
aNEWday
@aNEWday
14 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 1 · Posts: 1330 · Topics: 87



Posted by PhoenixRisingNot for a while now. I think it's more because I know that I'm not competent happy due to my job situation. I can't be available for love if I'm not stable, I think.
@aNEWday
Do you ever shift in your feelings?






Posted by PeanutButterandElly
Smh.
Damn. Scorpios.
As if it didn't take me long enough to figure out how to deal with one scorp ex I added a second one to the mix. Sigh. I have been a glutton for punishment.
Just when I thought I was done with my own kind too, the hot bartender I've been eying the last month turned up his flirtafions finally and low and behold he tells me he's a Scorpio. LOL.
*Elly goes back into introvert cave and hides out*
This is why I spent my entire birthday bonding with my friends instead of going out trolling for dates. 😆
Thought I'll admit, I couldn't have chosen two better Scorpios to teach me about my own failings and insecurities and the two that landed in my lap. However for future notice to the universe, I'm ready for some real shit instead of life lessons. No more mind games. No more hiding. No more conforming. Real life, loyal to the end, fire in our souls but peace in each other's arms, best friend who's crazy is compatible to mine and together we better each other, without all the codependent bullshit. Who I am attracted to and we bang. A lot.
Anything less than that and I'll keep spending birthdays with my delightful family and friends. Cause it's not in me to do the drama or the games anymore.

Posted by aNEWdayPosted by PeanutButterandElly
Smh.
Damn. Scorpios.
As if it didn't take me long enough to figure out how to deal with one scorp ex I added a second one to the mix. Sigh. I have been a glutton for punishment.
Just when I thought I was done with my own kind too, the hot bartender I've been eying the last month turned up his flirtafions finally and low and behold he tells me he's a Scorpio. LOL.
*Elly goes back into introvert cave and hides out*
This is why I spent my entire birthday bonding with my friends instead of going out trolling for dates. 😆
Thought I'll admit, I couldn't have chosen two better Scorpios to teach me about my own failings and insecurities and the two that landed in my lap. However for future notice to the universe, I'm ready for some real shit instead of life lessons. No more mind games. No more hiding. No more conforming. Real life, loyal to the end, fire in our souls but peace in each other's arms, best friend who's crazy is compatible to mine and together we better each other, without all the codependent bullshit. Who I am attracted to and we bang. A lot.
Anything less than that and I'll keep spending birthdays with my delightful family and friends. Cause it's not in me to do the drama or the games anymore.
Yea I'm starting to realize scorp on scorp is more of a lesson than a long term thing.
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Posted by PhoenixRisingPosted by aNEWdayPosted by PeanutButterandElly
Smh.
Damn. Scorpios.
As if it didn't take me long enough to figure out how to deal with one scorp ex I added a second one to the mix. Sigh. I have been a glutton for punishment.
Just when I thought I was done with my own kind too, the hot bartender I've been eying the last month turned up his flirtafions finally and low and behold he tells me he's a Scorpio. LOL.
*Elly goes back into introvert cave and hides out*
This is why I spent my entire birthday bonding with my friends instead of going out trolling for dates. 😆
Thought I'll admit, I couldn't have chosen two better Scorpios to teach me about my own failings and insecurities and the two that landed in my lap. However for future notice to the universe, I'm ready for some real shit instead of life lessons. No more mind games. No more hiding. No more conforming. Real life, loyal to the end, fire in our souls but peace in each other's arms, best friend who's crazy is compatible to mine and together we better each other, without all the codependent bullshit. Who I am attracted to and we bang. A lot.
Anything less than that and I'll keep spending birthdays with my delightful family and friends. Cause it's not in me to do the drama or the games anymore.
Yea I'm starting to realize scorp on scorp is more of a lesson than a long term thing.
I sort of agree with this. Unless you are really ready to face all the things you dislike about yourself all close up and direct on a very consistent basis, its a challenging relationship to be in. "Challenging" shouldn't be the norm for any relationship.
I prefer my rebirth to occur without stretch marks.
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Posted by PeanutButterandEllyMy feeling exactly.
Now if my heart could catch up to my head.










