PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Mental Asylum of Utter Madness- 24/7 Stinger Home! (Page 45)
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In fairness I wasn't trying to ignore his question. I guess it just hit me *sh*t I'm doing the one thing I keep tell other people NOT to do....I need to stop that* so I was reflecting on why. I guess I just need to recognize it's not appropriate to stop mid conversations to have a moment of self reflection. Especially when someone is upset.... 😆
Posted by EllycakesI WILL CUT HIM!!!
Well I might as well have cancelled. 😐
Didn't hear from him all day. Sent a message over snapchat this morning. Sent him a text after I got to work.
Not a peep all day and I'm leaving work now.
Dating sucks. I'm over people being disrespectful of my time. Flake on me once ok. Second shot and flake on me again. No thanks.
Seriously! WTH?
Posted by EllycakesMust be the curse of the Cancer Sailor Moon. Attracting people who only want you when you're too arsed to care. Because heaven forbid they make a genuine connection! Oooohhh the horror!Posted by AndalusiaYeah idk. I think maybe I'm a magnet for people who don't know if they want to date or not lol. He be stalking my snaps and checked all of em. Even from tonight. But no word back.Posted by EllycakesI WILL CUT HIM!!!
Well I might as well have cancelled. 😐
Didn't hear from him all day. Sent a message over snapchat this morning. Sent him a text after I got to work.
Not a peep all day and I'm leaving work now.
Dating sucks. I'm over people being disrespectful of my time. Flake on me once ok. Second shot and flake on me again. No thanks.
Seriously! WTH?
It is what is though. People have their own shit to take care of. And I don't have the energy to analyze why some dude didn't text or call or whatever lol.
It's kind of a bummer. But I bounce back quicker now this has happened a time or two lol. I'll be golden by tomorrow. 🙂click to expand
Posted by EllycakesWhat an inconsiderate Wang. I hope he spills coffee on his foot and ruins his favorite pair of shoes.Posted by AndalusiaLOOOLLLPosted by EllycakesMust be the curse of the Cancer Sailor Moon. Attracting people who only want you when you're too arsed to care. Because heaven forbid they make a genuine connection! Oooohhh the horror!Posted by AndalusiaYeah idk. I think maybe I'm a magnet for people who don't know if they want to date or not lol. He be stalking my snaps and checked all of em. Even from tonight. But no word back.Posted by EllycakesI WILL CUT HIM!!!
Well I might as well have cancelled. 😐
Didn't hear from him all day. Sent a message over snapchat this morning. Sent him a text after I got to work.
Not a peep all day and I'm leaving work now.
Dating sucks. I'm over people being disrespectful of my time. Flake on me once ok. Second shot and flake on me again. No thanks.
Seriously! WTH?
It is what is though. People have their own shit to take care of. And I don't have the energy to analyze why some dude didn't text or call or whatever lol.
It's kind of a bummer. But I bounce back quicker now this has happened a time or two lol. I'll be golden by tomorrow. 🙂
Yeah. Smooth sailing and they're all talk about how excited they are to spend time together and get to know me and can't wait. Then a sudden left turn to nowheresville ha.
The leeb and Cap bestie say they'll be back. I think my coolness when they leave must intimidate them though cause I am never *graced* with a repeat appearance 😆
It'll be a week or two of awkwardness at Starbucks though. My coffeeeeeeeeeeeee!click to expand
And I agree with your besties. They always make a curtain call. It might not be soon or in the way you'd expect, but it will happen. It aaaaaallllways happens.
Posted by EllycakesAh I'm sorry Elly. We can plot something slow and torturous that will begin exactly 2 years from now when he thinks you've moved on from this incident....
Well I might as well have cancelled. 😐
Didn't hear from him all day. Sent a message over snapchat this morning. Sent him a text after I got to work.
Not a peep all day and I'm leaving work now.
Dating sucks. I'm over people being disrespectful of my time. Flake on me once ok. Second shot and flake on me again. No thanks.
#Scorpio style
Posted by AndalusiaYou have a touch too much fire in ya belly.....
I WILL CUT HIM!!!
Seriously! WTH?
...
Posted by Ellycakesbwhahahaha.
-There's a side of my personality he brings out that I didn't even realize in the moment. It makes me slightly uncomfortable lol.
