LibraRose
@LibraRose
13 Years
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Scorpio Man Moods
I am guilty of mood sometimes. It drives my libra wife crazy. I dont mean to shut her out, but sometimes i need to deal with my issues alone. It's nothing a person can do really to end that mood. All ppl can do is respect our feelings and let us work it out. I try not to slip into it, but i find that it's usually when i am dealing with a lot, or if i have much on my mind. Scorpio man is used to internalizing; we're the last sign that will come to others with our problems, be it a wife, shrink, or friend. Even when we do trust you, its still very hard to get out our feelings. They are intense and we dont want to run risk of scaring ppl off.
Best way to handle the mood is to love him through it. When you see he's in one of his funks, give him a loving hug and let him have his thoughts. Kiss his forehead and let him know you're there if he needs you. Sometimes people want to talk us out of things; that only agitates us after a while. Yes, trust he will come out of it so no worries there.
He might slip in and out of moods when he's soul searching or something is weighing heavy on him. But if he's a man that cares about your feelings too, he will learn how to communicate and not shut you out so much when he feels a certain way. It will happen from time to time, but not frequently if he understands how it effects you. I dont think he's doing it to test you; I never get this way to test my wife. It just happens and I wish it didnt. That's why deep down I love her even more for being able to put up with this side of me. Im sure he appreciates you too.
When I'm moody and withdrawn, i talk to no one. I ususally am by myself doing things that get my mood back right again. If my mood is due to a problem, i am working to solve it. If i just need to retreat, i will catch up on reading, sports, video games. at times i just need to think and sort some things out. his mood is temporary and he should be fine if you let him work it out on his own.
Best way to handle the mood is to love him through it. When you see he's in one of his funks, give him a loving hug and let him have his thoughts. Kiss his forehead and let him know you're there if he needs you. Sometimes people want to talk us out of things; that only agitates us after a while. Yes, trust he will come out of it so no worries there.
He might slip in and out of moods when he's soul searching or something is weighing heavy on him. But if he's a man that cares about your feelings too, he will learn how to communicate and not shut you out so much when he feels a certain way. It will happen from time to time, but not frequently if he understands how it effects you. I dont think he's doing it to test you; I never get this way to test my wife. It just happens and I wish it didnt. That's why deep down I love her even more for being able to put up with this side of me. Im sure he appreciates you too.
When I'm moody and withdrawn, i talk to no one. I ususally am by myself doing things that get my mood back right again. If my mood is due to a problem, i am working to solve it. If i just need to retreat, i will catch up on reading, sports, video games. at times i just need to think and sort some things out. his mood is temporary and he should be fine if you let him work it out on his own.
CaringCancer, there's nothing I can add. The posts above are right on the money. Please read what they said carefully because their answers are right on the money.
Well done, guys. 🙂
Well done, guys. 🙂
I was married to scorpio for 5 years. After the first few years I learned when his moods hit to not take them personally. Every now and again I would clarify, "are you upset with me or is there anything I can do to help?". Sometimes if he was in one for too long ( don't judge, I know this is very childish of me) I would throw my own fit and pretend to be upset about something. If I knew he was just grumpy for no reason this ALWAYS worked to snap him out of it. As soon as he thought I was upset with him or giving him an attitude he would forget why he was so grumpy in the first place. It just worked. Sigh. scorpios...
Posted by DazedScorpPosted by CaringCancer
My question(s) for you all are:
1: Best way to handle the mood - Trust that he'll come out of it, be supportive if he needs it, and silent until he comes around?
2: Will he always be this way, or are these moods also combined with the testing of me, and fear of losing control of his emotions and heart?
3: Tell me what you all are doing when you are moody and withdrawn? Thinking non-stop? Playing video games? Reading a book? I'm just curious on
1. You answered you're own question here, and you are spot on. Scorpio men have periods too. It's funny because me and one of my roommates are Scorps, and his Leo girlfriend knows both of us extremely well. She knows when to just let us be, even though she's joke about us being on our "Scorpio period". We're emotional men who don't necessarily know how to handle them when it comes to other people.
Be supportive. Listen if he decides to share what's wrong. Other wise, sit back, and let him ride it out on his own. He will come around.