Posted by PeanutButterandElly
I'm really afraid of these feelings. I'd thought I'd be over it by now. But it's the anger that lingers. I've never felt so angry so often in my life to the point it feels nearly ucontrollable. No matter what I do, everything short of therapy (which I can't afford), it just will soothe me momentarily. Every time I see his face rage just swells up in my chest and it takes everything in me not to want to snap on him.
I don't like feeling overwhelmed by emotions. Especially such a strong negative one.






Posted by tizianiAww!! Thanks tiz.Always been your fan.I managed to sneak in n see your posts every now n then 😉
@Teena welcome back!



Posted by PeanutButterandElly
I bought myself a journal for my birthday this year, first one in over a decade....

Posted by PeanutButterandEllyPosted by PhoenixRisingYeah. I also noticed I didn't post in asylum as much as I normally do since I got it. LOL.Posted by PeanutButterandElly
I bought myself a journal for my birthday this year, first one in over a decade....
*like*click to expand




Posted by TheLadyScorpio
I miss dancing. 😢


Posted by -elle-
The Cap is so damn sweet...
"Babe, don't worry. *This* is what you do. You reinvent yourself. You have outgrown this and now it's time to move on. I have seen you do this multiple times in the past two decades...and you always come out ahead of everyone."
Bless him....don't know jack about astrology 😛


Posted by -elle-
My work....my job....the place that has brought me happy for the past 6 years....
Has royally pissed me off.
Not a pissed off that my Aries moon can sleep off type of pissed off....
....but the all mighty....mountains are going to shift....mars will start sucking souls to the depth of hell....kind of pissed.



Posted by -elle-You guys have known each other for two decades??
The Cap is so damn sweet...
"Babe, don't worry. *This* is what you do. You reinvent yourself. You have outgrown this and now it's time to move on. I have seen you do this multiple times in the past two decades...and you always come out ahead of everyone."
Bless him....don't know jack about astrology 😛

Posted by -elle-They're such an odd bunch, those goats. Lovable, stoic weirdos.Posted by Andalusialol....almost.Posted by -elle-You guys have known each other for two decades??
The Cap is so damn sweet...
"Babe, don't worry. *This* is what you do. You reinvent yourself. You have outgrown this and now it's time to move on. I have seen you do this multiple times in the past two decades...and you always come out ahead of everyone."
Bless him....don't know jack about astrology 😛
Caps really are slow as shit!
Since 1999
click to expand

Posted by -elle-What, really? For some reason I thought you guys had dated previously but he didn't quite have his emotional shit together at the time.Posted by AndalusiaIndeed.Posted by -elle-They're such an odd bunch, those goats. Lovable, stoic weirdos.Posted by Andalusialol....almost.Posted by -elle-You guys have known each other for two decades??
The Cap is so damn sweet...
"Babe, don't worry. *This* is what you do. You reinvent yourself. You have outgrown this and now it's time to move on. I have seen you do this multiple times in the past two decades...and you always come out ahead of everyone."
Bless him....don't know jack about astrology 😛
Caps really are slow as shit!
Since 1999
We circled each other for years....never said a word or acted out of line towards each other....even through a marriage for each of us, kids, divorces.
Life sure is weird.
click to expand

Posted by -elle-Oh wow! Fucking Caps, man.. I swear.Posted by AndalusiaWe dated for six months after our divorces in 2008/2009. I divorced first....then he followed. He started calling me weekly to see how I was doing. We were each others support system...hell, we knew each other longer that we new our ex-spouses.Posted by -elle-What, really? For some reason I thought you guys had dated previously but he didn't quite have his emotional shit together at the time.Posted by AndalusiaIndeed.Posted by -elle-They're such an odd bunch, those goats. Lovable, stoic weirdos.Posted by Andalusialol....almost.Posted by -elle-You guys have known each other for two decades??
The Cap is so damn sweet...
"Babe, don't worry. *This* is what you do. You reinvent yourself. You have outgrown this and now it's time to move on. I have seen you do this multiple times in the past two decades...and you always come out ahead of everyone."
Bless him....don't know jack about astrology 😛
Caps really are slow as shit!
Since 1999
We circled each other for years....never said a word or acted out of line towards each other....even through a marriage for each of us, kids, divorces.
Life sure is weird.
That ended up in relationship-ish territory...aqua venus freaked and I ended up on dxp. lol
A few relationships for me and almost six years later....he has calmed his tits and we are doing it for real now. Lol
click to expand


