Scorpio boyfriend left me for his Aquarius ex!

I'm a Capricorn woman & I was recently dating & in a relationship with a Scorpio man for about 4 months. Everything was GREAT between us being that we're very compatible. The sex was amazing, the communication was outstanding (never had that kind of communication with anyone else), we had so much in common, shared the same interests & values. Everything was literally perfect. It was too good to be true. Seemed as if we were made for one another, honestly. But I did notice one thing . . . He has a 6 year old daughter that I never met. & it started to worry me because he had her every weekend but he was off limits when he was with her, so of course my mind began to wander. Well he had recently broke up with his AQUARIAN ex which he was with for 2 years, not to mention things ended really bad between them, & she also isn't the mother of his child. The daughter came from a previous relationship. But him & his recent ex, well, They also aren't very compatible (I'm really into the Zodiac) lol but anyway. They basically broke up because he had sex with her cousin BEFORE they even got together. After they got together, he found out they were cousins & he didn't have the guts to tell her that they had history before they even became a thing. Nonetheless, she found out & the relationship went downhill from there. Me & him met at work about a month after their breakup & the attraction between us was too much to ignore, so we gave it a shot. Well last week, he came to me crying telling me he was confused about what he wanted. Apparently his ex went to his house crying after she found out about me . . . Typical right. Well that stirred up some feelings with him. He realized he wasn't over her. So he basically told me he wants to work things out with her, or at least TRY to see if anything is fixable, but he was afraid of losing me. He cried & cried & told me he didn't wanna hurt me, but he also wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't at least try to see if he could fix things with her. Since he was the reason they broke up, he felt like he owed her the chance to fix things. I guess it's kinda like closure for him. Of course I was upset & cried a couple nights but I decided to just cut communication between us but it's KILLING ME SOFTLY. I miss him so much & it doesn't make it any better that he's my supervisor & I'm forced to see him 4 days out the week.

I stopped replying to his text on Saturday & it is now Tuesday. Is he thinking about me? Scorpio men! Any true advice on this? Will he try to come back? Is he hurting as much as I am? I need answers lol

I know. I swear I've gone over this with myself about a hundred times. I know I deserve better. I know I didn't do anything wrong. I know none of it is my fault. I know how to keep my game face on & my head held high . . Me being a Capricorn, I'm also very stubborn & good at turning a cold shoulder towards anyone that hurts me. I hold lifetime grudges. The problem here is . . . That I love way too hard & way too deep, which is why it's killing me. I still feel like there's hope & that's what's Fucking me up right now. I also believe in second chances, especially when there was no problems between us until this shit happened. I honestly feel like he's just confused. Why else would he come to me CRYING? I believe there's good in people, one small mistake shouldn't dictate how you view someone. I don't know, giving people second chances is kind of a weakness for me. BEST BELIEVE I know my self worth & I respect myself more than anything . . . I just have a really good heart when I grow to love someone.

i'd change job asap. and if it's a bad move for your career, i'd ask him to change his job if possible as the last favor since he called it quits so you can move on. no contact is what you need.

giving 2nd chance? sorry but you are not thinking straight. his heart made the decision. you giving chances do not change the fact that he holds the power of YES/NO not you. cut him off for your own sanity.

and he is not confused. he made the choice.

"Since he was the reason they broke up, he felt like he owed her the chance to fix things. I guess it's kinda like closure for him." --> you are finding excuses for his choice. accept the hurtful fact that that he loves her more and quit him immediately.

That sucks. At least he told you what was up. He coulda been selfish.and played you both.

Dont put your life on hold.

I don't know, it just hurts a lot, you know? I can't stop thinking about the whole situation. & the fact that he left such a perfect relationship for one that was already broken kills me even more. We were both going through the same thing, we were both getting over our exes. Only difference is, I had the STRENGTH to tell my ex NO, I was happy with who I was . . . Him on the other hand, he didn't.