Posted by Ellycakessmh. scorpios...
and it's rather disarming to me that I did lol.click to expand
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by AndalusiaYou have a touch too much fire in ya belly.....
I WILL CUT HIM!!!
Seriously! WTH?click to expand
...
I know. :/
It just burns me up though!
Posted by EllycakesYes! I am in the same boat.
I realize what it is that I have come to abhor about dating. In the three short months of really pursing the dating scene (as seen in the US), it 'destroyed' me.
Previously, I always felt like a strong willed, confident person. I saw myself as sharp, witty, talented, beautiful and personable. My outlook was always funny, optimistic and sincere.
And since having a few small experiences with dating, which all seem to match with my other single friends, I find myself devolving into a whimpering, anxiety ridden, doubting mess who's self esteem hinges on weak circumstances and even weaker people. That's why I suck at dating. Because the system is bullshit.
People are so god damn focused on keeping themselves protected, in power and in charge that no one truly can get to know who they are. So it's a ton of hurt people walking around hurting others until everyone whittles each other down to the bone. It's so sad that no one can simply be anymore.
I'm hitting the unsubscribe button though. My 11th house stellium says rules and conventions be damned, I make my own way in life, no need to live according to the cultural rules. If love finds its way back to me, great. But I'm not willing to sacrifice all my positive self and trade it in for a shittier inferior version of me on the off chance someone likes me.
It was fun in the beginning bc I was getting the attention I needed, more as a distraction. I didn't mind the inconsistency. Now I'm numb to the dating pool. Indifferent maybe. I just have become happy with me.
at least I'm not sad and longing for someone in the past, so I guess it was good for something. It makes you wonder about "love" these days
Posted by AndalusiaOne of the reasons I like you M&Ms...Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by AndalusiaYou have a touch too much fire in ya belly.....
I WILL CUT HIM!!!
Seriously! WTH?
I know. :/
It just burns me up though!click to expand
Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by AndalusiaOne of the reasons I like you M&Ms...Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by AndalusiaYou have a touch too much fire in ya belly.....
I WILL CUT HIM!!!
Seriously! WTH?
I know. :/
It just burns me up though!click to expand
Posted by PhoenixRising😆
In fairness I wasn't trying to ignore his question. I guess it just hit me *sh*t I'm doing the one thing I keep tell other people NOT to do....I need to stop that* so I was reflecting on why. I guess I just need to recognize it's not appropriate to stop mid conversations to have a moment of self reflection. Especially when someone is upset.... 😆
This predicament happens to me at least once a day, every day.
Posted by TheLadyScorpio😄Posted by PhoenixRising😆
In fairness I wasn't trying to ignore his question. I guess it just hit me *sh*t I'm doing the one thing I keep tell other people NOT to do....I need to stop that* so I was reflecting on why. I guess I just need to recognize it's not appropriate to stop mid conversations to have a moment of self reflection. Especially when someone is upset.... 😆
This predicament happens to me at least once a day, every day.click to expand
Posted by ElleDuMondeLol. I forgot we have so many Scorps with Leeb bits floating around.
ew
I was actually eating a salad while I wrote that. Clearly my sarcasm doesn't even filter graphic details while eating when my annoyance hits.
@Ellycakes
The best part of living life is when you realise you have no more fucks to give. That is when the true adventures begin, definitely freeing the chains of thoughts, doubts, and concerns. It is a lesson everyone should learn or reach.
(hugs)
I wish I could offer more support or make your journey pass by more swiftly.
However you are doing better and better, it really comes across in your writing!
The best part of living life is when you realise you have no more fucks to give. That is when the true adventures begin, definitely freeing the chains of thoughts, doubts, and concerns. It is a lesson everyone should learn or reach.
(hugs)
I wish I could offer more support or make your journey pass by more swiftly.
However you are doing better and better, it really comes across in your writing!
The user who posted this message has hidden it.This would be no avail considering your Gemini bits but PR, I demand you to reveal this message of yours! 😆
@ElleDuMonde
Since we are all already sharing here.
Ah, I gained a few pounds myself. All the good cheese and bread have been adding to my waistline. I no longer fit into my newly bought summer dresses! 😛
(hugs)
Since we are all already sharing here.
