coolidge
@coolidge
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 155 · Topics: 16
should i let him know
I do not want to make him jealous. lol
I really concerned with ruining a chance in the future by not being honest, or making him think differently somehow.
I do not think going out of my way to let him know is the thing to do.
Since we have the same friends he will find out. So I guess if I do date to not tell anyone?
I really concerned with ruining a chance in the future by not being honest, or making him think differently somehow.
I do not think going out of my way to let him know is the thing to do.
Since we have the same friends he will find out. So I guess if I do date to not tell anyone?
OK I will.I am somewhat nervous this is going to lead to drama!
That is what I thought but he continued to ask me.out. that confused me. I am willing to except the truth. The mixed signals? I can't deal.
It's fairly pointless to lie to a Scorp if you have any intentions of ever having any kind of relationship at all. Basically he would find out before, during, or after that point; none of which is good. Lying is 'bad'. Lying raises hackles. Especially if it seems intentional. Trust is essential for any relationship, and especially with anyone of any sign that happens to have 'trust issues'. Scorp is... well-known... for its trust issues.
You are not a bad person to think of keeping a secret as a way to avoid hurting someone. This is not even a bad idea (some signs would actually prefer this). It's just that, the keeping-of-said-secret happens to be very hurtful to folks with enough Scorp influence. So, yeah, bad for Scorp.
But igniting the jealousy factor is bad too. For most signs, really.
If you really really want him, you wouldn't be thinking of anyone else (or the possibility of anyone else). But if you're thinking of someone else, you really are essentially free to be with whomever you please. He says he is not even wanting a relationship right now. You are a free person looking for someone to spend your time and energy with, and you deserve your own happiness too. The best thing is probably to ask him, point-blank but casually, BEFORE picking someone else, what he thinks of you two seeing other people. Or word it however you like, but keep it straight-forward. If he asks why, just remind him of what he told you. This puts the ball in his court to tell you what he wants out of your relationship, without any secrets, guilt, or jealousy. If he gets antsy, be calm, and give him time (even multiple days) to think it over.
You are not a bad person to think of keeping a secret as a way to avoid hurting someone. This is not even a bad idea (some signs would actually prefer this). It's just that, the keeping-of-said-secret happens to be very hurtful to folks with enough Scorp influence. So, yeah, bad for Scorp.
But igniting the jealousy factor is bad too. For most signs, really.
If you really really want him, you wouldn't be thinking of anyone else (or the possibility of anyone else). But if you're thinking of someone else, you really are essentially free to be with whomever you please. He says he is not even wanting a relationship right now. You are a free person looking for someone to spend your time and energy with, and you deserve your own happiness too. The best thing is probably to ask him, point-blank but casually, BEFORE picking someone else, what he thinks of you two seeing other people. Or word it however you like, but keep it straight-forward. If he asks why, just remind him of what he told you. This puts the ball in his court to tell you what he wants out of your relationship, without any secrets, guilt, or jealousy. If he gets antsy, be calm, and give him time (even multiple days) to think it over.
"Since we have the same friends he will find out. So I guess if I do date to not tell anyone?"
You have been given excellent advice here. I understand what you mean exactly. Either way, he will formulate an opinion based on how you behave regardless of what you do. Got it?
You have mutual friends so he is going to find out. Even if he doesn't find out from word of mouth, chances are you will see him while you're out on one of your dates!
So why not go out with whatever man you like and be honest about it if it comes up in conversation? Simple as that. Don't flaunt it, just go about your life.
I'm not sure what kind of scorp you're dealing with but if he does have romantic feelings for you he will be jealous. That's his own fault for dropping the ball.
Self-respect. Self-love. Problem solved.
You have been given excellent advice here. I understand what you mean exactly. Either way, he will formulate an opinion based on how you behave regardless of what you do. Got it?
You have mutual friends so he is going to find out. Even if he doesn't find out from word of mouth, chances are you will see him while you're out on one of your dates!
So why not go out with whatever man you like and be honest about it if it comes up in conversation? Simple as that. Don't flaunt it, just go about your life.
I'm not sure what kind of scorp you're dealing with but if he does have romantic feelings for you he will be jealous. That's his own fault for dropping the ball.
Self-respect. Self-love. Problem solved.
"That is what I thought but he continued to ask me.out."
To me, this means he likes her but doesn't like her enough or is just to lazy to put in the effort she deserves. Or perhaps the man really is too busy to get serious. That happens too.
What's his schedule like? Does he have children? Complications you are familiar with?
To me, this means he likes her but doesn't like her enough or is just to lazy to put in the effort she deserves. Or perhaps the man really is too busy to get serious. That happens too.
What's his schedule like? Does he have children? Complications you are familiar with?
He has continued to ask me out. I know he plays sports, coaches, and has elderly parents he is responsible for. His siblings don't help with them. No kids.
I guess I will Just play it cool. You are all very Kind to help me.
I guess I will Just play it cool. You are all very Kind to help me.
