My brother

He's a Pisces and today I found out he's a cutter. 😢

The story is my parents divorce was really really hard on him. It was on all of us because our parents acted like fucking idiots dragging us kids in as ammo. I got angry, my sister was a little too small to understand but it scared her and my brother turned to drugs and alcohol. Since he was only 16/17 at the time it wasn't out of control. He'd have a beer here and there. He actually lived with me (my sister too who was 11 at the time). I would lecture him but he went to school like he was suppose to and he never got drunk. I was 21/22 at the time so my "parenting" skills were lacking sorely. Plus I had my sister to take care of and I was STILL dealing with my mom's break down and my father's lack of giving a shit that our family was going to hell... anyway... I managed to get him through high school and he split with his friends after he graduated. I was no longer someone he was going to listen too. In fact he turned him anger onto me to the point of pulling a gun on me and sticking it in my face. I don't understand WHY but I do understand he needs someone to be angry at so I let him feel that way. I just told him I'd always be his big sister and I'd always love him.

He's depressed and has been severely since. He's gotten into trouble with the law badly. One more slip and he's in prison. He's into drugs from what I know... he lives in another state but I've heard and I've seen him recently. He looks really bad. Now I've found out through my mother that he's cutting himself and he comes to her crying messed up on drugs.

I have to help him. He's gonna end up killing himself. He's so angry but he'll crack at the smallest of emotion. The thing is he FREAKS out when we try to get him help. He's not a small guy and he's violent. It just breaks my heart. I'm scared I'll lose my brother. I know he's in pain. I can feel it. I just don't know how to make him see he has got to get help.
My Scorpio way of doing it will probably not be effective. I feel he's crying out for help but then you offer to help him and he gets in your face "I'll fucking kill you... I don't NEED help".
I feel the responsiblity rest on my shoulder being I'm the big sister and my parents STILL can't pull their heads out of their asses long enough to realize he's gonna kill himself and soon. I tried to get them both to have an intervention and the 3 of them sit down and hash out the root of all the pain and anger but

my selfish mother doesn't want to be in the same room as my dad and my father doesn't seem to care that much. He said he made his bed..... My parents are real winners.
How do I get through to him? Blunt? I can do that but he'll get angry. What do I do? I'm seriously scared he'll end up dead.

I guess I should have posted this on the Pisces board... whoops. I know my fellow scorps will help though.

Hi Ginger.
Obviously he needs a friend, and he needs help without making it look like help, cuz his pride is getting in the way.
So you should do both.
The most important thing is to go to him now cuz you can do nothing from distance.
And then be his friend, let him talk, and you just listen..don't act like his big sister, act like his friend and then give him some advices and help him but like i said, without seeming so.
I know you will work it out, just do your best.
I am proud of you for worrying about your brother, in this world this time there are few like you unfortunately.

Thank you. I know he needs a friend and I think if he had some he'd be ok. He pushes everyone away with his behavior. He has a Scorp moon too fwiw... At one time he had a large group of friends but they all have distanced themselves from him but the loser druggies that seem to think his behavior is "cool" and "dark". Ugh he's hurting himself ... friends indeed.

I actually already have plans in motion to "drop in" on him this weekend. Our relationship is VERY rocky. I know it IS because I mother hen him alot. I think I'm very bossy and patronizing which stems from my controling nature and being the "parent" for as long as I was.

I'm worried I don't know how to get him to open up but I will do whatever it takes. This is so serious. I knew he was depressed but I didn't know it was this bad.

Maybe I'll just walk up to him and hug him... maybe knowing that someone loves him is going to be what it takes....

yes Ginger, do whatever it takes, but think well about it first cuz one bad move and everything will go wrong.
try to eliminate the tendecy of acting like his mother,it's important.
I have scorpio moon too, and i also don't like to hang out with my friends a lot, simply cuz i find them boring..i am also drawn to the dark side and that life style which involves getting drunk and drugs and sex and stuff but i don't do it cuz i know it's bad and i know how to control myself..but your brother had many bad things happening in his life and so he needs someone to support him, and unfortunately the only people who supported him were the drug and alcoholic friends esp in the abscense of his parents.
Have a deep thinking about it Ginger, i know you will find the way.

