Scorpio has devestated me :(

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Pisces_Dream
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Okay so I am out with Scorpio on Saturday. We had a nice dinner at this posh place. He than says "Do you want to go for a walk?" So we walk and talk some more. He than says "Do you want to go see a movie?" I say "sure, let's go." So we end the date and he than after the movie we walked to our cars and it was rather cold....with a pat on the shoulder. "So I call him when I get to my car and ask him what is up?" He than tells me "we just don't seem to have the chemistry any more." I was like .....WTF? He says "We talk about the same things, and the passion just not seems like it was when we first met. I was so disappointed, shocked, hurt, and sad. 😢 I said what was it ....attraction? What did I do? He than says it has nothing to do with that.....it just wasn't there for him.

I don't get it.......so if he felt like the chemistry was no where to be found.....why did he want to walk, movie? I don't get it. I noticed that things have been cold since his grandfather passed away and he started to grow distant than. I told him a week ago that I did not think he was in a place to be dating and I understood and I was going to start dating other people. I was frustrated with the coldness of the relationship, lack of communication, and even questioned if he was seeing someone else or was he loosing interest. He says "No, that is not it." He than says "It seems like it was moving so fast"....but than contradicts himself by saying it did not have enough passion. I thought seeing each other would help us rekindle. I did remind him that our relations started to go cold when he just dropped off the face of the earth.

I don't get it....

1 - Why spend all this time and money on the date?
2 - Why not break it off when I gave him the opportunity to break it off?
3 - I have not deleted him off my FB. I however have taken his number out of my phone to not be tempted to call him.

I really liked Scorpio. I thought that this was going somewhere only to find out it was going no where fast. 😢

Any thoughts?

PD
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Pisces_Dream
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I really tried to be his rock. I would call, text, and send card, check in with him.........he would just stay so distant and cold. I did not know what to do in a new relationship. I understand he lost someone. I shared my story of loosing my mother, believe me I understand what that is like. The fact of the matter was that when he went cold the relations went cold of passion. 😢 After telling him I was going to start dating other people, because maybe the timing was not good for him, and I am at a place in my life where I want a relationship. I was trying to hint to him that I was not getting what I needed out of this, and I understood he may be at a place where he couldn't give. I sent him a text a few days later that said "You have raised my bar, there is no one of interest for me out there, I miss you." That is when he said "Let's go out." So I thought maybe this is an opportunity to revive the flame.

BTW - It was not like I did not try to be his rock, but he chose to not let me in. He shut me out, it took him weeks to tell me what was going on about how his grandfather started to decline. I said what do you need from me? Space, do you need me to come to Denver? Matter of fact I remember talking on the phone and his grandfather had passed.....he did not even tell me until we were almost off the phone that he had died. In that time I asked how his family was, how he was doing with it all. I did not understand why he would not tell me how sad he was feeling. I felt like he wasn't into me than that he could share his own grief. I also felt like when I told him I cared he thought I was odd because we were still getting to know each other and I did not know his family.

I was talking to one of my friends about how sad I was, and I think that they are on the money, when they told me "His expectations were unrealistic about you. The rejection is not about you, but stuff he is dealing within himself." We did not end on a bad note, I did express how disappointed I was. I deleted his phone number because I don't want the temptation of calling him. I was hurt, I felt rejected, and let down. I can't feel that type of connection (the one in the beginning) with someone and than go to being friends. He stated he wanted to remain friends however I just need time to get over my own bruised ego. I really liked him a lot....I really did. 😢
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Pisces_Dream
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Thank you all for the comments. I think Cappyluv hit it on the nail ....that is correct ....as a Pisces I need to be emotionally fed especially in new relations with someone. Once I have established a real comfortable feeling than I don't need as much. I am sorry that his grandfather passed away, I lost my mother and definately understand how it feels. Maybe I did smother him, but I only did what I was advised right here on the scorpio board ....try to be a rock which apparently my interpertation of being there for him and his interpertation may have been off. It really made me frustrated to be honest. At the end of the day people are people and we all have needs. His were not obviously met and either were mine. 😢 I am in a place in my life where I do want a relationship and I am very ready. All I know is when it was on it was on.

