My Scorpio guy is suddenly different

Hi all -

I've been reading this message board for a few weeks now & know this is the best place to come for advice with my Scorpio guy!! I look forward to any & all responses.

I've known this Scorp for 3 years running now, and he had asked me out almost a year ago when my previous relationship was on the rocks. I politely declined and thanked him, saying maybe down the road.

Well, at the end of this May, the "road" came front & center, and we just looked at each other & knew it was right to begin something. And begin we did...to the moon! Even though we had been acquaintances (we have mutual friends) for some time now, we became very close, very quickly. I haven't felt like this since my first love. I'm not usually one to be swept off my feet (33 year old Sag with a Cap ascendant & Venus; Taurus moon) but it felt so right. And I went with it, eventually full speed.

Trouble is, I feel that once he wooed me & we connected, he's taken a step back, which is hard for me to understand. I've felt the change as early as 2 weeks ago.

I do know that he is going through something big right now (which we have talked about in the past), but when I try & talk about it with him, he kind of says a few things & shuts up. That's his prerogative, I understand, but it seems to me that I will now be taken for granted and he has given little to go on.

I can love & support him and give him all the space he needs (after all, I'm a pretty independent girl myself), but just feel he is expecting me to understand a whole lot about him and give him his space without asking questions. Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't it take 2?

This is all making me feel very vulnerable and like we moved too quickly too soon (again, something I don't usually do) and now I'm feeling naked so to speak, with little to go on other than: "I wouldn't be here with you if I wasn't 'in'" or "you can't help me with this, so what's the point?"
This all makes me feel like shit, plus a little angry in that he's not the only one with big stuff going on in his life. Everyone does at times.

So, right now, part of me wants to be his "nursemaid" and just "be there" for him in a very non-needy way. On the other hand, part of me feels taken for granted and afraid that if I don't speak up for myself, it could get worse.

To run or to stay? Please help!
I do love this person and feel very connected, but I'm also practical when it comes to long-term security and not sure where to draw the line.
Is he testing me? How can I want to totally support him and also hit him over the head for being so unyielding?

It would be one thing if we worked slowly into this stage, but we were like honeymooners for almost 2 months, and now we're here. And I'm not sure if this is normal Scorpio behavior...come on full-speed & then retract?


He has some minor selfish characterists too that scare me a bit, but I forget those when he says something beautiful to me. Am I being selfish in this instance? Or am I being smart in being concerned?

Thanks guys!

Hello dear, here's a Cappie here....

I'm trying to understand more about these mysterious Scorpios so I'm not sure I can help you here. But Scorps and Cappies are much alike so I think I understand him.

I know one thing: cool down! It's not as bad as you think it is! It seems he's got a personal problem here and he's not sure if someone else can completely understand him. Being a Scorp he finds it difficult to trust someone else with his deepest fears and worries. You've only known eachother for such a short time so there's not a complete trust between you, at least not yet! Just take the time to let the trust grow dear....

And maybe you can't help him with it, sometimes people have to fight their battles alone. I've been in a major depression myself and I wouldn't let anyone in also, it was too difficult for me to talk as well. So don't see as your personal failure alright? It's also your OWN insecurity bothering you, please keep faith in yourself! So far your relationship has been wonderful so believe in it just a little longer!

And maybe you should give him the space he needs, but tell him you're there for him anyway. You can show it in so many ways, just keep on loving and hugging him and show him you care, despite his aloofness. Because underneath that distant face he still loves you...you know what I mean?

Just keep your faith my dear! Just love him the way he is....If he's faught his battle he will come back to you for sure, from what I can hear!

Seagoat

SG,

My, my you do pay attention and do your homework. Sounds like you have these Scorps figured out! I have always found as soon as you think you've got them, they will slip right out of your grasp. Careful, there is alot more to them than meets the eye! 😉 Nobody really knows anyone when it comes right down to it. There is always apart of the 'Scorpio' that will never be known to anyone, they will always keep part of themselves hidden from everyone!!!