Ah, I gained a few pounds myself. All the good cheese and bread have been adding to my waistline. I no longer fit into my newly bought summer dresses! 😛
(hugs)
Posted by TheLadyScorpioThat's the part of me that wanted to say it directly to the person I was talking about 😆!The user who posted this message has hidden it.This would be no avail considering your Gemini bits but PR, I demand you to reveal this message of yours! 😆click to expand
Cliff notes: I don't like people that kiss a**to get ahead.
Posted by ElleDuMondeMore than likely they are following in the footsteps of the lieutenant governor from TX I think it was.
At the local Mosque tonight they are having a vigil for the victims in Orlando. We are several states away from Florida.
Nobody talks about that.
I have to wonder how many Catholic or Evangelical churches are doing the same.....serious question.
It's a terrible situation with so many facets and contributing factors. And no easy solutions.
All I know is this country seems to have lost its respect for life in general.
All I know is this country seems to have lost its respect for life in general.
The Cancer I was seeing used one of my ideas to take his "ex wife"(?) out on a date. What in the literal fuck. I want to stab him.
Posted by EllycakesSeriously. What the fuck. Why the fuck would he tell me that?Posted by Andalusia*stabs little effigy of melly's cancer*
The Cancer I was seeing used one of my ideas to take his "ex wife"(?) out on a date. What in the literal fuck. I want to stab him.click to expand
Posted by EllycakesAre you coming for me, Elly—!!! 😄Posted by Andalusia*gives giant squishy hugs*Posted by EllycakesSeriously. What the fuck. Why the fuck would he tell me that?Posted by Andalusia*stabs little effigy of melly's cancer*
The Cancer I was seeing used one of my ideas to take his "ex wife"(?) out on a date. What in the literal fuck. I want to stab him.
😢
At this point honey it'll be up to you to cut it loose. He obviously knows your emotions towards him. A good man would back off in that instance if he wasn't on the same page. A lesser man would keep you around for ego, comfort or just in case.
Not to say he's a bad person. Sometimes we all feel weak or lonely and choose company and friends for less than honorable reasons. But don't let him bring you down.
And when you mysteriously bump into a cute blonde blue eyed girl in the coming weeks who asks you out on a date... Don't say no. Embrace moving on! 😄click to expand
Posted by EllycakesMy city is on the way to Nashville!Posted by AndalusiaStill trying to figure out how to stalk you without a Facebook. 😢 my Scorpio skills are lacking.Posted by EllycakesAre you coming for me, Elly—!!! 😄Posted by Andalusia*gives giant squishy hugs*Posted by EllycakesSeriously. What the fuck. Why the fuck would he tell me that?Posted by Andalusia*stabs little effigy of melly's cancer*
The Cancer I was seeing used one of my ideas to take his "ex wife"(?) out on a date. What in the literal fuck. I want to stab him.
😢
At this point honey it'll be up to you to cut it loose. He obviously knows your emotions towards him. A good man would back off in that instance if he wasn't on the same page. A lesser man would keep you around for ego, comfort or just in case.
Not to say he's a bad person. Sometimes we all feel weak or lonely and choose company and friends for less than honorable reasons. But don't let him bring you down.
And when you mysteriously bump into a cute blonde blue eyed girl in the coming weeks who asks you out on a date... Don't say no. Embrace moving on! 😄
I would love to do a roadtrip before the end of this year though. I have a friend in Nashville and Philly I'd like to visit.click to expand
@Ellycakes I will buy you all the fancy food and drinks you could hope for!
I hate how much I can let other people's opinion of me influence my own sense of self.
I don't start out like that, but then I get called out for being "weird" or "aloof" or "a hard ass", so I start to take others interpretations into account. But it always ends up blowing up in my face and then I always end up feeling so fucking foolish and saying "Why did I listen to them instead of trusting my own voice??!" Which in turn makes me want to disengage and put up more BS FEMA built walls, only knowing they will be blown down with the slightest bit of wind [AKA hot air]
But I never feel like that with my Scorpy-hoes.
I don't start out like that, but then I get called out for being "weird" or "aloof" or "a hard ass", so I start to take others interpretations into account. But it always ends up blowing up in my face and then I always end up feeling so fucking foolish and saying "Why did I listen to them instead of trusting my own voice??!" Which in turn makes me want to disengage and put up more BS FEMA built walls, only knowing they will be blown down with the slightest bit of wind [AKA hot air]
But I never feel like that with my Scorpy-hoes.