I would love more than anything than to make him change his mind, but to continue to write, text, re-explain, and beg is the wrong choice for any guy in my opinion. It makes me look desperate and that I am not. 😢 I have to respect how he feels or does not feel. He is the one that broke the connection ultimately, so I think it will have to be up to him to come to me. I have to respect the rejection regardless of how much it hurt. If it is not a Scorpio trait to come back than I guess I will just have to get over this one. 😢 I have done that in the past and it did not serve me well to beg. I end up getting more hurt and looking like a fool.

If anything he could respect about me, I told the honest truth, never played games, I was an open book, however I am not foolish. Regardless of what he says about passion .....I am the epitome of passion .....I have an Aries moon and he knows this because he used to tease me about it. LOL

C'est la vie......Thank you all for your honest and straight answers. Of course what I want him to do is ....come back and tell me how much he misses me and it will be alright. But as I grow wiser with age the likliehood of that happening is probably unlikely.

So learning to hold on to the good and learning to let go when necessary.....to open myself up again for something more right for me.
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Pisces_Dream
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Satori .....If he knew long ago he was not in it, I did give him every opportunity to end it when I stated maybe you are not in the right place with dealing with your grandfather's death. He could have said you are right and end of story. Instead he says lets meet up for dinner, than proceeded to go for a walk with me, than a movie. If he was not feeling it ......why go through all that time, and money? He could have ended it at dinner.....that was an hour of time or even before we met up again. I would also like reiterate that my relations with him were fairly new so getting a feel of what each other need emotionally was really new territory for both of us. We were still learning a lot about one another. Now we are not. 😢

I will maybe try to be his friend later. I am not going to call, text, or write him. I feel like I would be disrespecting his opinion of me. I will keep him on my FB and when I get over this initial blow maybe we can try to be friends. It is just too hard to be someone's friend when you had developed a very strong like for them at least that is how I operate. I have the Aries moon, so I will be able to jump back and be his friend.....just not right now.

PD

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Pisces_Dream
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SC - That is very interesting about the retrograde and thank you for the sweet words.

Satori -

"I think he would have apologized more for not being as available to her because of his situation and would have left no doubt in her mind that he wanted her so she wouldn't have to worry and make statements like the one she did."

He did apologize and that is why we went to dinner this weekend.

PD

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Pisces_Dream
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Posted by ellessque
damn aries moon



Yes indeed Elle .....ALL THE TIME!!! *sigh* Yes I hear that I want intensity, passion, honesty ......than they are like woooohhhh was not expecting that. 😛

BTW - I think someone asked what his chart looks like:

Asc - Gem
Sun - Scorp
Moon - Pisces
Merc - Sag
Venus - Libra
Mars - Libra


Me:
Asc - Sag
Sun - Pisces
Moon - Aries
Merc - Pisces
Venus - Cap
Mars - Sag
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pathfinder
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PD, *Hugs to you* You'll be ok. Listen to the posts of people here who know and consider mine...

You have some things to learn...

Equation:

P😱
"I told him a week ago that I did not think he was in a place to be dating and I understood and I was going to start dating other people. "

~ Plus ~

So we end the date and he than after the movie we walked to our cars and it was rather cold....with a pat on the shoulder. "So I call him when I get to my car and ask him what is up?"

Scorpio-MAN:
He than tells me "we just don't seem to have the chemistry any more." (I was like .....WTF?) He says "We talk about the same things, and the passion just not seems like it was when we first met.

~ Equals ~

His pride made him tell you that. It was like you were giving him an ultimatum. He had to sting you.

For the date: He met with you to feel out whether (or not) you had already started seeing someone.

He met with you to see if he could let you go.

He was totally feeling you out.

He took you some place nice because he has class and he likes you.

Know this (it's important!)🙂: He didn't want to leave you that night quickly, so he thought of different ways to keep you near him: relaxing dinner, walking, going to see a movie. He wasn't sure what was going on with you and your "dating other people" scenario. After all, it had been a week since you made your "announcement". As such, he was feeling you out.

The only reason I'm surprised that you didn't sense this, PD (you being a Pisces), is because you are so self-absorbed you weren't paying attention to HIM,.... you were all caught it in how YOU were feeling and your paranoia and pride were eating you alive.

...more....

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pathfinder
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Scorpio MEN are very territorial, possessive and don't like to make mistakes. The mature ones trust their intuition, so when he started dating you, he saw potential in you. He didn't want to let you go: 1)without making sure he could do that, and 2) that you knew what you were doing (I don't think you did) and understood what you were giving up.