2.I do believe he will always be this way. Maybe not as intense as he grows older, wiser, and more mature, but he'll still have his mood swings. Like I said, we deal with the emotions we have in a way that most don't understand. It's always on the mind, and the best thing for us to do, is to sit, and analyze what is going on. Once we find our solution, we snap back to reality, and carry on with our lives.
3. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.
It never stops. We can find something to do, working in the yard, painting, reading... Still thinking. Doing something just keeps the body moving, to keep up with the work our brain is doing.click to expand
This about sums it up Lol..Specially #3. That's me all day LOL.
Maybe some personal information is needed to understand everything.. Or maybe not.
When I am "moody", whether it is angry, sad, or any other less than pleasant emotion that causes me to be withdrawn, there are two parts to it. Part 1 is that is how I am feeling, often I am thrown into this mood by conflicting thoughts, fears, hopes, etc. etc. etc. I am usually very aware of my emotional state and how I am presenting myself, and I use that to see who notices, and what their reaction is. The best analogy I have for my own personal "mood swings" is that my mind is like a maze and a minefield, there are many ways through and some are trapped, If you find your way through once you can probably do it again.
In other words, I typically find myself looking to see if the other person responds favorably, or not. If they do, then I take more notice, open up more, and talk about deeper and deeper topics until eventually you hit the soft spots. If you get there you are golden.
The mood swings will always occur (as far as I can tell).
3. (the only numbered one).
The way I have always described my own mood swings, they typically come from a kind of mental static/white noise that I can not quite describe. It causes emotional confusion and that is when I become withdrawn trying to figure out the cause of everything, These times I am usually so introverted I fail to recognize what is going on around me. So this is the other half of the mood swings. When I realize my mood (Which usually happens fairly quickly) I then tend to experiment with those around me, genuinely trying to both root out the cause, and see how others react. I find that when people meet my expectations in these times my mood goes away fairly suddenly.
When I am "moody", whether it is angry, sad, or any other less than pleasant emotion that causes me to be withdrawn, there are two parts to it. Part 1 is that is how I am feeling, often I am thrown into this mood by conflicting thoughts, fears, hopes, etc. etc. etc. I am usually very aware of my emotional state and how I am presenting myself, and I use that to see who notices, and what their reaction is. The best analogy I have for my own personal "mood swings" is that my mind is like a maze and a minefield, there are many ways through and some are trapped, If you find your way through once you can probably do it again.
In other words, I typically find myself looking to see if the other person responds favorably, or not. If they do, then I take more notice, open up more, and talk about deeper and deeper topics until eventually you hit the soft spots. If you get there you are golden.
The mood swings will always occur (as far as I can tell).
3. (the only numbered one).
The way I have always described my own mood swings, they typically come from a kind of mental static/white noise that I can not quite describe. It causes emotional confusion and that is when I become withdrawn trying to figure out the cause of everything, These times I am usually so introverted I fail to recognize what is going on around me. So this is the other half of the mood swings. When I realize my mood (Which usually happens fairly quickly) I then tend to experiment with those around me, genuinely trying to both root out the cause, and see how others react. I find that when people meet my expectations in these times my mood goes away fairly suddenly.
Continued - So when the appetizer came, he handed me a plate, as if to share with me. I put the plate back, with a grin on my face. (I know this it a lot of detail, but I feel its elemental to the story.) Me putting the plate back launched him into a temper tantrum. Maybe it was the bloodies on the empty stomach, who knows, but he was very angry that I took him seriously about wanting all of them. To me, it was more of a little joke, we joke dryly all the time. He decided he wanted to leave, and we left the restaurant without dinner, and he walked ahead of me to his train station. Shortened version, he left the city without me. He wouldn't answer his phone when I tried to find him, but one time he did. He told me that we are done, that he doesn't care at all, never did, and that it's over. OVER AN APPETIZER GUYS? What is wrong with this picture? He hasn't tried to contact me, text, call, etc. I've texted him an apology, and told him that I love him, and left it at that. What is his deal? Did he mean what he said? Is this REALLY the end of it all? After all this time and discovery, bonding and sharing? Why the freeze out? I am devastated.
the appetizer was a trigger. he probably has other issues with you he's not talking about and was almost spoiling for a fight with you to give him the excuse to storm off like a knobhead. done it myself tho...my marriage nearly ended over a bar of soap once, lol.
