he accepted that and we continued. Two weeks after that I say it back and he's ecstatic. I feel I'm dreaming with how this relationship is going. Two weeks later his sibling tragically dies. This is where things, naturally so, fall apart! I'm completely supportive tell him to take as much time as he needs focus on him n family. I continue sending support every few days and telling him to skype me to just let me know if he's ok and see his face. Good or bad I just wanted to be there for him. A month and a week go by with no communication other than my messages to which he replied to most not all, thanks so much I miss u will try to skype you, but doesn't. This may sound self centered but the only reason I was bothered was bc I noticed he would still be online all day even late hrs of the night even during this time. Times we would always be talking, but never saying anything not even hey things r hard will be in touch when I can etc. I send some long emotional message a week ago about how I just want to know he's ok and doesn't have to be so distant,if he wants to just be friends that's fine but don't shut me out...I know I regret saying that now...but he responds and says hell call that night. He did and we talked for 30 mins...he apologized said he was having a hard time with the loss, just needed space but that still wants this to work and will communicate more. That was a week ago nothing since. I'm not sure if he's just being nice at that point but is done, if he's still grieving and that's the reason, seeing someone else or if I've been too pushy with my trying to be supportive. I won't reach out again bc my brain says not to...he continues being online all throughout the days up to 2 am on work days. Some advice from you scorpios particularly men would ease my heart a bit even if it's the truth!!! ?

Something doesn't sit right.

Did someone truly die tragically? All you need is to the person's name and look up the obituary online to make sure his story checks out. Do you have access to any of his social networks for example Facebook or Instagram b/c usually the news of the death should be filled with condolences.

So a few scenarios going on.

1. Family member met s tragic demise and he's using the tragedy to move on.

2. He lied, nobody died but he needed a way out.

3. He met someone else and is too chicken shit to admit it.

4. The death is real and the grieving is real.

If he's online up until 2am then that is your answer. He's making time to communicate with someone other than you which should be your queue to let go.

Send one final text, nothing long and drawn out. Send your condolences and then extend an olive branch to communicate by letting him know if he need you you'll be there for him, just call or text and then get on with your life, get offline for a couple of weeks so you can stop chasing him mentally and emotionally and get yourself groundef mentally and emotionally. Once he sense hour gone he may decide to stop running away and turn around and reach out to you.

One thing you absolutely do know is that he's gone for whatever reason be it a death or not interested anymore

Tiki33,

This is just too much. The lack of empathy, understanding and trust is just too much. If someone had this opinion of me WHILE grieving, I would cut them out of my life in less than a second. All I see is ugliness in that type of thinking.

I'm an Aquarius we can be that way sometimes, least I can.

She's already cut out of his life for the time being.

Worry about your level of empathy not mine.

I wasn't worried about yours... Just telling you the reaction I have on your type of thinking.

And don't blame this on Aquarians. Both my grandmothers, my father and a truck load of my friends are Aquarians... None are as quick to judge as you just have.

OP is not cut out of his life. He is grieving DEEPLY. If you only understood how that felt, you would see things differently.

And even if you don't, it's not worth being so suspicious... You are only bringing that type of energy towards you!

I can't even imagine someone lying about this - You attract what you are.

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Posted by CancerCookie

Posted by Librajean
You were exchanging naked pictures?

No never and he never even asked he's extremely respectful. That's def not an act. Doesn't mean he couldn't have met someone else but he def isn't a creep.