I shall spend the rest of the evening in my sweatpants, drinking the remnants of champagne (bubbles always make me happy), eating falafel, and watching l.... either Outlander or Penelope.. idk which yet
Posted by EllycakesHave you seen outlander though??! So. Good!!Posted by AndalusiaPENELOPEEEEEE!
I shall spend the rest of the evening in my sweatpants, drinking the remnants of champagne (bubbles always make me happy), eating falafel, and watching l.... either Outlander or Penelope.. idk which yetclick to expand
Also, I just met one of the 25 people who.was a first hand.witness to the last legal, lethal execution in the state of Tennessee. My weird, macabre paralegal bits are seriously tingling right meow.
Posted by AndalusiaOutlander!Posted by EllycakesHave you seen outlander though??! So. Good!!Posted by AndalusiaPENELOPEEEEEE!
I shall spend the rest of the evening in my sweatpants, drinking the remnants of champagne (bubbles always make me happy), eating falafel, and watching l.... either Outlander or Penelope.. idk which yet
Also, I just met one of the 25 people who.was a first hand.witness to the last legal, lethal execution in the state of Tennessee. My weird, macabre paralegal bits are seriously tingling right meow.click to expand
The important question dear Virgal - Jamie or Frank?
For some strange reason, I always feel incredibly sad on behalf of Frank and torn over Claire's decisions.
On a side note, Tobias does such an incredible job portraying Black Jack as well.
Posted by TheLadyScorpioJAMIE!!!!! Although I do feel bad for Frank.Posted by AndalusiaOutlander!Posted by EllycakesHave you seen outlander though??! So. Good!!Posted by AndalusiaPENELOPEEEEEE!
I shall spend the rest of the evening in my sweatpants, drinking the remnants of champagne (bubbles always make me happy), eating falafel, and watching l.... either Outlander or Penelope.. idk which yet
Also, I just met one of the 25 people who.was a first hand.witness to the last legal, lethal execution in the state of Tennessee. My weird, macabre paralegal bits are seriously tingling right meow.
The important question dear Virgal - Jamie or Frank?
For some strange reason, I always feel incredibly sad on behalf of Frank and torn over Claire's decisions.
On a side note, Tobias does such an incredible job portraying Black Jack as well.click to expand
Tobias is amazing though. I just realized he's in Game of Thrones too!
I turned in my notice at my day job yesterday. Gave it for a month out since I don't have anything else lined up.
The bullshit, misogynistic politics, and the douche bag Cancer finally got to be too much.
I'm not sorry that I did it. But again, I hate how much I can let others affect me. 😢
The bullshit, misogynistic politics, and the douche bag Cancer finally got to be too much.
I'm not sorry that I did it. But again, I hate how much I can let others affect me. 😢
Posted by ElleDuMondeIt's probably because the office smells like green olive farts.
whoo...the capricorn boss is so pissed off today.
*hides in office to stay out of the line of sight*
If you had consumed those olives with vodka and ice, you'd be fine.
Posted by EllycakesThank you, boo. I'll need all the good vibes I can get 🙂Posted by AndalusiaI had to quit a job suddenly like that as well, years ago. I had money saved up and gave only two weeks notice. But the emotional stress was just too demanding.
I turned in my notice at my day job yesterday. Gave it for a month out since I don't have anything else lined up.
The bullshit, misogynistic politics, and the douche bag Cancer finally got to be too much.
I'm not sorry that I did it. But again, I hate how much I can let others affect me. 😢
I had a job drop into my lap my last day at work. Went right into it the following week. I'll be sending the good thoughts and vibes your way that you get similar kismet. 🙂
*hugs*click to expand
Yeah I guess we just bring eternal sorrow to all we come across. I would like to extend my condolences.
The user who posted this message has hidden it.I tried to allow myself to use this place like a diary, but I can't. It felt too uncomfortable. The equivalent of meeting your partner's entire family for the first time or trying making small talk with a Cap lol. I fear very little, f*ck I stepped into adulthood without complaint 4 days shy of my 16th birthday. I do fear being vulnerable. Even with strangers.
*exits new territory* at least I tried. I'll stick with my journal....I can't seem to write anymore though 😢 ....
Posted by EllycakesHmmm I can relate to that. Speaking for myself, it was my way of avoiding any part of dealing, sitting, even glancing at my feelings post break up(s). If I was busy, somehing shiny would capture my interest soon enough and you no longer exist "haha suck to be you ex boyfriend" lol.
