What are the reasons you would do it?
Ignoring
Someone was being an absolute asshole.
No I don't feel bad for doing it. When I do it, it's usually after a ton of bullshit, tolerating too much of their crap, and I'm just done with them. Let them suffer and feel emotionally abused. Chances are they're such a dick head that they deserve it.
Ignoring is for those who I just choose not to waste time on anymore and they don't deserve any more of it and I won't bother acknowledging their existence.
But that's Aries ice for ya.
No I don't feel bad for doing it. When I do it, it's usually after a ton of bullshit, tolerating too much of their crap, and I'm just done with them. Let them suffer and feel emotionally abused. Chances are they're such a dick head that they deserve it.
Ignoring is for those who I just choose not to waste time on anymore and they don't deserve any more of it and I won't bother acknowledging their existence.
But that's Aries ice for ya.
pacifist
Personally, the only times I ignore is when someone is constantly contacting me. Or they just contacting me more than I would like to hear from them. I need my space.
Classic sag.
Classic sag.
If I'm hurt, confused, angry or all of the above...
Generally if I need time and space to figure it (^) out
Generally if I need time and space to figure it (^) out
(really should be 'all of the to the left... Not above) 😄
Posted by Andalusia
What are the reasons you would do it?
Human nature and ALL signs if ^^^that is going on the person isn't into you.
If someone is really into you, YOU WILL NOT BE IGNORED.
Some people say "you'll do for now" and will ignore until they have an urge to contact.
It all comes down to what you settle for and what you believe your self worth is.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Someone was being an absolute asshole.
No I don't feel bad for doing it. When I do it, it's usually after a ton of bullshit, tolerating too much of their crap, and I'm just done with them. Let them suffer and feel emotionally abused. Chances are they're such a dick head that they deserve it.
Ignoring is for those who I just choose not to waste time on anymore and they don't deserve any more of it and I won't bother acknowledging their existence.
But that's Aries ice for ya.
Posted by starlover
If someone is behaving like an idiot and isn't learning their lessons, then i will just ignore them
intelligent people ignoreclick to expand
Takes too much energy to play games. If someone fucks up and I want nothing to do with them anymore...I tell them. YOU FUCKED UP..I'm done with you. If they choose to attempt contact, they will realize I meant what I said. "Intelligent people" know this.
Posted by arietteheart2
Water signs do it if they have hinted at something repeatedly or told you flat out that they don't like the treatment/behavior/habit..and you keep doing it. Ignoring is a last resort for you to urgently figure that shit out on your own.
bingo
Either because there is nothing else to say to the person (e.g. we've broken up) or the person has refused to respect my wish/request to give me space or leave me alone for a period of time. I only ask once and do not like to repeat myself. If you can't respect my need for solitude, I will not respect your desire to have my attention. Especially if I have communicated what I need in a respectful way. In situations like that, you are telling me a lot about the type of person you are and often just reinforcing why I am taking space.
I'm not like some people that say they want space and expect you the still "check in" to let me know you still care etc. That sounds like a lot of wishy washy game playing and testing. I mean what I say and say what I mean.
Sometimes it can be as simple as I'm busy or taking space and didn't receive your message. Too many people try to communicate through text/electronically and assume the message got through. Is that my problem or yours?
When I am busy or need time alone I cut off all unnecessary "noise". All my energy goes into my work and me and I will ignore all others things (phone is shut off, don't check email, etc) until I am ready to reconnect with the world. This tends to apply to friends vs a SO because friends usually do not get the heads up before this happens.
Silence gives me peace and helps me recharge.
I'm not like some people that say they want space and expect you the still "check in" to let me know you still care etc. That sounds like a lot of wishy washy game playing and testing. I mean what I say and say what I mean.
Sometimes it can be as simple as I'm busy or taking space and didn't receive your message. Too many people try to communicate through text/electronically and assume the message got through. Is that my problem or yours?
When I am busy or need time alone I cut off all unnecessary "noise". All my energy goes into my work and me and I will ignore all others things (phone is shut off, don't check email, etc) until I am ready to reconnect with the world. This tends to apply to friends vs a SO because friends usually do not get the heads up before this happens.