Posted by coolidge
He has continued to ask me out. I know he plays sports, coaches, and has elderly parents he is responsible for. His siblings don't help with them. No kids.
I guess I will Just play it cool. You are all very Kind to help me.
Awwww well, show up and help him out! Not super-intrusively of course, but casually. Even friends help friends with things that they do. It's spending time together. Just keeping company can even be 'helpful'. It'll 1) allow you both to get a snippet's view of what long-term life might be like together, and 2) oh, look, what do ya know... there IS time to be together and do chores too. ^_^ Not particularly romantic. But then, not all of life is.
Be being the cancer I am, tried all of that. He is very private and treated my offer with suspicion. He is very private.
Posted by coolidge
I read a woman should never let a
Scorpio man see her with another man. Is this true?
The thing is the Scorpio man I am interested in told me he is too busy to invest in a relationship. "A lot going on. Bad timing." I want to be with him but if this is his way out of dating me, then I shouldn't waste my time waiting.
If I choose to date other prospects should I keep it quiet? We have the same friends. I do not want to ruin the chance for the future.
Posted by coolidge
Be being the cancer I am, tried all of that. He is very private and treated my offer with suspicion. He is very private.click to expand
Ah okay, you are a Cancer. That explains it.
"A lot going on. Bad timing." Is code for not into you. Sorry. 😢
If you two were in a committed relationship then no, it would not be a good idea to let a guy see you dating other men. Regardless of sun sign.
But you don't have a romantic relationship with this guy.
Live your life and find the right guy for yourself.
You can date whomever you want and you don't owe him any explanations nor notes of excuses as to why you are dating other men.
Would he do that for you? No.
You being the Crab and having feelings for him, have already attached some loyalty and don't want to hurt him nor mess up a potential relationship.
If he is inclined to decide he is the best fit for you then let him court you and prove he is the man for the job.
My personal opinion is that men need to see women are desired by other men, gives them a reality check.
A healthy does of competition is a good thing. 😉
When dating do whatever is consistent to your personality, discreet dating or flaunting.
Up to you. Happy dating. 🙂
this poster if a conversation about this took place. You know, communicating to one another (prior to coming to the conclusion of dating someone else) if they spoke about seeing other people. So I will ask..
DID YOU HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH THE SCORPIO ABOUT SEEING OTHER PEOPLE?
Then I look at what the poster shared and bolded:
Posted by coolidge
The thing is the Scorpio man I am interested in told me he is too busy to invest in a relationship. "A lot going on. Bad timing." I want to be with him but if this is his way out of dating me, then I shouldn't waste my time waiting.
If I choose to date other prospects should I keep it quiet? We have the same friends. I do not want to ruin the chance for the future.
Posted by coolidge
I am somewhat nervous this is going to lead to drama!
Posted by coolidge
That is what I thought but he continued to ask me.out. that confused me. I am willing to except the truth. The mixed signals? I can't deal.click to expand
He was honest enough and had the respect to tell you directly he has a lot of stuff going on for a full relationship, yet he's still asking you out on dates when he can. It seems to me you are pissed off that it's not enough, yet don't have the balls to return the respect and have a conversation with him BEFORE you start strutting around with another guy. Hence your comment that your "nervous" because it will lead to drama. Whats so horrible about sitting down with him and asking him? Why play games? There won't be a future with him if you do what you are planning due to a lack of respect for him and telling him FIRST. So you might wanna rethink this.
Posted by aquavita
i think in this case is good to challenge the busy man to give more time, even so by sparking his jealousy, i think it s good, so that he realizes he may lose the woman. it might be good to mention, i d rather go out with you but if you are not available... i will be dating others.
Don't date a Scorpio man.
Where's rabbit? smh
Wait, wait, Wait!!!
I do want to be with him. Let us all get clear about that.
Is words did not match his actions in my perspective. That is why I brought it to you.
If he wants to be with me but is really busy I can handle that. I like freedom to get my own stuff done.
I did not want to put my life on hold if he did want me but just wanted friendship or something. It is hard to see clearly when I like someone so I needed you to help.
I will not allow other men to date me if he wants to be with me. I will help him and wait.
I really really like him and consider him husband material.
I plan on calling him tonight and telling him all of this.
I do want to be with him. Let us all get clear about that.
Is words did not match his actions in my perspective. That is why I brought it to you.
If he wants to be with me but is really busy I can handle that. I like freedom to get my own stuff done.
I did not want to put my life on hold if he did want me but just wanted friendship or something. It is hard to see clearly when I like someone so I needed you to help.
I will not allow other men to date me if he wants to be with me. I will help him and wait.
I really really like him and consider him husband material.
I plan on calling him tonight and telling him all of this.
Posted by coolidge
I really really like him and consider him husband material.
I plan on calling him tonight and telling him all of this.
Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu no no no. No.
That might stroke some guy's egos but it'll stir up a Scorp's paranoia pot. Especially since you mentioned he's "very private", it doesn't seem he's lacking in this area. You guys haven't even technically dated yet. He'll spook. It's honest, and honesty is good, but it's also honestly really too fast.
