ihaveavoice2
@ihaveavoice2
10 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 55 · Topics: 4
Is this how i treat people as a scorpio i wonder..help
Thank you for your honest advice. I appreciate it and you are mainly right..to be clear and clarify..90% of our discussions was not sex. I said while we did talk about that and there was that attraction…much of our conversations were talking heavily about things we share of interest..whether it be our fitness routine, our diet to rid bad food and increase our proteins, or whether it be history (which we both study a lot) or political corruption or economic injustice. He is far smarter then me with these things and while I have interest in all them, I have learned so much from speaking with him..hence this is what I became attached to..his mind. I wanted the sex but I could talk to him and be his friend without it. I don’t stalk his social media but it just so happened he had messaged me day before and I commented back the next day with a good morning and then the first post when I signed in was him saying Good morning to social media world so I put it as a joke..nothing like that every came up before and I found funny at that time but quickly corrected it and apologized.
Posted by YellowSubmarine
I don't know why it didn't post my response.. anyhow, here you go:
Very few men have it in them to admit that to a woman's face. (the bolded part of your post)
Regardless, in your previous post about this guy, you said your conversation was 90% sexual.. what did you expect?
The pull back on his end is to make sure you don’t get too attached. And you following him around on social media, commenting about how he didn’t respond in a private conversation that is meant for just you two, attests to your attachment.
No man, even if he’s not committed, will want a woman he’s had to then go around taking it from others.. that’s why he asked who you were with. Especially because he thought you looked great.
Not to devalue your mental connection, but his priority is meeting up with you again to “make it happen again” .. he wants you, so take it for what it is, and decide if you want to meet him again.
well see that is the thing..i dont care about the sex. I just like the mind connection. I am attached to his mind and the deep conversations we have (that are non sexual) I want no more than that..i was cool with the weekend of intimacy adn it is him who comes back talking and flirting on that level with me. Its certainly my own fault for involving sex in first place. Thank you for your respond and you prob right i need to slowly fade away and stop allowing him to pull me back into this ride. I be chilling and busy and its him who comes back to me. And then this whole feelin repeats all over again.
Posted by FrostAndBite
You can have a connection and like someone and want to have sex with them but not commit to them, which is what he seems to be doing. You have affection for him beyond a casual connection. So it's in your best interest to try and fade away as politely as possible.
If you can't though, start treating him exactly as you would a platonic casual female friend or acquaintance. Fake it till you make it. Eventually with time and emotional distance, you'll get over it. Stop analyzing what he's doing, searching for meaning. The only thing that means something, is that he plainly doesn't want the same things as you do from the relationship.
Yes sadly.... I am one and I see alot of me in him. Its quite scary. Everyone seems to think that it is me who wants more than a casual connection but honestly that is all i want. He is the one with problem cause why go back to sex talk or ask who i am with on vacation? Why call me your baby? If its just sex, say just sex...its not like i am acting like i want to be his girl. I just enjoy truly talking with this man on a mental level. i mean its been 10 months, i am a human with feelings.
Posted by flowingwater
Yes, this is exactly what Scorpios can be like.
😢
Sad..
Thank you.. yes In the beginning it was much sexual talk and i updated as time went on to say we started realizing we share a lot in commong and really talking about a lot more other things...it got me all messed up in the head. I would prob be easier getting out this situation if it was 90% sexual. I am one of mental connnection before sex and as much as i want to rid him, i am finding it hard to completely rid him when he reaches out 😢 . I just wish things would go back to how they were before the sex or that i had the strenght to cut it off but he is a nice guy and a good friend and i care about how he is doing and dont want to be cold or mean either. I wonder if i should say and bring it up but he is not expressive at all. The few times he opened up about his feelings on anything was rare. It happened maybe 3x.
Posted by YellowSubmarine
The link is to your previous post which states that 90% of your conversation was sexual.