Thanks R1g0r. I don't know what issues he could have. He's supremely happy with me around, in fact, feels very attached to me and tells me I'm his angel. A teacher to him. Literally what happened could have been reconciled in a 5 minute discussion, in my eyes. Do you think he really meant it's over? The reason I say this is because the past week has been amazing. We have REALLY connected.
He's scared. He's pushing you away so he's not dependent on you, or his feelings for you. It has him in a tailspin.
It's not the reason that set the fight, it's his feelings. Don't take the fight 'seriously', but take the fuel behind it serious. Smoke and mirrors if you will.
Keep trying. Regardless if he wants to be left alone or not, if you don't try somewhat he's going to take that as well that you don't care. And whatever you do, don't put him down or the ridiculousness of the fight. He'll take it that you're putting his thoughts and feelings down. He's hiding behind the fight. So in his mind, it's all serious. He's eye glazed RATM too.
If you hear nothing back after a few days, give it a rest and try again later in a few more days. Then if still nothing, put your foot down and nicely but firmly tell him you've tried, you love him and if and when he wants to talk to you, to contact you.
It's not the reason that set the fight, it's his feelings. Don't take the fight 'seriously', but take the fuel behind it serious. Smoke and mirrors if you will.
Keep trying. Regardless if he wants to be left alone or not, if you don't try somewhat he's going to take that as well that you don't care. And whatever you do, don't put him down or the ridiculousness of the fight. He'll take it that you're putting his thoughts and feelings down. He's hiding behind the fight. So in his mind, it's all serious. He's eye glazed RATM too.
If you hear nothing back after a few days, give it a rest and try again later in a few more days. Then if still nothing, put your foot down and nicely but firmly tell him you've tried, you love him and if and when he wants to talk to you, to contact you.
Thanks Ocean - I'm sorry, but does RATM mean that he's angry? (like Raging?) I am unfamiliar with that term! LOL. I have to think that you are right - he's REALLY let go recently, opened up, and told me that when he's alone. all he does is think and count the minutes till we can be together again, because I calm him. To me that shows dependence. I mean I've seen the worst in him and held on to him regardless. As much as he can be immature in his temper/reactions, he's also very smart and I can't see this ending over this. But I am also realistic and don't want to hold out hope - I hear that when a Scorpio says it's over, it really is.
RATM = right at the moment 🙂
Yes, BUT in this situation, eyes glazed over not meaning rage, but meaning he's not seeing anything else right now but protecting himself.
It does get tricky, that's why you can't give up. He may end up telling you to leave him alone and in a sense he means it so that he can have space ... needs it to sort through those feelings, the fight, start convincing himself he doesnt need you, etc.
BUT in another way deep down he doesnt want you to give up and leave him alone. Not when his feelings for you are strong. He wants to know you love him as much as he loves you. He wont tell you that. he will depend, count on, fingers crossed and pray that you won't give up. Even if he says 'ef off'. That you get it and him without him having to tell you. It's about becoming one with his mind. In his mind, if you are serious about him AND your relationship, AND also that you care about him enough, he is expecting you to know this. To get it all on your own. Without you having to be told.
Yes, BUT in this situation, eyes glazed over not meaning rage, but meaning he's not seeing anything else right now but protecting himself.
It does get tricky, that's why you can't give up. He may end up telling you to leave him alone and in a sense he means it so that he can have space ... needs it to sort through those feelings, the fight, start convincing himself he doesnt need you, etc.
BUT in another way deep down he doesnt want you to give up and leave him alone. Not when his feelings for you are strong. He wants to know you love him as much as he loves you. He wont tell you that. he will depend, count on, fingers crossed and pray that you won't give up. Even if he says 'ef off'. That you get it and him without him having to tell you. It's about becoming one with his mind. In his mind, if you are serious about him AND your relationship, AND also that you care about him enough, he is expecting you to know this. To get it all on your own. Without you having to be told.
*get it = meaning that you understand it (all) (and him) without you having to be told.