It's a real fucked up feeling. I've lost 8 lbs since the whole thing went down. I haven't been able to sleep, let alone eat. I can honestly say, this has been the hardest breakup for me because of how well we connected. He gave me & showed me much more in 4 months than my ex ever did in 2 years. So I think that's the reason why I'm having such a hard time accepting his choice ”

Change jobs and cut off contact, if not it will be way too hard to move on.

Posted by BellaJay
It's a real fucked up feeling. I've lost 8 lbs since the whole thing went down. I haven't been able to sleep, let alone eat. I can honestly say, this has been the hardest breakup for me because of how well we connected. He gave me & showed me much more in 4 months than my ex ever did in 2 years. So I think that's the reason why I'm having such a hard time accepting his choice ”

Yes. This is it right here. You have one man that made you feel better than your ex did in a few months compared to 2 years.

Guess what. There's someone out there waiting for you to stop feeling like you deserve mediocre and show you continuously what a man is supposed to do with you.

Don't settle at least he told you. He cried because he knew this would probably happen all along and wanted to make you feel like he really cared about you. But he didn't otherwise he'd be with you not her.

He's an asshole dear

Posted by BellaJay
It's a real fucked up feeling. I've lost 8 lbs since the whole thing went down. I haven't been able to sleep, let alone eat. I can honestly say, this has been the hardest breakup for me because of how well we connected. He gave me & showed me much more in 4 months than my ex ever did in 2 years. So I think that's the reason why I'm having such a hard time accepting his choice ”

If you lost weight and weren't able to sleep and eat after being with someone for only 4 months you need to self reflect and figure out quite a few things within your self.

That's really quick to become dependant on another for love or happiness from the opposite sex.

Make no mistake what he did shows you clearly how he feels about you right now. He thinks of you as the expendable one. If you were to take him back he would break your heart again. Ultimately he is showing you that he can live without you. People like how he sounds are usually very weak and confused. He sounds like he doesn't know what he wants so his decisions are Innately selfish everytime. If he wasn't ready to move on he shouldn't have. I think he's using this woman as a scapegoat. He clearly feels the same way she does at the moment anyway. You're better off without someone like that in your life. It might hurt now but it won't forever. Move on, do better, find someone nicer. It's his loss. But have some self respect don't take him back. I've been in a similar situation with a Scorpio female. And it was always the same sorry. History repeats itself.

Posted by Flo
Are you sure it's a 6yr old daughter and not son?

That's the age of my Scorpio ex child who has just recently asked me back.

No it's a girl. I've seen pictures of her

Posted by happyface1

Posted by BellaJay
It's a real fucked up feeling. I've lost 8 lbs since the whole thing went down. I haven't been able to sleep, let alone eat. I can honestly say, this has been the hardest breakup for me because of how well we connected. He gave me & showed me much more in 4 months than my ex ever did in 2 years. So I think that's the reason why I'm having such a hard time accepting his choice ”

If you lost weight and weren't able to sleep and eat after being with someone for only 4 months you need to self reflect and figure out quite a few things within your self.

That's really quick to become dependant on another for love or happiness from the opposite sex.

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& I completely agree! But you don't understand the connection. It was on a whole other level. In 4 months he treated me better & showed me much more respect & admiration than ANY of my exes did over a course of YEARS.

Posted by Arielle83
He left you for his ex which is his cousin?

Lmfao no sweetheart. He fucked his ex girlfriend's cousin before they even got together. He found out LATER that they were cousins but this was after they were already living together. His ex girlfriend, reached out to him when she found out about me & he left me for her. He left me for his ex, whose cousin he had sex with a few years back. I really don't understand why she even wants him back after knowing he had sex with her cousin 🙄

Posted by Arielle83
Dude GTFO 4 months is nothing compared to the path of women he's left fucjed in the head.

It's something when you're dealing with a female that doesn't let people in her heart so easy. I don't even give guys the time of day, yet I gave him a chance because of the automatic & obvious connection.