I believe he HAD to find out if you still "wanted" him.

I think he did find out. I think he knows you still "want" him. Thus, the sting was successful.


Someone on the thread said something about you "assuming" what he needed and then telling him you were leaving the relationship. To him, you hurt him when he was already hurting. You couldn't step out of yourself and see someone else. HIM. HIS Family. Show him some stability during a hard time -- not run away.

PD, honest is not what you were being -- at least not as "cut and dried" as it appears in your post/s. The only way I see you as being "honest" is that you were honestly acting out of your fear that he would leave you first -- and you just weren't having that!

You have a lot of pride,too, PD. Nothing wrong with that, but a little misdirected if you want to "handle" the scorpio MAN.

Someone also posted (apologies I don't remember who, but it was a cappy -- love those cap women!) that you could have handled it better by offering to be there for him and just put your emotions aside. It was NOT about YOU at the moment when you made your cop out statement. You insulted him by blaming him for YOUR fears. He never told you he was leaving you, but because you were feeling a little neglected, you allowed your paranoia to get the best of you. You played with fire, and you got burned.

If you are going to play a game of cat and mouse with a scorpio, you'd better be a rat instead of a mouse. Meaning, you had better be clever at it because scorpios can run circles around most people when it comes to strategy. Just understand that the magnitude of the sting you just got, almost surely matches the magnitude of your presumption, insult and ultimatum you gave him.

.....more....
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pathfinder
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You may be able to get him back. It really depends on how much you can show him that life is not all about YOU. He can and will handle taking care of YOU,if you will let him know that you have a backbone and won't go away pouting and feeling neglected when LIFE comes knocking at his door and he has to step up and get it back under control. Let him know that you can be the woman he can rely on to trust him and know that NOTHING will take away
the love and attention he has for HER -- even if it is temporarily unavailable.

...more...
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pathfinder
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I may be wrong about all of this. It does make the scorpio man sound a vengeful and maybe somewhat immature. But some people just gotta let you know Whassup, you know?

Take this thought away from this post: Your scorpio MAN did like you. He may still. He doesn't want to cut you totally off, but you are now not in the same position you were before. You will feel that, PD. sad to say. He may even try "friends with benefits" with you. I know it
sucks how this may turn out, because it's like he is in control and that's what he wants. If you want him back as in a romantic relationship, (not FWB), you need to play your cards right. And the way you do that is show him your security with yourself -- happy in your own skin -- so you don't look so needy to get it from anyone outside of you.

🙂

@-->-->--
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Posted by Pisces_Dream
Wow some real class acts on this site. Thanks for making me feel even more dumpy. P-A $ $ hole ....I would expect nothing better from you this is the best person you know how to be. You succeed at being a real Beotch!!! Keep up the good work the title fits you well!!

I hope when you all feel down in the dumps someone does not treat you like you have me.

PD





I'm sure that's exactly how those men felt, that you kicked to curb after taking them.

that's your karma not mine .. I couldn't care a less how you feel
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P-Angel
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I wonder how that professor felt when you jeapordized his job by sending him those emails?

Which were tracible, and incriminating ... did he lose his job over you being the slut you are?

Or, how about that Sag to whom adored you, worshipped you .. and you basically kicked him in the nuts.

How dare you talk about deserving care to your feelings when you abuse men .. it's because of whores like you why decent women can't find a real man.


I told you last year, I told you again several months ago, and I tell you now .... one day you're going to actually want a man to love you and he's going to treat you like shit, like the way you've been treating men.

Oh yeah, that day is here, isn't it?


karma bitch


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Pisces_Dream
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PF - Thanks for all the feedback. That is a GREAT analysis of what was said here and you took all the good stuff and put it together. For this .....I thank you. That really does sum it up and you taking the time to do this means a lot.

I was talking to my BFF about this, and he asked me about the pattern I have. He said when you started to feel deeply did he know this? I am not sure if it is my aries moon or the pisces sun, but what happens with me is when someone comes into my world and I feel safe .....I become very intense with my emotions with them. Meaning I know I was at fault for also putting him on a pedastool. Meaning = I am way more relaxed and not so insecure when I am not there. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone. He does or says something ....than I fall with both feet in. So this is a lesson I have learned which lead to feeling insecure / neglected during a trying time. You all are right.....I could have handled that part better. I don't know if Scorpio and I will attempt this again, however I have learned a great deal. We have exchanged a few emails both of us claiming hurt feelings. I sent the last email and I am not sure if I will hear back from him, but I have to be okay with this all. 😢 At the end of the day both our needs were not being met, and I have to seriously ask if this could change and be fixed or do we just need to find people who are better suited to us. I thought it was a great match potential and I think he did as well. We cannot go back and change the past but just move forward.

