Am I Tripping or Trying Too Hard

Hey good people.
I have been lurking this site for a while trying to find answers. I hope I find it. Im an Aries woman 4/18 and I'm dating a taurus man 4/24 and I love him ALOT. We have been dating for a year. We have had a few issues (I'm a little jealous but not as much as a typical aries and I didn't like the fact that my taurus kept a bunch or women pics on his laptop and in his phone and would ooze over FB pages of porn stars and such, but he actually got rid of the FB mess and the pics and is more respectful with the exception of an occasional compliment to a pretty woman) but I have been doing a god job getting over that. Now I'm to the point to where I think he may be losing interest (or it might be me)or getting bored. It seems like he's "comfortable." We even had a conversation and he said "I have you now so..." which tells me he feels as though he doesn't have to be how he was when we first met. Heck...I have yet to experience this slow passionate love making I hear Taurus men give. Not to be TMI but my guy goes IN. Nothing is slow..he pile drives. Don't get me wrong, he does things for me, fusses at me when I don't ask him before doing something (I don't understand that one because I'm grown and independent), Ive met family, he claims me, I don't think he is cheating on me (I've seen him converse with women and actually shoot them down or tell them he has a woman, and he claims me publicly), and of course he tells me he loves me, but I don't know what to do to get him out of this "comfortable stage."
I know this was a babbling post and for that I do apologize, but I'm just nervous Ill become boring or routine, and that he will soon just stay with me because I'm familiar territory. I know I'm an Aries, but I'm not the type of woman to always go out or be loud and social bugish'. Im actually very reserved, quiet, organized, more serious then jokey, and working on my degrees. He is a social bug, jokes a bit more then he is serious, a gentleman, very helpful, still trying to get on his feet, and simply melts my heart.
So yea...I say all this to say, how would an Aries lady like me reverse this relationship tone that has been set? I want my guy to fall in love with me all over again, and work to keep me. Im getting rather uneasy about this feeling of "either he's bored with me or I'm losing him to someone else" feeling.

Thank you, guys.

Jeez...

Just when you get a story of things going nicely between two people the woman has to come on in and complain about it!

Pfffft...

Can't anyone just be happy anymore!

What's wrong with being 'comfortable'?

May I draw your attention to the vast majority of people out there of both sexes (and anyone inbetween) who aren't as attentive, faithful, affectionate, drool over others, lie they don't have a partner, and generally are just not of good calibre...

Posted by AgentP911
Jeez...

Just when you get a story of things going nicely between two people the woman has to come on in and complain about it!

Pfffft...

Can't anyone just be happy anymore!

What's wrong with being 'comfortable'?

May I draw your attention to the vast majority of people out there of both sexes (and anyone inbetween) who aren't as attentive, faithful, affectionate, drool over others, lie they don't have a partner, and generally are just not of good calibre...

OK..wow. I apologize if you took my inquiry as a rant, the wrong way, or complaint. Nothing is wrong with being "comfortable," but when your being comfortable comes of as not being who you were when you were beginning and in the "interview" phase, it doesn't feel very good. Im the same woman I was when he met me; I haven't changed. I believe a woman/man needs to retain their mate the same way they got them. If I started off showing that I was the kind of woman that cooked meals , washed, cleaned your clothes, and kept your house clean in the beginning, and after we became exclusive, I stopped doing those things because I already reeled you in so I felt there wasn't a need to "woo" you anymore, it wouldn't be a surprise if a person would feel as if their mate is slacking, or BS'd about who they were to get what he or she wanted.
I don't want my guy to feel as though I'm not worth him being how he was when I met him because he is worth getting the woman he claims to love the way he meme and after I enhance myself to be even better.

Is that too much to ask for?

Your looking for some more passion from him that you were probably being happily drowned in during the courtship.

"How you got me, is how you keep me."

I dont think youre being unreasonable. I subscribe to this as well.

Comfort stage with a Taurus man is heaven...

Maybe you could take the initiate and introduce some passionate things into the relationship. whips, sleezy lingerie, FOOD during sex.

It was meant in a joking way not a personal way so don't take any offence as none was intended.

I just thought it was amusing that someone was complaining their relationship was going well. Usually the folks on here complain when it's all going shit! :-)

I do understand what you mean though. It can be easy for that 'fire' to burn a little lower after a while and often people forget relstionships require work like everything else does.

I agree with DMV that you might need to take the initiative here as you're the one who feels the comfort zone has kicked in. He might not feel that from his end.

I'd be mindful of his 'ego' though. He probably doesn't want to hear he's not doing a good job in making you happy.

Thank you guys for the advice. This is the first Taurus I've dated, and to be honest, my first REAL relationship. Ive come across so real jerks in my life and he is really a good guy. He has told me this is his first REAL relationship as well, and I believe him because his family (those distant and near) cosign and have told me he has never brought a lady to meet them ever. I know relationships take work from both parties, and its definitely a learning process where you will learn not only about the other person as you grow, but your self as well.

DMV: Yes...that is correct. I believe in the "how you get me is how you keep me" motto, at minimum. If your true colors consists of you being a broke slob, but you acted as if you had your act together and were clean just to get me, I would want to converse about why you lied, work on ways to better yourself (maybe a better job and taking better care of your self by practicing better hygiene), and look deeper into myself to see what I could do to give him more comfort so he won't have to feel like he has to lie about something to someone to get what he wants. As far as introducing passionate things into the relationship, Ive never thought about food during sex, sleezy lingerie, or the kinky toys. I mean I do have toys for me that I said I wanted play with, and mentioned some for him, but he doesn't give me the vibe that he really wants to step into that area. I love sex (and a lot of it), more then he does lol.

