lovelymoongirl
@lovelymoongirl
16 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 26 · Topics: 3
Scorpio guys are you cruel to be kind—
I didn't think it was a big deal. to me it's like changing your clothes for work or school or a club. I would not wear the same thing I'd wear to a club to work. I really didn't think it was such a big problem. I just don't understand if he confesses all this and I offer to change why did he back off?
that's all.
that's all.
WTF?
Why in the hell would you change something that is uniquely you to please another person? This is way beyond me. This also can be typical scorp behavior for some. They don't hide it when they don't like something about you and it can come out in cruel ways. For you to just lay down and take it is exactly the kind of control they are looking for.
"I just don't understand if he confesses all this and I offer to change why did he back off?"
Hello— Control...that's what he's doing. He wants to see how far he can manipulate you into becoming what he wants. Scorps like strong women, not weak ones that would change themselves in an instant to please others.
I'm sorry, but this is sad. Please do not fall into this trap as that's all it is.
Sorry to be harsh, but seriously...be strong and he will respect that more.
BTW...what sign are you?
Why in the hell would you change something that is uniquely you to please another person? This is way beyond me. This also can be typical scorp behavior for some. They don't hide it when they don't like something about you and it can come out in cruel ways. For you to just lay down and take it is exactly the kind of control they are looking for.
"I just don't understand if he confesses all this and I offer to change why did he back off?"
Hello— Control...that's what he's doing. He wants to see how far he can manipulate you into becoming what he wants. Scorps like strong women, not weak ones that would change themselves in an instant to please others.
I'm sorry, but this is sad. Please do not fall into this trap as that's all it is.
Sorry to be harsh, but seriously...be strong and he will respect that more.
BTW...what sign are you?
I understand what you are saying .... so long as you can only see one side of this, you wont be able to hear what these people are trying to tell you. They are just assuming that you "get it" and telling you what to do, instead of explaining to you.
You are right, there is nothing wrong with changing for a person you love. If I don't like what my husband plans on wearing to an event, I mostly certainly will tell him so, and he will change his clothes, and he changes them because I want him to and for no other reason. So, this is what you are seeing here .... it is a consideration where in a relationship, two people don't have a problem with compromising theirselves for the sake of the other to be happy.
This makes perfect sense to me ... and my husband and I compromise ourselves to each other on a constant basis.
However, there is another side to this .. and it's this side that the above posters are referring to, in which they aren't explaining, rather just barking orders at you ... and so you cannot understand why it's wrong to change yourself for this man. You have even asked a couple times .... why has he distanced himself now that you've agreed to change for him, because you thought this is what he wanted.
Let me try to explain this to you .... this man didn't want you to change, your hair, your clothes, whatever it was he said embarrassed him .. his interest isn't your hair being different/prettier, or your clothes being more stylish ... his interest is in seeing if you will jump to his demands if he snaps his fingers at you. Some people are just like that, they want the control over another, I guess to feel better.
Your clothes, and hair (and whatever else) is probably perfectly fine the way it is ... afterall, he was attracted to you in the very beginning to even like you in the first place to start dating you with the way your hair and clothes look, right? So, the way you look is perfectly fine to him. However, he has sensed somewhere in you .. that you will bend yourself to his wishes, without question, and he is exercising his control over you.
He knows you will be his puppet, and so he will pull on your strings.
If he were doing this for the sake of happiness for the two of you, then I would see no problems with you changing a part of yourself for him .. but, for the fact that he distanced himself from you the moment you agreed to cater to his wishes, is an indication that he just wants power over you.
You are right, there is nothing wrong with changing for a person you love. If I don't like what my husband plans on wearing to an event, I mostly certainly will tell him so, and he will change his clothes, and he changes them because I want him to and for no other reason. So, this is what you are seeing here .... it is a consideration where in a relationship, two people don't have a problem with compromising theirselves for the sake of the other to be happy.
This makes perfect sense to me ... and my husband and I compromise ourselves to each other on a constant basis.
However, there is another side to this .. and it's this side that the above posters are referring to, in which they aren't explaining, rather just barking orders at you ... and so you cannot understand why it's wrong to change yourself for this man. You have even asked a couple times .... why has he distanced himself now that you've agreed to change for him, because you thought this is what he wanted.
Let me try to explain this to you .... this man didn't want you to change, your hair, your clothes, whatever it was he said embarrassed him .. his interest isn't your hair being different/prettier, or your clothes being more stylish ... his interest is in seeing if you will jump to his demands if he snaps his fingers at you. Some people are just like that, they want the control over another, I guess to feel better.
Your clothes, and hair (and whatever else) is probably perfectly fine the way it is ... afterall, he was attracted to you in the very beginning to even like you in the first place to start dating you with the way your hair and clothes look, right? So, the way you look is perfectly fine to him. However, he has sensed somewhere in you .. that you will bend yourself to his wishes, without question, and he is exercising his control over you.