Yes I understand what you mean, if I want to learn something I take my time to learn something inside out! I have 3 planets in Scorpio, including my Mars, must be the culprit I guess...😉

But seriously, I'm not pretending I know Scorps well now, it's just that I can understand her uncertainty so well! But when someone acts aloof it doesn't mean everything's all wrong suddenly....Maybe it has more to do with HER uncertainty than you know....Believe me, I've been there! She just has to have a little more faith in herself and her Scorpio before she throws it all away....don't you agree? From what I've heard it's a wonderful relationship so far, maybe she's got lucky and found herself a GOOD Scorp!

See yah! And hugs to 112.226 as well, I'm only trying to cheer you up my dear....

Seagoat

"Trouble is, I feel that once he wooed me & we connected, he's taken a step back, which is hard for me to understand. I've felt the change as early as 2 weeks ago."

I would never pretend like I know what a Scorpio man is thinking. They are mysterious creatures. I can only speculate, and that isn't really going to help you much. I will give you my opinion, and you can take it for what it's worth. I was raised by a Scorpio father and I can give you this much introspection. I would assume he needs time to himself to reflect and think seriously about where he is, where he has been, and where he is heading. A good man(most Scorpios are) would never want to leave you hanging. For right now, I would give him his space and privacy to reflect and sort through his feelings. Since things progressed so fast he may be feeling vunerable! They need time to build any trust. I would hold off on any feelings of neglect or self doubt. Give him the benifit of the doubt, and let him have the time he needs for introspection. Scorpios are extremely private and may need time to just gather his wits. Things may just need to settle in and for him to think about all that has happened. I wouldn't take it personally, not yet anyways. Hang in there and I bet he will let you know one way or another where you stand. When it comes to anothers persons feelings, they would never leave you out there wondering. They will let you know where you stand...one way or another. Please, be patient!!!
S.

Hello to both SeaGoat & "S"

First let me begin by thanking you for your replies - They are very helpful!!

After I posted my message last night, I spent a truly wonderful evening with my guy. He cooked dinner and I was just loving & affectionate & "there" for him. This made us both feel good!

I do agree that if I continue to be patient and let the trust build on his part, etc. that it could turn out quite nicely for us both. I guess I've always just had a hard time letting someone else dictate the pace of anything I'm involved in! I am very independent and impatient at times.

I must say that I definitely get the message that he is mine for the taking, IF I meld into his world, assimilate into his schedule, etc. The only person I ever came close to marrying was another early Scorpio & he definitely wanted me all to himself, rarely showing interest in things that interested me if they didn't already interest him. Hmmm.

This I guess is the struggle we will face. My indepence and impatience (hello Sagittarius!) and his determination and quiet intensity.

Well I know that I certainly do not want to let this one go, at least not at this time. So I will hang in there and maybe try giving to him without expecting something in return.
Scorpio or no Scorpio, this is the way to be in life I think!!

Based on the way I grew up, I definitely developed trust issues (or maybe it's the Cap in my chart?) and vowed that once I was old enough to take care of myself, I would never, ever be dependent on anyone for my happiness, or let someone else dictate my life.

Maybe this guy has come along to teach me that it actually is OK to depend on someone from time to time, or more importantly, give without expecting a return? Maybe this is my lesson.
Maybe I need to let my guard down with him and just trust in the universe?

I will write back again when I have news.

Thanks again guys!!
(And good luck with your guy Sea Goat!)

Thanks! I need it...He just needs to have a little faith in me. That's what it's all about isn't it? Trust in yourself and in someone else....😉

Seagoat

We've heard this one many times before but I am willing to say it again..

BEWARE of "certain" (to save the peace I am not going to generalise) male scorps...

They love the chase.. Will set their sights on someone (especially someone they think is out of their reach or even better, young, sweet and innocent).. Will go after you with an almighty, almost neurotic fervour. They will use ANY tactic (they have no concience or pride whatsoever). The harder the battle, the better.. UNTIL THEY SUCCEED...