Posted by Hypno
yes Ginger, do whatever it takes, but think well about it first cuz one bad move and everything will go wrong.
try to eliminate the tendecy of acting like his mother,it's important.
I have scorpio moon too, and i also don't like to hang out with my friends a lot, simply cuz i find them boring..i am also drawn to the dark side and that life style which involves getting drunk and drugs and sex and stuff but i don't do it cuz i know it's bad and i know how to control myself..but your brother had many bad things happening in his life and so he needs someone to support him, and unfortunately the only people who supported him were the drug and alcoholic friends esp in the abscense of his parents.
Have a deep thinking about it Ginger, i know you will find the way.

I hear you. I have a scorpio moon myself. You have to be careful to not be consumed in the darkness. That's just what he's done and with a Pisces sun.... he absorbs emotions around him and drowns in them.
I know this is gonnna be tricky. What I want to do is ask him to "visit" us for awhile in my home but I feel as though he'd see through it.

NIB it's really a hard situation because as selfish as it sounds I feel like all the crap that went on with my parents split I took the brunt of it and shielded my siblings from the stupidity to my best ability. So I'm sorta angry at him for it effecting him SO much when I am ok with it (sorta it's still a bitter pill). BUT I do know people deal with things differently. It's going to be hard to go in without being a little emotional about it but I can. I will.

I know I have to approach this thing delicately but I'm use to attacking a situation. I don't know if I know how to be sensitive. I want to shake him and tell him to snap the hell out of it. This is really really scary. I can't even begin to tell you how worried I am. And I feel guilty that I didn't notice it went this far. He's just so .... isolated from everyone.

Should I invite him to live with us for awhile? Would he reject that? He lives a ways away from me so driving back and forth all the time is not an option. If I have to I will but it will be hard on the bank account.

I hate my parents!!! How could they sit back and let this happen to him?

I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't make my parents sit down with him. At this point I'd drag them there by gun point if I had to.

My way of seeing it is if you get to the root, the very core of what is causing the problem then maybe you can start to kill the pain. To let things go and get the questions you want answered out.

I know I could convince them to do it but I'm not sure what they will say. My mother is notorious for turning the focus on her pain playing the victim (Cancer Moon) and my dad is just...... he doesn't seem to care anymore (Libra).

I feel this is what needs to happen to heal him or at least start. Maybe if he gets to say what he feels and sees they are pathetic at best he'll get over it? IDK....

Thank you NIB and Hypno

I do understand wallowing well. I do it on a regular basis. It feels good to feel sorry for yourself sometimes but then it gets old and I like to get my "power" back.

I think all the bad choices he has made haunts him and then he makes more bad choices to punish himself. It's a vicious cycle.

Thank you for the advice guys. Much appriciated.

Gingerscorp,

This is really nothing your family did here or nothing you did wrong okay. It is his underlying fundamental blueprint. Your brother has "borderline personality disorder". Please google this. It is a clinical psychiatric disorder. I am a RN CRN. I know all about this disorder. From what you have wrote he has "escalated" lately and he may require hospitalization for a short term to get him evened out. Often times people with "borderline" cut to subconsciously release their inner "pain or stress". They have a love/hate realtionship with most everyone and tend to push them away, but fear being alone. You need to encourage him to get treatment. There are some medications that can help sustain his mood swings as well as a good support system that is well informed of his condition. Best of luck.

Being that he is "a big guy who gets angry easily and your worried about getting him help", I will tell you a couple more things. Its often a fearful realization at first, but all my patients in the past ended up feeling relieved. Sometimes in their minds, the relief upon this realization; is that "they arent crazy", "this viscous cycle actually has a name". Imagine; a diabetic, without their insulin, A manic depressant without their antidepressant, A cancer patient without their radiation or chemotherapy---->Your brother desperately needs HIS antidote. This can be managed, not cured but managed. If I were in your shoes I would gather as much information about Borderline. Talk to your family members get them on board, as much as possible. It sounds that you have a pretty crappy pair of parents but the truth of the matter they may be so scared inside for your brother and do not know how to help him, people "grieve" in many ways. Rely on your self and your siblings for the real strength. I would call the local (MHMR) mental health facility in his state and share your situation with them. You will need to sit down with your brother face to face and be as compassionate but "hopeful" as possible. You know why hopeful? Because he has been a prisoner to this "viscous cycle" for so long but he doesn't have to "feel this way forever any longer". The more positive you are, you CAN inspire him to take that first step to the DX. After you have this talk with him and HE is ready to try, set up an appt with the MHMR with his state, go with him. Most MHMR have sanctions that will help you with a payment plan or dependent on his income it may be "taken care of by the state". The first step is the assessment. It is the only way to break this chain.