Posted by everevolvingepithet
I thought it meant Rag Against The Machine but that fits too Ocean 🙂
LOL 😛
Ocean, you are so right. There is a quiet power in him. Here's our biggest internal conflict. I am very very sensitive to those around me. I NEVER was to assume that I am welcome, I'd rather be the quiet one and let someone else have the attention, I make cautious decisions and depend on questions/body language to obtain my answers to things. To HIM, I should KNOW these things, I should have KNOWN that we would share the appetizer, (that's a simple situation, but one of many) I am supposed to know how much he loves me without him saying it. I am supposed to know by his actions. Which I do know. I read him well, and I'm getting better.
I have humbled myself and my reactions in an effort to INFUSE the fact that I love him, into him. For example, I don't know the city well. I was scared to death when he took off because he does make me feel safe, and together we would have gotten home safely. I should be pissed that he left me there - which I am a little, but that anger is nothing compared to the loss I feel, to the sympathy I feel toward his confusion with life right now, and my desire to make him see that there isn't a whole lot I wouldn't do for him. I got myself home fine, etc. But now I am left with this head case of a man that won't talk this through. This morning I did send him a text asking him to remember that I love him and to remember our time together, no matter what happens. I'll give him some time and see what happens.
This has happened 2 other times. They were during times in which he was expressing and venting to me details of his feelings and his past. Something TINY I said triggered a take off. Those times we were close to home and not in a big city. Both of those times, I heard from him the next day. But both of those times he didn't say it was over. He would text to make sure I got home alright, and then be silent for a day or so. This time he didn't even check to make sure I got home ok and he told me we are done and over. I think this time may be different.
I know it sounds like I am dealing with an immature boy, and I am old enough to cut my losses and move on, see things for what they are - but I can't help but see the good, solid, loving times we've had. It's not like he's played teenage games with me. Things get this way when he has a lot on his mind, and he does rightfully have a lot on his mind.
I have humbled myself and my reactions in an effort to INFUSE the fact that I love him, into him. For example, I don't know the city well. I was scared to death when he took off because he does make me feel safe, and together we would have gotten home safely. I should be pissed that he left me there - which I am a little, but that anger is nothing compared to the loss I feel, to the sympathy I feel toward his confusion with life right now, and my desire to make him see that there isn't a whole lot I wouldn't do for him. I got myself home fine, etc. But now I am left with this head case of a man that won't talk this through. This morning I did send him a text asking him to remember that I love him and to remember our time together, no matter what happens. I'll give him some time and see what happens.
This has happened 2 other times. They were during times in which he was expressing and venting to me details of his feelings and his past. Something TINY I said triggered a take off. Those times we were close to home and not in a big city. Both of those times, I heard from him the next day. But both of those times he didn't say it was over. He would text to make sure I got home alright, and then be silent for a day or so. This time he didn't even check to make sure I got home ok and he told me we are done and over. I think this time may be different.
I know it sounds like I am dealing with an immature boy, and I am old enough to cut my losses and move on, see things for what they are - but I can't help but see the good, solid, loving times we've had. It's not like he's played teenage games with me. Things get this way when he has a lot on his mind, and he does rightfully have a lot on his mind.
I've been through the dealing with an 'immature boy', but seeing through it. Hairpulling, truly ... but love the grown man, and little boy all in one Scorpio man 🙂
He knows he's being an azzhole. He hopes you see it in him too. So you go away. So you won't love him. He's fighting many demons and directions right now. His mind is a million thoughts, feelings, directions, and dimensions right now. He is in man cave mode. *sighs*
The supposed "to just know" DOES get wearing. I know what you mean about knowing them so well, yet something as simple as an appetizer is where it gets blown. Ai ai ai.
It does feel different, because it is different. It is very tricky, and yes it could go either way. That's why you need to take it serious. Scary, I know. BUUUUTTTTT .... DONT give up. Don't. Drive to his house. Text. Call. Drive to his house again.
After awhile you may and can get pissed, in fact I would encourage it if he doesnt snap out of it. He wants to see passion from you too, and no, that you don't allow people to walk over you. And if and when you do then tell him too it was snotty of him to leave you alone in the big city. That you're more than capable of handling yourself, BUT yeah jerky move to not even ask. (But you know as well as I do that if he asked, then he reveals his hiding spot ... meaning, he's not technically in hiding if he's communicating to you even a smidgen. 😛 )
He may have a past that breaks any spirit BUT at some point one can only hope he will stop taking it out on you. He hates himself for doing that, ya know. He doesnt like that he does that to you, and another reason and thing he suffers through. And another reason he may 'save you from him' by ending it.
