Scorpios, sex and violence

Hi, I am a new poster, I am 26, a Virgo dating a Scorpio for more than a year now. He is actually what got me started on studying astrology because he was so enigmatic at the beginning. He has tons of Scorpionic traits as he is a triple Scorpio and also has his Venus in Scorpio.

Something happened last night that has me a little concerned. I have been ill for a week with flu. Last night was the first time I felt better and he asked if he could come over. He did, and immediately he was sweet and loving, telling me how much he missed me, that when I didn't answer the phone when he called (because I was heavily medicated and sleeping) he got so worried he considered driving past my house. I melt when he is romantic like that and he said that since I was recovering, we should just lie in bed and hold each other. We did for about 20 minutes, then I go to kiss his neck, and he says in a really weird voice "Bite me." I thought he was being funny, but he said again "Bite my neck. Make it hurt." So I sort of play bit him and he got annoyed and said "No, like this" flipped me over and bit the hell out of me! He didn't break skin or anything, but it was shocking. Then he started wrestling with me - I grew up with all older brothers, so I am used to being sort of on the receiving end, but he was contorting me in all these positions and kissing me really hard and forcefully. I started to get the upper hand and that I guess brought out his competitive streak because he started getting more forceful, telling me to submit to him or he'd keep going. I didn't want to give in, but I had to after awhile because it was getting painful.

He then picked me up, laid me down and started kissing me all over, gave me the most amazing oral sex we've had since we've been together, then asked me to jerk him off (which I love to do) while biting his shoulder, and he came harder than I've ever seen. Then we went to bed.

This morning, we had amazing sex again after a wrestling match that he won again, but I did a little better than last night. He left a few minutes ago and said he was so turned on by our "tussling" and he loved that I was a "scrapper" and not some helpless female and that he's always wanted someone who'd understand that he likes pain sometimes.

This frightens me a little. He has never been remotely violent beyond biting my nipples sometimes. I was shocked that he'd want to wrestle with me coming off an illness and I'm even more concerned that this was the horniest I have ever seen him. The sex was amazing, but i don't like that I had to get knocked around first. But here is the issue. I told him that wrestling was fun sometimes, but that it kinda hurt at some points. Then he got upset and said it was just playing and that he hadn't been trying to do it purposefully. I let him know that I knew that, and he said something like "Maybe I should just go." And he got his clothes on and left. 😢

I know that he will cool down and that space is necessary now. What I don't know is how or why I set him off. Am I supposed to not tell him when he physically hurts me? I know he didn't do it on purpose, but it still was done. Also, is this part of the Scorpio repetoire with sex? An element of risk or violence? And I am wondering now - and this saddens me - if this whole wrestling thing was him "punishing" me for not being available to him while I was sick.

Sooo I guess in a nutshell, I am wondering if many Scorpios, particularly male, enjoy forceful and even violent sex, even with people they love?

But here is the issue. I told him that wrestling was fun sometimes, but that it kinda hurt at some points. Then he got upset and said it was just playing and that he hadn't been trying to do it purposefully. I let him know that I knew that, and he said something like "Maybe I should just go." And he got his clothes on and left.

He got embarrassed obviously. I would be a little humiliated too if my girl told me that after we just got done "wrestling" each other, and Scorpios don't like being Humiliated. You're pretty much in a lose/lose situation here. If you can't handle his sexual ways, you better go ahead and leave the relationship because he sure as hell ain't gonna change for anyone.




Sooo I guess in a nutshell, I am wondering if many Scorpios, particularly male, enjoy forceful and even violent sex, even with people they love?

Not me. My Sun, Mercury, Venus and Pluto are all in Scorpio and I don't really understand the whole "biting" and "pain" stuff. Maybe sometimes we can be a bit forceful, but only because we're so insanely horny and that's how we act at that point.

look at angryscorpio, trying to act like he isn't crazy

you're not fooling me, mister

AngryScorpio, I don't understand - how would be humiliated? He elbowed me in the face and it hurt. Why would telling him this embarass him? I know he didn't mean to do it, but I needed to time out after that and when he asked why, I told him. I like his sexuality, this is just a new wrinkle. I don't know, maybe I'd be more okay with it if I hadn't just gotten over flu or if he hadn't done a 180 from sweet and loving to pushing my face into the bed.


Thanks for your answer. Most of what I read mention that Scorpios view sex as sweet and loving and a way to connect with their partners.

Crab23, thanks for this. My rising and venus are in Pisces, so I do have a hard time setting boundaries. He has said he is the only person outside his mother that he has let see cry and that I know enough about him to "destroy him" if I wanted to. Why would I want to do that? It makes no sense to me. I know that underneath all the bluster and bravado is a man who cried at Pochontas, but it's like the more he lets me see that side of him, the more aggressive he has to act. In the wrestling, he even said "Yeah, I am in control, I have to be in control always." I mean, WTF?

He actually just called and said he woke up hard and missing me and asked me if I was still hurting from last night. He did not apologize, but he said "I love you" when he hung up the phone. He never says sorry for anything, I notice. I love him deeply and I know he loves me, too. I "get" him because of my Piscean influences, but my Virgo sun and Aries mercury are clashing.

Hmm, but GreatBull, do you differentiate between sex you have with a random girl and sex you'd have with your wife? Like I can't see a guy liking it rough wanting to marry a girl who will let him give it to her like that. Does that make any sense? Like the governor of New York - when that story came out, the hookers said he liked to do "weird" stuff. Obviously he wasn't into his wife doing that "weird" stuff because if he were, he wouldn't have had to go out and pay for it.

LOL, crab23, that's hot, actually. Hmm, now that you mention it, when he hit me, and I said "hey, that hurt," he said "ok, you can hit me back as hard as you want, my fault." And I said "no, I need a minute. This really hurts." Then that's when he started getting upset.

I mean with a girl you know you're not going to get serious with, not necessarily a hook up. Just a girl you're dating that you are having fun with but you don't see a real future with. Wouldn't you be more inclined to do crazy, rough sex with her than with the girl you'd plan on marrying?

Yup. That's wild hot sex with a Scorpio.

Vdeguadalupe: Am I supposed to not tell him when he physically hurts me?

Absolutely not! If it hurts, let him know. If he keeps hurting you, kick his sadistic ass to the curb!

Also, is this part of the Scorpio repetoire with sex? An element of risk or violence?

My younger brother is a Scorp, and so is my wife. My brother has told me enough stories of his sex romps to know that he's more into risk-taking than into giving or receiving pain. My wife also has a dangerous side. She loves it when this uptight Virgo loses control, and just feels & experiences the moment without analyzing it. But, like my brother, she's not into pain...

...if this whole wrestling thing was him "punishing" me for not being available to him while I was sick.

I don't think so. I think he was just extremely horny. I know when my wife is revved up, I'm just along for the ride. (Not complaining at all!)

If I were you, I'd tell him that you love his passion, and that he really turns you on, but you're not up for S&M. Playtime should be fun, and not require a hospital visit!!

One more thing: I think Scorpio perceives the passion potential of Virgo, and will push our buttons to tap into it...

You've known this guy for over a year, so you should be able to tell if this was an isolated thing, or if he really does have a sadistic streak...

scorpios officially disgust me.

Okay, Shaka, you're entitled to your opinion. But in my experience, Scorpio & Virgo complement each other perfectly - whether it's in the bedroom, or the Board Room. When it comes to lovemaking, each brings a different set of desires, attitudes, and style s that together result in some earth-shattering orgasms!