You are both right on that front. I agree it is where I need to head in the matter. The confusion lies in the actions. I don’t want a relationship either. Firstly we live miles apart so we would be luckily to get 2 weekends a month to see each other but what throws me off is if its just sex why oh why does he do this whole thing to ask who I am with? Even if I am dressed up to go out and post a pic going out, he thinks its with a man..why ask? It makes me feel weird when I post things like I am not someone who just goes out hooking up random men. And he calls me romantic nicknames all time. Isn’t that odd for someone who wouldn’t want you getting attached to them? I heard scorpio men like to string women around to see if they can mind fuck them and I just hope this isn’t case cause he seems like a genuine good friend and I would hate to think it wasn’t sincere.
Posted by YellowSubmarine
@ihaveavoice2
I meant your post from months ago - it states your conversation was 90% sexual. Here's the link: https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/scorpio/i-need-advice-a-scorpio-man-5419929/#5419930
Like I said, my intention wasn’t to devalue your mental connection – I’m not saying you’re just a piece of a meat to him. I’m saying the man doesn’t seem to be looking for a committed relationship at this time so he’s treading lightly so as not to have your feelings hurt.
I agree with @FrostAndBite as far as how you should handle it.
its has nothing to do with blinkers. he has made nothing crystal clear cause as i said in previous replies..we dont just talk or communicate on sex. I have even met his brothers the weekend i saw him. The confusion on my part comes from fact its not just sex being discussed and we do have deep conversations that do not equal someone who will jus say anything. Also he is very very attractive, smart and physically fit and gets loads women attn and he can have sex with anyone he wanted really..so why still 'sweettalk' the girl who lives miles and miles away for it? he could just find new prey and forget and stop talking to me but he choses not to,..so it still doesnt make sense.Posted by busyeyes88Posted by ihaveavoice2It's just talk OP!!!!! A man will say anything to get sex!! It's always the woman who misinterprets or lives in denial. SEX is ALL he wants from you and he has made it crystal clear!! Everyone can see it for what it is! Wo why can't you?! But you can!! You just prefer to put your "blinkers" on!
Yes sadly.... I am one and I see alot of me in him. Its quite scary. Everyone seems to think that it is me who wants more than a casual connection but honestly that is all i want. He is the one with problem cause why go back to sex talk or ask who i am with on vacation? Why call me your baby? If its just sex, say just sex...its not like i am acting like i want to be his girl. I just enjoy truly talking with this man on a mental level. i mean its been 10 months, i am a human with feelings.Posted by flowingwater
Yes, this is exactly what Scorpios can be like.
😢
Sad..click to expand
e wanted so dont take literally....but he can certainly pull more than a few local woman if he wanted without a strugglePosted by ihaveavoice2
lol sweetie its has nothing to do with blinkers. he has made nothing crystal clear cause as i said in previous replies..we dont just talk or communicate on sex. I have even met his brothers the weekend i saw him. The confusion on my part comes from fact its not just sex being discussed and we do have deep conversations that do not equal someone who will jus say anything. Also he is very very attractive, smart and physically fit and gets loads women attn and he can have sex with anyone he wanted really..so why still 'sweettalk' the girl who lives miles and miles away for it? he could just find new prey and forget and stop talking to me but he choses not to,..so it still doesnt make sense.Posted by busyeyes88Posted by ihaveavoice2It's just talk OP!!!!! A man will say anything to get sex!! It's always the woman who misinterprets or lives in denial. SEX is ALL he wants from you and he has made it crystal clear!! Everyone can see it for what it is! Wo why can't you?! But you can!! You just prefer to put your "blinkers" on!
Yes sadly.... I am one and I see alot of me in him. Its quite scary. Everyone seems to think that it is me who wants more than a casual connection but honestly that is all i want. He is the one with problem cause why go back to sex talk or ask who i am with on vacation? Why call me your baby? If its just sex, say just sex...its not like i am acting like i want to be his girl. I just enjoy truly talking with this man on a mental level. i mean its been 10 months, i am a human with feelings.Posted by flowingwater
Yes, this is exactly what Scorpios can be like.