Eris: I don't think I understand what you mean when you say "Comfort stage with a Taurus man is heaven..." Would you mind elaborating a little bit?

Posted by AgentP911
It was meant in a joking way not a personal way so don't take any offence as none was intended.

I just thought it was amusing that someone was complaining their relationship was going well. Usually the folks on here complain when it's all going shit! :-)

I do understand what you mean though. It can be easy for that 'fire' to burn a little lower after a while and often people forget relstionships require work like everything else does.

I agree with DMV that you might need to take the initiative here as you're the one who feels the comfort zone has kicked in. He might not feel that from his end.

I'd be mindful of his 'ego' though. He probably doesn't want to hear he's not doing a good job in making you happy.

Oh! OK! I apologize, I thought you were serious. I will be mindful of the ego. I initiated that I wanted to "converse about a few things" and omg he went into how he's the same guy he was and that he adores my kids and loves me, and apologized for saying anything wrong. Maybe he really does think everything is OK.
You guys are good people for sharing your honest opinions with total strangers looking for help.

Thank you all, sincerely!

For the love of Tim Berners-Lee space your paragraphs! What you think this is AOL!?

Posted by AnomalousBull
For the love of Tim Berners-Lee space your paragraphs! What you think this is AOL!?

Everyone else read my words just fine. No offense but if its too long to read, you don't have to read it, and you can enjoy the other posts that are shorter. Thanks and have a great day 🙂

Lol he's a guy. If it ain't broke then don't fix it!

It might be helpful in that case then to see if any guys respond here with how to best discuss this subject or you can put the topic in another section of the forum, maybe the relationship bit, to ask specifically how and what to say to him.

As women, when we talk to each other we generally get it but guys interpret it entiry differently, and vice versa.

Look up the 'men are from Mars, women are from Venus' concept. Might be helpful.

Posted by QueenKoa

Posted by AnomalousBull
For the love of Tim Berners-Lee space your paragraphs! What you think this is AOL!?

Everyone else read my words just fine. No offense but if its too long to read, you don't have to read it, and you can enjoy the other posts that are shorter. Thanks and have a great day 🙂

click to expand

Ill do that. Thank you!

Posted by QueenKoa

Posted by AnomalousBull
For the love of Tim Berners-Lee space your paragraphs! What you think this is AOL!?

Everyone else read my words just fine. No offense but if its too long to read, you don't have to read it, and you can enjoy the other posts that are shorter. Thanks and have a great day 🙂

click to expand

Yeah... You know the bit about where I said waiting for a guy to come along to assist with how to maybe discuss this subject...

Well he just appeared.

And you might have just pissed him off!

😉

Ps: I did have to re-read three times so a few more spaces might be helpful. We are all lovely people though! 😄

Well...thats just too bad. Im sorry but I believe in being respectful to others, and if it bothered him that my paragraphs were long (and I think i did apologize for babbling or ranting), he could have been nicer about it ( just like you were 🙂 )and not come off insulting with the AOL reference.

For future posts, I will gladly shorten and space to make reading easier for others. Thank you for letting me know.

"Eris: I don't think I understand what you mean when you say "Comfort stage with a Taurus man is heaven..." Would you mind elaborating a little bit?"

Things are calm and comfortable with my Bull. He's predictable and it's wonderful. Maybe not being an Aries has me enjoying the comfort stage more than you? Lol Not sure how to elaborate further on this... It's just something I enjoy. Maybe my Pisces Moon is talking lol

I'll read your post again to see if I can come up with more.

Good point ^^^ maybe don't say anything right now to rock the boat. He clearly shit himself when you said about having a talk!

Posted by QueenKoa
As far as introducing passionate things into the relationship, Ive never thought about food during sex, sleezy lingerie, or the kinky toys. I mean I do have toys for me that I said I wanted play with, and mentioned some for him, but he doesn't give me the vibe that he really wants to step into that area. I love sex (and a lot of it), more then he does lol.

i used to casually see a taurus with venus in aries, moon, and mercury.

he was very hedonistic. and i used to make sundaes on top of his.....

taurus love food. Kandi on RHOA, girl stay eating. Kandi also loves sex. whats better? sex with food. go don that whipped cream bikini.

i think it is unreasonable for your relationship to remain the same as it was in the beginning. relationships evolve. you become comfortable. you relax into it.

beginnings are great. they are exciting and a whirlwind but they are also arguably the most dishonest phase of a relationship. no one can sustain the front that we all adopt when trying to attract a mate. it's only our good side. it's the side we think the object of our affection wants to see.

it's just not possible to keep that up and if you expect it to be rose petals and serenading every day then you are setting yourself up to be very disappointed regardless of sign.

Posted by AriesLady8
He is on the cusp of Aries and Taurus. Might have some Aries placements. That could be why he "pile drives" you. Show him what you like. As adults we can't be afraid to speak about these things while in relationships. It is apart of intimacy, connecting, and growing together plus it can be fun. And who wants to go through life getting pile-drived?

Oh really? I thought I was pushing up on the cusp too. I'm still earning that stuff. Your right tho, I have to speak up which is something I don't do enough.

All of you are so helpful. I'm bet appreciative.