Scorpio promises

Good Day fellow forum members. I have a question for the scorpio's, any input will be greatly appreciated.

So, me and my Scorpio love have been having an amazing time the past 3 months. So much so that we are really opening up to one another on a level unknown to me. I have been cooking for her, and she for me, but really enjoying our time together. We can get annoyed and agitated by each other for silly thing and then suddenly we are sitting and working through it so that we really learn more about each other.

She even told me a few times that she actually appreciates it and really feels that it is necessary. Anyway, the way I understand her, and what I have read on the boards, is that they value honesty and commitment.

Now I told her very early on, and a few times before, that I don't make promises in general, unless I can explicitly guarantee either myself or the person I am promising that I CAN actually make due.

I am not going into details, but last week Thursday she made a promise, and Saturday she had managed to break it... Now I might be, highly likely, looking at this way to deep, but this type of thing has a tendency to unsettle me. I don't like it, and I love her so much, but why would something like this happen?

After Saterday she avoided me till Tuesday, when I initiated a bit of small talk (Cause I miss her : $ )

She was alright and later on actually started messaging me like mad again.

Is there a reason to this? It isn't such a serious 'breach', if you will, but it still unsettled me :/

True that. lol

Posted by OmagaIII
I am not going into details, but last week Thursday she made a promise, and Saturday she had managed to break it... Now I might be, highly likely, looking at this way to deep, but this type of thing has a tendency to unsettle me. I don't like it, and I love her so much, but why would something like this happen?

Since you're not going into detail all I can offer is because life happens. Promises get broken. If she were making a habit of this then I could see why you would question her commitment, but I am not sure one misstep is a reflection of that. Keeping in mind, I do not know the details.

Why it happened can only be figured out if you ask her, but it seems like you may be holding her to a standard that she may not have. You stated that you will not make a promise you cannot actually make due. Does she follow the same line of thinking? Better yet, does she expect things of you that she is not willing to offer in return (generally speaking)? If so, that may be the issue.

I understand where you are coming from because similar to you, I will not say I can do something if I cannot guarantee I will be able to follow through---but that is me. I will also share, that similar to you when people break a promise it truly does bother me, it may even hurt depending on the person and the promise. It is something I am working on though because a lot of that is my stuff. It would be nice, but you cannot expect others to have the same standards you have. All you can do is express why something is important to you and hope the person will make the effort to respect that. If the person continues to disregard your feelings, holding the person accountable.

Posted by OmagaIII

After Saterday she avoided me till Tuesday, when I initiated a bit of small talk (Cause I miss her : $ )

She was alright and later on actually started messaging me like mad again.

Is there a reason to this? It isn't such a serious 'breach', if you will, but it still unsettled me :/

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As for this^^^ I am missing something. Did you call her on not following through? I do not understand was she upset?

As a Scorpio, I find it surprising that she would break a promise! She must have felt really bad that's why she avoided you, she is embarrassed. To me betrayal/false promises is a big thing for me, there has been instances where I broke a little promise with someone and I get so embarrassed and avoid them(when I was younger) or apologize profusely (how I am now) until they forgive me.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by OmagaIII

After Saterday she avoided me till Tuesday, when I initiated a bit of small talk (Cause I miss her : $ )

She was alright and later on actually started messaging me like mad again.

Is there a reason to this? It isn't such a serious 'breach', if you will, but it still unsettled me :/

As for this^^^ I am missing something. Did you call her on not following through? I do not understand was she upset?

click to expand

Yes, I called her while I was drafting plans for new buildings. I saw something that reminded me of her so I called.

She was very cheery, but it felt like she was hesitant. Like you mentioned, embarrassed. Yet about 3 hours later my phone was off the hook with messages that came in from here 😄 Thanks for the insight, i understand a bit better. 🙂

Posted by Catmilk677
Aww, omegalll you rlly like this girl! I hope it works out. 🙂

Hehehe Yes I do. And thanks for the kind words 🙂

Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
*sigh*

Stuff happens, taurus.