😢
Sad..click to expand
and thank you. my questions wasnt about commitment so i dont know how many times i need to explain my question or maybe i was not clear. I was inquiring on the actions and talk that includes mixed signals from someone not looking for a woman attachment...I wanted to know why someone not looking attachment behaves in that way...that is all i was asking you. thank you again for all your replies and advice. I will take majority of the advice as i believe it is right way. Have a great day.Posted by YellowSubmarinePosted by ihaveavoice2OK, well, I don’t know how many times to say this but he’s not looking for a commitment
You are both right on that front. I agree it is where I need to head in the matter. The confusion lies in the actions. I don’t want a relationship either. Firstly we live miles apart so we would be luckily to get 2 weekends a month to see each other but what throws me off is if its just sex why oh why does he do this whole thing to ask who I am with? Even if I am dressed up to go out and post a pic going out, he thinks its with a man..why ask? It makes me feel weird when I post things like I am not someone who just goes out hooking up random men. And he calls me romantic nicknames all time. Isn’t that odd for someone who wouldn’t want you getting attached to them? I heard scorpio men like to string women around to see if they can mind fuck them and I just hope this isn’t case cause he seems like a genuine good friend and I would hate to think it wasn’t sincere.Posted by YellowSubmarine
@ihaveavoice2
I meant your post from months ago - it states your conversation was 90% sexual. Here's the link: https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/scorpio/i-need-advice-a-scorpio-man-5419929/#5419930
Like I said, my intention wasn’t to devalue your mental connection – I’m not saying you’re just a piece of a meat to him. I’m saying the man doesn’t seem to be looking for a committed relationship at this time so he’s treading lightly so as not to have your feelings hurt.
I agree with @FrostAndBite as far as how you should handle it.
He asks because he cares, but just because he cares doesn’t mean he’s attached. Get it?
He can’t just turn off the friendship so to speak, but he also can’t give you any security.. security that a lot of women expect after sex.click to expand
Good way look at it. Thank you.
Posted by FrostAndBite
Even if it's not about sex, you still want something of him than he's willing or capable to give to you, whatever you want to label it.
It's not a ride if you don't see it as one. It's just a guy you used to know hitting you up and you giving him the brush off.
That is a good way to think about it. Thank you. i will follow the advice and being to not dwell or question these actions. I will be glad will i hear from him that he is okay but will start to get myself out of the sexual advances so he can get the hint where i am coming from. Thanks again.
Posted by YellowSubmarine
@ihaveavoice2
Sorry, I come off harsh esp bc you can't sense tone on here.. he's just being himself, believe me. He's not thinking about this nearly as much as you are. He's being nice because he's not a monster. He's being nice because he still wants you around.. he wants you attached enough to be able to see you, but not so much that it feels like a relationship.
Sex changes the way ppl behave, so if you're fucking and then talking 24/7, what would that be? Basically a relationship.
Posted by ihaveavoice2Why can't you just BE a Scorp, to the Scorp?
Thank you.. yes In the beginning it was much sexual talk and i updated as time went on to say we started realizing we share a lot in commong and really talking about a lot more other things...it got me all messed up in the head. I would prob be easier getting out this situation if it was 90% sexual. I am one of mental connnection before sex and as much as i want to rid him, i am finding it hard to completely rid him when he reaches out 😢 . I just wish things would go back to how they were before the sex or that i had the strenght to cut it off but he is a nice guy and a good friend and i care about how he is doing and dont want to be cold or mean either. I wonder if i should say and bring it up but he is not expressive at all. The few times he opened up about his feelings on anything was rare. It happened maybe 3x.
Posted by YellowSubmarine
The link is to your previous post which states that 90% of your conversation was sexual.click to expand
Tell him what you just told us... it makes sense.
You don't need to be mentally corralled-- you're already there (like-minded).
It might work. o.O
@ScorpiosHarmony
Eep!
I meant to quote this:
Eep!
I meant to quote this:
Posted by ihaveavoice2However, yes... I agree with you on that.
