Mental Asylum of Utter Madness- 24/7 Stinger Home! (Page 51)

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Andalusia
@Andalusia
12 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 372 · Posts: 6468 · Topics: 165
Posted by PeanutButterandElly
Posted by Andalusia
The ex Scorp and I have started occasionally texting back and forth. He has moved several hours away but asked to meet up "the next time he's in town", whenever that is. Haven't seen him in several years; should be interesting.
Don't forget to tell him you're 'engaged.' 😛

Take it easy, enjoy yourself and know you're smarter than him lol. 😄
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LOL 😆
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PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Posted by PeanutButterandElly
I somehow through these shitty past few years of relationships and non relationships have turned into a hot/cold Scorpio, the kind you read about on the boards. 😐

I love people and believe in the good of humanity. Until I date someone. Lol. Then all of the sudden everyone seems like trash haha.

The truth is, when thinking back, I'm not sure if I ever want a real relationship again. I invested everything I had both times I fell in love. Gave those men everything. They undervalued and neglected it at best or used it to purposefully betray and hurt me at worst.

Being caring, giving, having a open heart and being able to bring warmth, a smile and a little bit of magic to people's lives, these are the parts I love most about myself. These are the things I poured into those men. So much so I didn't have any left for my friends, family or coworkers because the men took and took and never offered to give. (Though I will say the first 3 of our 5 years the first ex scorp really did invest as well, checked out the last two.) after each fallout though it took time to be able to be myself even a little bit again.

I don't want to waste anymore of the favorite parts of myself on relationships that drain me then end up falling apart horribly and painfully. It actually makes me angry and nauseous now to think about. And I remember that feeling anytime I start to like someone. And then become a hot/cold Scorpio. :/

I can relate to this. I have told myself I'm just gonna f*ck and enjoy what's good about a relationship until I don't and then bounce. I never get that far though. Just my moon throwing a "why must I feeeeel?!" tantrum.

Once it calms down (usually an hour or two 😛) I begin to question what I need to do to find balance vs going to such extremes when in love if it happens again.

I want it all. Despite the difficulties I experience to get there.

"For me, giving up's way harder than trying..."
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PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Posted by PeanutButterandElly
Posted by PhoenixRising
I can relate to this. I have told myself I'm just gonna f*ck and enjoy what's good about a relationship until I don't and then bounce. I never get that far though. Just my moon throwing a "why must I feeeeel?!" tantrum.

Once it calms down (usually an hour or two 😛) I begin to question what I need to do to find balance vs going to such extremes when in love if it happens again.

I want it all. Despite the difficulties I experience to get there.

"For me, giving up's way harder than trying..."



Yeah I've managed to find that actually recently. Which is nice and comfortable for me. I get some relationship benefits (not all, but enough to satisfy me currently), but I don't have responsibility to anyone, I wait on no one and I don't have to claim any labels. It's working till it doesn't and I'm content with it. I'm ready to bounce if it becomes too complicated. Which I almost think makes the other person more attentive lol.

I do think this is where my moon actually comes in handy too. My emotional recall is exact, and my teeth have finally come in lol. So any behavior that I find to be shady or mindfuckery I call out immediately and harshly. New guy is well aware, was actually shocked when I backed up one of my boundaries lol.

Deep down I want it all. At this point I really do doubt it's out here though. I've not yet met anyone capable of the emotional devotion I expect in return for what I offer.

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Posted by PeanutButterandElly

Probably doesn't help I'm such an emotionally expressive person by nature and that tends to attract emotionally avoidant people that want me to fix them and pull emotions out of them....

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If this was reciprocated at some point, do you think it would bother you as much to be the initiator of this process?

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PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Posted by PeanutButterandElly
Posted by PhoenixRising
I'm not feeling well and I'm waiting for weed cookies. I've only tried weed once, if you can consider a few puffs, no inhale "trying weed", so I'm a little anxious.

If I post a lot of nonsense...meh just roll with it.
Depending on how and with what they're made of you should be fine. It takes longer to feel their effects though so I'd wait at least 40 min before eating more if you feel nothing at first.

Enjoy yourself though. 😉
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It's a good thing it's not brownies then. I'd eat half the batch.

I told me "dealer" (aka ex) to stay with me and take my phone away from me just in case I act stupid.

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PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Posted by PeanutButterandElly
Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by PeanutButterandElly
Posted by PhoenixRising
I'm not feeling well and I'm waiting for weed cookies. I've only tried weed once, if you can consider a few puffs, no inhale "trying weed", so I'm a little anxious.

If I post a lot of nonsense...meh just roll with it.
Depending on how and with what they're made of you should be fine. It takes longer to feel their effects though so I'd wait at least 40 min before eating more if you feel nothing at first.

Enjoy yourself though. 😉

It's a good thing it's not brownies then. I'd eat half the batch.