Yeah, getting into something new so soon after a 2 year relationship would be considered a rebound IMO. Sorry.

Take the lesson& jot it down in your pocket book then move on. Never date someone from work. Dont date someone fresh out of a relationship unless all youre looking for is a hookup.

Just be thankful that he showed himself at 4 months and not when you were more into your feelings. Start focusing on whats important here, YOURSELF, and little by little you will move on. The whole job changing thing is a bit much, shit happens doesnt mean you have to hide away from the ugly world, that wont fix the truth of the matter, learn to cope. If you can get a better position elsewhere though then do so.

Posted by thinktoomuch
Just doing a bit of cultural studies here, so by any chance, do you OP and your ex and his ex and his exs cousin and all of you, come from a black community?

Lmao I'm Puerto Rican. His ex is Mexican & Puerto Rican. He's black. I don't know about his ex's cousin.

Posted by Peanutbutter
Yeah, getting into something new so soon after a 2 year relationship would be considered a rebound IMO. Sorry.

Take the lesson& jot it down in your pocket book then move on. Never date someone from work. Dont date someone fresh out of a relationship unless all youre looking for is a hookup.

Not necessarily, because I was fresh out of a 2 year relationship too. We were both literally in the same predicament. We were both in 2 year relationships that ended in November-December. The only difference is, when my ex hit me up asking to work things out, I fought the temptation & said NO because I was happy where I was at. I refused to leave my relationship being that it was going so good, to go back to something that was already broken. Him on the other hand though . . . He didn't. He let the temptation sink in, & he went for it. That shit baffles me everytime I think about it. I was looking to move forward, not go back down the same road. It had nothing to do with just a hookup. If anything, he was the one that pressured it to become more of a SERIOUS relationship rather than just dating. I was the one holding back with my guard fiercely high. He literally fought to break that wall down. I feel like, ain't no man gonna try that hard if he isn't serious about it. That's why I'm so confused.

Posted by happyface1

Posted by BellaJay
It's a real fucked up feeling. I've lost 8 lbs since the whole thing went down. I haven't been able to sleep, let alone eat. I can honestly say, this has been the hardest breakup for me because of how well we connected. He gave me & showed me much more in 4 months than my ex ever did in 2 years. So I think that's the reason why I'm having such a hard time accepting his choice ”

If you lost weight and weren't able to sleep and eat after being with someone for only 4 months you need to self reflect and figure out quite a few things within your self.

That's really quick to become dependant on another for love or happiness from the opposite sex.

click to expand

This.

Posted by BellaJay

Posted by happyface1

Posted by BellaJay
It's a real fucked up feeling. I've lost 8 lbs since the whole thing went down. I haven't been able to sleep, let alone eat. I can honestly say, this has been the hardest breakup for me because of how well we connected. He gave me & showed me much more in 4 months than my ex ever did in 2 years. So I think that's the reason why I'm having such a hard time accepting his choice ”

If you lost weight and weren't able to sleep and eat after being with someone for only 4 months you need to self reflect and figure out quite a few things within your self.

That's really quick to become dependant on another for love or happiness from the opposite sex.

& I completely agree! But you don't understand the connection. It was on a whole other level. In 4 months he treated me better & showed me much more respect & admiration than ANY of my exes did over a course of YEARS.

click to expand

That reflects the level of standard you were willing to put up with for years, not some deep connection. He doesn't get brownie points for being a decent human being and showing a person *filling the blank with whatever kindness he offered you*. When you're in a relationship should you not be treated well? So how does that make him special or get translated to mean you had a special connection when someone actually treats you as you deserve to be treated? Even the idea "at least he told you"... okay so being a jerk and just disappearing in the standard we expect from the people we meet? Meh. You met someone, it didn't work out because it was not the right man or moment for you.

I'd stop romanticizing what he did and see it for what it was. You found someone---for however brief---that showed you there are people out that can be decent, respectful and kind to you because you deserve that. Rather than dwell on what he did, use that as an example of the standard you will accept going forward and the signs you need to look out for to avoid or minimize future issues.