You will be wooed and seduced and treated like Lady Luck... You will definately LOOSE YOURSELF in all this glory (and your friends, and your family, with all the lovemaking you may even loose your job because you won't have time to go to work).

Now this sounds just great BUT just when you think all your dreams have come true and that you are the luckiest woman on the face of the earth
CRASH!!! BAM!!!! .... Something changes...

The game is over and Mr Scorp suddenly becomes a stranger.....

He has lost all interest and the worst part of all is that HE doesn't even know why...

He will now discard you without looking back, and move on to his next unsuspecting victim...

Can anyone convince me that this is a good person—

Hi Guys

I hate to agree with 168 (the post above) but well I do. My advice for the original poster is take it easy - beware because what 168 posted can and does happen - it happened to me and I still am hung up on the guy. For your sake I hope your scorpio guy is one of the good ones! Best Wishes.

"You will be wooed and seduced and treated like Lady Luck... You will definately LOOSE YOURSELF in all this glory (and your friends, and your family, with all the lovemaking you may even loose your job because you won't have time to go to work)."

Give us a break on this, will you!!! You have been on this site running down Scorp men before. Just because one did you wrong, so you say, doesn't mean they are all like that!!!

I find the statement about losing family, friends, and job really funny! Your gonna blame that on them too— If you are so stupid as to lay in bed when you suppose to be at work, then that is your own stupid fault!!

Let's move on , you are starting to sound like a broken record!!!

Why so defensive.... Are you perhaps a guilty Scorp.. If not, may the sun shine so brightly on your head, and the wind be so strong behind your back, so as NEVER to run into one of these my dear.. You also, will never live it down....

"Why so defensive.... Are you perhaps a guilty Scorp."

Wrong again! I remeber when you were over hear drooling over a Scorpio's comments on a particular thread, and how you contimplated cheating on your Leo husband. If anyone has something to live down, I would say it is YOU!!! You need to get over your disappointment and move on!

Yes of course you are quite right..

In any case "revenge" would be quite sweet but I will leave that one also to the nasty Scorps...

Thanks for your advice once again.. And I sincerely meant every good word above..

A liar and a cheat seem to go hand and hand. You opened this door and I will close it if you want to continue!!! Head on back to your favorite site and suck up to them!! I don't buy it! There isn't anything sincere about you!

"In any case "revenge" would be quite sweet but I will leave that one also to the nasty Scorps..."

Nasty huh? But not too nasty to have sex with, right!!!!!!!!

I think you're the only one who's NASTY!

and BITTER!

There is a reason you find women running down Scorpio men on astrological bulletin boards.
No, not all are the same. But there is such things as general trends and patterns, if you don't believe in that, you shouldn't be on an astrology board.

I am close to several male Scorpios right now, and was married to one. One of them I have known for 15 years. Most of my male friends (notice, friends, not boyfriends) are male Scorpios who are able to open up to me. Thats because I have known most of them a very long time without the pressure of a relationship acting on our connection. Also it may help to be a scorpio myself, they sense some familarity in me.

A good one is a rare but remarkable find.
When you meet up with a lowly evolved one though, better strap on your seatbeat for the abuse. They will leave you dangling on the end of a string. They will play it close to the chest as not to tip their hand. Some really do love the conquest, the more of a challenge the better.

Then when they withdraw, they can be colder than the North Pole. After getting what they want, there is no more reason for the pretense. Great great manipulaters of women.

When they do fall in love for real, they may be holding back at first because of the control issue thing. The man I have known 15 years I met when I was 15 and just now, has totally opened up to me. We have a very intense emotional connection, and have been in love all this time.

Only I would come closer to arsenic than to have a relationship with him after the way I have seen him treat women. Manpiulating them ruthlessly until he gets what he wants. He needs ultimate power in a relationship and plays long, torture filled headgames with unsuspecting women.


Mind you, we have been best friends all this time, like brother and sister. He has been the most emotionally supportive I ever met and always there for me. We always know what the other is thinking and doing.
Its strange how Scorpio can make such great friens but be so terrible in relationships (unless they are the highly evolved kind)He is the sort who wants a primary partnership for the security but then wants to mess around on the side for the conquests and extra sex. Each woman feels like the only one, too and becomes consumed in his intensity and passion.


