How big is your need for sex?

Seagoat here...again...

They say Scorpios love sex but just how important is it for you? Would you stay in a good relationship even if it had no good sex? And just how long would such a relationship without sex last? And can you have a relationship ONLY for the sex? And what do you think of such a person, someone who's only in it for the sex? Do you have to be at least friends, and can something bigger grow out of such a sex-based relationship?

My story is already posted on the Board but I'd like to hear some comments on the sex part from you. I'm a female Cappie just getting to know a male Scorp....

Seagoat

I'll only answer these questions with one word to you Seagoat! It is a matter of personal choice. I have know alot of Scorpios that can be both, a house on fire and then suppress it for very very long times. There are those who are in control of themselves and then there are those don't.

1. Yes

2. Depends

3. No

Hmm, a bit difficult because I asked 4 questions and I got only 3 answers...not to be picky but which answer belongs to which question?

Thanks! Anymore comments from anyone else?

Seagoat

Ok, your right, sorry! The first question should be

1. extremely
2. yes
3. depends
4. no

"They say Scorpios love sex but just how important is it for you?"

For me, it is highly important. It can be the most unifying experience a couple (or even just 2 consenting people) can embark on together, and also very healing. Like therapy. It is the highest of highs--but I try not to let it be THE # 1 priority in my life. Overall, it is hugely important though.

"Would you stay in a good relationship even if it had no good sex?"

I've done it before, but here's the thing. Looking back, I realized that the relationship wasn't as good as I thought it was, so in the future I probably wouldn't do it again. Unless the love of my life (or whoever shares my bed) suddenly became paralyzed or had a health problem. I wouldn't leave him based on that. And really, most sexual "problems" can be worked out with time, patience and desire, so I guess my answer is, it depends on the situation. If the man doesn't show enough interest in me or is weak and docile in the bedroom, or is treating me badly outside the bedroom, that would really bother me and thus have a negative effect on the sex life...therefore such behavior left unchecked would result in me leaving him.

"And can you have a relationship ONLY for the sex?"

I have tried to trick myself into thinking that I could before, but (thank God) stopped things before sex occurre, knowing that this guy was never going to commit or feel as deeply for me as I felt for him--therefore my answer is no. I need to feel connected in ALL ways to a guy, in order to have a sexual relationship. That's not to say I've not had a one-night stand, but even then I had known the guy a week, and talked to him for hours on end and felt a very deep union with him.

"And what do you think of such a person, someone who's only in it for the sex?"

I think that if that works for them, so be it--go get meaningless sex from another woman who has no self-respect, cause this chick knows she's got more to offer than her body and if he can't appreciate that, the next guy will.

"Do you have to be at least friends, and can something bigger grow out of such a sex-based relationship?"

Yes, friendship first AT LEAST--and hopefully there are very deep feelings of friendship there before the sex. To the second part of that question, for me, yes, but if I sensed that he wasn't all about progressing, the sex would end.

I know this is all just MY perspective, but there it is; hope it helps...

Take care,
Heather

You are just so coool Miss Heather! Love ya to pieces!!!
Best of everything you could possibly dream!!!
Susan

Why Miss Susan, love ya to pieces back!! Best to you as well, and you're higher on the cool-o-meter than I am! : )

Heather

with all due respect-(or as much as I can muster)-Heather-I beleive that I read on a post of yours that you are like 20 years old-what in Gods name could you know about relationships-and how many people have you had sex with? What the hell, did you start doing it when you were 10 years old? You are a child that thinks that she has lived-talk to me in 20 years and your stories will be believable!
And as for you, sister mary sunshine/and her evil twin sister (Susan)-one minute you are supportive and the next you are posting nasty messages-you may want to check the dosage of that happy pill you are on!
And while I am at it, where is that know-it-all, Star? I haven't seen her posts in a wile-she must be on another board telling others-just how darn wonderful she is!
You people are pathetic-and someone should buy you a clue!

