Scorpio's returning

Why do you guys ignore someone only to return later..as if you never did anything..

My Scorpio friend has ignored me on and off and he always comes back, I just don't understand it, and the crazy thing when he starts the ignoring thong it's after we have sent time together, and from my perspectuve have gotten closer...then he dissapears....The reason I am bringing this su again is because he has once again resurfaced

I read this and just wanted to post.
I'm not a Scorpio sun but I do have Scorpio as my rising sign. I've done this very thing to a few people. I know it's F'ed up. I can't speak for your friend but I can tell you my reasons:

Usually the person I walk away from AND come back to is someone I care deeply for. They may have done something that hurt me - knowingly or unknowingly - or maybe I know I care for them but we aren't working out SO rather than stick around and hurt them(or be hurt by them), I'll leave and go on with my life and let them go on with theirs.

After a while, my hurt feelings will be healed and I'll be optimistic about this person again -or- I may just happen to run into them and feel happy to see them. I have thought about how my walking away my affect them, but I usually feel like I could be doing a lot more damage (or get a lot more damage) if I stuck around.

Plus I'm one of those women who needs their "space." My feelings tend to be pretty intense and rather than put others through them, I'll just go off and deal with things by myself.

I hope that helped a little bit.

Thanks everybody...and sorry for the mis-spellings...My computer keys have a mind of their own sometimes...

Hello, softie

It is very common thing to happen between Cancer and Scorpio. They find it very hard to let go of each other. Even when they are appart, they always have the other on their mind, it is crazy, such deep, strong connection, very hard to break.
But if this is not what you want (on-off relationship), I think you should just "shut the door" on him, and not let him play yo-yo with you emotionally, because that's what Scorpios are very good at doing. Otherwise, this game can go on forever. He is probably testing how weak you are, and your reactions to him when he is back. In this case, you need to decide if this is good for you or not, and act accordingly, I really don't know what more to say. All the best, L.

I have this problem with a scorpio male. We're just in the flirting stage and it's on-off. I find it quite strange. I like me one day and want to get closer and then next day he does something which makes me can't stand him.
When I start giving attention, he holds back. When I ignore, he come running...really stressful.
So now I'm trying to "shut the door". I'll see what happens.

Stressful is exactly right, bestwoman.
Sometimes the stress is so tiring. I sometimes feel physically exhausted with my Scorpio. I have read that the bond between a Scorpio and Cancer is the most rewarding and passionate of them all and yet can be just as torturing.

UGH!
Lubenica: "It is very common thing to happen between Cancer and Scorpio. They find it very hard to let go of each other. Even when they are appart, they always have the other on their mind, it is crazy, such deep, strong connection, very hard to break."

AMEN! Couldn't have said it better myself!

Moonbaby,

You and your "little man" are ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!! Great photo!
I agree with you, Cancer-Scorpio match is the top match of the zodiac, but can be very torturing. So much emotion, almost unbearable, UGHHH...

What a wonderful compliment, lubenica. Thank you!

Unbearable is right on!

"He is probably testing how weak you are," Are Scorpios this way by nature? If so, any advice on how to avoid it? It's like he tries to see what my breaking point is and right when I'm at that point, he pulls me in and just loves me. BAH! I'm walking a very fine line with wheth or not to throw my hands in the air. 😢

Moonbaby,

You are welcome, really great picture of the two of you!

I don't know how to avoid Scorpio little games, that's just the way they are I think. You are rigt, trying to find the breaking point, they love doing that, it seems... But all we crabs can do is enjoy the intensity and the passion, it is great. What a connection, phew!!! All the best, L.

The connection is huge, you're right. It's almost unhealthy it seems at times. Well, *sighs* gotta just kep movin' right? After all, if it was really that bad...it wouldn't feel so *#&*@& good! 🙂

I just started a whole other post on this similar issue. I am a Cancer. He is a Scorpio. We have amazing attraction and a great relationship. Or I should say "had" because he came home after a week away where he tortured over the decision to leave me. It's basically because he doesn't have the skills to ever go farther in any relationship -- friends too. He needs his space and I have always given it to him. I just don't know if someday he will want to come back or not. I think it's possible but I don't want to keep my hopes up. Cancer-Scorpio is very strong.

yeah...well he makes me sick

actually, a real scorpio guy won't need to actively test a girl. he'll just observe how she interacts with her surroundings - it's much more emotionally safe for the scorpio to stay at a distance and not involve himself than risk getting directly involved in petty mind games. this is coming from a text-book scorpio.

now, this doesn't mean scorpios guys don't play games. they just don't intentionally try to mess with other peoples' emotions because they're so sensitive themselves and, contrary to popular belief, have an amazing sense of empathy.

ohhh, and i've done the flight thing multiple times in my relationships. for me, fleeing from a relationship has always either come from a) power issues or b) deep emotional issues. he could just have been hurt too many times and is taking his insecurities out on you.

Well maybe they fon't intentionally play games..but the push pull thing can definitely be misconstrued as games

yeah, the thing you have to remember with scorps is that we're driven by emotion. we feel things out more than we think things out. so, as long as you make him feel needed the chances are he'll stay by you.

Well it's basically deep emotional issues with him. But you, as a Scorpio male, do you do a yo-yo thing and sometimes go back to the person you were with? He tortured over this decision. He's an amazing guy and I can't be angry with him about a thing. IT's just painful.