I don't see this ending well. You have her on too high of a pedestal.

You didn't provide enough detail. What was the promise? What were the circumstances surrounding it that didn't allow her to follow through?

If she avoided you for a few days, she may have been embarrassed because she didn't fulfill her promise.

Ugghhhh, the stench of unrealistic expectations is making me dizzy! 😛

Ok, I get that. Thanks, and you are right, I am putting her too high up. She mentioned before that disappointment is a fact of life... So I see what you are saying, and I really appreciate it 🙂

Either way, I just would like to try my best not becoming part of her distant past by disappointing her or turning my back like most others do, not saying I am perfect or that she is, but I might be creating a feeling for that. And that has to stop from my side.

As for putting her on high. Nobody has ever done it before, and since we have been together doing this has changed her a bit as well, for the better. She is use to being looked down on, being treated like shit and being mistreated not even being awarded the courtesy of being asked her input, her thoughts and her feelings in most matters. All of this is changing and she is puzzled by it but also likes it, to an extent.

Since she has never been in such a situation she is really bad at expressing her self, but since we have been spending time together even that is picking up. But I still get what you are saying, so I'll tone it down a bit 😉 And besides, I want her around. She has drastically changed my view about the world around me and I like that 😄

Btw, not budging on the details hahaha

Hahaha Thanks.

I sensed that out of your first post that I shouldn't go to those extremes. So I am aware of what I have to do to just let her be her self without unrealistic expectations. Yes, she can stand up for her self, and yes on a more serious 'breach' I WILL take her down in a dust cloud, but she is still human, as am I and she shouldn't be treated less than or more than (unless my romantic side kicks in and wants to spoil her rotten, discretion therefore is advised 😛) a beautiful unique human being.

Thanks again, I really do appreciate it. _—_—_??

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by earthyscorpio
As a Scorpio, I find it surprising that she would break a promise! She must have felt really bad that's why she avoided you, she is embarrassed. To me betrayal/false promises is a big thing for me, there has been instances where I broke a little promise with someone and I get so embarrassed and avoid them(when I was younger) or apologize profusely (how I am now) until they forgive me.

+100 to everything she wrote!

She must feel really bad and isn't that great at apologizing for it right now from the embarrassment. I think the best thing to do is talk with her when you are ready to be more understanding than judgmental.

I as a Scorp am really hard on myself and not very nice to myself when I make mistakes. I find it so relieving and inspiring when someone else isn't as hard and helps to comfort me. It also allows me to open up and tell my side of the story!

If you do this, she will forever thank you!!

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I am already there. I already see and understand what happened and how my actions have made it uncomfortable unnecessarily. As for the reason why it happend, those are the little details we can work through. She would be more comfortable and open knowing that I have a greater sense of self in this matter. Thanks for the input. =D

Posted by Whatu
She is probably pretty stoked to have met a Taurus man who wants to talk about stuff with her. well done

Thanks hahaha 😉 I hope she is : $ I sure am.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it's about learning to dance in the rain and love isn't about being perfect it's about choosing who's imperfections your willing to accept perfectly.

She might not be perfect, or even ready for a more serious relationship, but that is okay. Doesn't change my feelings and besides, I really might need to work harder for this one hehe

Omagalll,

Scorpio will break the promise once dignity is being threatened...we don't like to be force and command

we do force and command. lol...

So be careful, Scorpio won't compromise. Learn to respect her decision even she was telling that she

will give you anything... what if that anything will cost her into ''everything''.

and your key.... just remain calm and humble. She will appreciate that. and I don't think

you're going to say...sorry. taurus men are not that apologetic people. lol. They don't even

realized the mistakes but counting their partners mistakes that bruised their egos... lol

Well, I don't think you know me well enough 😛

And I think you should meet her hehehe cause I apologize straight up, no mess no fuss. She is way to precious to be an asshole.