He knows you will be his puppet, and so he will pull on your strings.
If he were doing this for the sake of happiness for the two of you, then I would see no problems with you changing a part of yourself for him .. but, for the fact that he distanced himself from you the moment you agreed to cater to his wishes, is an indication that he just wants power over you.
have to say i'm agreeing with P-Angel here. maybe, now he thinks you're a gold digger (just assuming, maybe wrongfully so, he has more money or more mature then you are) because those girls agree to anything a man says or does just to "get him".
i understand that some things may not be so important for you to change for him or someone else but it's not how he understood it. it's all about perception of both individuals here.
i understand that some things may not be so important for you to change for him or someone else but it's not how he understood it. it's all about perception of both individuals here.
What a prick! Tell him to go to hell
Hmmm...You said you feel intimidated by his social circle and therefore what he represents..why would you then continue to want to be with a person like that? You are waaaay out of your comfort zone here..Superficial wanker or not, he's told you to your face...and thats what he'll always do..he sounds like a bully actually. You are waaaay too weak for him.
But hey I am quite particular in the way a person dresses as well...Call me shallow all you like..but a person has to carry themselves well...However if I didn't like your dress sense, I wouldn't have approached you in the first place...
But hey I am quite particular in the way a person dresses as well...Call me shallow all you like..but a person has to carry themselves well...However if I didn't like your dress sense, I wouldn't have approached you in the first place...
Oh I think she's cancer
lovly moon girl,
Seriously hun.....dump the stupid fuck. If a man were to say that to me I'd straight up spit in his face.
Wake up girl. He's garbage.
Seriously hun.....dump the stupid fuck. If a man were to say that to me I'd straight up spit in his face.
Wake up girl. He's garbage.
I am a Cancer. From the last time I have posted he has been calling me, but is avoiding me. He will ask me out when he knows I am busy. I think it's time for another confrontation. That's what got us here in the first place. It seems that whenever I push him for a tough uncomfortable answer he give it to me and then runs away. Like he is waiting for me to throw rocks at him and he wants to avoid getting him. He also keeps asking me if I'm mad at him.
If he did drugs (which he does not) and I said to him "I like you but you have to stop using drugs if you want to continue seeing me" is that not the same?
It's strange but I sense guilt in his voice. When he talks to me now it's with so much caution and I don't like it. I told him I went shopping last night and he said nothing. NOTHING! He just changed the subject. When I asked he if he wanted to see what I got all he said was "I'm so sorry. How come your not mad?" I used the drug analogoly above. all he said was that he had to go. I don't get it.
If he did drugs (which he does not) and I said to him "I like you but you have to stop using drugs if you want to continue seeing me" is that not the same?
It's strange but I sense guilt in his voice. When he talks to me now it's with so much caution and I don't like it. I told him I went shopping last night and he said nothing. NOTHING! He just changed the subject. When I asked he if he wanted to see what I got all he said was "I'm so sorry. How come your not mad?" I used the drug analogoly above. all he said was that he had to go. I don't get it.
I really like him. I know that when you love somebody it should be always. Not because of their clothing. I know this. The way he makes me feel when i'm with him makes me so happy. This clothing and hair thing is really no big deal. I always wear pony tails. He wants my hair down because its long and he likes that. I also wear a lot of baggy clothing and he want me to wear more fitted things. I am a bit on the tom boy side. But it's what i'm used to is all. I really don't mind dressing up for him.
I want this fixed.
help please!
I want this fixed.
help please!
I don't know scorp rising. I called him after I posted and asked him WTF was up. He was avoiding me and then I cornerned him. He said "I told you, you go out and look like shit. Can't you just figure it out without me having to say it? I said nothing. He then said "look I know its superficial and pathetic on my part. If you were sick or just had surgery I would understand but that's not the case" he then said very calmly "whoever said it's whats on the inside that counts never understood that the inside is just as important as the outside. Nobody wants a stupid supermodel and nobody wants an intelligent troll" I still said nothing. Then he told me "your goodlooking, have a great body and your so smart, I love talking to you, I love being with you, just stop looking like a train wreck please"
I don't think I look like a train wreck. Is this constructive critisisim? Is this the bluntness Scorpio's are know for? I'm numb. I don't know what to feel happy, mad or sad because he was honest.
I don't think I look like a train wreck. Is this constructive critisisim? Is this the bluntness Scorpio's are know for? I'm numb. I don't know what to feel happy, mad or sad because he was honest.
Oh my god girl seriously. The guy's a lunatic. Get over it and dump his ass. Just thinking about him is a waste of your brain.
Oh god a Cancer. Forget it. If he hits her......She will still think he's her soul mate.
Whatever. You'll learn as you get older kid.
