Humor

The Scorpio Character Portrait

You got into computers early so you could use made-up, bulls**t terminology and get away with it. Most hackers are Scorpios, as are most people who think they're going to find fame on a chat board.

You embarrass Libras because you like your coffee straight out of the bag, eaten with a spoon. You may have actually snorted Chock Full o' Nuts at one time in your life. You take your paranoid beatnik approach to life very seriously. Many Scorpios have found ways to successfully smoke in the shower.

Your number-one grudge is about never having been abducted by aliens, or being the victim of a government conspiracy. Most of those fake virus warnings or cash offers from Bill Gates are your attempt to stir something up.

Ironically, Bill Gates is a Scorpio. The fully-automated barracks he lives in should clear up any doubt.

Your master plan for world domination will never work because it involves you at the helm. It is hard for you to accept that Star Trek is fiction, and you are not a Borg leader.

Scorpios use expletives to describe philosophical concepts.

It's no wonder that Halloween falls smack in the middle of the Scorpio range. This is the only time of year when fake hauntings, sugar-induced hysteria, and impersonating Dr. Who won't get you arrested.

Scorpios have strong sex drives, because it gives them yet another opportunity to smoke.

Scorpios have much advice to give on matters that are of no concern to them. If you want to find out if someone is a Scorpio, ask them a pertinent question. Five minutes of silence later, the answer will be "I'm sorry, what?"

Scorpios are often hairy and feel that this makes them more virile. This is especially true of Scorpio women.

Scorpios cheat at the lottery. If it's automated, they can hack it.

lol...wow, that's fricking hilarious, haha 😛

Everything is true to some degree except the hairy thing. LOL, I hate hair, I don't mind some on men but you get the idea. I found all the smoking references to be particularly applicable to me. lol. Oh and the finding fame in a chat room or whatever...hmm, not so much, hate chat rooms. And I'm not so much a "hacker" as a "helpful checker of boyfriend's email"....LOL!! 😛

F'cking helarious, especially the first few lines. You forgot the fact that they are all drama queens!

I think I am going to get zapped for that! Meant in the nicest possible way of course...

I thought Libras were the drama queens! lol 😉

I'm sooooo NOT a drama queen, says Phoenix as she stomps forcefully out of the room...hehehe

i heard gemini's are drama queens *cough* wouldnt be surprised

LoL pheonix