Silence gives me peace and helps me recharge.
Posted by IrresistableScorp
Define "ignoring."
I was going to echo TS. It might just be a few days of non-talking. Honestly, I crave non-talking occasionally, it helps settle things so I can go back in with peace of mind. I do this with friends, family everyone??_
Maybe it comes across as ignoring which is unfortunate because it really isn't. But we may need more details...
This thread is in regards to the Scorpio I have been seeing. We dated previously; broke up two years ago; reconnected briefly a year ago, but he said he wasn't ready to be in a relationship, so we agreed to part ways and go no contact.
That lasted up until February-March of this year when we started talking again. We got to texting back and forth and he mentioned how good it was to hear from me, and how we had always been able to have great conversation, and how he loved the fact that he could completely be himself around me, etc. Then he asked if he could come over to my house and talk in person, or if I would meet him out for a drink. But by this point, it was midnight, so I said no; I needed more advance notice, but I would let him know when I was free.
He responded that he completely understood and he was okay with that and would remember in the future.
I ended up texting him a week or so after ^^^ that, saying I was going to happy hour if he still wanted to grab a drink. He was busy when I texted him, but responded back and invited me to meet him and some of his friends out later.
I went and met him and we talked. He told me.. a lot of things... Mainly:
-I was the best relationship he'd ever had, and the only "real" relationship he considered himself as having been in; despite the fact he was previously married.
-He apologized for "fucking everything up with me"... That he was too young (23) to appreciate me when we started dating, and he was still dealing with the break-up of his marriage, and he got freaked out by his feelings for me because of how his marriage had ended..
-He explained how he can't do "casual hook-ups", and how it kind of sucked because he would get horny and have sex and then end up in a relationship that he didn't want to be in with a person he didn't want to be with. That his ex wife and me were the only 2 relationships he'd actually wanted.
continued:
After that, we kept talking, with increasing frequency, but didn't hang out again until May, despite me extending him invitations. He finally DID ask and then take me out, at which point he said he'd been holding off on seeing me because he wanted to make sure communication and emotional intimacy were re-established before physical intimacy - and he knew that if he was near me in person, that the physical part would be distracting to him.
He also said that he'd done a lot of thinking and realized I was exactly who/what he wanted and needed.. That he had a mental checklist for what he wanted in a partner and that I "checked every single box".. That he knew I could be demanding, blunt, and somewhat high maintenance, but that he didn't see those things as negative or "something he'd just have to deal with", rather, he saw them as assets. He also said that if we started something again he saw it going long term, but that he wanted to open his own restaurant so we would probably "never have a lot of money" and "was I okay with that?". I told him I was; that I didn't need or expect a lot of money.
So anyways.. we started dating again. Things were going well for about a month. The end of May-beginning of June, things in his work and family situations started to get stressful. We didn't see each other at all, but were still talking and texting, although on a less frequent basis. He repeatedly thanked me for being so understanding and patient with him and how it "really meant a lot to him" that I was there for him during both of the shittiest times in his life.
After about a month, I expressed to him that I knew he had a lot on his plate, but asked if we could arrange a time to see each other because not spending any quality time with him made me sad. He made plans to see me the next evening. I waited until about 11 pm to hear from him, but never did.
At which point I then called (no answer) and sent a couple angry/hurt text messages basically stating how immature and inconsiderate it was to completely blow me off. That if something else had come up, all he had to do was TELL me. He texted me a day or two later to say "Hey I'm sorry. I lost my phone."
We have only talked twice since then, the last time being 3-4 weeks ago when he told me, among other things, that he "will probably always run away because there is something whole and complete about you and it scares me". I then told him he was stuck with me and he said "I'm totally cool with that 🙂"
He also said that he'd done a lot of thinking and realized I was exactly who/what he wanted and needed.. That he had a mental checklist for what he wanted in a partner and that I "checked every single box".. That he knew I could be demanding, blunt, and somewhat high maintenance, but that he didn't see those things as negative or "something he'd just have to deal with", rather, he saw them as assets. He also said that if we started something again he saw it going long term, but that he wanted to open his own restaurant so we would probably "never have a lot of money" and "was I okay with that?". I told him I was; that I didn't need or expect a lot of money.