Whatever. You'll learn as you get older kid.
i am saying this in your best interest. you need to drop this one like a bad habit. don't change yourself for him because that will show him he doesn't need to respect you and the controlling behavior will continue.
"I told him I went shopping last night and he said nothing. NOTHING! He just changed the subject. When I asked he if he wanted to see what I got all he said was "I'm so sorry. How come your not mad?"
You put nothing in caps .. I would assume that this means you are astounded .. SHOCKED .. that he isn't interested in your shopping spree.
That makes you sound about 16, with no clue whatsoever that a guy is male.
Cancer women fight constantly in here, trying to tell people they aren't like this .... then you post this shit, describing it to a tee ... with no awareness that it's fucked up.
You put nothing in caps .. I would assume that this means you are astounded .. SHOCKED .. that he isn't interested in your shopping spree.
That makes you sound about 16, with no clue whatsoever that a guy is male.
Cancer women fight constantly in here, trying to tell people they aren't like this .... then you post this shit, describing it to a tee ... with no awareness that it's fucked up.
wow snow child, that was a pretty acurate description of scorpios mind, i notice that too in many scorpios
shell never be what he wants, simply because what he wants isnt her
hes projecting a image that she cant be, cos its not her personality
and to push her to be something else, instead of her just naturally being, makes him annoyed, but ive seen so many cancer girls doing anything the guy wants, i think they have this thing they find romantic to do anything the man wants, and than crying cos they were dumped
unfortunally this is a big turn off for many men, no matter what sign they are, bc it makes anyone less interesting, if she had confronted him, and telling who he was maybe she could have changed him, now hes even more sure of his initial idea of her, hes relating the clothes to her temper
u said ''Scorpios are very fixed on certain things, and they can be obsessed with ecven the smallest things that meny of us think is shallow or don't understand.''
im sorry but if it was any other sign that would be considered very shallow
simply because IT IS!
hes the weak one imo
cos he cant stand for himself
he gotta use other people as stairs of what he wants to be
if he was a strong person who have his values and taste, he would accept her choices or simply turn down the things and people he decided its not up to him
but he feels embaressed when hes w his friends
this is pretty ridiculous, if hes not in high school, theres no excuse for him
and cancer girl, please start to think why dont u like urself, cos theres nothing wrong accepting some advice for hair and clothing, but to let the guy talk to u like that shows everybody how u feel about urself
dont forget ur style ur hair ur clothes ur body are made of u, of who u are, its ur choices
if the next guy ask u to change ur hair to green, would u cos u simply dont mind ?
ull find the love u want all inside u, and than ull have any guy u want
shell never be what he wants, simply because what he wants isnt her
hes projecting a image that she cant be, cos its not her personality
and to push her to be something else, instead of her just naturally being, makes him annoyed, but ive seen so many cancer girls doing anything the guy wants, i think they have this thing they find romantic to do anything the man wants, and than crying cos they were dumped
unfortunally this is a big turn off for many men, no matter what sign they are, bc it makes anyone less interesting, if she had confronted him, and telling who he was maybe she could have changed him, now hes even more sure of his initial idea of her, hes relating the clothes to her temper
u said ''Scorpios are very fixed on certain things, and they can be obsessed with ecven the smallest things that meny of us think is shallow or don't understand.''
im sorry but if it was any other sign that would be considered very shallow
simply because IT IS!
hes the weak one imo
cos he cant stand for himself
he gotta use other people as stairs of what he wants to be
if he was a strong person who have his values and taste, he would accept her choices or simply turn down the things and people he decided its not up to him
but he feels embaressed when hes w his friends
this is pretty ridiculous, if hes not in high school, theres no excuse for him
and cancer girl, please start to think why dont u like urself, cos theres nothing wrong accepting some advice for hair and clothing, but to let the guy talk to u like that shows everybody how u feel about urself
dont forget ur style ur hair ur clothes ur body are made of u, of who u are, its ur choices
if the next guy ask u to change ur hair to green, would u cos u simply dont mind ?
ull find the love u want all inside u, and than ull have any guy u want
The saddest part of this is that she doesn't want to hear that she deserves better .... she wants advice on how to effectively get him to respect her for catering to his biddings.
How is a person suppose to aid one like this?
How is a person suppose to aid one like this?
"He expects someone more sassy who can tell him off while compromising. "
Yeah he could get what he wants as long as he is spending his money to do it. Plain and simple.
Yeah he could get what he wants as long as he is spending his money to do it. Plain and simple.
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It feels all wrong between us now. I don't know why he is distancing himself from me. I told him I would change my clothing and hair when I was with him, it was no big deal and I dont mind. I meant it.I'm not upset over it I was happy to know why he was so hot and cold with me.
If I'm not hurt and I haven't changed the way I'm acting why is he pulling away?