Scorpio, family and affairs

During this long weekend I had a chance to talk to my long term friend (Gemini) and I found out his wife (Scorpio) had an affair for over a year, which accidentally came out now. She had no intention to leave her husband (my friend) and their kids (2 lovely girls - 3 and 7), saying she loves her family and wants to stay with them despite not being happy (what she clearly admitted). As you can imagine, not easy situation for my friend, who was basically left with a decision of accepting her back (mostly for kids sake) or letting her go (in that case she wants to take kids with her).

This scenario being very sad, made me think. How do you Scorpios deal with this kind of situations? Do you really stay in the relationship despite being unhappy to keep family together by all costs (and look around at the same time)? Or you just try to move on and save what possible?

I always say on these boards. Never to deal with a Scorpio who's not totally in love with you. As in completely nuts about you. I think it's only in that setting where you'll get a fair/decent treatment from a Scorpio. In any other setting you'll most likely be a victim of circumstance. Scorpios are mostly self driven, so they're mostly driven by what's best for them and when in love with you, your well being is what's best for them. So you will get that VIP treatment, you may even get more than, you think you deserve. In any other settings, your personal well being won't drive them, so you can just wish that whatever they choose to do, is good for you as well. I think your friend's wife is doing what's best for her and those she loves(hopefully the kids are involved in that). It's up to him to know what he wants to do. She doesn't have his best interest at heart for sure.

I personally don't see myself staying in a relationship for kids. I think kids mostly need the truth and honesty to grow properly and I'll provide that. There is only one person that will keep me in a relationship and it's the person I'm in a relationship with.

Posted by emeraldgem
So, the gemini didn't cheat.....? LOL! yay.....ya HEAR THAT scorps—?

Hahahahahhahah get 'em Emmy! 🙂

Posted by Rays Heart
I always say on these boards. Never to deal with a Scorpio who's not totally in love with you. As in completely nuts about you. I think it's only in that setting where you'll get a fair/decent treatment from a Scorpio. In any other setting you'll most likely be a victim of circumstance. Scorpios are mostly self driven, so they're mostly driven by what's best for them and when in love with you, your well being is what's best for them. So you will get that VIP treatment, you may even get more than, you think you deserve. In any other settings, your personal well being won't drive them, so you can just wish that whatever they choose to do, is good for you as well. I think your friend's wife is doing what's best for her and those she loves(hopefully the kids are involved in that). It's up to him to know what he wants to do. She doesn't have his best interest at heart for sure.

I personally don't see myself staying in a relationship for kids. I think kids mostly need the truth and honesty to grow properly and I'll provide that. There is only one person that will keep me in a relationship and it's the person I'm in a relationship with.

I found your post quiet interesting. I can see this about Scorpios.

PD

Ray's Heart is spot on. Very spot on. Scorps are black and white. We draw lines and stick to one side or another. We either love someone with burning passion or we... don't.

I can almost assure you that the relationship your friend is in will only get worse in time. Scorpios will grow resentful toward someone they view as holding them back from being happy. We tend to be quite selfish 😢

Soooooooo the burning question dear scorpios .......what deems someone worthy of your love and devotion—?

As for the original post, I totally agree with you Gingerscorp. Not because she is a Scorpio ....but anyone regardless of zodiac that stays together with the wrong person for the wrong reasons will end in disaster. One could not help being resentful of anyone holding them back from happiness. I really believe there is a reason and a season for all relations. It appears your friends season is over. It is hard to make that transition especially when one has so much guilt i.e. the affair, the kids, failing in a relationship. I can totally relate when I divorced over eight years ago. It was hard to make that break. Change is scary .....even if it is necessary. I never had the affair but I felt like I failed myself, my ex-hub, and my kids.

I agree with Ray completely that honesty is the best policy for children. Kids are not stupid they can sense when things are off with mom and dad. All this does is cause more anxiety with the kids.

Best of luck to your friend.

PD

"Soooooooo the burning question dear scorpios .......what deems someone worthy of your love and devotion—?"

Good Question PD. In all honesty that seems to be the same question that mystifies us as well as outsiders looking in. Sometimes it's just "there". It just "happens". Honesty is a huge deal. Even if it's an ugly truth we will take that over a pretty lie. That one is huge for me anyway. My Aries guy is FAR from perfect or what others might consider a dream guy. He's got alot of flaws but he openly admits to them (and puts his own personal charming spin to them). If he's wrong he'll come clean, if he's right he'll rub it in my face 😛 But he NEVER EVER acts like someone he's not. He makes no apologies about being the person he is and THAT was the most attractive thing about him even he's not always so dreamy. 🙂 He's very raw but never fake.

Oh yeah and you have the worship the ground we walk on. That always helps 😛 J/k .......sorta. LOL

My perception of Scorpios is they want someone they feel comfortable trusting the vulnerabilities they hold; that is why truth and no fakeness is essential. I gather that Scorpios allow few into their core that is why their secretive behavior happens. They will not allow just anyone to figure them out because that would mean being vulnerable and weak so to speak; and they are not just about to lay all their precious emotions on the table ....especially if that person is not real....they could get hurt. A scorpio would never allow this to happen if they can help it. That is why they are so calucated in realtions. They investigate and do their homeowrk on figuring out what that object of desire is all about. It is also important that someone can feel the emotional depths ...which often can be a bit much for some. This euphoric for a scorpio when they can combine trust, emotional deepness and closeness, and sexual intimacy to experience this with. When they can trust like this ....they are in control of not just that person ....but their own security in love.

I also gather when a Scorpio is not on the same emotional level with someone .....they will loose interest and move away.

