Confused Virgo man..

k I'm new to this but I obviously need some help to clear my mind. I??ll try to keep this as short as possible.
I??ve met this Taurus girl about 2 year ago and dated for a couple of weeks but it didn't click for both of us back then despite how easy we understood each other and all the things we had in common. So no problem. I??ve moved on, so does she but we remained friends (without seeing each other) talking on the phone, texting etc. Few months after I needed to be in Europe for a couple of weeks and I ask her to water my plants ( a have a whole bunch) while I was gone, since her apartment is a block away from mine, and she said yes. After I came back I went to her apartment to pick up my keys & thank her (I also got her a small gift) And she started telling me how much she misses me and we needed to see each other more.. so fine??_ we started going out again — nice restaurants, movies etc. we went for a coffee one morning a couple of weeks later and she told me that she likes me but there is something inside her that stop??s her from moving this to a real relationship. Fine again! Again we moved on with our lives but every now and then we??ll send a text to see how the other one is doing, she's got a boyfriend, I??ve got random dates — most just for **** after clubbing. Being a Virgo I hardly like woman for more than that actually almost never. I'm not a player! But I have needs right? Girls do approach me all the time but I never care to call them back for some reason. And here is the last part of my little story. It has been months since the last time I received a text or call from this girl (normal as she was with someone) but about a month ago we started texting again and her texts were —I miss talking to you, I??ve missed you..?? etc. And we decided to go out together and catch up??_ so far so good. I didn't know that she recently broke up with her boyfriend, she started comparing me to him, how I always look her in the eyesyou make me , that I actually listen to what she says, you get me, smile??_things like that. Again we started going out - walks in the park, restaurants, movies.. her birthday last month she decided to spend with me only! Despite all the friends she has. One of the best nights of my life??_ we haven't had **** yet but the look in her eyes and her worm kisses melted me. I call her a taxi give her cash to take her home as it was late — she just kissed me and told me —you are amazing?? and kissed m

kissed me again and again.. before she left. I??ve met her whit my friends already and she seem to get along with them just fine. She shared all her deepest secrets with me and she told me that she does not tell these things to anyone. And we just can talk about anything??_ lol by now you know how I feel about her and I told her that. We continued going out and have fun together but there was that stopper again.. she told me that it's too soon, she needed space & time and she's not ready... This time I did fell for her. I told her that I??ll not force her into anything to we stopped seeing each other, texting yes but that's it.. She doesn't want to see me right now... I think I already know what is going on but I just needed to share this with someone. Thank you all for reading. Let me know what you think of this? I really appreciate all your comments. Cheers!

Hahah thank you 25th Decan! I like that both scenarios involved sleeping with her over and over again. Don't think I can do the second one with her, I've done that to girls that I don't have feelings for.. not the case here. I'll go with the first but the thing is that she's not letting me there yet and I'm trying to figure out why? I can tell that your strategy will work but how to get there?? Thanks one more time for the answer.

Posted by 25thDecan
Lots of experience with the bullettes here. In this case she KNOWS you don't actually feel other women and keep it at what's desired and mutually bounce. So...here's the skinny:
Scenario 1(non douchebag): this time, you get back in touch with her. Same cycle as usual..magnetic attraction, outings, etc...then you kiss her. Sleep with her. Morning after, tell her she's your gf. Even IF hse protests or says some other chickie pie bs.

That's not a gf. That's a hostage.

Oh but you see, a *hostage* is what we want. We want to make sure the receiver of our tender ministrations knows full and well the import of it. A Bull does not atypically throw down with no strings attached. We enjoy our strings, every damned one of 'em. You enter the inner sanctum you best believe it's because we have every intention of keeping and holding. Not to mention some damned fine pancakes in the morning.

Goooood heifer cow. Gooood.

Posted by 25thDecan
^complete misinterpretation

It was a joke. It's really not that serious.

VB - Really good pancakes might be worth it. Like the kind at Cracker Barrel.