Look out for that.

Thanks 65 for your input....

To 205 I REST MY CASE......

And so I bow out gracefully.....

168 and 68, you have been very respectful with what you have said. I agree with you, s men can be damn ruthless sometimes!!!

Didnt mean any offence there but as ive said before, there are good and bad in every sign.

So stay away from them now!

I'm close to quite a few Scorpios too! Especailly my father, a boss, and my best friend. I've always felt loved, protected, and cherished by all of them. If they don't like you, you'll no about it too! They have severe likes and dislikes. Scorpio men are by far the best men on the planet! They are strong, courageous, (just to name two)and they make a woman feel like one! How bad is that!

I could fill up this thread with praise for Scorpion men! don't have time so we will have to continue........

I'm close to quite a few Scorpios too! Especailly my father, a boss, and my best friend. I've always felt loved, protected, and cherished by all of them. If they don't like you, you'll know about it too! They have severe likes and dislikes. Scorpio men are by far the best men on the planet! They are strong, courageous, (just to name two)and they make a woman feel like one! How bad is that!

I could fill up this thread with praise for Scorpion men! don't have time so we will have to continue........

Maybe it's because they don't want anything else from you than support and friendship.....

Sex and love make Scorpios vulnerable and therefore dangerous! I gather that now....

I'd just like to know how soon you can see if you have to do with a good or manipulative Scorp...

Seagoat

Ok, back again to finish what I started!

I just want to add to all of these negative post about Scorpios a different perspective.

Scorpios and especially men are getting a bad rap here. There are many types and different degrees of intensity in all of us. I believe that the Scorpio man always means well.

They do have their own personality quirks and are secretive etc...but beneath everything they really do care about other peoples feelings and want very much for things to work out for everyone!!!

They really care about people's happiness and want to make them happy!

There are alot of Scorpio men that have broken plenty of hearts and they are the stuff dreams are made of, and they do happen to piss alot of the women off when they decide to move on, but no matter what sign you are if your heart is not in it and it tells you this person is not right...then you must listen to it.

If you are lucky enough to end up with one of these creatures--you will never be bored, you'll know what loyalty, and manogomy and deep friendship is!!!

"Sex and love make Scorpios vulnerable and therefore dangerous! I gather that now...."

SG

I would take the word dangerous out of the statment. It is another negative slant and not necessarly true.

Yes, Scorps are incredibly strong and courageous except when it comes to their own vunerability, and the deeper their feelings are the harder it is sometimes to deal with!!!

I agree, the word "dangerous" is not the right word, but the fact stays that Scorps don't like their own vulnerability and do everything to protect it! And so do I by the way, love makes everybody vulnerable! No matter what sign you are.....

Right now I'm scared as well, I feel like giving up on my Scorpio guy. He's not answering my messages and I wonder why. He knows I really like him and want him, I've sent him some really honest messages the last couple of days. Dispite the discussion of either telling or not telling your true feelings to a Scorpio, I've heard so many contradictions about this!!! But I'm the kind of person that can't hide her feelings so I've been honest with him because it's how I interact with people.

So he's doing a Scorpio trick right now, the "disappearing act". I'll have to wait and see why, it's either because he feels embarrased and doesn't reciprocate my feelings. Or it's BECAUSE he feels the same and doesn't know what to do with those feelings!

And yes, I've thought about the whole cheating stuff very deeply. It freaked me out for a whole day....But the fact is I need and I like him, simple as that. You never know what the future brings, I prefer to do things and learn from them, instead of walking away. I've walked away too many times in my life, and it's always made me unhappy. It's time to live life fully! And that means you sometimes you have to take a risk....only then you can win!!!!

That huge Jupiter in my 8th house of sex and power is here to stay for another whole year...capeesh?

I need to go to bed now...it's 5.15 AM here! See yah!