He knows he's being an azzhole. He hopes you see it in him too. So you go away. So you won't love him. He's fighting many demons and directions right now. His mind is a million thoughts, feelings, directions, and dimensions right now. He is in man cave mode. *sighs*
The supposed "to just know" DOES get wearing. I know what you mean about knowing them so well, yet something as simple as an appetizer is where it gets blown. Ai ai ai.
It does feel different, because it is different. It is very tricky, and yes it could go either way. That's why you need to take it serious. Scary, I know. BUUUUTTTTT .... DONT give up. Don't. Drive to his house. Text. Call. Drive to his house again.
After awhile you may and can get pissed, in fact I would encourage it if he doesnt snap out of it. He wants to see passion from you too, and no, that you don't allow people to walk over you. And if and when you do then tell him too it was snotty of him to leave you alone in the big city. That you're more than capable of handling yourself, BUT yeah jerky move to not even ask. (But you know as well as I do that if he asked, then he reveals his hiding spot ... meaning, he's not technically in hiding if he's communicating to you even a smidgen. 😛 )
He may have a past that breaks any spirit BUT at some point one can only hope he will stop taking it out on you. He hates himself for doing that, ya know. He doesnt like that he does that to you, and another reason and thing he suffers through. And another reason he may 'save you from him' by ending it.
Ah Ocean - you are wise. Really, I've thought of many of your statements already - I'm a true Cancer - I'm diplomatic and can see all sides of a situation. I always put myself in someone else's shoes. I can only imagine what's going through his mind. I am capable of putting aside my own hurt in order to truly understand him and be there for him. I just wish he'd talk to me. I feel deeply betrayed right now because we have proven to each other that we are better than this petty thing.
This past week, when he was venting and expressing, I don't know how many times he told me how rude he can be, how he doesn't mean it, and he hates that I see that in him. He tells me that I'm too good for him, that he doesn't do enough for me. I SEE the depth and maturity in him, the volume of emotions and love that go through him.
There is a true connection between us and I don't quite know what to do now. If he needs 'cave' time, then smothering him with texts, calls, drive-bys isn't going to change anything. But I want more than anything for him to TRULY believe that I love him. It should be evident by the fact that I tried to find him and call him all night and I was just ignored. He knows dam well that what he did last night was cruel. You are right. I'm sure that he's aware that he's being a jerk right now. But I want him to know that I understand why he is, and that I'm still here for him. Because in my heart I know it wasn't anything I did wrong. He is suffering and shutting me out.
Literally, he opened up his own flood gates this week and I saw the very bare naked truth about his life, his emotions, his struggles. He held on to me and told me to never let him go. I hear this is scary for any Scorpio, something that doesn't happen unless they are truly in love. So why then, did he walk away from it all? In all our little difficulties, like I said, he's never said "It's over" and ignored me. Why now? UGH!
This past week, when he was venting and expressing, I don't know how many times he told me how rude he can be, how he doesn't mean it, and he hates that I see that in him. He tells me that I'm too good for him, that he doesn't do enough for me. I SEE the depth and maturity in him, the volume of emotions and love that go through him.
There is a true connection between us and I don't quite know what to do now. If he needs 'cave' time, then smothering him with texts, calls, drive-bys isn't going to change anything. But I want more than anything for him to TRULY believe that I love him. It should be evident by the fact that I tried to find him and call him all night and I was just ignored. He knows dam well that what he did last night was cruel. You are right. I'm sure that he's aware that he's being a jerk right now. But I want him to know that I understand why he is, and that I'm still here for him. Because in my heart I know it wasn't anything I did wrong. He is suffering and shutting me out.
Literally, he opened up his own flood gates this week and I saw the very bare naked truth about his life, his emotions, his struggles. He held on to me and told me to never let him go. I hear this is scary for any Scorpio, something that doesn't happen unless they are truly in love. So why then, did he walk away from it all? In all our little difficulties, like I said, he's never said "It's over" and ignored me. Why now? UGH!
Posted by CaringCancer
So why then, did he walk away from it all? Why now? I hear this is scary for any Scorpio, something that doesn't happen unless they are truly in love.
