Dating Etiquette

Alright, per everyone's suggestion, I started going out on dates. However I am not interested in the two guys that I've been on dates with. But they both asked me out on a second date this weekend. I told both guys that I am simply dating and meeting new people and just having fun.

My question is this: A co-worker of mine says that it's not cool to continue to go out on dates with these two guys if I don't like them in that way.

Am I doing this wrong?

P.S. Now that I'm dating, it's a little frustrating because neither one of these guys have actually picked up the phone and asked me for a date. Both guys did this via text messaging. Which is exactly why I'm not taking either of them seriously. Has the dating game dwindled down to text-dating?!?!?! Irritates me to no end!

In my scorpion oppinion, getting to know people is a stage before being in a relationship. You must get to know a person first, to know if you want to continue seing them or not. Sooooo. I disagree with your co-worker. You are hanging out having fun, you don't have to want to be in a relationship with either of these guys to hang out and have fun with them (IMO, there is always room to gain new friends).

I think you should go out with them both, unless they just completely turn you off. I admire that you made it clear to them both where you stand (a girl after my own heart). There is no harm in hanging out. I have male friends who were initially interested in being more than friends, there was no chemistry for me and I didn't like them in that way, but they were good guys, so we remained friends.

You never know why people come and go in your life. Take it with stride... Enjoy life 🙂 And losen up!!!

**In my scorpion oppinion***

In my scorpion opinion.

I agree QS on the continue dating but In my Scropio opinion...I would not like a man asking me out on a date via text...come on there is no etiquette at all with that, thats like them comeing to pick you up and blowing the horn for you to come outside instead of being a man and knocking on the door...

SouthernT if you are open enough to tell them that you are just having fun dating and just being friends with them then you should be open enough to tell them if they want to continue going out with you they need to call you like a MAN would do...Text msg is just a piss poor excuse to me....

SouthernT don't let them do that to you.....hell I was going to see my scrop friend he came down the stairs to meet me at the door...took my bags and walked me up the stairs open his door to my coat off said make yourself comfortable etc...know to me that is a man with some etiquette.

This is just my Honest Opinion

"My question is this: A co-worker of mine says that it's not cool to continue to go out on dates with these two guys if I don't like them in that way. "

"I told both guys that I am simply dating and meeting new people and just having fun."

Personally I can't go out with someone that I don't feel any type of chemistry with, that's a waste of my time.

So if you don't like them like that you are just going out to have something to do?

What are you going to do if they try to kiss you or something tell them you don't like them like that? Then you are going to fuck up their ego's and have more drama.

Don't you know that when you go out with guys who takes you out all the time especially in the beggining eventually they are going to expect you to sleep with them after all the money they are spend taking you out...

Don't underestimate a man and his kindness there is always something behind it.

Texting really bothers me at times as well. However, the Virg guy does it a lot, but he also calls especially when we are going out. When he came to my house, he wanted to talk until he got there, his excuse: to make sure he didn't get lost (he lives in my neighborhood, so I know that wasn't really the case LOL!).

I agree with the texting thing. Tell them to call.

However, texting seems to be the new wave of communicatons these days. There was even a special segment about it on the news a few weeks ago. My bosses would rather text me than call. It sometimes drives me nuts...

"Don't underestimate a man and his kindness there is always something behind it."

"That's just negative thinking. There are people who are simply genuine. I think we would like to think otherwise because the rest of the people aren't so good at heart."

That was not a negative statement or thought...it;s the damn trust sure not all men are out for the same thing but they are out for something as is women....

GOM, I agree that there are a few good men/people left. But you are on a roll today! LOL!!! 🙂

"So if you don't like them like that you are just going out to have something to do?"

EXACTLY! You see, I am basically to the point to were I simply DON'T GIVE A RATS A@@ about anybody but myself. Sad but true. While I know that I dont like either one of these guys, it's just a way to kill time. You guys know who I REALLY like, but I can't and won't put my life on hold and wait. So the way I see it: Do exactly what men do us women. Hang out with a person that you have no interest in and just kill time until somebody else comes along that gives you that romantic feeling.

It's either do this, or sit at home bored and lonely and with my mind constantly thinking about the guy that I really do like.

And the whole text-a-date crap- I know that it's completley disrespectful. Which is why I would never fall for either one of the guys ever. In my opinion, neither one of them are serious about me either if they are texting and not calling me. They both lost my respect from doing that.

***Do exactly what men do us women. Hang out with a person that you have no interest in and just kill time until somebody else comes along that gives you that romantic feeling.***

LOL!!! But sometimes this could come back and bite you in the ass. You just might start falling for one of them. I have seen it happen. 😉 I normally know if I can see myself with a person or not after the first date.

yeah...ya'll are about to see a "sweet-little-Virgo-gone-SERIOUSLY-BAD" So sad. So sad. LOL!!