FYI, she rocked up at my office today, like out of no where. (Well I did send her an text this morning telling her I was thinking of her and sending angels over : $ later she replied saying she really appreciated the sweet text this morning.) And initially it was a bit, weird, but about 10 mins in she apologized for the weekend. I told her it was ok, I understand what happened and she doesn't need to stress. I know enough about her to understand the situation.

She was immediately relieved and told me she was so thankful that I understood. Just before she left I told her that she knows me well enough as well, that I will be straight up with her, and she said that she really appreciates that in me since few have ever been like that with her.

Anyway, she is holding back, but I am seeing her soft side, and I kneel in honor of this sacred part of her.

@Starlover, it might be true, but the way I see it is she might be lucky, as am I, but if anything I am the one that shouldn't eff up, not her : $

Posted by starlover
Very honest of you to admit that ~~ well i hope neither of you do eff up, but at the same time, try and keep in mind, all things have a shelf life, and nothing is forever. This is the mistake i made, i believed in *happily ever after*....together forever, then after things moved on with my r.ships, i adopted a more realistic philosophy

Good luck!

🙂

Thanks for that, really appreciate it. What you'r saying is true, and that is what I believe destroys most relationships. People don't see the real deal. The thing is, we have been spending time together only recently. I have been there for close to 2 years, and in all of this reality hits home hard. Yes I have been cooking for her etc. doesn't mean we haven't had our stuck moments...

That is also way, if it is my fault, I will immediately apologise if I realize that it is my fault. It's at the point where if something happens and I start to apologise she already tells me, it's ok, don't be so hard on your self, I could have been more helpful/clear/etc hehehe

The thing is, I am learning. I have a few friends that are married, that have told me a lot of things, which I haven't been able to understand, and for the first time really do understand and it humbles me. One thing that we have been working through no matter what is, 'don't leave or say good bye/good night if your angry' : $ Not once have we left from one another feeling anger or resentment because we try and resolve it immediately.

Now she sucks with words hehehehe 😛 but I can see she is trying and I pick up on those cues and we get to a conclusion with no issues. She actually started telling me how she feels and what she thinks. Today, she really tried to apologize, and when she started I allowed her to say what she felt before I told her it's ok. Words go only so far, it's our actions that do the rest. She was blushing red and I could see she was very embarrassed and she was sincere, but more than that, they emotional energy she emitted, that is what caught me.

Your right, 'happy ever after' might be very unrealistic. Still won't prevent me from trying to get close to that. It really is the imperfections in life that makes it perfect and worth it. I am insecure, for different reasons than she might be, and when she isn't around it can drive me mad.

If she is around, I am grounded, and I can say what I think and feel without worrying that she will turn it against me, which by the way I have never ever been able to do before. I also feel that the same thing happens to her. I have had one or two evenings where I though... crap... but she has come back every time. I just need to be a bit more trusting :/

I feel a sort of balance, I am better with words than feelings. She is better with feelings than with words. I am a giver, and she actually allows me to give with out judgement. She also likes to be a giver, and sometimes I can sense her annoyance when she feels she can't give enough to thank me, and I feel the same. So up till now it has been a tremendous learning experience for both of us. It isn't the type of scenario of walking into a bar single and out with a date. This truly is a cultivated experience and I love it. 😉

MoonBlue8,

Yes. still dating an ex taurus man. Been 4 taureans.

It's not that they have egos... they are not just apologetic. they don't recognized their mistakes.

They think... what they think. They are stubborn.

Wow. that's nice Scorpio mom and Taurus dad. You have a loving and well provider parents.

and this ex taurus man... yes he is egotiscal. He kept mocking his ex taurus woman that she is not

a good cleaner and no degree. I was insisting but she was ur ex gf... then he is about to explode

in front of me and said in a loud voice... She was not my ex and she wasn't my gf. He was just a sex.

lmao.