I've become hyper social since scorp and I broke up. Like I stayed at home so much and never saw friends. And now I want to be out at least five days of the week with people, meeting new people or whathaveyou.
Anyway, I had to sit still at some point.... That was never pretty.
Posted by EllycakesHmmm. I think I just have to much Scorp "we deal with our own sh*t because you can't possibly understand" energy going on. My problem is allowing myself the permission to upload whether it be on paper or in person. Paper was easier, but lately I find any reason to abandon it. *write 1-2 sentences or a few words..."Oh, I have to catch up on Game of Throne/Lucifer/The Y&R!"...."My nail polishes chipped, gotta fix that"...."I should start dinner"...."I should brainstorm topics for the blog"..."I should call..."Posted by PhoenixRisingWe can't all have sag/cancer placements that make us emotionally vomit public in comfort. *pets gently and serves tea*The user who posted this message has hidden it.I tried to allow myself to use this place like a diary, but I can't. It felt too uncomfortable. The equivalent of meeting your partner's entire family for the first time or trying making small talk with a Cap lol. I fear very little, f*ck I stepped into adulthood without complaint 4 days shy of my 16th birthday. I do fear being vulnerable. Even with strangers.
*exits new territory* at least I tried. I'll stick with my journal....I can't seem to write anymore though 😢 ....
*hands etsy gift card so you can pick out your own new completely customized journal*click to expand
F*ck you Wizard. He wouldn't let me edit my last post.
😆
Feels like I'm finally thIf my clingy nostalgia driven sentimental mush of a moon feels compelled to move on what sorta strange creatures hold onto the past indefinitely like that? 😕Fixed moons, like Taurus. Having a cardinal moon must help with moving on.
Posted by exoI cant help but LOL @ your eggplant icon.
aries bff is dating a virgo. it's going a bit shaky.
virgo seriously asked aries to compile a list of wants/needs/expectations in a notebook for their date.
i couldn't stop laughing. 😆
my husband sent me a MSG on the phone one time with an eggplant on it. true story.
I LOL'ed. 😆
Posted by ElleDuMondeHiPosted by NotYourAverageAquariusYOU!
Yeah I guess we just bring eternal sorrow to all we come across. I would like to extend my condolences.click to expand
Ya I guess I checked out for a bit... Typical Aqua I guess :/
Posted by EllycakesEver think maybe that intimidates the men you're meeting? I'm not at all suggesting you stop being you. Just, rather than internalizing their reaction see it as a "we wouldn't fit anyway". I mean if someone can see all those things in you and then feels "this is too much, I need to bounce" would you want to invest in someone like that? That sounds like it's speaks more to them not feeling like they could measure up vs you being the wrong person for them. Doesn't help that the way they go about it may be sh*tty (e.g. ghost). IDK, we all have insecurities, but if they are so strong that you would walk away from something your attracted to or could potentially be a good experience, you have some stuff to work out. Let them do it on someone else's time.
...I feel fine when I gather myself after each disappointment. I only feel lonely after another rejection. And everyone is always like 'Wow. You're so cool. You're so gorgeous and smart and talented and sweet and loyal. Omgggg. Anyone would be lucky to have you.' Well that's nice and all but after the third time getting dumped for someone else and getting ghosted twice the self esteem takes a knock....
I don't know if that made sense. I don't care all that much this morning.
i so wanted to say this to my enemies
"if you think hiding behind the law makes you safe
understand this accidents can happen to you"
and to my crush
"i won't be your knight in shining armor
instead i'll be your angel of death, at your command"
to my brother's and sister
"if the world is against you i'll be behind you like a shadow guarding
your back just go i've got your back they don't call me a ghost for nothing"
there i finally got a load of my shoulders sigh.... i hope i wont have to actually
do that cause it will be a tone of hard work
"if you think hiding behind the law makes you safe
understand this accidents can happen to you"
and to my crush
"i won't be your knight in shining armor
instead i'll be your angel of death, at your command"
to my brother's and sister
"if the world is against you i'll be behind you like a shadow guarding
your back just go i've got your back they don't call me a ghost for nothing"
there i finally got a load of my shoulders sigh.... i hope i wont have to actually
do that cause it will be a tone of hard work
I want to have a threesome in Spain…only Spain.
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