Well SouthernT with an attitude like that you had better have a back bone for it....you need to keep it real with them and yourself....don't play yourself short...the name of the game is DO YOU....I have been doing me for years and ther is a lot more to it then just not giving a rats ass....because no matter how you look at it...you are going to haveing feelings for someone and then what.....that's why you need to make sure your heart and feeings are protected at all time....

my favorite quote: "Don't Hate the Player Hate the Game"

if you are not ready to play the game to fake like you are you will get hurt...

on the flip side...ENJOY GIRL.....

scorpius

only you would say that.....just let me now where you mind is you idiot.....🙂

all I can do is laugh.......

***"I have been doing me for years"

You must have arthwritis by now! You righty or lefty?***

Okay, Michael, Scorpius, Mr. Negative. You are killing me!!!

SouthernT Scorpiolady is right.

When I didn't want a relationship I was good at just hanging out getting to know guys, casualy dating, an FWB here and there.

Now that I am interested in something serious, I have a whole different ball game going. It definitely is a difference.

"if you are not ready to play the game to fake like you are you will get hurt..."

Yep you're right about that. And really am hating the game right now...lol. I don't have intentions on using them for money or gifts. Nothing like that. Just dinner and conversation. No sex, no FWB type of thing either.

"Now that I am interested in something serious, I have a whole different ball game going. It definitely is a difference."

I want something serious, I'm just kinda hanging out until I come across somebody who makes me feel that way AND who feels that way in return. 🙂 🙂

ST, I hear you... Make friends in between...

Yep you're right about that. And really am hating the game right now...lol. I don't have intentions on using them for money or gifts. Nothing like that. Just dinner and conversation. No sex, no FWB type of thing either.

SouthernT I don't think you get it yet...."just dinner and conversaton" that dinner is gonna cost you in the sheets the conversations will come during dinner...I am giving you fair warning about this....YOUR GONNA HAVE TO PAY UP IN THE BED....and if you dont they are going to leave you so be ready for it.....I am just tring to help

NO WOMAN IS EXPECTED TO HAVE SEX JUST BECAUSE a man paid for her dinner.

That is an unrealistic expectation that most men have so Scorpionlady is right in that sense BUT you DO NOT have to have sex or even kiss them. Men are stupid anyways, if they pay for a dinner and expect sex that means they are paying for sex when they really could get it for free. Lots of chickenheads out there will give it for free if you give them attention.

If he expects sex after a few dates, and leaves because he doesn't get it --> he isn't worth the sweat off your back cause that means he wasn't looking for anything beyond sex or liked you enough to wait for sex.

"SouthernT I don't think you get it yet...."just dinner and conversaton" that dinner is gonna cost you in the sheets the conversations will come during dinner...I am giving you fair warning about this....YOUR GONNA HAVE TO PAY UP IN THE BED....and if you dont they are going to leave you so be ready for it.....I am just tring to help"

And I thank very much for the heads up. But dang....what is a girl supposed to do? Sit around lonely and bored until I meet somebody that I have feelings for? (someone other than the scorpio guy I'm into?) Just trying to get out there and meet people. So are you saying just go on one date with a guy and decline the rest of his date offers? I've been single and havent even much as kissed a guy in two years and it's starting to take it's toll on a girl. Know what I mean?

P-Angel...WHERE ARE YOU!?!?!?

Well, you know what I'm going to say ..

"Men are stupid anyways, if they pay for a dinner and expect sex that means they are paying for sex when they really could get it for free."

CapAngel .. that cracked me up 😛



Southern .. Don't worry, there won't be any expectations of sex so long as you don't flaunt yourself in a promiscious fashion. Women who think this are the ones who carry themselves with their mannerism to subtley seduce men .. just so they can turn around and believe that men are pursuing them.

Men aren't stupid by any means .. when it comes to women playing for them. How you present yourself, is a reflection.

On one hand .. I think it's great that you're getting out there to play the field, however, I was a little disturbed when you said that you were purposely going to use them, suggesting that it was some kind of punishment for all the men out there who hurt women. That's not really fair, since not every man is going to screw a woman over.

However, you told them up-front that you weren't into anything serious and just dating the field .. so, you were honest with them and a guy can't ask for more than that in the beginning.

Southern .. the main thing is that you grow/heal from your emotional injuries. Just make sure in so doing, that you don't create baggage and think that another man is responsible for the grief that another man caused you. It's hard .. being an emotional female, I know how hard it is to let it go and face a new person with a new face that doesn't reflect the pain inside.

You're gonna make it 🙂🙂 Everyday will bring you closer to being free of him in your mind.

As far as texting .. I don't see this as an issue.

If it was a boyfriend .. that would be different. But, they're just guys that you are dating and you have said that there isn't any feelings for them.

If they are just casual men to you, who don't really mean anything, then I'm not sure why they should be held (from their intentions) as being more sensitive to you by using a phone to contact you.

It's like .. wondering why they aren't more concerned about your feelings by using the phone .. while you don't have a serious interest in them anyway. You have to remember that what you present is reflecting back to you. If you told them that you're not serious, nor have any interests .. then from another persons interpretation of those sentiments = casual = texts.