So anyways.. we started dating again. Things were going well for about a month. The end of May-beginning of June, things in his work and family situations started to get stressful. We didn't see each other at all, but were still talking and texting, although on a less frequent basis. He repeatedly thanked me for being so understanding and patient with him and how it "really meant a lot to him" that I was there for him during both of the shittiest times in his life.
After about a month, I expressed to him that I knew he had a lot on his plate, but asked if we could arrange a time to see each other because not spending any quality time with him made me sad. He made plans to see me the next evening. I waited until about 11 pm to hear from him, but never did.
At which point I then called (no answer) and sent a couple angry/hurt text messages basically stating how immature and inconsiderate it was to completely blow me off. That if something else had come up, all he had to do was TELL me. He texted me a day or two later to say "Hey I'm sorry. I lost my phone."
We have only talked twice since then, the last time being 3-4 weeks ago when he told me, among other things, that he "will probably always run away because there is something whole and complete about you and it scares me". I then told him he was stuck with me and he said "I'm totally cool with that 🙂"
So. Pineapples, to answer your question "define ignoring"....: 3-4 weeks of absolutely nothing.
Although.... he did show up at my work July 4th weekend.. He knew I was there too, cause he called before he came and I answered the phone.
Although.... he did show up at my work July 4th weekend.. He knew I was there too, cause he called before he came and I answered the phone.
Okay, Melly you know I adore you, all this ^^^^would not be answered by asking the board this:
We don't know the context. I means seriously, did any of our replies provide you with any solace? You're not a new kid on the block M&Ms *spank butt*.
Anyway, he's told you what's going on (indirectly and directly) and you need to simply ask him if he thinks he can overcome his fears. You also need to be very clear in letting him know that although you understand his behaviour (to an extent), you also have things you require. Be clear in what those are. Namely, if he needs to step back, then he needs to communicate this verbally like an adult. He's not a child.
I think your reply "you stuck with me" was sweet, but it lets him off too easy. Meaning, you should have had an honest conversation about what that will look like and how you can work through it together. Maybe you did?
Does "running" mean he needs reassurance when he feels insecure? Space to think and sort things out when things get overwhelming? What are the signs that his fears are creeping up again? Missed phone calls? Cancelled plans, or will thse be legitimate excuses when they occur, so you're not overthinking what his behaviour could mean this week. Does he even know what it looks like when he's starting to get scared? I didn't for a long time. I use to push people away, so they would take space from me.
My only point is, I get you want to be all supportive of this guy, but it shouldn't be at the expense of your needs and feelings.
Posted by Andalusia
What are the reasons you would do it?
We don't know the context. I means seriously, did any of our replies provide you with any solace? You're not a new kid on the block M&Ms *spank butt*.
Anyway, he's told you what's going on (indirectly and directly) and you need to simply ask him if he thinks he can overcome his fears. You also need to be very clear in letting him know that although you understand his behaviour (to an extent), you also have things you require. Be clear in what those are. Namely, if he needs to step back, then he needs to communicate this verbally like an adult. He's not a child.
I think your reply "you stuck with me" was sweet, but it lets him off too easy. Meaning, you should have had an honest conversation about what that will look like and how you can work through it together. Maybe you did?
Does "running" mean he needs reassurance when he feels insecure? Space to think and sort things out when things get overwhelming? What are the signs that his fears are creeping up again? Missed phone calls? Cancelled plans, or will thse be legitimate excuses when they occur, so you're not overthinking what his behaviour could mean this week. Does he even know what it looks like when he's starting to get scared? I didn't for a long time. I use to push people away, so they would take space from me.
My only point is, I get you want to be all supportive of this guy, but it shouldn't be at the expense of your needs and feelings.
*"your stuck with me"
If someone has crossed the line with me to Fuckoffville, I'll directly but politely request that they stop contacting me.