Thanks again for all the input. 😢 I finally weaped a few tears last night and talked it out with my BFF and I am starting to feel better. I had no idea how much I liked him ....or lying to myself in my head, but my heart tells me something else. I know it was such a fresh relations ....but I really did like him. 😢

Thank you again!!

PD
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Pisces_Dream
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P-A $ $ .....Are you in love with me or something—? I think you are closet lesbian who is obsessed with me. Why are you watching my love post?? As for what you write......you are completely mental, lying about things you know nothing about!! Did you take your meds today you mental case?? Do I need to call your doctor—

Fact Correction (Not that it is any of your business)

I never threatened the professors job with emails....weirdo. I flirted with one of my scorpio professors last year but we never went beyond that.

Sag from over five years ago broke my heart. I did not kick him to the curb.

I will say this much .......your obsession with my love life is beginning to creep me out. I have watched single white female. Are you going to try to be me?

Note to posters ....she has been obsessed with my post since 2005. Do you all find that creepy?

Not to break you heart but my door does not swing the bi or lesbian way. Seriously P-Angel....your obsession with my love life is really creepy ....I am not even kidding about this. You want to defend all my love or lover(s) as if I had done all this made up crap you have put in your head. You really do look psychotic.

PD

PD
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pathfinder
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"I sent the last email and I am not sure if I will hear back from him, but I have to be okay with this all."

He said he still wanted to be friends with you, so you will hear from him again. 🙂

PD, I don't know your story on how you met him or who made the first move. Considering the circumstances, if you want to try again at a romantic relationship with him, you will really have to use stealth in pursuing him. You gotta get into his head, PD. Now, if you appear to obvious, he may take advantage of you. Or if you appear too wishy-washy, his radar will pick up on that as well. But if you are cunning with uncovering various parts of your personality, style , affections, etc., sloooowly and confidently to him, he will find you mysterious and sexy and fun, and will be hell-bent on discovering what's going on in that pretty little head of yours!

Scorpios love playing head games, and relish a worthy contender.

🙂
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Pisces_Dream
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Meaining ......when I was just there getting to know him. I was just in the beginning getting to know him and was not that into him or not so intensely into him. We were more friendly than romantically. He than says or does something that hooks me than that is when it gets intense for me. That hook is something that makes me feel safe .....and wanting more because I feel we have connected and we start to become more.

Does that help clarify?

PD
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Posted by pathfinder
I may be wrong about all of this. It does make the scorpio man sound a vengeful and maybe somewhat immature. But some people just gotta let you know Whassup, you know?

Take this thought away from this post: Your scorpio MAN did like you. He may still. He doesn't want to cut you totally off, but you are now not in the same position you were before. You will feel that, PD. sad to say. He may even try "friends with benefits" with you. I know it
sucks how this may turn out, because it's like he is in control and that's what he wants. If you want him back as in a romantic relationship, (not FWB), you need to play your cards right. And the way you do that is show him your security with yourself -- happy in your own skin -- so you don't look so needy to get it from anyone outside of you.

🙂

@-->-->--



Thanks for the advice PF ......To be honest I feel like this whole relations has been TOTALLY about him. I am not sure if I am interested in vesting myself again for someone who plays games like this. It is not only about what he needs, but I have needs too; and I am not about to throw myself into him to get him back. He had a chance with me, as I did with him. It did not work out. It bruised my ego, confidence, and hurt my feelings; however In my opinion.....if he wants to get back together HE is the one that is going to have to work to get me, because I have pulled back my emotional reign on him. It is not healthy to give and give and give .....a.k.a.....the benefactor of the relationship I don't care what sign you are. I adored him and gave him the best person I know how to be. I am not going to change who I am for a man and be this type of person and "play my cards right". I am very black and white about this ....this is who I am, if there has been a misunderstanding we can talk about it and compromise, however I am not going to be one of those women who acts like a Chameleon to get what she wants, because in the end ...she becomes someone she is not and miserable. I am not going to change to appease anyone. I have said this before....I would rather be alone than be with the wrong person for the wrong reasons. So if he wants mystery.....well than maybe he needs to read a John Grisham novel. I am sad and hurt to have it end.....but I am not one of these women who plots .....plays .....how to get the man back who does not want her. To me tha
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pathfinder
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PD, I really want you to get hold of your emotions. What you described in your post is negative emotion.