Thank you everyone for the help. River girl thanks for the prayers. I think he's gonna need them. 😢

I tried. I really tried everything from just being a friend to trying to get him to come to dinner with my friends and I... everything.

This doesn't mean I'm giving up though.... it's just ......sad.

My little brother was such a happy kid. Effing parents.

Ginger you need yourself to understand what he is going through adnd the only way to do this is to either research yourself through the internet as rooster says or go to speak to a councillor in this area and talk to them, they have alot of knowledge and insite as to how to handle or deal with someone like this. There are free places like friendship houses etc where you can seek guildance, you just need to ask around and you'll be surprised at what other people have experienced and know.

Dont give up and good luck 🙂

Thank you LIB!!! I get that info to you! Anything at this point. I'm willing to do what it takes.

What's wrong with dying if a person wants to?

Sounds to me like you are afraid .. and he is not.

That ^^^^ is your issue to deal with, and not his .. he fears not, you do fear.

What makes you think he needs help?

Maybe he's alright with his life the way it is .. just because his life is unacceptable to you, doens't mean it's unacceptable to him.

Are you sure you want to help him .. or do you want to control him?



Pisces people are experts at handling pressure and stress ... so, perhaps since you want to control the direction he takes in life, then your best option is to have him incarcerated. You could counsel, you could intervene, you could jump up and down, you could do all kinds of things that make you think you are gaining control over him .... meanwhile, Joe down the street has some Primo Herion, or Oxycontins, the liquor store is still open .. and as soon as you leave, he will do as he pleases. And he should do as he pleases .. it's his life, afterall.

However, since you mean to have control over him, since you don't approve of his life .... in jail he cannot do as he pleases, and will have no option except to sober up.

oh and by the way .. they don't have medicine cabinets to invade there






Why are you so afraid of death?

Posted by Prince_Pisces
Why would you cut yourself? That leaves scars 😢

That's the first post I've seen of yours that didn't contain a lol

P-Angel,

I have to tell you. After reading your posts, it shocked me. Partly because you are exactly right. It is his life. But he is also "crying on mom", and coming to family members expressing the "red flag for help", maybe he doesnt know how to help himself. Maybe he doesnt want the help. But if Gingerscorp doesnt try to make some dent she is going to be left with guilt that she didnt "make some attempt". So its at least worth trying. Good points though P-angel.

I have no fear of death P. My fear is that my brother will do something because he feels he is not loved enough. All I can do is try to get through to him. I agree he will do what he wants but not without letting him know I LOVE HIM.

My stance on suicide is same as yours. Nobody but that person knows what they are going through and who are we to say what is right and wrong. But I think it's sad they get to that point because nobody cares enough to tell them they mean something to someone.

This isn't about my control P it's about my love for my brother. I don't want him to hurt. I want to help him if I can. That's all.

Death is nothing I fear.

Us pisces seem to hover the scorp boards and much as you all hover ours. Regardless of your parents being less then the best. Sounds like hes in self destruct mode. Hes acting out on internal pain. Not everyone reacts well to having their dream world shattered especially true of us pisces. Release a helpless out of control one on the outside world and your in for a ride.

Everyone like others have mentioned has the right button or right cure for them. You being his sister will have a greater insight to this than any of us here. If his friends are a huge issue. Your coming up upon the perfect time to establish and excuse for that come visit me and stay with me. Holiday season is blooming do your best to mask your good intentions.

If he agrees, collect the key people you think would be helpful. Whatever hes done in the past he can definitely put behind him. Getting him help would be great but it can be tough. My own brother it took me a while to get him to go. After a series of two crazy nights where he showed up to my place completely hysterical hoped up on god knows what and scaring the crap out of my girlfriend!. Hes a pisces as well.