Seagoat

205.188, im confused. Are you susan? Arent you a libra? Just wondering. Sometimes your posts seem really nice and then other times they seem a bit nasty. Are there a few different people posting under the number 205? Or is it the one person?

I dont think its very nice bringing up what people have said in the past, this is immature and nasty.

Maybe so but it is the truth. don't ask if you don't want it!

Yes, it is 5:45 am and I have had 3 hours of sleep and I am feeling very aggressive. As a matter of fact, I am also driving a huge Ford F250 pick up and I have road rage!!! I feel like I could blow people right off the road, and I like it!!! Tonya Harding is my kind of girl. You wouldn't see her taking any crap from some nilly man!!!
Sea goat, you need to give up on that guy! He is somebody else! If he does happen to spend time with you, it is for one reason!!! I don't mean to sound too harsh to you but damn girl, you have given any bit of respect for yourself and power you had to this slug!!! You need to love yourself first before anyone else will!! Think about what you are doing and get some respect back for yourself. I cringe when I read some of your posts.

He is with somebody else! Correction. I'll tell you who a good man is---that guy on the MSNBC radio show Don Imus
now there is a man. Not very good looking but he does have a brain and he is funny as hell!!!

"I dont think its very nice bringing up what people have said in the past, this is immature and nasty."

Sea goat,

You want to explain this comment— When have I ever tried to be anything but nice and support of to YOu?? If I have been nasty it hasn't been to you. But since you want to make insinuations then I will direct my opinions toward you too!

I have been reading nothing but posts from you about this guy, your problems and your un happy childhood. I think you have a little to much time on your hands and need to find another hobby other then being a homewreaker! You need to stop blaming your mother for your actions as an adult! We all have sob stories aabout what happened to us as a children, but you are an adult and are responsible for your choices and own behavior!!! Trying to seduce a guy that is already is in a relationship shows the type of woman you really are. I am thinking your b/f sees this too. Stop thinking only about what you need and want, and do what is right. Have some integrity and some self respect and go find a man who not only cares about you but is available!!

and no I am not aggressive just an asshole sometimes!!!!!!!!!

The truth always hurts doesn't it!!!!

Message to Seagoat

Hi I'm a 33 yr old female cap who has been in your situation (about a year ago I met my scorpio in work) and I know what it feels like. I still am in love with this guy although he has been out of my life now for 9 months. It has taken me quite a while to work them out or should I say try and understand them but I hope this helps.

Yes I do think there are male scorpios who are cheats and lairs but I dont think they do it intentionally. Scorpios love mysteries and things that intrigue them. Example I had just come out of a 13 yr old relationship - I was quiet, withdrawn and not interested in anything but going to work, getting my work done, coming home and trying to sort my life out. I suppose in away I was the one who stood out because of my indifferent behaviour. When I first talked with this guy he used to ask me questions like why are you so unhappy etc etc. Point: At first this was just a general enquiry but the more he learned the more he wanted to know. Scorpios have an obessive nature they dont stop to they get to the bottom of things. What started out as 5 minutes a day ended up with us spending every possible moment together - at times when other colleagues where about I could feel him watching me, I could feel that intensity across the room (lets be honest so did my colleagues as well). I dont think scorpios go out to cheat on their partners but get carried away and so wrapped up in the other person that they just cant help it.

My scorpio used to say things which I know he meant at the time but never got round to doing anything about them. Another example: used to say things like look what you do to me I'm a quiver rack with just being in the same room as you. This was true I could physically see it but BIG POINT I thought I was the only person who could do that to him. He made me feel the same and I assumed that well we had to be made for each other because never had I felt or physically done that to another before. Scorpios are so intense I have no doubt they can and do contact with others like that. They make you feel special, loved, cherished, safe etc etc but I do believe they mean it at that precise time you are all to them they mean it all. Unfortunately they can also connect this way with hundreds of others - I need to be in love to feel this way! So you see its not because theyre bad or selfish but because they feel and connect so quickly with others. Looking back I know my scorpio and I were good together, that we had something very special even though it was very brief and was never meant to last but hey I have learnt from it. Dont think badly of scorpios be thankful that you knew and had something special with one. I just hope that one day I will be lucky enough to met another and well who knows. Seagoat read my posts from as long ago as 6 months and you will probably recognise the story! I know its hard caring and loving someone and theres no doubt if and when you read them that you will see how much I cared but point is dont let it put you off scorpions but prepare you for when you next met one and for you too who knows. Best Wishes

First of all,

that nasty comment about the past did NOT come from me but from 203.134.27.104! Get your facts straight before you start accusing me wrongfully!!