Yes sadly.... I am one and I see alot of me in him. Its quite scary. Everyone seems to think that it is me who wants more than a casual connection but honestly that is all i want. He is the one with problem cause why go back to sex talk or ask who i am with on vacation? Why call me your baby? If its just sex, say just sex...its not like i am acting like i want to be his girl. I just enjoy truly talking with this man on a mental level. i mean its been 10 months, i am a human with feelings.
.. i havent said anything cause i dont want to hurt the friendship either. Even an occasional ''how are you'' or casual talk every now and again is meaningful and I dont want to make it awkward.Posted by ScorpiosHarmonyPosted by MontgomeryLet's face it, women usually don't confront the men they're involved in because they're afraid hearing answers they don't really want to hear...Posted by ihaveavoice2Why can't you just BE a Scorp, to the Scorp?
Thank you.. yes In the beginning it was much sexual talk and i updated as time went on to say we started realizing we share a lot in commong and really talking about a lot more other things...it got me all messed up in the head. I would prob be easier getting out this situation if it was 90% sexual. I am one of mental connnection before sex and as much as i want to rid him, i am finding it hard to completely rid him when he reaches out 😢 . I just wish things would go back to how they were before the sex or that i had the strenght to cut it off but he is a nice guy and a good friend and i care about how he is doing and dont want to be cold or mean either. I wonder if i should say and bring it up but he is not expressive at all. The few times he opened up about his feelings on anything was rare. It happened maybe 3x.
Posted by YellowSubmarine
The link is to your previous post which states that 90% of your conversation was sexual.
Tell him what you just told us... it makes sense.
You don't need to be mentally corralled-- you're already there (like-minded).
It might work. o.Oclick to expand
Thank you.... the mental connection is strong. I def think there is a hold. while there is no commitmemt thinking, which is fine, I think he cares about me as a person cause its not just talking about sex....But the sex is gonna have to go because with that will come other emotions should that continue and i am struggling just with this mental problem lol.
Posted by Arielle83
I would just go along with it. Good mental connection and sex. He's already showing the weird possession thing so you do have a hold on him.
Just bang and talk.
understand your view better, as it does focus on the most confusing part to me that not many ppl have addressed… Do you think possibly the nicknames, asking if I am with a man and bringing up the sexual desire (when we are in middle a convo of nothing to do with sex) is not a mind game but for fun cause he thinks it wont affect me? For example he texted me last week and said he wish I was there with him on the cold morning laying on his chest and something sexual. Getting better as ive been, I didn’t put hearts or flirt back..I put just a surprise emoji face and he was like ‘’you are surprised”? I said “just a little” and he put “sorry” with the emoji that looks like it is wondering what is going on with the thinking face..It is stuff Like I don’t get that… I am trying to pull away from the sex talk altogether. I go days or even 2 weeks (longest we went without speaking) and forget him. I stopped being first to reach out and say ‘’how are you’’ or send some recent political news….but when he reaches out I feel pulled back in the mind trap and wondering of what it means….
Posted by starwarsPosted by YellowSubmarine+1
I don't know why it didn't post my response.. anyhow, here you go:
Very few men have it in them to admit that to a woman's face. (the bolded part of your post)
Regardless, in your previous post about this guy, you said your conversation was 90% sexual.. what did you expect?
The pull back on his end is to make sure you don’t get too attached. And you following him around on social media, commenting about how he didn’t respond in a private conversation that is meant for just you two, attests to your attachment.
No man, even if he’s not committed, will want a woman he’s had to then go around taking it from others.. that’s why he asked who you were with. Especially because he thought you looked great.
Not to devalue your mental connection, but his priority is meeting up with you again to “make it happen again” .. he wants you, so take it for what it is, and decide if you want to meet him again.
and once YOU pulled back -after he pulled back first- he was relieved and maybe got the impression that you're not attached. and hes using all those romantic nicknames because he know or thinks that it wouldn't effect you. because you're not attached. - just to answer the "why he calls me romantic nicknames question"click to expand
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Please no name calling.