PD, you are more than what you feel. You have depth and the ability to really look at this situation from a positive perspective. Your goal is to get UN-DER-STAND-ING of each other. Not place guilt or blame. Caprisca?

Now, you just expressed more in that post above than what was the subject I was talking about. I don't know all of what has transpired in this relationship, and you don't have to justify yourself with me. Most people know that scorpios can be selfish and Pisceans selfless, and that the fish generally do most of the compromising. And then the fish resent their own self-sacrificing behavior and blame the scorpion because the fish has trouble standing up for what they want/need in an unemotional, productive way to get what they want from the scorpio.

The way I suggested you approach your scorpio was not to deceive him with the intent of not being WHO YOU ARE, but to show him your confidence and strength in your approach to life, love, family, HIM, etc. and intrigue him into wanting to know you more. Some people look for character.

But to your above post's point, if you feel that you have done nothing but give, give, give and not get what you want/need in return, that is not his fault. Maybe you need to look at how to communicate what you want/need better. There are ways to do this with BOTH of you getting what you want. Maybe you need to be more direct, like using the attitude that he is reasonable and wants the same thing you do in a relationship. Using a "victim" type of approach puts you on the defensive. You want to be on the offensive -- meaning, if you see things that could hinder your affection for him, don't wait until it has gotten to you beyond what you can calmly, and confidently discuss with him. You must realize that scorpios are just as emotional as you are, maybe even more so (in that they just let it rip and don't care where the chips fall, whereas Pisces seems to take the more passive route). You can't blame him for his doing what he feels is right for him to get what he wants/needs just because you may not know how to do the same for yourself. ONE of you HAS GOT to be in control of THEMself (not manipulating the other through anger or hurt), or else neither of you will be able to discuss your deep feelings for each other (or anything else, for that matter) with any success.
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pathfinder
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THAT is what I mean by being cunning, PD. Don't wear your emotions on your sleeve. If you need something from him, approach him as a woman to her man and Let Him Know how what he does/says/reacts affects you and that you want to understand FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE what exactly was meant by the action. Then after you LISTEN TO his "side of the story", you can re-evaluate how you interpreted such-and-such thing, and express to him how it affected or will affect you and why. If you do this right as you go along, you will be better able to decide whether or not this relationship is for you. It will be based on rational conclusive thinking, not merely E-MO.

Building a relationship can be selfless at times, but if you handle it right, you can learn alot about YOURSELF. After all, you are going to carry that same self into the next relationship and you may encounter the same problems.

Look outside the box here and get back in the game to develop a stronger person in yourself while you are acquainted with him. If for nothing else, look at him as a project for your own self-development. The reason he is in your life may or may not be for a romantic relationship. Maybe he needs to learn something FROM YOU. He's not perfect and neither are you. Sometimes the best person for us is not always the one who makes things comfortable for us. That could be what they mean by "Growing Pains"

🙂
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Pisces_Dream
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The only thing that really struck me on your last post was this:

"Sometimes the best person for us is not always the one who makes things comfortable for us. That could be what they mean by "Growing Pains"".

I agree with this 100% !!

However everything else ....Sorry PF .....I still cannot go back chasing someone to come back when HE is the one who closed the door. I think I have a good handle of my emotions. If I didn't .....I think I would be doing some manic thing of calling, writing, texting.......blah blah Please come back ....blah blah. I know what I need to be happy and one of those things is remaining dignifed as a person. Yes, I may feel a bit emotional right now but ...the wound is still pretty fresh and I will get over this. I just need a little time. I am respecting HIS decision ...not mine. I am sorry but if I went chasing him and still wanting to talk about this .....I would think I was a bit crazy. Part of my own emotional reconcillation is writing it out on here, talking to my BFF. IDK .....If HE really had any emotional feeling for me, he wouldn't have cut me off like he did. To me rejection is loud and clear. You don't need to spell it out for me. If this is a game he is playing, I am not prevy to this game.