click to expand

Posted by sakuraflowers

Posted by tiki33

Posted by CancerCookie
Long one...Me and this guy met online, chatted and exchanged pics for about a month. Went on vacation to where he's from a trip that was pre planned and the reason we even met on tinder. Spent only two days with him bc I had my trip planned as noted. We had an amazing date lots of really deep conversation and spent the night together...no sex but plenty of kissing and touching. I wasn't going to sleep with someone I wasn't sure I'd see again and he was completely ok with that saying we had plenty of time and even more reason to keep seeing each other. I get home and the whirlwind begins skyping everyday lots of I miss u and can't wait to see you again. The STARE is real! We decided we'd see each other again in Nov. and would communicate no less than every other day but usually every. He told me he loved me 3 weeks after I returned from the trip I couldn't say it back not bc I didn't feel I was falling but bc I felt it was too early and cancers guard their hearts. I did explain that I was falling for him but needed time to be sure and he accepted that and we continued. Two weeks after that I say it back and he's ecstatic. I feel I'm dreaming with how this relationship is going. Two weeks later his sibling tragically dies. This is where things, naturally so, fall apart! I'm completely supportive tell him to take as much time as he needs focus on him n family. I continue sending support every few days and telling him to skype me to just let me know if he's ok and see his face. Good or bad I just wanted to be there for him. A month and a week go by with no communication other than my messages to which he replied to most not all, thanks so much I miss u will try to skype you, but doesn't. This may sound self centered but the only reason I was bothered was bc I noticed he would still be online all day even late hrs of the night even during this time. Times we would always be talking, but never saying anything not even hey things r hard will be in touch when I can etc. I send some long emotional message a week ago about how I just want to know he's ok and doesn't have to be so distant,if he wants to just be friends that's fine but don't shut me out...I know I regret saying that now...but he responds and says hell call that night. He did and we talked for 30 mins...he apologized said he was having a hard time with the loss, just needed space but that still wants this to work and will communicate more. That was a week ago nothing since. I'm not sure if he's just being nice at that point but is done, if he's still grieving and that's the reason, seeing someone else or if I've been too pushy with my trying to be supportive. I won't reach out again bc my brain says not to...he continues being online all throughout the days up to 2 am on work days. Some advice from you scorpios particularly men would ease my heart a bit even if it's the truth!!! ?

Something doesn't sit right.

Did someone truly die tragically? All you need is to the person's name and look up the obituary online to make sure his story checks out. Do you have access to any of his social networks for example Facebook or Instagram b/c usually the news of the death should be filled with condolences.

So a few scenarios going on.

1. Family member met s tragic demise and he's using the tragedy to move on.

2. He lied, nobody died but he needed a way out.

3. He met someone else and is too chicken shit to admit it.

4. The death is real and the grieving is real.

If he's online up until 2am then that is your answer. He's making time to communicate with someone other than you which should be your queue to let go.

Send one final text, nothing long and drawn out. Send your condolences and then extend an olive branch to communicate by letting him know if he need you you'll be there for him, just call or text and then get on with your life, get offline for a couple of weeks so you can stop chasing him mentally and emotionally and get yourself groundef mentally and emotionally. Once he sense hour gone he may decide to stop running away and turn around and reach out to you.

One thing you absolutely do know is that he's gone for whatever reason be it a death or not interested anymore

Tiki, seriously, who in the right mind would make up about the death of someone close to them?!

Almost a year ago, a close Cap friend of mine took his own life (Nov 18). For almost 2 weeks straight, I was on his Facebook page up until late at night (it was like 3 to 4am on the first few days). If I was talking to anyone, it was mostly to those people who knew him, my Leo friend, and briefly to few people from DXP who were my Facebook friends at that time.

If the Scorp did make it up, he would be the biggest a-hole and if that's the case, OP will find out eventually. There's no need to rush.

It is just highly likely for OP to loose a good man due to jumping to conclusions based on bad assumptions.

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Posted by mzmee


You're asking him to extend an ear to you in the middle of a crisis. That's supposed to be the other way around. Send him an e-card, mail a gift card, send a dish. This is how this will make it better. Then sit back and wait. Otherwise, you'll push him away.