If they're dense enough to persist anyway, then I simply ignore those jokers. Unless it's to threaten them with a restraining order.
What I don't get is when people are all smiles and sunshine and then they just ignore out of nowhere. It comes off as such a desperate power play, and I really don't have time for that.
It's kind of amusing when those same people chase you down later on demanding to know why you didn't chase them down! The outrage! 😆
If they're dense enough to persist anyway, then I simply ignore those jokers. Unless it's to threaten them with a restraining order.
What I don't get is when people are all smiles and sunshine and then they just ignore out of nowhere. It comes off as such a desperate power play, and I really don't have time for that.
It's kind of amusing when those same people chase you down later on demanding to know why you didn't chase them down! The outrage! 😆
I used to never ignore people when they would attempt to contact me because I found that to be extremely rude. Fast forward to present time, I've come to realize that some people simply just don't deserve your time. If someone has really fucked up big time to the point I've lost complete respect for them, then they are cut off for good. I will not offer closure or an explanation to those who have really crossed the line and it takes a lot to get me there.
I saw this and I don't know if this will make you smile...probably not today, but maybe on another day:
Posted by Lhasa
scorp to virgo
Posted by Andalusia
So. Pineapples, to answer your question "define ignoring"....: 3-4 weeks of absolutely nothing.
Needs repeating...
Posted by LetltBPosted by Andalusia
What are the reasons you would do it?
Human nature and ALL signs if ^^^that is going on the person isn't into you.
If someone is really into you, YOU WILL NOT BE IGNORED.
Some people say "you'll do for now" and will ignore until they have an urge to contact.
It all comes down to what you settle for and what you believe your self worth is.click to expand
So...are you going to settle for that bullshit?
Posted by LetltBPosted by Andalusia
What are the reasons you would do it?
Human nature and ALL signs if ^^^that is going on the person isn't into you.
If someone is really into you, YOU WILL NOT BE IGNORED.
Some people say "you'll do for now" and will ignore until they have an urge to contact.
It all comes down to what you settle for and what you believe your self worth is.click to expand
I've been ruminating on this since you posted it. Mostly because logically, I realize it's common sense. I also realized that, based on the bolded concept above, I don't think anyone has ever really "liked" me or "loved" me or "been really into" me. At least not for any significant amount of time... Which then makes me wonder what I project and how I come across.
Posted by IrresistableScorp
At the risk of sounding too forgiving of this scorp, have you considered that his retreat is due to a feeling of failing you in some way? Just a thought.
Possibly..? The last time we talked, he did make a comment somewhere along the lines of "I'm sorry I'm not [more/enough] of a man for you". I told him that I had never seen him as "less of" a man or not masculine enough; that I had always seen him as my equal and my counterpart. But that *my* views of him didn't really matter if that's the view he had of himself. That it was frustrating, because as an outsider who loved him looking in, I could see his views of himself reflected in some of his actions/choices/friends, etc.
Posted by VivaciousScorpio
I only saw the thread title.
LMAO!!!!!
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
sag moon moments......click to expand
I love 'em! 😄
PR, my mythical songbird: I have to think about what you wrote. Then re-read it. Then think about it again. Your posts are always insightful and well crafted. I always feel the need to savor their flavor.
^^ good plan, she's a wise soul and I think she's hit a few nails on their respective heads.
I usually ignore people I hate, dislike or find annoying.
It takes alot to get me to the level of me not wanting to be int he same room with you but its usually people who are just generally not nice people. I ignore those who are:
- Egotistical
- All about image
- Mean
- Spiteful
- Whine non stop daily (for no reason at all)
- Clingy
- Ignores me first
- Arrogant
- Conceited
- Cocky
etc.
It takes alot to get me to the level of me not wanting to be int he same room with you but its usually people who are just generally not nice people. I ignore those who are:
- Egotistical
- All about image
- Mean
- Spiteful
- Whine non stop daily (for no reason at all)
- Clingy
- Ignores me first
- Arrogant
- Conceited
- Cocky
etc.
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