Second, I don't care if you find me pathetic when I tell you my life story, it's a general story and there's much more than you think. My actions as an adult today have nothing to do with my mother, I'm only trying to explain that I've changed for the better. Education does have a great impact on everyone's life but few people choose to do something about their pain! As is obvious when I listen to you....

Third, I'm not a homewrecker, HE's the one who approached me. It's HIS own choice if he wants to do this, he's also an adult. I don't have a boyfriend, I'm filing for divorce because I've changed too much. BTW I've been in that relationship for 15 years, does that say anything to you about my loyalty?!

And forth, I've already told him I want a real relationship instead of only sex so he needs to decide what to do now. It's best if he breaks up with his girlfriend before he starts with me and I will tell him that the next time I see him!

And fifth, you do NOT know what kind of person I am simply by some posts on a MB so you have no right to judge me!

And I'm still being nice here....

Seagoat

Ok, the 'nasty' comment came from me, 210.50. Different number, dont know what happened.

Just not sure about everyone's numbers as they seem to change sometimes, as did mine.

I didnt mean for my post to be nasty, just cant understand why some of 205's posts are nice and others are, ok, 'honest', if thats what you want to call it. Who cares anyway, i just let rip at that gemini guy who insists on telling us he wont 'cheat' on his wife. I dont mind cheaters as such but i cant stand people who lie about it so i retract what i said about nastiness.

Anyway, all that aside, its nice to be honest. If everyone practices it then i will too.

BTW Seagoat, i have found your posts to be nice, friendly and i think you are a nice person. You have approached your problem with sobriety and not insipid delusion, like the gemini guy.

In with hate, out with love.

PS. Didnt mean to cause a fight between 64 and seagoat, make up please!

WE DiD!!!

"205.188, im confused. Are you susan? Arent you a libra? Just wondering. Sometimes your posts seem really nice and then other times they seem a bit nasty. Are there a few different people posting under the number 205? Or is it the one person?"

210-203?

You need to stop stalking me! I've already told you I'm not into women! I LOVE MEN! So stop following from thread to thread drooling over me!!!

Now that's an honest reply!!

Thanks for the compliments, I try to be as honest and completely myself as I can!

I do have a problem with a Scorp guy and I still have to real answer to it. But rest assured, this situation of doubt and fear can't go on much further. So I sent him a message, telling him I want to know where I stand or what I mean to him! This "waiting game" has been going on for two weeks and I've had enough of it. I feel neglected and I hate it!

I will call him tomorrow or Tuesday to ask him what he wants, and I want an honest answer. I can live with his answer, as long as he's honest! If he's not interested anymore I will let go and move on. But if he's still interested I will tell him I still want a real relationship, not just sex. And I DO NOT want to end up as a mistress who longs for a guy who will never leave his girlfriend or wife. Period!

But still....I'm a real sucker for love so that's my weak point. I'm still confused and afraid but I know I have to do this to get some peace in my head. But like S said, you have to love yourself first!!! We'll see how it goes....

Seagoat

64.12,
Im not drooling over you, get with the program!!! You're very cheeky!!!

Is that like--pull your head out of your ass! Is that what you are saying??

Can you help me then? Show me how it's done!

No thanks, i dont feel like going down that end of town.

Anyway, arent we talking about Seagoat and her scorpio man troubles?!!!

Well, for some reason the monitor has something against my posts! Everyone else's garbage remains but mine! But believe me you missed the boat on my previous post!
S