...oh....and as for the brain-surgeon that posted the original message-CHA/DAH....Yes, SEX makes the world go round! No, no one stays in a sexless relationship for very long (that is:unless their needs are being met on the side)! And believe it or not, sparky, there are thousands upon thousands of people having (OMG) casual sex (with perfect strangers-mind you)...and guess what-I think they may be "in it for the sex"! Sorry, I hope that you are not weak of heart there, sparky-but welcome to the real world!!!! GEEZ, was there no room for you to post on the Brittney Spears site?

Hey, first of all where the hell do you get off asking me how many people I've had sex with? What kind of nosy-ass question is that? What grade are you in? You sound extremely young and immature to ask such a question and make such unsolicited comments as you've made. What, do you get your thrills asking people personal questions about their sex life, and then being judgemental? How disgustingly lame and pathetic you are. Get a life of your own and if you have nothing intelligent or worthwhile to add to this conversation (which it's quite clear you don't) then take your a** out of it. You're a complete idiot. I wonder what brought you to this thread in the first place? Huh? Well?? And yes, I am 20, what the hell does that have to do with anything? How old are YOU? Judging by the way you write I would guess no older than twelve. And that's being generous. I pity you--you must have such an empty head to only be able to come up with the trash you just wrote.

Suck one.

Heather

And by the way--lay off of Susan--who are you to refer to her writing nasty messages? What kind of message do you think YOU just wrote? Can we say, "HYPOCRITE"? Also, I could give a rat's a** if you think my "stories" (whatever the hell THAT means) aren't "believable". Do you actually think I would waste my time making up s*** for the benefit of a message board community? Sorry hun, I'm nowhere near as lame as you, but I can see why your own insecurity would drive you to make such dumbass accusations. What's the matter? Jealous??

Again, suck a big one.

Heather

Good comeback to that unfriendly poster Heather!

I have to agree with your points to Seagoat. Sex IS important, and from someone trying to extract themselves from a 25 yr relationship with very little intimacy - I agree that staying in a relationship that has no sex is probably not good. It'd not so much that I can't do without (obviously..), but the lack of intimacy definitely means there are issues that need to be worked out and if a couple can't work that out then there isn't much of a relationship is there?

I'm not talking about a situation where there may be physical limitations of course - that's a whole different issue.

And I don't think I would want to pursue a relationship just for the sake of sex either. I too feel much too strong a connection with a partner for there not to be something more than just the sex.

Love to all.
Rose

Good answer, Rose.

You make a good point that if the intimacy in a relationship isn't there, it's likely a reflection on the status of the other areas of the relationship. Liked your post! : )

Heather

Thanks Heather.

BTW - I can relate to your comments on 'hiding out' while you work things out (other posts). I've been lurking on a couple of these boards for a while - maybe a bit of participation would be good for me :^)

Rose

Hehe, well at least I'm not the only one with this habit!...I look forward to more of your posts. Are you a Scorpio? If not, what's your sign?

Take care,
Heather

Yeah - I can relate to quite a few of the posters on these boards. And yes, I'm a Scorp - and a pretty typical one by the sounds of all I read!!

Rose

Hello Heather and Rose!

I had a big laugh when I read those nasty posts...Britney Spears my a**! You did brilliantly my dear Heather, the Scorp sting can be quite vicious! Well done...

Just wanted to tell you that I can't have a relationship just for the sex either. I've tried it several times but it's no fun so it ended soon. I really care for this guy and I'm always happy to see him, as difficult as he can be. We're slowly becoming friends and that matters to me. There HAS to be some kind of connection in the first place! But so far we haven't had much time alone because I only met him at work. But he promised me a ROMANTIC dinner as well, he didn't just want to have sex in a car! And I don't either, first I want to talk, create a bond, and then the sex will even be better....😉

So I'm doing this because I care for him, although I've protected my heart so far. I want to give him the joy he's missed for so long now....You can read the rest of my story in the other thread!