Posted by sakuraflowers

Posted by tiki33

Posted by sakuraflowers

Posted by tiki33

Posted by CancerCookie
Long one...Me and this guy met online, chatted and exchanged pics for about a month. Went on vacation to where he's from a trip that was pre planned and the reason we even met on tinder. Spent only two days with him bc I had my trip planned as noted. We had an amazing date lots of really deep conversation and spent the night together...no sex but plenty of kissing and touching. I wasn't going to sleep with someone I wasn't sure I'd see again and he was completely ok with that saying we had plenty of time and even more reason to keep seeing each other. I get home and the whirlwind begins skyping everyday lots of I miss u and can't wait to see you again. The STARE is real! We decided we'd see each other again in Nov. and would communicate no less than every other day but usually every. He told me he loved me 3 weeks after I returned from the trip I couldn't say it back not bc I didn't feel I was falling but bc I felt it was too early and cancers guard their hearts. I did explain that I was falling for him but needed time to be sure and he accepted that and we continued. Two weeks after that I say it back and he's ecstatic. I feel I'm dreaming with how this relationship is going. Two weeks later his sibling tragically dies. This is where things, naturally so, fall apart! I'm completely supportive tell him to take as much time as he needs focus on him n family. I continue sending support every few days and telling him to skype me to just let me know if he's ok and see his face. Good or bad I just wanted to be there for him. A month and a week go by with no communication other than my messages to which he replied to most not all, thanks so much I miss u will try to skype you, but doesn't. This may sound self centered but the only reason I was bothered was bc I noticed he would still be online all day even late hrs of the night even during this time. Times we would always be talking, but never saying anything not even hey things r hard will be in touch when I can etc. I send some long emotional message a week ago about how I just want to know he's ok and doesn't have to be so distant,if he wants to just be friends that's fine but don't shut me out...I know I regret saying that now...but he responds and says hell call that night. He did and we talked for 30 mins...he apologized said he was having a hard time with the loss, just needed space but that still wants this to work and will communicate more. That was a week ago nothing since. I'm not sure if he's just being nice at that point but is done, if he's still grieving and that's the reason, seeing someone else or if I've been too pushy with my trying to be supportive. I won't reach out again bc my brain says not to...he continues being online all throughout the days up to 2 am on work days. Some advice from you scorpios particularly men would ease my heart a bit even if it's the truth!!! ?

Something doesn't sit right.

Did someone truly die tragically? All you need is to the person's name and look up the obituary online to make sure his story checks out. Do you have access to any of his social networks for example Facebook or Instagram b/c usually the news of the death should be filled with condolences.

So a few scenarios going on.

1. Family member met s tragic demise and he's using the tragedy to move on.

2. He lied, nobody died but he needed a way out.

3. He met someone else and is too chicken shit to admit it.

4. The death is real and the grieving is real.

If he's online up until 2am then that is your answer. He's making time to communicate with someone other than you which should be your queue to let go.

Send one final text, nothing long and drawn out. Send your condolences and then extend an olive branch to communicate by letting him know if he need you you'll be there for him, just call or text and then get on with your life, get offline for a couple of weeks so you can stop chasing him mentally and emotionally and get yourself groundef mentally and emotionally. Once he sense hour gone he may decide to stop running away and turn around and reach out to you.

One thing you absolutely do know is that he's gone for whatever reason be it a death or not interested anymore

Tiki, seriously, who in the right mind would make up about the death of someone close to them?!

Almost a year ago, a close Cap friend of mine took his own life (Nov 18). For almost 2 weeks straight, I was on his Facebook page up until late at night (it was like 3 to 4am on the first few days). If I was talking to anyone, it was mostly to those people who knew him, my Leo friend, and briefly to few people from DXP who were my Facebook friends at that time.

If the Scorp did make it up, he would be the biggest a-hole and if that's the case, OP will find out eventually. There's no need to rush.

It is just highly likely for OP to loose a good man due to jumping to conclusions based on bad assumptions.

I've helped women who have experienced this kind of behavior but the person who posted this thread has confirmed this is a real, I've apologized.

I think in these situations, fake or not, it doesn't hurt for the other party to be more empathetic of the grieving party. You could make someone's day by being there for them. If it's a fake, then that person was a bad apple to begin with. That would really sux for the other party on the receiving end. Really .. really sux. 😢 But that other party would have to come to terms with that reality sooner or later... that the person they love or like or care about is a bad apple, and that the event that person made up, isn't really relevant in the bigger picture, imo.