I told me "dealer" (aka ex) to stay with me and take my phone away from me just in case I act stupid.


LOL. It's not quite like drinking. At worst you'll just jump between extremely introverted and then giggly/amused. There's a possibility you could get paranoid, happens sometimes, but the ex there to 'guide' you so to speak should nix that if he's an experienced user.

My cap sun Gemini moon friend gets HYPER introverted. It's like she concentrates so hard on each thought she can't speak lol.
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Hehe, okay. I over analyze stuff way too much weed free, I could only imagine high. I also have a lot of stuff bubbling up inside emotionally I have yet to purge, so I was worried about sending out a Ulysses novel length text to a few people telling them exactly what I think before passing out.

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PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Posted by PeanutButterandElly
Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by PeanutButterandElly
Today Mercury goes retro...

*send all calls to voicemail...debates the idea of blocking text messages...*


For me the phone goes off or on do not disturb.

Though the new iOS personalized do not disturb for individual contacts is handy at times.
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Man, this is why I need to update my d*mn OS. I keep hitting "notify later". Lol I don't like change....

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PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Just Another Moody Monday...Explained

Gem: I don't know, I would think it's a cool thing to have such extreme highs and lows.

Scorp: Says the robot. How do you figure being an emotional nutcase is cool?

Gem: Well you're so in touch with you're feelings. I can't see how that would ever be a bad thing.

Scorp: Hmph. Well if we were talking about simple awareness, then yeah I suppose it's "cool". We're not.

Gem: What are we talking about?

Scorp: Not just an awareness, but a continual shift, each one feeling quite intense. I know what I'm feeling. I don't want to...so I avoid them. I'm not talking about my mood changing from one day to the next. I'm talking about anything from 5 minutes to a day. The problem is the mood doesn't always pass. Some sit and it can deepen and deepen and that tend to be when others pick up on it.

Gem: Explain.

Scorp: Saturday.

Gem: *thinks* So you were upset with me.

Scorp: Yes and no.

Gem: I was like what the hell just happened? It was like a switch went off and I could feel this huge shift between us.

Scorp: Right. Still cool?

Gem: Well yeah. I knew you couldn't stay mad for long. I mean, it's me...

Scorp: Smh *smirk*
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PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Posted by PeanutButterandElly
Idk why people always think the highs and lows are so cool. Mine are unfortunately played out noticeably because of my extroverted personality and I hate it. I notice more inhibited people especially dig it.

I've been told my face is very expressive. Especially my eyes. You know I'm feeling you or not quite easily. So much for the Scorp poker face.

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PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Posted by PeanutButterandElly
Also Ima slap the shit outta this sag merc.

While I dig the compulsive tendency to respond immediately, all my watery bits are so annoyed with the lack of poetry lol.

It reminds me of a super hot Leo I met over the summer. Heavy fire chart, all aries, Leo and sag. Very physically attractive and charismatic to boot but just came off so vapid and devoid any verbal foreplay I didn't even get enough of a lady boner to wanna kiss him. Did get some good whiskey and pancakes though.

My watery bits get lost by that physical and primal energy of fiery bits. Does not compute.

Lol @ lady boner.

Yeah, it's a bit lost on me too. I need the verbal connection.

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aNEWday
@aNEWday
14 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 1330 · Topics: 87
Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by PeanutButterandElly
Also Ima slap the shit outta this sag merc.

While I dig the compulsive tendency to respond immediately, all my watery bits are so annoyed with the lack of poetry lol.

It reminds me of a super hot Leo I met over the summer. Heavy fire chart, all aries, Leo and sag. Very physically attractive and charismatic to boot but just came off so vapid and devoid any verbal foreplay I didn't even get enough of a lady boner to wanna kiss him. Did get some good whiskey and pancakes though.

My watery bits get lost by that physical and primal energy of fiery bits. Does not compute.

Lol @ lady boner.

Yeah, it's a bit lost on me too. I need the verbal connection.



click to expand


Ugh! Scorpio sun sag merc male = the worst.

Mostly probably why things didn't work out lol

Also Leo merc is probably my least favorite. I feeels you regarding those fire placements.
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aNEWday
@aNEWday
14 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 1330 · Topics: 87
Posted by PeanutButterandElly
Posted by aNEWday
Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by PeanutButterandElly
Also Ima slap the shit outta this sag merc.

While I dig the compulsive tendency to respond immediately, all my watery bits are so annoyed with the lack of poetry lol.

It reminds me of a super hot Leo I met over the summer. Heavy fire chart, all aries, Leo and sag. Very physically attractive and charismatic to boot but just came off so vapid and devoid any verbal foreplay I didn't even get enough of a lady boner to wanna kiss him. Did get some good whiskey and pancakes though.

My watery bits get lost by that physical and primal energy of fiery bits. Does not compute.

Lol @ lady boner.