Posted by thinktoomuch
...by any chance, do you OP and your ex and his ex and his exs cousin and all of you, come from a black community?

Posted by thinktoomuch
... I just find, that there are very different patterns for cheating, with who, being in relationships and how and havig babies and when for different cultures. And those cultures are mostly easiest to define based on color (but ofcours color also describes background and environment).

With stories with people of color, there is always a cousin?! Wth?! And somehow more cheating and more kids but also more relationships; always an ex, and another ex, and the feelings seem to be expressed more. ....

Posted by thinktoomuch
Just doing a bit of cultural studies here

click to expand

Oh, that's what this ignorant drivel was suppose to be? Got it.

😆 I like how you changed it to "people of color" vs black when the OPs answer didn't confirm your "cultural study".

Posted by FrostedElly
If your good at turning the cold shoulder than I can understand how this is hard for you. Everyone has humbling experiences in dating.

But there's no mistake that took place and no one is asking for a second chance. He's gone. Him being with someone else is not a reflection on you or your time together. Take the positive for what it was and the negative as a lesson learned and go live.

I'm with Elly on this. According to you, dear OP, neither the Scorpio or his Aqua Ex cheated or otherwise had something horrible happen between them. It sounds like he kept quiet about something he shouldn't have (Aqua can forgive a previous relationship that's out of the norm, but not the hiding, we are on that shit like fucking flies), and it caused a shit ton of upheaval. That's enough for an Aqua Ex to need some space. However, I don't see where the relationship went critical mass, just a huge misunderstanding, so I can understand how the Scorp going back to his ex (They have a hard time letting go in the first place) isn't a reflection on your relationship, it's a reflection of his previous investment in a relationship that is salvageable.

At the same, give him some credit for sacking up and telling you, instead of keeping you on the side. Not only did he show you that men can be providers of relationship needs, and indeed show you WHAT to look for in a man, but he was very aware of the impact his decision would have on you and demonstrated that empathy to you.

Hell yes, it sucks. Getting dumped, especially when things are going to well, and all you can think about is that other person going off to be happy ever after, it blows chunks. But there are so many, many fish out there Cappy. And you know from experience that there are fishes that can give you what you need, so strap that pole on, get a bucket of bait and enjoy the fishing.

Posted by BellaJay
I don't know, it just hurts a lot, you know? I can't stop thinking about the whole situation. & the fact that he left such a perfect relationship for one that was already broken kills me even more. We were both going through the same thing, we were both getting over our exes. Only difference is, I had the STRENGTH to tell my ex NO, I was happy with who I was . . . Him on the other hand, he didn't.

You're cardinal and he's fixed, it's a 'fixed' sign thing...you wouldn't understand it.

They share a history.

The break up wasn't caused by infidelity, abuse, dishonesty, or a trial separation.

It was caused by her overreaction to something that was trivial.

His love for her wasn't going to die off because of this.

My ex of 3 years was a Scorpio, and they rarely get over past loves.

This is a BAD DUDE.
Loyalty is number one. He can't grasp this. As a woman, you will be hurting. You will be riding a roller coaster of emotions. You will be wanting to go his way. DO NOT. RESIST. KNOW that this will pass as it is chemical. DIG YOUR HEELS IN and suffer in silence. It will pass and you will be thankful once it has. Also know, he will likely be coming your way in the future. Be ready, and do NOT give in. This is what a woman who respects herself will do.

It's okay to hate him or love him or whatever keeps you from running his way, but in time, forgive him. This will release his power over you.
I went through something quasi similar with a CAP but I was way too stubborn to let him drag me through the mud. He will never know the tears I cried over him and now he's the one crying. I was SO THANKFUL that I didn't show my emotion or that he hurt me. That I took it with class. And it's funny how the tables turn when you do that...but it doesn't even matter anymore bc now i'm happy.