Hope that made sense.

click to expand

Posted by tiki33

Posted by CancerCookie
Long one...Me and this guy met online, chatted and exchanged pics for about a month. Went on vacation to where he's from a trip that was pre planned and the reason we even met on tinder. Spent only two days with him bc I had my trip planned as noted. We had an amazing date lots of really deep conversation and spent the night together...no sex but plenty of kissing and touching. I wasn't going to sleep with someone I wasn't sure I'd see again and he was completely ok with that saying we had plenty of time and even more reason to keep seeing each other. I get home and the whirlwind begins skyping everyday lots of I miss u and can't wait to see you again. The STARE is real! We decided we'd see each other again in Nov. and would communicate no less than every other day but usually every. He told me he loved me 3 weeks after I returned from the trip I couldn't say it back not bc I didn't feel I was falling but bc I felt it was too early and cancers guard their hearts. I did explain that I was falling for him but needed time to be sure and he accepted that and we continued. Two weeks after that I say it back and he's ecstatic. I feel I'm dreaming with how this relationship is going. Two weeks later his sibling tragically dies. This is where things, naturally so, fall apart! I'm completely supportive tell him to take as much time as he needs focus on him n family. I continue sending support every few days and telling him to skype me to just let me know if he's ok and see his face. Good or bad I just wanted to be there for him. A month and a week go by with no communication other than my messages to which he replied to most not all, thanks so much I miss u will try to skype you, but doesn't. This may sound self centered but the only reason I was bothered was bc I noticed he would still be online all day even late hrs of the night even during this time. Times we would always be talking, but never saying anything not even hey things r hard will be in touch when I can etc. I send some long emotional message a week ago about how I just want to know he's ok and doesn't have to be so distant,if he wants to just be friends that's fine but don't shut me out...I know I regret saying that now...but he responds and says hell call that night. He did and we talked for 30 mins...he apologized said he was having a hard time with the loss, just needed space but that still wants this to work and will communicate more. That was a week ago nothing since. I'm not sure if he's just being nice at that point but is done, if he's still grieving and that's the reason, seeing someone else or if I've been too pushy with my trying to be supportive. I won't reach out again bc my brain says not to...he continues being online all throughout the days up to 2 am on work days. Some advice from you scorpios particularly men would ease my heart a bit even if it's the truth!!! ?

Something doesn't sit right.

Did someone truly die tragically? All you need is to the person's name and look up the obituary online to make sure his story checks out. Do you have access to any of his social networks for example Facebook or Instagram b/c usually the news of the death should be filled with condolences.

So a few scenarios going on.

1. Family member met s tragic demise and he's using the tragedy to move on.

2. He lied, nobody died but he needed a way out.

3. He met someone else and is too chicken shit to admit it.

4. The death is real and the grieving is real.

If he's online up until 2am then that is your answer. He's making time to communicate with someone other than you which should be your queue to let go.

Send one final text, nothing long and drawn out. Send your condolences and then extend an olive branch to communicate by letting him know if he need you you'll be there for him, just call or text and then get on with your life, get offline for a couple of weeks so you can stop chasing him mentally and emotionally and get yourself groundef mentally and emotionally. Once he sense hour gone he may decide to stop running away and turn around and reach out to you.

One thing you absolutely do know is that he's gone for whatever reason be it a death or not interested anymore

click to expand

Posted by CancerCookie
I thought I was a cynical but some of you take the cake! The death was real don't know how many times I have to state this...I have pics of the tomb were FB friends,profile pic was changed to brother over 1000 condolence comments sent we don't live in the same country so why would a 1000 people say sorry if it wasn't a real death? Bc they're all in on it? Wow...

Posted by CancerCookie
No one is raring at you...would make sense to read the string before commenting but hey that's just me. Yes we're in diff countries n I visited there before knowing him bc I was planning on relocating. Thanks for ur input ?Wouldn't have posted the topic if I had issue with other people's opinions.

Posted by CancerCookie
You should drop off the feed bc it's obvious you're just here to troll...in a very passive aggressive way. People that insult message board grammar have nothing to do...it's not a policy paper which I write for governments and no one is trying to impress you. Ur lame 😉 Have a great day!