Posted by -elle-Lol!Posted by AndalusiaLol...yeah, it's nuts.Posted by -elle-Oh wow! Fucking Caps, man.. I swear.Posted by AndalusiaWe dated for six months after our divorces in 2008/2009. I divorced first....then he followed. He started calling me weekly to see how I was doing. We were each others support system...hell, we knew each other longer that we new our ex-spouses.Posted by -elle-What, really? For some reason I thought you guys had dated previously but he didn't quite have his emotional shit together at the time.Posted by AndalusiaIndeed.Posted by -elle-They're such an odd bunch, those goats. Lovable, stoic weirdos.Posted by Andalusialol....almost.Posted by -elle-You guys have known each other for two decades??
The Cap is so damn sweet...
"Babe, don't worry. *This* is what you do. You reinvent yourself. You have outgrown this and now it's time to move on. I have seen you do this multiple times in the past two decades...and you always come out ahead of everyone."
Bless him....don't know jack about astrology 😛
Caps really are slow as shit!
Since 1999
We circled each other for years....never said a word or acted out of line towards each other....even through a marriage for each of us, kids, divorces.
Life sure is weird.
That ended up in relationship-ish territory...aqua venus freaked and I ended up on dxp. lol
A few relationships for me and almost six years later....he has calmed his tits and we are doing it for real now. Lol
9 months going strong...no disappearing, weirdness, flip flopping, wishy washy...stuff so far.
Everyday is surreal.
He went from...
"You are not allowed to text me anymore" (lol...I made a thread that day....I was so pissed because I rarely texted)
to....
"I miss you! *hugglez*"
LMAO
click to expand

Posted by -elle-I'm happy it's working out now though. You deserve it🙂Posted by AndalusiaMindfuck indeed. lolPosted by -elle-Lol!Posted by AndalusiaLol...yeah, it's nuts.Posted by -elle-Oh wow! Fucking Caps, man.. I swear.Posted by AndalusiaWe dated for six months after our divorces in 2008/2009. I divorced first....then he followed. He started calling me weekly to see how I was doing. We were each others support system...hell, we knew each other longer that we new our ex-spouses.Posted by -elle-What, really? For some reason I thought you guys had dated previously but he didn't quite have his emotional shit together at the time.Posted by AndalusiaIndeed.Posted by -elle-They're such an odd bunch, those goats. Lovable, stoic weirdos.Posted by Andalusialol....almost.Posted by -elle-You guys have known each other for two decades??
The Cap is so damn sweet...
"Babe, don't worry. *This* is what you do. You reinvent yourself. You have outgrown this and now it's time to move on. I have seen you do this multiple times in the past two decades...and you always come out ahead of everyone."
Bless him....don't know jack about astrology 😛
Caps really are slow as shit!
Since 1999
We circled each other for years....never said a word or acted out of line towards each other....even through a marriage for each of us, kids, divorces.
Life sure is weird.
That ended up in relationship-ish territory...aqua venus freaked and I ended up on dxp. lol
A few relationships for me and almost six years later....he has calmed his tits and we are doing it for real now. Lol
9 months going strong...no disappearing, weirdness, flip flopping, wishy washy...stuff so far.
Everyday is surreal.
He went from...
"You are not allowed to text me anymore" (lol...I made a thread that day....I was so pissed because I rarely texted)
to....
"I miss you! *hugglez*"
LMAO
Seriously though, that had to be a mind fuck. I don't understand them (Caps) hardly at all.
click to expand

Posted by -elle-![]()
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It's been an awful 24 hrs for me internally.
I haven't even started my new journey and I'm drowning in confusion and sadness.
This also reiterates how for me, some things are very difficult to shake, where some are easy. Probably my damn Taurus moon.