^^fixed.
You answered yourself.
The thing is, is in a way you scare him. Not scare him in a bad way, but scare him in a way that forever in a day he wanted someone who was like you, and now he has it and it scares the Bjesus out of him. Someone who gets him, loves him for who he is ... the good, the bad, and the ugly.
All of this scares him. He scares himself. He's afraid to trust all of it for fear you WILL leave him. If he pushes you away, he prevents all of it.
He doesnt know what to do with it all, yet he knows if he takes one step towards accepting it .. then it makes him weak to it, and you. Acceptance and embracing you is weak, it means he succombs to you, and in the past when he put that kind of trust into someone, look where it got him. BUT, he knows and sees you are different.
Yes he wants man cave time, just like us Cancers do. We need shell time. Think of it like us. If the people we care about dont check in on us, even if we ignore them? What goes through our mind? That they must not care.
Our curse is being able to put ourselves in other's shoes. It does allow for ppl to walk all over us, not because we're weak, or we allow it but because we understand human nature too much. That's what he needs. That's the part of you getting him.
In accepting all of it, then you do accept him. As much as he loves that, and wants you to, he doesnt get you. Why you would, let alone why you would want someone like him.. a fooked up mess. Ya see what I'm saying? So you can't give up on him, because A) everyone else has, and B) he's expecting you too, and C) he wants you to so he can prove himself RIGHT .. that eventually everyone gives up on him 😉
No drive bys. You drive into the drive way and go to his door, and knock. And knock, and knock. You have a note ready, and you leave it at the door if he doesnt answer. And then you text him, and tell him you stopped by, he can hide all he wants, it doesn't stop you from loving him, and that you left a note.
All of this scares him. He scares himself. He's afraid to trust all of it for fear you WILL leave him. If he pushes you away, he prevents all of it.
He doesnt know what to do with it all, yet he knows if he takes one step towards accepting it .. then it makes him weak to it, and you. Acceptance and embracing you is weak, it means he succombs to you, and in the past when he put that kind of trust into someone, look where it got him. BUT, he knows and sees you are different.
Yes he wants man cave time, just like us Cancers do. We need shell time. Think of it like us. If the people we care about dont check in on us, even if we ignore them? What goes through our mind? That they must not care.
Our curse is being able to put ourselves in other's shoes. It does allow for ppl to walk all over us, not because we're weak, or we allow it but because we understand human nature too much. That's what he needs. That's the part of you getting him.
In accepting all of it, then you do accept him. As much as he loves that, and wants you to, he doesnt get you. Why you would, let alone why you would want someone like him.. a fooked up mess. Ya see what I'm saying? So you can't give up on him, because A) everyone else has, and B) he's expecting you too, and C) he wants you to so he can prove himself RIGHT .. that eventually everyone gives up on him 😉
No drive bys. You drive into the drive way and go to his door, and knock. And knock, and knock. You have a note ready, and you leave it at the door if he doesnt answer. And then you text him, and tell him you stopped by, he can hide all he wants, it doesn't stop you from loving him, and that you left a note.
**B) He's expecting you to (not "too, or as well")
Posted by CaringCancer
Oh man, I know - but what next? Will I eventually hear from him? If he "needs" me so much, then will he come around? Exasperating!
Well, there is no guarantee. I'm sorry to say that, but yeah ... no, there isn't one.
This is where it starts getting ugly. Down to the nitty gritty. This is YOUR test, and to him. To see where your true grits and bones are. Are you going to walk away? Are you going to show YOUR true colors? Are you a liar? Are you truthful? Are you faithful? Are you loyal? Are you a fake? Are you sweet but strong? A hoax? Biatch? Are you passionate? A quitter? Fighter? Fight for what you love and who you love? Throw in the towel at one big blow out and blow up? Who at the end of the day are YOU?
Gosh, Im having a hard time stomaching what Im reading, CC. While I agree with what Ocean says about WHY he has done what he's done, I am sickened to hear about how you have diminished YOUR feelings at what he has done TO you. I am going to be very open, honest and perhaps brutal to you...but you appear to have very little self-respect and the word "doormat" is jumping up and down in my mind. This man has ABANDONED you twice before, and this is acceptable to you? It's not wonder he did it again, he is the supreme "king baby", you have taught him to teach you in this way.