Maria (also known as Seagoat)

"Suck one", Heather?....careful now your age is showing! So today I must teach the young and dumb what a rhetorical question is-hmmmmm-to make it simple for you-(my simpleton)-I wasn't askng you how many people you have had sex with-I was making the comment that in order for you to have had all of those "life experiences" (that you pretend to have had)-you must have began way back when you were in grade school! It is clear that I hit a nerve-but there is nothing to be ashamed of...some people are simply "loose"-don't beat yourself up over it!
And as far as the "I need to get a life" comment...that one is good-seeing that you post a hundred times a day on this site-I am wondering-how you find the time to have all of that sex! Maybe you do it with a keypad in your hand (power-screwing)-who knows! It'll be okay, Heather, someday you will find a real man (or woman-if that is the way you go)...and there will be no need to play "make believe"! Go back to playing with your barbie-dolls and leave this site to real grown-ups!
P.S...Sparky? Opps, I did it again.....

Wow!

"Can't we all just get along?"

I've had enough! I'm gonna go watch Soul Train! I've been watching the same shows for the last almost 30 years! Kind of stuck in my ways! hehehe

I'm not even listening to you 130, get OFF this Board if you're not intested in taking all this seriously! I'm still being friendly here.....I'm not degrading myself to your simple thoughts, I don't waste my energy on you! It's obvious you have a HUGE problem with sex so I'd suggest you go to a counseler....maybe someone like Heather? Hehehehehe! Get a grip on yourself my dear, life is too short to be as angry at other people as you are! Cheers!

Seagoat

Oh my-Sparky-I believe I am getting to you-sweetness! I am not the one with a sexual problem-let's see-that would be YOU! Recently divorced and confused by this new guy-who only wants to get into your pants! HEADS UP, Sparky...All men want SEX! Oh my gosh-what? Really? They do? At least the guy had enough balls (or maybe stupidity) to be honest and tell you that SEX is all that he wants from you! Where is the brain surgery here?
Good God...how am I suppose to take this silly stuff, seriously?

209,

What's up? I haven't seen you around in awhile. Are you doin alright? I hope so! You are jumpin on everyone today, why— It may be none of my business, but I have to tell you, keep it up and you may get banned from the board, and I don't want to see you go! You haven't been around awhile, but you use to post more often, and I enjoyed the messages!!!

I have to go hang up laundry and then go grocery shopping. I will talk to you later tonight, if you would like.

Peace,
Susan

Hahahahahahahahaha! LOL! You're funny 130!

Seagoat

Hey 209 - is this the guy's perspective on Seagoat's situation (not to mention Heather's) - or are you just very cynical? Just curious.

Rose

209, thanks for informing me what a rhetorical questions is, as if I didn't know. Where would we all be without your sage wisdom? And yes, "suck one" still stands. That's my sage wisdom for you, my dear. Where did you get that I think I've had life experiences? The whole point of posting on here is to ask questions, ask other people's advice, and share what's going on in our lives. If the fact that I actually have one and you don't bothers you (and it's clear it does--I don't know what era you were 20 in, but in mine, one isn't considered "loose" for sleeping with only 2 men, not that that's any of your business but if you want to make me look like a slut then I will correct you)--if this bothers you then why do you read my messages and then respond to them?

Like I said before, I could give a s*** whether you think I'm "pretending" to have life experince or not (although how flattering for me, you must have lead such a boring life for you to think that my common experiences are so exotic they MUST be fake)--it doesn't matter to me. But you made a huge mistake trying to make it look as if I'm, in your words, "loose". That's really laughable, and kind of sad for you that you have to attack me out of nowhere out of some evil, bitter need to cut me down, which you will never succeed at doing, try as you might. So keep up the insults, just keep going, keep making a fool of yourself, because you're never going to win. I dare you to keep trying though--I'm wondering how lame you can possibly make yourself look, just to have a fight with someone who's SO MUCH younger than you. Tsk, tsk. Your real age showed the moment you opened your trap.

Bye bye!

Heather

P.S. Where do you get that I post a hundred times a day on this website? And once again, I'm flattered that you think I'm having "so much sex", but really, go find a man who can alleviate your insatiable curiosity honey.

Heather,

You said it...Trap. Don't keep walking into it. You're smarter than that, and it is only gonna keep the ball rolling.