I agree the Scorpio and Pisces connection is strong, hence why I fell into his charm trap ....like a fly on sticky catcher. 😉 I sent the last email and I have not heard back and I expressed how hurt I was. So the silence speaks volumes and that ball is no longer in my court. He could still write, but I am not holding my breath. If scorpio came back today I am sure I would reconsider, but I cannot afford to hold on to the "What if's?" Part of healing is learning to let go. I am pretty independent, strong, and my life is full and he knows this...probably why he was initially attracted to me. I don't need to prove anything of who I am.

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Pisces_Dream
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con't

BTW - PF .....I am not discounting your advice. It is really helping, however just because I don't agree does not mean I have not taken it to heart. Does that make sense? Some of the stuff you are suggesting is completely out of character to me that is why I cannot subscribe to it. It does not mean that I am not hearing it.....it just means maybe I am learning and understanding how Scorpios operate. I would hope to find a scorpio to click with ......however I cannot be a mold of clay and conform to fit someone else. The best thing I can do is find someone who's temperment matches mine. I really thought I had found that in Scorpio ...but I have been wrong before.

I have to go finish a paper before my class .......again thank you enough to post what you post. I am reading and it is meshing in my mind .......Thank you for all your advice.

Have a lovely day PF!!

PD
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Posted by DapperDon
See, whatcha gotta do, PD is get yourself a gat. Not just any gat, it's gotta be a big one. This way, when you sees him next you can shove the barrel down his throat. At this point he may want to answer your phone calls more. And he also wont say such mean things next time you're on a date.

Now, when you cock the gun you've got to look him right in the eyes, with that glowy, romantic stare you already know and say, "WHAT THE FUCK YOU SAY NIGGA—?" And then pull the trigger CLICK CLACK!

At this point I should emphasize that it is important not to put any bullets actually in the gun because you could go to jail.



That made me *chuckle* 😄 Thank you. Yes....jail is not one of those high achievements I hope to accomplish in my lifetime. 😉

PD
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pathfinder
@pathfinder
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PD, I have no problem with you not agreeing with my advice. It's an offering, which can be accepted or rejected. I only want to help you based on my experience. I am married to a Scorpio MAN and I know what I'm talking about. I didn't play any games to get him. He pursued me and stuck by me through my incarnations of development which were challenging to both of us. HE was ready for a commitment and so was I (I thought), however, there were things I simply didn't understand. The difference between my situation and yours is that I COMMUNICATED with him. Many times I fumbled in communicating and so did he, but it was about us getting UN-DER-STAND-ING, not necessarily proving who did what right or who did what wrong.

I don't know what you wrote in your emails, so I can only speak from what you write here. From your posts, it appears that the latter (who's right and who's wrong) is what you are trying to establish.

IMHO, you are still acting out of emotion, not out of reason. My question to you is: do you want this man in your life or not? Scorpio or not, if you continue to be controlled by your emotions (hurt feelings, fear of rejection, etc.), you will not be the best person you can be and people will never know how truly great you are.
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pathfinder
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Comments: 11 · Posts: 1565 · Topics: 18
"...when HE is the one who closed the door..."

You closed the door, PD, when you made the presumption that he is not ready to date and that you will see other people. OWN THAT. Fear (an emotion) motivated you to say that based on how you interpreted his behavior to you during his grieving over the loss of a loved one. It was all about You, at this point -- in that, you wanted him to reach out to you, and yet since he didn't, it wouldn't have necessarily meant he would not EVER reach out to you, does it?
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Pisces_Dream
@Pisces_Dream
17 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

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Pathfinder - I forgot to mention.......He is my first Scorpio I have ever dated and I am his first Pisces. It explains why we don't get each other completely. I have had potential Scoropio relations in the past ...causal flirting but nothing ever materialized.

Not to sound stalkerish but I read some of your past post ......You definately know what you are talking about and I have re-read your post here. I think Seavixen also has a pretty good understanding of Scorpio's as well. 🙂 I hear what you are trying to say. At the end of the day PF ......I subscribe to my own philosophy to never make a square peg fit in a round hole. It is banging head on brick wall effect. Does that make sense? Maybe I am over idealized in my idea in relationships but I feel like they should just flow. If the discourse puts a stick of the flow and it cannot be worked out than I need to listen to that sign. His birthday is coming up in a few weeks. I will probably send him an email to wish him a happy birthday, but that is the extent of what I will communicate. I don't think it is going to work out for us in the long run, and that really does sadden me because I really liked him a lot. Yes, that is the reality. 😢

As I mentioned in my post I gave him the best person I know how to be. I just don't do well with rejection, I don't think anyone does. I hope we can be friends down the road .....I just can not be friends with him right now without honestly wanting more. 😢

Thank you again for all your advice and words of wisdom.