By the way, I definitely think it's him protecting himself. He just doesn't want to hurt anymore and know that he can't keep going down the dating for a few months/inability to ever get close path.

sam, i definitely do the yo-yo thing. he's probably just afraid of trusting you. with scorpios, it's all about making us in control. as long as he feels he has a good grasp of you (we're really possessive) then he might open up.

But he actually went ahead and called it off this time. I asked him if there was anyway that the door could be left open for the future and he said he didn't think so. He has never had a long-term relationship. He is incapable of it. And it hurts him. So instead of keeping hurting me, or disrespecting me he called it off. This time, the "it's not you it's me" thing is absolutely accurate. It really is him. He has told me on many occasions that I am the best woman he knows and that any man would be lucky to have me. He just can't stomach the pain again. I just want to think that there is some minor possibility that we could somehow, at sometime, get back together.

that's rough - i'm really sorry. did you talk with him about your own feelings? you just have to be brutally honest with him. if there is really nothing that can be done, then it's best to not make this as painful for you as it is for him, and move on while still being a good friend to him and all that good stuff.

I've done it a lot, less now than in more insecure times in my life. For me personally it's about making sure that you know that we can survive and prosper without you. I believe it's not that we want to deceive you by trying to make it seem as if we're returning without ever 'doing anything', but I think it's effectively to drive the point home.

A Pisces friendship that I remember incidently treating this way could immediately decipher the point and give me my time, whereas on the other hand, a Leo friend that I used to do it with all the time (because we really could piss each other off) didn't take it without wanting to try the same thing - to prove that they could survive and prosper without me.

So I think some people get it and see it for what it really is, which is just communication by action and a warding away of unwanted troubles by a normal, moody Scorp. And then I think other people get pissed and take it maybe as an insult? a challenge?

For you softy, I think it would be good for you to not let it puzzle you or confuse you, and especially not to the point of any unneccessary worrying. Good?

Thanks Elliot..I told myself today that I will just go on with my life and not to let his behaviors hurt me anymore.

scorpio_wreck. I did tell him how I felt but in a letter I wrote to him since he basically wouldn't let me air my feelings to him. He just wanted to come back, tell me he couldn't do this anymore and leave without breaking down or having me poke holes in his theories. This happened about 3 weeks ago and I succesfully talked him out of breaking up. He just keeps saying "every girl, this has happened with every girl, I can't keep doing this". Righ, so let me be the one who can help you through it right? I'm just glad to know that Scorpios aren't the type that when you are out you are forever out.

I think that's healthy, softy.

I usually assume it means they are seeing someone else but want to keep their toe in the ocean.

Not always little sparrow. Sometimes it means they got caught up in a moment. They let down their guard for a minute. One day a scorp is floating in romantic bliss. Then they wake up, face reality and run. And think, and dwell, and soul search........

Then come back to you if you are deserving.

emerald pretty much hit the nail on the head with that one - he has to learn to change by himself. scorpio is ruled by death and transformation, so this lesson should be especially sacred to him. more often than not, the one who wants to bring change will change the most, and not into something desirable.

I think he really learned a huge lesson. I will move on and I know that for a while I will hold out some hope that he will come back.

Samantha,

I agree, let it be for now. You never know what the future holds, he may come back one day when he had done enough soul-searching. I would move on with my life, and just leave it for now, all I can say is that with Cancer-Scorpio relationship, it is more than possible that he will return. Not a guarantee, of course, but very possible...

Scorpio wreck - I agree with everything you said in your previous posts.

I KNOW Scorpios very well, they are ultra sensitive and sometimes they dissappear because they can't stand the pain of it all. They are very emphatetic and profound, and I don't think they would heart anyone on purpose, especially not the compatible Crab!
I simply know Scorpios, I honestly can read their minds and communicate without words with them, the connection is so psychic. An amazing bond. All the best to all Scorpio-Cancer couples, together or not...

Thanks Lubenica. I feel the same way with them. Lots of communication with no words. That is what makes me think that he is subconsciously hoping I'll chase after him. So the hurt will go away. But that takes place in another world and I am afraid to trust that.

"One day a scorp is floating in romantic bliss. Then they wake up, face reality and run. And think, and dwell, and soul search........"

VERY true!! The trouble with this? As a Cancer, we are floating right along with them as it feels so damn good to see your Scorpio actually soften a little. For me, it just MELTS my heart. Then WHAM...the running. We suddenly aren't floating anymore, we are left wondering what the hell just happened! LOL 🙂

All in all, Scorpio men will give you their all (what tremendous staying power) when you just let them be them. When you complicate things emotionally, they simply get frazzled and seem to feel a little bit out of control. Not control of you...of their own feelings. Don't confuse the two or take it personally. These creatures need to move at their own pace. And more importantly, FEEL and LOVE at their own pace. And believe me...they are in no hurry to make themselves love or feel. All in time. I think that they have to feel safe and confident with you. Even more than us Cancers in some way. Either way...I JUST LOVE EM! Second to none they are!

One thing to remember, however, when a Scorpio man really loves you, more often than not, thats exactly the time when they protect themselves and can even act as though it's NO PROBLEM AT ALL to let you go. Until they are comfortable with their own feelings for you and KNOW that you will not break them...this is usually the way.

Why thank you, mam. This is always the case for you. I look forward to reading what you post. It always makes so much sense. Tks! 🙂