I personally used yoga and meditation to calm myself. I tired that with my brother and found some success although it did take some convincing him that it wasn't "Totally for pussy's". Few classes and then he decided to get some help on his own as he realized he was just unhappy inside and needed to find his internal space. Sometimes your emotions are so intense that you can no longer contain them or your mind is so loud you look to shut it off. Rage, Drugs, Booze or the criminal rush temporarily diminish the dwelling on the pain.

He may feel like hes a let down and that he wont take pity. My brother would burst out in fits of rage because he didnt want anyone to see how weak he really was. Hed pick fights out at the bar it was a constant spiral into the nether. Your brother must have some interests some may be secret but there must have been something that he did as a hobby or aspired for in his years before collapse.

Try to rekindle that interest a bit maybe? But also be tough my brother would feed on other peoples emotions. He would push buttons when he was upset just to deflect the focus. Hes always on defence. If he doesnt respond to coming over spending time with you over the holidays. Well you may have to be really tough.......

Saying something like " I will not watch the brother i love destroy himself. Your hurting everyone including me. i want zero contorl of your life, thats all up to you. I want to see you shine like i know you can " Give him a list of places youve looked up that offer help, offer to attend if you can if hes ok with that. But be stern and say " If you wont do this for yourself i cannot be in contact with you any longer because this hurts me to much." " Im not disappointed in you at all i just want my brother back and i need him."

Its hard on both sides to be tough or vulnerable. But you will ultimately know better than i ever will. But soemtimes even if you can deal with it. he may need your support though maybe never admit it. I myself had to let my brother in more than i would have liked into my own zone to discover how to help and for him to discover he needed and wanted it himself.

People that are loved and falling take their loved ones with them. Most times not understanding that the concern and anger they show is love. If only we could find a way.

I wish you the best outcome

Posted by Rooster4u
P-Angel,

I have to tell you. After reading your posts, it shocked me. Partly because you are exactly right. It is his life. But he is also "crying on mom", and coming to family members expressing the "red flag for help", maybe he doesnt know how to help himself. Maybe he doesnt want the help. But if Gingerscorp doesnt try to make some dent she is going to be left with guilt that she didnt "make some attempt". So its at least worth trying. Good points though P-angel.

Yes, I understand the guilt .. it's about the guilt of the living who has to carry on every day of thier lives because they thought they lost something that might be thier fault, rather than being thankful for what they had but never thought about what they had, until the fear of losing it was present.

Pisces people can handle death, Ginger ... we are the ones who can hold an empty gun to our heads, pull the triger and then laugh, while every other person in the room is puking from total and utter fear.

Death is something we think about every day of our lives ... his life can literally hang on the edge of a cliff, and it doesn't mean he is in need, it doesn't mean he is lost or weak, it doesn't mean he is crying out for help ... it only means he is a Piscean.

Have you ever cut yourself, Satori?


Do you know what it feels like to have the relief of that stinging searing sensation run through you?



My point here, and perhaps it does seem ridiculous to you ... is that what seems wrong to you (3rd person), may not be to another. Just because a person does something that you wouldn't do, doesn't make it wrong.


Ginger, and you apparantly, and others ... are viewing this from the perspective that this Pisces must be crying out for help because help is needed and basing this off of because he is doing something you all wouldn't do, so if you wouldn't do it, then it must be abnormal.

And I am saying that it may be perfectly normal to him to express himself this way .. he might like the way it feels.

I like the way it feels to be bound, pinched ..... it's a turn on.

This might be getting him sexually aroused for alls you know.


I think in worrying about this whole thing is ridiculuous ... Ginger worries for herself, and not for him .. but, calls it worrying for him. And I know this because, as you Satori and others, she is viewing this as if he's messed up, like something is wrong .. when it's probably not wrong at all .. he's just being a Pisces.

So, if nothing is really wrong with him ... then the feeling of worrying is for her own satisfaction in that she worried about something.



I'd bet you a dollar that if you asked him ... he'd look at you like you lost your mind and then laugh at you.

Because he's a Pisces ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ .... again, we can handle death, we think about death no matter how ridiculous you may think that is because in your mind you can only acknowledge worry and how do you control another enough into believing that this should be wrong for them to like the way the slice feels.