Giving me ideas ....😉 im liking option one..just sayin'

LOLOLOL Joo crazy wimmens. 🙂

OK, I'll do that this weekend and will report back haha. I am damn good cook and I love doing it. So pancakes in the morning it is Thank you all. If anyone have something to add or suggest? I'd love to read your opinions.. One more thing is that I got her the shoes she always wanted but couldn't afford, it cost me an arm & lag to get them and damn I've never spend that much for shoes. I can't believe I did this but.. Damn I can't get her out of my mind.

awwww 🙂

be yourself. obviously you've been doing everything right so far. remember your strengths. taurus & virgo are a strong pair.

Posted by HatchetHarry
OK, I'll do that this weekend and will report back haha. I am damn good cook and I love doing it. So pancakes in the morning it is Thank you all. If anyone have something to add or suggest? I'd love to read your opinions.. One more thing is that I got her the shoes she always wanted but couldn't afford, it cost me an arm & lag to get them and damn I've never spend that much for shoes. I can't believe I did this but.. Damn I can't get her out of my mind.

Shoes...Did someone say shoes? Expensive shoes? Shoes that one could not afford on their own? Shoes and pancakes ?? Now that's what I'm talking BOUT. You're a keeper HH. Wishing you well.

i had a similar situation with my virgo bff and for the life of me could not...and still can't figure out why i had no romantic feelings for the guy. he was my best friend. i could be vulnerable with him. we were inseparable in so many ways and yet, i could not regard him as anything but a friend. i literally had no desires for him when it came to love...love outside of friendship that is.

i dated another virgo who was genuinely a nice guy. he was really sweet and attentive. i enjoyed spending time with him and yet, same issue i had with my bff. i didn't lust for him.

in both instances, the dudes were like a pair of old shoes. i keep them around because they're comfortable and go with everything and as much as i love them, when i put them on, i don't exactly feel special.

what's her venus sign? given mine is in aries, i think what i lacked from the virgo males is passion. my taurean sun was satisfied, but my venus was bored. i'm not saying that this would have worked on me in the above situations, but a little bit of passion goes a long way.

what is passion for venus in aries? essentially, fighting. not real fights, but a healthy bit of tension is needed for me to truly feel IN love. when i was with the virgos, there was no need to fight. we agreed on everything. we had the same senses of humor. i was never bored and where that should of been satisfying, that should have been what one strives for in a relationship, it wasn't enough. they might as well have been chicks because i was just not that into them.

my point is, i think the tau-f/vir-m relationship is very satisfying on a friendship level, but sometimes more is needed beyond the obvious connection. so i'd suggest finding out what her venus is and what that sign needs. once you know that, ask yourself if you've fulfilled her venus and if not, that MAY be why she's running hot and cold.

Posted by robyn808

Acute Observation: Your many indiscretions, leaves her feel uneasy about trusting you. She doesn't want to put her heart on the line until she certain you wont disappoint her. Afraid your one night habit's with other women will be hard to break.

good point.

that was my other issue with my bff. even IF i considered having feelings for him, i couldn't have feelings for him. he's a whore. IF he wanted me, i felt he wanted me simply because he couldn't have me...simply because he knew that i didn't fully desire him and that was a rarity for him. for the longest time i felt that he was just trying to get in my pants. surely he'd stop coming around. but then after a couple years of his still coming around, i began to wonder why the hell is he coming around? he has to be using me...he uses everyone, so what is he using me for? friendship? can a person be used for friendship? wait, i was using him for friendship and if that's the case, were we being mutually "used?"

eh...point is, if she knows that you've moved on so quickly, that you are sewing your oats while she's looking for something stable and permanent, how can she regard you as someone that she can have something substantial with?

in addition to looking to her venus, you might want to reconsider how quickly/easily you accept her rejection. the notion that you're able to move on after she calls it quits is indeed a problem. if you cared about her, if you truly desired her, if you truly wanted her to give a relationship with you a chance, you'd demand/command it. you wouldn't accept her no so passively because if you loved her so much and if you believe she loves you, "no" wouldn't be an option...for either of you.

so yup, that's the other issue with virgo. you tell them no and instead of showing you their passion, they contain it. f'ing weirdos.