Yeah, it's a bit lost on me too. I need the verbal connection.





Ugh! Scorpio sun sag merc male = the worst.

Mostly probably why things didn't work out lol

Also Leo merc is probably my least favorite. I feeels you regarding those fire placements.


The Leo mercs I have dated were awful for me. Every time I made a sarcastic joke they always thought I was serious and really insulting them. I'd always be explaining jokes and they'd always think I was trying to attack them or something. Like no bro. I was just kidding. And they say Scorpio is sensitive.

At least the sag merc wasnt like that. But I can tell my wordplay was kinda lost on him sometimes lol.

It's hard to balance verbal and physical chemistry. And admittedly my mars and rising like toncayse trouble with my Scorpio bits. I can be tricky to deal with lol
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Lol yep! Fire mercs seem to watch when I speak now that I think of it. The sag merc would just watch me carefully when I spoke like he was waiting for something different.

I remember one time the Leo merc asked me i paused a lot when I speak. Like hmm maybe I'm thinking before I blurt things out!

I totally agree. As a libra mars and venus, the Mercury connect, I've learned, is very important to me. That's part of the way I get aroused tbh.

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PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Posted by PeanutButterandElly
I was reflecting on my near year of singledom. Made a chart to count a tally of dates. They vary from month long dating down to first dates only. No one night stands or anything in the casual realm.

Toxic Assholes: 4

Losers/Cowards: 4

Seemingly Nice but not a good fit: 5 (3 men, 2 women)

Worthwhile People: 0 (though there's one under evaluation atm)

Image Not Found

Hmph.

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PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
"Can't read my, can't read my, no (s)he can't read my poker face..."

*Ram, Sag, Leeb, Scorp gather in boardroom for lunch*

Leeb/Ram/Sag: *talking about relationships, dating, marriage...*

Scorp: *eats salad*

Sag: So is it okay to take the conversation in another direction?

Scorp: Sure.

Sag: Is it safe?

Scorp: *mental eye squint*

Leeb: Yeah it's safe.

Sag: Is this a safe space?

Scorp: *Oh Jesus. Spit it out* It's as safe as it's gonna get.

Sag: So, a** play. I really like it.

Scorp: *Jesus f*ck* Okay * goes back to eating salad*

Leeb: *looks shocked and amused*

Ram: *eye open wide. Looks at others stunned*

Scorp: *Claire Huxtable smile* Giving or receiving?

Sag: Receiving.

Leeb: Oh I totally like playing with my husbands a**!

Scorp: *Wtf!?! Her strap on is probably a light shade of pink* Hmph. *eats salad*

Sag: I know right!?! I just think if a guy doesn't like it, things can get so boring. Explore. Be adventurous!

Scorp: *shakes head confused* Wait, just to be clear when you say receiving what do you mean?

Sag: The guy receiving it.

Scorp: *Jesus f*ck*. Um then that would be giving....

Sag: Okay. Giving.

Ram: *looks around room. Awkward smile*

Scorp *notices and laughs inside* Okay....well I don't know if it's fair to say a man is boring because he doesn't want his a** diddled. Some question their sexuality if they admit they enjoy it.

Sag: I just think it's so boring if a guy doesn't want to explore.

Leeb: I agree!

Scorp: *to Leeb* You seem rather excited by this conversation.

Leeb: *smirks* Ummm, well...I just get what she's saying.

Scorp: *Un huh...* Hmph. *to Sag* So...what sparked this conversation?

Leeb: Yeah is there a problem? Does he let you play with his a**?

Scorp: *Jesus f*ck easy!...Make mental note to never partner with a Leeb when investigating anything*

Sag: No, no. Everything's fine *smiles*

Scorp: *bullsh*t*. Okay...so the last time you engaged in a** play he enjoyed it?

Ram: *looks around the room* I have a client. I should go prepare *leaves*

Sag: I hope I didn't make her leave

Scorp: She's fine. So _____ he enjoyed it?

Sag: Yeah _____ is open to it.

Scorp: *That wasn't the question.....eats salad...eye contact clearly makes her uncomfortable...look down at salad* Have you been in your man's a** or not?

Sag: We haven't.

Scorp: Okay. He's open to it, but you haven't done it. Are you sure he's open to it?

Sag: I believe so.

Scorp: But?...

Leeb: So when you try to do it does he let you?

Scorp: *Oh Jesus....*

Sag: I haven't.

Scorp: Why not?

Leeb: men can be so funny about that stuff.

Scorp: *hush* Why not?

Sag: I don't know.

Scorp: So this is really about how can you approach the subject of playing with your man's a**? Why didn't you just ask that?

Sag: I don't know. I didn't know how you guys would take it. You don't seem phased by this conversation.

Scorp: Hmph.