The more and more I think about scorpios .....you all are not as complex as some think. 😉

PD

It's not fair. You're a Pisces so you know somewhat where we're coming from 🙂

You are right in some ways. The whole not allowing everyone in is a defensive thing. Yes, in personal relationships a liar is dangerous to our emotions but it's also about pride too. We don't like to be wrong. I personally would like to think once I got someone pegged it's pretty much right on the money. I'm quick to judge and I'm rarely wrong but I *do* get it wrong sometimes and I'll fess up when I am.
See... I find fakes and liars to be pitiful. Really... why lie? We all have our faults and nobody is perfect so why 'act" otherwise? I pity liars and pity is not an emotion I'm comfortable with. It's "weak" and "soft". I don't like feeling sorry for people. When someone lies I think "Aw... how bad can the truth be that they'd resort to this pitiful state?" SO I'll either distance myself from that person because I feel so odd and uncomfortable for feeling sorry for them or it turns to anger (anger is my crutch) because I'm ok with dealing with anger. Anger in a relationships....not good. It IS complex in some ways. Sometimes I don't get me. But that's me personally. I feel Scorps in gerneral keep the cards close to their chest not to be mysterious but to keep control of the game BECAUSE we are control freaks and because .. yes... we fear what will happen if we aren't in control.
I don't believe I will ever fully trust someone with ALL of me. There is no one person that knows all of me. I'm ok with that. Nobody knows exactly where I'm coming from nor do they understand me completely. So they don't need to know all of me. 😉

Oh and back to the OP... the Scorp has taken the emotional "dive" of cheating once. Next time won't be nearly as hard. If she is unhappy there will or already is a next time.

The scorp I know is a complete faker in most areas of his life and he admits it. He will put on a happy face for all to spare their feelings while he wallows away in his own personal hell. He has said their happiness in turn makes him happy.
What's this all about??
Is it a matter of keeping their cards close to their chests like Ginger stated?

"Soooooooo the burning question dear scorpios .......what deems someone worthy of your love and devotion—?"

I think for the most past Scorpios need to be moved.

"the Scorp has taken the emotional "dive" of cheating once. Next time won't be nearly as hard."

True, well said.

No i would never stay in a loveless marriage/relationship for the sake of anyone

Posted by Rays Heart
I always say on these boards. Never to deal with a Scorpio who's not totally in love with you. As in completely nuts about you.

This made me think about my previous post (kind of current topic, sorry). I think that was the issue which was missing in my relationship. The thing which made it dissolve - there was mutual attraction, respect, intellectual connection but lack of this total unreasonable love. From his side, just to be clear. Now I can see that. Thank you for this statement. I was thinking about it a lot, I kind of feel it but couldn't verbalize what was missing. It hurts obviously but I think it's very true. I stopped the contact with him. I think I need at least few months of break to put myself together. Then we can go back to friendship. If it was real, it will last. Just need some time for my own thoughts and myself.

Posted by Rays Heart

I personally don't see myself staying in a relationship for kids. I think kids mostly need the truth and honesty to grow properly and I'll provide that. There is only one person that will keep me in a relationship and it's the person I'm in a relationship with.

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Well said.

Posted by Pisces_Dream


Best of luck to your friend.

PD

Thank you

Posted by Gingerscorp


The whole not allowing everyone in is a defensive thing. Yes, in personal relationships a liar is dangerous to our emotions but it's also about pride too.

From your post seems like it's mostly about trust for you. From my personal experience with Scorpios, trust is EXTREMLY important however at the end (or the beginning I should say), it's about what Rays Heart mentioned: you guys need to be moved in some way. Even so called "perfect match" person for you with a lot of devotion and room for your pride and control will not be enough, if you are not deeply moved. And only you know what moves you........

Posted by Rays Heart
"Soooooooo the burning question dear scorpios .......what deems someone worthy of your love and devotion—?"

I think for the most past Scorpios need to be moved.

Moved .......as showing up with a 18 wheeler in front of your house—? 😛 Please explain ...what does being moved mean?

Gracias, por favor. 🙂

PD

Posted by scorpascendant

Posted by Pisces_Dream


Best of luck to your friend.

PD

Thank you

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Your welcome!!

PD

"The scorp I know is a complete faker in most areas of his life and he admits it. He will put on a happy face for all to spare their feelings while he wallows away in his own personal hell. He has said their happiness in turn makes him happy.
What's this all about??
Is it a matter of keeping their cards close to their chests like Ginger stated?"

No matter what sign anyone unhappy or unsatisified with their life enough to lie about it or who they are is just sad and insecure. But it's not surprising to see this in a Scorpio due to the whole huge ego/pride/secretive thing 😉 It doesn't make it anymore pitiful though.

Moved? Oh yeah I agree with this. It's just a hard thing to explain. Ray's Heart is usually good at explaining the unexplainable. So I'll let him try. He's right on the money ....yet again.

Thanks Eden3 for the explanation. I have heard of the expression i.e. The movie or play really moved me....to me that means make me really think, feel, or really impacts me. I was just trying to understand what exactly moves a scorpio because it is such a general statement and it can mean so many different things.

Thank you!

PD

"This made me think about my previous post (kind of current topic, sorry). I think that was the issue which was missing in my relationship. The thing which made it dissolve - there was mutual attraction, respect, intellectual connection but lack of this total unreasonable love. From his side, just to be clear. Now I can see that."

Yes I also think you'd be more included in his future plans if he was deeply in love but since it's new it could be that he's being observant. He could be into you but just observing your behavior in this situation. All in attempt to see if he's into the right person.

Oh PD and Ginger ... I gave my version of this on an other thread.

lol@18 Wheeler !