PD
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pathfinder
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You two are still getting to KNOW each other. You have NO idea what depth of emotion he was feeling and did you ever consider that maybe he was AFRAID to share the depth of feelings with you? NO, you didn't. You ASSUMED something rather than talk it out with him. You acted impatiently because you felt neglected -- when you could have just stayed cool and waited to find some time to talk to him. Keep the door open to him when he felt ready to talk to you. He sounds like a good guy. He didn't have to take you out to dinner and the rest if he didn't LIKE YOU.

I ask you to consider this: Did you ever stop to think that his decision to AGREE with you and break it off was based on YOUR presumption? That maybe he stepped back because you were ready to run for the hills at this incident in his life? You don't know, depending on his age, he may have been thinking about the other things in his life he wouldn't be able to share with you that were more intense than this, so he could he trust you to stick by him if you couldn't even hang in there for this death? I have no idea what your cards said, but your behavior to leave him may have contradicted what those cards said.
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Pisces_Dream
@Pisces_Dream
17 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

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"IMHO, you are still acting out of emotion, not out of reason. My question to you is: do you want this man in your life or not? Scorpio or not, if you continue to be controlled by your emotions (hurt feelings, fear of rejection, etc.), you will not be the best person you can be and people will never know how truly great you are."

Yes I do.....and you bring up valid points.

"I ask you to consider this: Did you ever stop to think that his decision to AGREE with you and break it off was based on YOUR presumption? That maybe he stepped back because you were ready to run for the hills at this incident in his life? You don't know, depending on his age, he may have been thinking about the other things in his life he wouldn't be able to share with you that were more intense than this, so he could he trust you to stick by him if you couldn't even hang in there for this death? I have no idea what your cards said, but your behavior to leave him may have contradicted what those cards said.

That is a good point. My problem with all this PF is this is all speculation. What if he really is not into me and I look like a fool for presuming this .....and just realizing he is just not into me. That is what I am ultimately avoiding.


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pathfinder
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Comments: 11 · Posts: 1565 · Topics: 18
"I don't think it is going to work out for us in the long run,"

PD, that post with this statement expresses such a sound of defeat...

Ok, I won't go any further with this. I don't want to sound like I am beating you up, even though I am (in a sense) 🙂 It's because I KNOW you can do this!

But you are very hurt and not opening up your mind right now. That's understandable. You may need a few moments to feel the sun again. Keep posting, keep allowing people on this board to share their experiences with you to offer help.

IMHO, all is not lost if you want to give your relationship with this man a fighting chance -- whether platonic or romantic. You have got to stop being afraid. It breeds so much negativity and paralyzes you.

Understand this, P😱

Relationships don't always just "flow". The ones that last take work.

@-->-->--
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Pisces_Dream
@Pisces_Dream
17 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1685 · Topics: 110
Thanks for the ass beating Pathfinder!!! You are the best!!! 😉

"IMHO, all is not lost if you want to give your relationship with this man a fighting chance -- whether platonic or romantic. You have got to stop being afraid. It breeds so much negativity and paralyzes you.

Understand this, P😱

Relationships don't always just "flow". The ones that last take work.

@-->-->--"

Good advice. Thank you!!
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pathfinder
@pathfinder
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Comments: 11 · Posts: 1565 · Topics: 18
"That is a good point. My problem with all this PF is this is all speculation. What if he really is not into me and I look like a fool for presuming this .....and just realizing he is just not into me. That is what I am ultimately avoiding. "

"...this is all speculation"

Not from where I sit.

"he really is not into me and I look like a fool for presuming this ..."

Do you see the fear here, PD? False Evidence Appear Real. And along comes presumption.... these little foxes spoil everything, and it could be all IN YOUR HEAD.

"....and just realizing he is just not into me"

Here's the conclusion that you came to all BY YOURSELF. 😢 Did he EVER have any input in this conclusion, PD?

If I were you, PD, I would re-evaluate the relationship by asking myself a few revealing questions like:

1) Was there ever a time before the death in his family, that he treated me like he didn't want me in his life?

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