I'll take care of 209. He/She just misses me and wants some more attention, isn't that right!!

Well I am home now, so if you want to play with someone you're own age, I am here for you!!! ok.
S

Hi! 209,

Just wanted to get back to you and see how you are doin?

Let's see what do I have to say, not too much!! I went shopping today at a new grocery store just for a thrill! Well not really. My sister and her three daugters came down for a visit during the fourth of July for a week. Well, they wanted to go swimming, so I took them to the pool near my house. Turned out they were closed! Well, I told my nieces "don't worry, Aunt Susie will find a pool for you to swim in" so I drove around until I found a nice hotel with a good pool and snuck them in. They love it! Do you know that they still talk about how there Aunt broke them into a hotel swimming pool illegally!!! That makes me smile every time my sister tell me that.

Anyway, while we there we saw some obviously abandoned cats and the kids wanted to feed them. They felt sorry for them. So we did. And after they left I have been left to do it every week. To make a long story short...the new grocery store I went to was next to the hotel where the kids went swimming. Let me tell you that was one heck of an experience...

...they had two armed police at each entrance and decoy cops roaming the isles. I could see what was going on quite easly, and this place was something else. I was glad the police were there!!! There is also a liquor store next to the Bi-Lo grocery store, and all kinds of action was taking place. I think something was going on!!! Anyway the nice man that owns the liquor store, who is a Scorpio, grows his own vegtables. His son works there and he is a Capricorn. Very good worker. So, I went in to see what new produce he had availabe...I got a beautiful watermelon for only 2 bucks and some fresh corn and I grow my own tomatoes so I didn't need any of those. Anyway my day was pretty exciting and now it is nightime so I am in and I better button down the hatches, so too speak!!

PS It would be nice to talk with someone, it gets kind of lonely when the sun goes down!

Susan

Oh! yeah my neighbor died today. Mr. Dillard. He was a great guy. He built my house and he has been ill for a long time! Now his poor wife is all alone. What is she gonna do— I had no idea he had passed away. I was going out to get the mail and take the garbage out and there was the hurst backed up to the garage. Boy, that just gave me the worst sinking feeling. That really bothers me when someone passes on. I know people die and all, but I just can't ever get over it. It doesn't seem fair we only get such a little time here on earth. I want to live as long as Moses did!!! So, now I'll be obsessing over death again, I suppose.

I'm sorry, I don't know how all this ties in with the topic at hand, but maybe we can think of sex and death being similar? I have read somewhere that sexual experience for many Scorpios is refered to as 'the little death" what do you suppose they mean by that! Maybe it is so good that they have an out of body experience?? What does anyone know about this , if anything??

Susan
Loves to learn

First I will address Susan...apparently-you have flipped your lid or something! From your posts-you appear to be bright enough-but maybe a bit unglued! You should know by now that the post markers have to do with the server/provider....so I am not the 209 that would be at all interested in your senseless ramblings! Save it for the old ladies at the beauty shop or for your doctor-when you are begging for more pain-killers!
Well, then, Heather-with a brain like a feather....FYI, I am a 28 year old/ male/scorpion-same decade as you, hmmmmm-and I think you ARE "loose"! Even your friend-Sparky-thinks so...she recommended you! Thanks for sharing the details of your sex life-you didn't have to! I will not bore you with mine -for I fear it pales in comparison to your "many experiences"! You are so the coolest on the cool-o-meter!

The only thing I beg from my doctor is his thourough pelvic exams, with his unusually large hands. Which by the way, are indicitive of larger more necesssary body parts, which is more than I can say for you!!!!

You seem to be a hater of women and I find that a shame. Do you hate your own mother too—

Yes, I am bright enough to know when I am wasting my time with a unhappy, distrustful, pain in the ass!!!! I will not bother!

And leave my friends alone, or I will unleash my heavy artillery and wipe you off the board...understand, little dick!!!!!!!!!

That's it. I'm done playin with you, you're on your own! It will come back on you one day.