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PhoenixRising
@PhoenixRising
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 19 · Posts: 19733 · Topics: 48
Posted by PeanutButterandElly


Yeah the person is pretty cool actually. A little on the shy side so not terribly easy to get to know.

My *friend* went over to hang out and ended up the floor playing with the dog most of the night. In my friends defense, she's terrible at playing pool which was the main activity at the time. 😛



Sounds more like being aware of *her* limits when it comes to engaging others socially than trying to offend. The intention wasn't to just spend time with the dog.

Continuing to accept invitations just to see the dog is another matter though lol.

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Szcorpio
@Szcorpio
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 21 · Topics: 4
Posted by Scorpio84
Im feeling the need to sting for first time since it's been more than 9 months in isolation and desperation

this pisces moon i have almost killed me emotionally under the challenge i had to go through

now to be patient for all the pain i absorbed i will let it backfire eventually.
been isolated/getting wrecked/overthinking the well being of fuckers that dont deserve it for around the same time too...
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The Lady Scorpio
@TheLadyScorpio
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154
Posted by Secret
Posted by -elle-
Posted by Secret
222 unbelievable...

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....and no drama 😄


Elle you read all the pages??

That's what I was thinking too. Very strange... but I've noticed all threads started by TLS never have drama.
click to expand

Elle was around since the creation of this thread, and even prior to it. She was always a participant as well. 😄
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Get out of my profile please.
@Secret
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1112 · Posts: 2509 · Topics: 34
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Posted by Secret
Posted by -elle-
Posted by Secret
222 unbelievable...

Image Not Found


....and no drama 😄


Elle you read all the pages??

That's what I was thinking too. Very strange... but I've noticed all threads started by TLS never have drama.
Elle was around since the creation of this thread, and even prior to it. She was always a participant as well. 😄

click to expand

Ah! Yes Elle is on DXP's Hall Of Fame!

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Szcorpio
@Szcorpio
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 21 · Topics: 4
Posted by Scorpio84
Posted by GetMisted
Posted by Scorpio84
Sorry but today i think im going to finally sting a Sun Cancer Moon Virgo Rising Libra


If you are "thinking" about doing it.. you're probably not going to. And probably shouldn't anyways.

GL

Im telling my bro Virgo everything after finding out how false she is and what else could even be behind her that

so i don't care what happens to me anymore, she was able to hurt my feelings enough with her words, agressive attitude

just cause she had probs with her job that can't talk about since it's work for government while making big drama on me

and after all that she still laughs on dinner like nothing ever happened between us. (i even lost appetite)

Will post the results after regardless...
click to expand

Had a problem like this with a virgo , whilst giving her everything(spiritual)

she still thinks she was driving the horse... + is big liars virgos, fuck them

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The Lady Scorpio
@TheLadyScorpio
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154
Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by -elle-
Posted by Secret
222 unbelievable...

Image Not Found


....and no drama 😄



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Please review pages 117-118, 131, 134 and *grab extra butta for dat popcorn*..136-138. There would be more, but a few pages went poof when Intrigued deleted.

How soon they forget....

MercinScorpMemory > all

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Leave it to PR, to have the memory of an elephant but I prefer to believe there was minimal to no drama in here. After all, there is a lot of love shared within this mental asylum as well. 😆
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The Lady Scorpio
@TheLadyScorpio
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 1412 · Posts: 11166 · Topics: 154
Are there any other Stingers here who have been through such experiences as well ... or am I the only one ?

When you had enough of certain things in life, in circumstances, or in certain people. You end up so fed up you throw yourself into a hobby and work, becoming almost an obsessed workaholic. There is a limit, once you reach that wall, everything falls apart, and you lose yourself in this tunnel of madness. Also, your mind becomes crystal clear, all the fog dissipates.

It is both frightening and exciting all at once, as if you are embarking on a new journey. Major transformations have always felt this way in my life. Shedding skins, letting go, and finding the new. Seeing and feeling life again through a breath of fresh air, untempered with. Freedom.

Is this escapism, denial, or sheer ambition taking over ... full force ?

There is only so much a person could take before they explode and rebuild themselves from all the shattered shards into someone new, with a bit of the old. People could sometimes push us and continually test our loyalty, mistaking it for stagnancy, submission, or sheer stupidity but frankly it is not. We expect people to cherish it, and when they do not, there is only so much anger inside us which would build, and build, until the lava explodes out of the volcano, that is our emotions.

At times, people want to put us in a gilded bird cage, or to have us do as their bidding, but we are not creatures that could be controlled, or manipulated, or mastered like so. We need the space, the chance, the ability to be ourselves, and true to our own being. Anything less, would be a slow death for us. Withering until there is nothing left but a husk of our former self.

A thoroughly pissed Stinger, pushed to the limits is either an ugly sight to behold, or the coldest winter to have hit planet earth.

I cannot possibly be the only one who feels this way. 😐