Mental Health Hotline

Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline!

If you are obsessive/compulsive please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependant please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple presonality disorder please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid, please stay on the line as we will trace your call. We know what you're here for...

If you are delusional please press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.

If you are skitzophrenic please listen closely as a small voice will tell you what number to press.

If you are depressed it doesn't matter which number you will press because no one can be bothered to answer you.

If you are dislexic please press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9

If you have a nervous disorder please figit with the pound key until you hear the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss please try your call again within the next 10 minutes.

If you have low self esteem then please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you.

Nyx you killed this topic already. Why couldn't you just laugh? 😛

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I don't need this to know I'm crazy. But it sure helped pin down some symptoms.