I've come to the conclusion that we would all be wise to ignore this flagrant asshole. He is obviously intent on creating unnecessary drama and throwing out insults toward perfect strangers who could care less what he thinks in the first place, which is just...well, it's sad.

For the record, I am not "loose". I suppose to not be considered loose by this poster's standards, I would need to be a VIRGIN at the age of twenty (not that there's anything wrong with people who make that choice, but it's not for me, and I'm happy or at least at peace with almost all of the major decisions I've made in my life up until this point). I would like to thank this poster for his "analysis" of my character--now I know how a PRIEST would size me up. Very helpful, and oh-so-insightful. Not.

And the fact that after all his age-based superiority posturing, I find out he's only 28, just cracks me up. To be honest, I thought I was dealing with a 40-something year old, bitter and lonely woman (no offense to any 40ish women out there of course). This has all just spiraled into psycholand, and I'm better than that, and so are the rest of us Scorps who have an actual working brain inside of our skulls and attached to our bodies. What a waste of time and energy dealing with this...thing. The only thing I have to say at this point is that I can't wait for KARMA to unleash a mighty ass-kicking on this creature. It's coming. It always comes. I just hope it leaves one hell of a permanent welt.

Judge not, lest ye be judged, and let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Heather

LOL--and he's right, I AM the coolest on the cool-o-meter...compared to him. Oh, the immaturity of a 28-year-old-male. Of all the 28 year old men I know, I've never been spoken to in such a way--in fact I don't think anyone has ever disrespected me to the extent this poster has. Oh well, I suppose misery loves company and a miserable person will try everything in their power to drag you down into the depths of their own private hell. Which, in the scheme of things, is probably punishment enough for him.

Heather

Yes, my dear, don't let him drag you down to his behaviour alright? Just ignore him....😉 Besides, I'm 33 so I'm older than him, hahaha!

So can we get back to the subject of this topic now? If anyone's still interested anyway?

For myself I find it difficult to say if I can have a relationship ONLY for sex, I would at least have to like someone or feel safe and trusted with that person. But if I'm not in love the sex just isn't good....It's about a mental bonding as well, it's about feeling the NEED to be as close as I can get to someone I care about! Sex is about a complete merge with someone, you can't get any closer than this to that person. And if I don't like his mind I don't like his body either!

But then there's the difference between men and women...they say men can have sex without the mental bonding. But I'm not sure if it fits MY Scorpio guy! He's never had any one-night-stands, only sex in relationships. And what about the Scorp being insecure, feeling the need to trust someone first? After all he's showing me things he doesn't show anyone else....How important is sex in a spiritual and mental way to you?

Anyway, those are the things I'm thinking about....I feel physically attracted to this guy, he's got a beautiful body. If I tell him that he starts laughing, he still doesn't believe me! But it's also his straightforward and completey shameless attitude towards sex that excites me. AND I care for him because I can see his vulnerabilities clearly....ALL thanks to the Message Board, I understand his behavior completey now! Thanks guys...😉

Seagoat

P.S. To 209 or 130: (............*silence*)

You're right Heather he is not 28 years old. Well, maybe in dog years! He is an middle age male. I have tryed being his friend because he probably has none. But, apparently he doesn't want any! I would say that is a good idea to ignore it. He has alread done enough damage to me!
Susan

And there is nothing wrong with sex. If you are into somebody and they want it to, then enjoy it! Whatever anyone does is their own business!
Susan

"Judge not, lest ye be judged, and let he who is without sin cast the first stone"

I wouldn't waste my time quotes from the bible. This person is about as far away from God as you can get!

Hi Guys

This mighten be appropriate but hey - your posts brought a smile to my face this dull boring day!

I know its not nice slagging each other off but hey lifes a b**** at times.

So Good Morning to you all and remember today is another day!

Good mornin to you too!

Yes, it is another day. It's nice to get another one, and I hope we all get a bunch more!!!

152.163, my need for sex depends on how I feel. Also, if I was with the right person, my sex drive would go through the roof! I'm a Virgo girl who sometimes acts like a Scorpio!