Unless you're meaning to tell him about the needing to know if he just wants friendship or really wants to date. That part's okay. 😄
And if you're really okay with dating in the more casual side of life, such as outside of movies and dinners and other but-it-takes-extra-time scenarios... be sure that you *really* are before saying so... feel free to bring that up. Forever cannot be determined from the beginning, but forever is the end-goal, and forever does include these less-exciting sort of things. Being able to enjoy someone's company even while doing things you normally don't enjoy, is a sign of a really good relationship.
Posted by coolidge
I read a woman should never let a
Scorpio man see her with another man. Is this true?
The thing is the Scorpio man I am interested in told me he is too busy to invest in a relationship. "A lot going on. Bad timing." I want to be with him but if this is his way out of dating me, then I shouldn't waste my time waiting.
If I choose to date other prospects should I keep it quiet? We have the same friends. I do not want to ruin the chance for the future.
Why would he care who you date?
If he did, he would be dating you himself.
I think this only applies to women who are actually dating a Scorp.. or any fixed sign for that matter.
Except Aquarius, maybe.
I feel bad for the guy you're planning on tiptoeing around with, just so this Scorp "doesn't find out."
I just can't IMAGINE why you would cater to someone who told you that he doesn't have time for you.
Posted by coolidge
OK I will.I am somewhat nervous this is going to lead to drama!
He has continued to ask me out. I know he plays sports, coaches, and has elderly parents he is responsible for. His siblings don't help with them. No kids.
I guess I will Just play it cool. You are all very Kind to help me.
Oh.
You *are* dating.
And just to be clear, you want to know...
Posted by coolidge
If I choose to date other prospects should I keep it quiet?click to expand
Absolutely.
I'm sure he would understand why you wanted to keep it a big, fat secret.
Doesn't matter *what* sign you're dating-- what you're talking about doing is manipulation at best.
Hard to believe that common courtesy is so uncommon, anymore.
Posted by LetltB
Noone asked this poster if a conversation about this took place. You know, communicating to one another (prior to coming to the conclusion of dating someone else) if they spoke about seeing other people. So I will ask..
DID YOU HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH THE SCORPIO ABOUT SEEING OTHER PEOPLE?
Then I look at what the poster shared and bolded:
Posted by coolidge
The thing is the Scorpio man I am interested in told me he is too busy to invest in a relationship. "A lot going on. Bad timing." I want to be with him but if this is his way out of dating me, then I shouldn't waste my time waiting.
If I choose to date other prospects should I keep it quiet? We have the same friends. I do not want to ruin the chance for the future.
Posted by coolidge
I am somewhat nervous this is going to lead to drama!
Posted by coolidge
That is what I thought but he continued to ask me.out. that confused me. I am willing to except the truth. The mixed signals? I can't deal.
He was honest enough and had the respect to tell you directly he has a lot of stuff going on for a full relationship, yet he's still asking you out on dates when he can. It seems to me you are pissed off that it's not enough, yet don't have the balls to return the respect and have a conversation with him BEFORE you start strutting around with another guy. Hence your comment that your "nervous" because it will lead to drama. Whats so horrible about sitting down with him and asking him? Why play games? There won't be a future with him if you do what you are planning due to a lack of respect for him and telling him FIRST. So you might wanna rethink this.click to expand
I'm glad you put these together because I didn't get past the OP.
I honestly think that she should just date this guy and date others as well.
She wants a full relationship but he doesn't right now so she should keep looking.
However, if she wants to continue dating this guy because she like him I see nothing wrong with it.
I didn't get a chance to. I feel asleep before he called.
Why doesn't anyone understand what I'm asking? I'm not trying to lie. I'm wondering in it is appropriate for me to walk Up and say hey! By the way I'm dating other people!
because if I do that he will think I'm trying to make him jealous. If I don't he will think I was lying. NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE DILEMMA?
Why doesn't anyone understand what I'm asking? I'm not trying to lie. I'm wondering in it is appropriate for me to walk Up and say hey! By the way I'm dating other people!
because if I do that he will think I'm trying to make him jealous. If I don't he will think I was lying. NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE DILEMMA?
Posted by coolidge
I didn't get a chance to. I feel asleep before he called.
Why doesn't anyone understand what I'm asking? I'm not trying to lie. I'm wondering in it is appropriate for me to walk Up and say hey! By the way I'm dating other people!
because if I do that he will think I'm trying to make him jealous. If I don't he will think I was lying. NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE DILEMMA?
I don't get your dilemma at all because I don't make men who don't pursue me a priority.
Plus I see how many men are, they will act unattached and available but secretly have a girlfriend, wife or several affairs going. I keep whatever I do to myself and unless they ask I let them figure it out.
I think given the advice and you are still stumped, this is a situation where you need to gain some experience.
Do what your gut tells you to do.
Good luck.
Check my priorities. Thanks will do!
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If I choose to date other prospects should I keep it quiet? We have the same friends. I do not want to ruin the chance for the future.