Instead of your beng incensed at being abadoned and treated as if you were a naughty child, your only concern is "Will he come back?". It's as if a victim of a crime is begging their perpatrator to return because.....? Because you have romanticized all the good times, those wonderful feelings of intimacy he gave you. Romanticizing the good, minimizing the bad. One day the bad will outweight the good because this behavior will NOT change, it will get worse if you continue to accept it. WE teach people how to treat us. You are very smart and sweet, you and I have spoken before, but you are clearly blinded in love and find excuses for him to hide behind like his traumatic past, cant see his daughter....please...we all have a shit history, that is no excuse for bad behavior.
Look up codepdency, read on it. Your relationship is cleary a text book case. And yes, mine was too...I speak from personal history that I was you in several relationships. I laid on the floor when it came to my wants, my needs, my self respect...becuase I "loved" him. You may be angry at this post, but I had to say what I see. Ive read all your posts about this relationship, and while he is probaby a good man, as you are a good woman, together you two seem to have an unhealthy dynamic.
Instead of your beng incensed at being abadoned and treated as if you were a naughty child, your only concern is "Will he come back?". It's as if a victim of a crime is begging their perpatrator to return because.....? Because you have romanticized all the good times, those wonderful feelings of intimacy he gave you. Romanticizing the good, minimizing the bad. One day the bad will outweight the good because this behavior will NOT change, it will get worse if you continue to accept it. WE teach people how to treat us. You are very smart and sweet, you and I have spoken before, but you are clearly blinded in love and find excuses for him to hide behind like his traumatic past, cant see his daughter....please...we all have a shit history, that is no excuse for bad behavior.
Look up codepdency, read on it. Your relationship is cleary a text book case. And yes, mine was too...I speak from personal history that I was you in several relationships. I laid on the floor when it came to my wants, my needs, my self respect...becuase I "loved" him. You may be angry at this post, but I had to say what I see. Ive read all your posts about this relationship, and while he is probaby a good man, as you are a good woman, together you two seem to have an unhealthy dynamic.
Sacrificing oneself for another is NOT codependent? Why and what should she be sacrificing in this instance? If she has a kidney and he needed one, done. That isnt a sacrifice because she has another one. But, he left her in a city where she was afraid to get home alone? WTF— and three times?
FFS...where is Tiki??
FFS...where is Tiki??
Don't listen to the romantic fairy stories. The guy behaved badly. You don't treat the woman you love (if he does) the way he has treated you. Maybe he has been rejected by women before - FOR GOOD REASON!!!! LOL. He's got to do a lot of work before he is worthy of you.
Everyone has garbage. Most people know this and healthy people know to NOT let others garbage spill over onto them. That doesnt mean a person bails out when someone has issues, fears, mistrust etc. It means they take care of THEMSELVES first. This mad has now developed a pattern of abandonment which is his form of control. If she would have laid down the law at the first event, there would NEVER be a second one.
*man
Hmmm, tried replying to the PM ... twice...both are not showing in my sent folders?? :/ Hopefully you've gotten them
Back in February, you couldn't manage to let him live.
Now, you have a current thread, which is 6 months, and you've still got your panties wadded up your ass because you cannot let him live.
I'm sure more people will come to aide and support you .. without even realizing that they are enabling you to continue in not accepting him as he is, and not permitting him to be the human he is.
That makes it YOUR issue ... 6 months and YOU are still unable to let him live, is on you and your responsibility to stop making big deals out of all the nothingness.
Now, you have a current thread, which is 6 months, and you've still got your panties wadded up your ass because you cannot let him live.
I'm sure more people will come to aide and support you .. without even realizing that they are enabling you to continue in not accepting him as he is, and not permitting him to be the human he is.
That makes it YOUR issue ... 6 months and YOU are still unable to let him live, is on you and your responsibility to stop making big deals out of all the nothingness.
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I'm only a Scorp moon, but my Libra self would probably be a bit more relaxed about the pulling away given that we do it too. I'm guessing it will probably ease with time while he works on his stuff. Just stay true and trustworthy which I am sure you are. He probably doesn't want to be fixed (most men don't even if we think they need it!!!)