First I want to thank you all for your comments and I've learned quite a lot! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! No time to waste! I've called her today and I said that I need to see her. She is free tomorrow so I'll take her to one of the best restaurants in the city.. lay it all out. This is true that I shouldn't have taken her NO in the past so passively. But this is now! And I'll make this work as I'm the one to decide what happens now...

Decan, thank you for the hint, I'll make sure she'll have the best chocolate cake on the menu 🙂 I will listen to you and I'm very thankful for your effort to help me.

Robin, I think your observations hit the jackpot! I can't believe that I've missed all the hints from her on that-she would always tell me if any girl is looking at me or ask what was I doing last night with my friends...

Caligula, I really don't know her Venus sign sorry but it was interesting to read your personal experience on the same situation! I've learn a lot from you posts and see some of the things I did wrong. Greatly appreciated.

Doubletrouble & Nala - Thank you for the nice words & encouragement!

Well as I said! The time is now! I'll let you know what happen.

Her Venus in Taurus

Double dipped. Welcome to not only cautious but uber cautious. Good luck Virgo!

Did not worked as planned. 🙂 Just friends and blah-blah-blah. That feeling in her gut won't change according to her. She even got upset thinking that I don't get was she was saying... well I did! I didn't take it as bad as I was thinking. May be that's yet to come dunno but I can't be her friend anymore! And run like a puppy after her when she feels like it. Not going to happen! I do have feelings for her but I also feel like I'm wasting my time and I'm being used. No thanks! I think I've made a big mistake here. I've been nothing but true and real with her. I was really thinking that she is different but... No! I guess I'm just disappointed! Big time. Thank you all. Let me see your opinions?

So you fed the bull and bought her expensive shoes and all you got was a tread on DXPnet. Did she tell you she thought of you as just a friend when you were doing all those things? Somehow you missed some red flags. Well the positive side to this is that you are much wiser. I hope you are not jaded and will continue to seek a better partner.

Posted by LunarMaiden
So you fed the bull and bought her expensive shoes and all you got was a tread on DXPnet. Did she tell you she thought of you as just a friend when you were doing all those things? Somehow you missed some red flags. Well the positive side to this is that you are much wiser. I hope you are not jaded and will continue to seek a better partner.

I reread the story and find it odd that they continued to go out on dates and even kissed a few times. That's not "friend" behavior either, but who knows her reasons for sticking with her "gut."

I do think its a good idea OP that you got it out and know what the situation is, or at least what she feels. I don't know. I actually think she likes you a lot more than she's letting on, and her "gut" could be insecurities. A lot of things she did are things you don't do with your friends. Anyway, staying away is probably best. I wish you luck and like LunarMaiden, I definitely hope you don't become jaded.

Posted by lnana04

Posted by LunarMaiden
So you fed the bull and bought her expensive shoes and all you got was a tread on DXPnet. Did she tell you she thought of you as just a friend when you were doing all those things? Somehow you missed some red flags. Well the positive side to this is that you are much wiser. I hope you are not jaded and will continue to seek a better partner.

I reread the story and find it odd that they continued to go out on dates and even kissed a few times. That's not "friend" behavior either, but who knows her reasons for sticking with her "gut."

I do think its a good idea OP that you got it out and know what the situation is, or at least what she feels. I don't know. I actually think she likes you a lot more than she's letting on, and her "gut" could be insecurities. A lot of things she did are things you don't do with your friends. Anyway, staying away is probably best. I wish you luck and like LunarMaiden, I definitely hope you don't become jaded.

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I think she was just going along for the ride. He was offering and she was taking. I think she may have had some attraction and still do, but not enough for a full fledged partnership.

Here is the lesson for men. Men can carry on a sexual relationship with a woman and not be in love nor have any plans to include her in his future, while she thinks they are a couple; they aren't. Women can except dates, expensive gifts, trips, romantic gestures and still not muster up feelings above friendship and sex is out of the question. Unless she is lonely, drunk and horny she may throw him some poon. He's falling in love and thinks they are heading toward a relationship, they aren't!

Thank you all! I've deleted her phone, email, FB right after we met.. I don't want her in my life anymore... If she drunk text or call me I really wouldn't know who might that be. I can't let her set up rules on me and tell me what she wants from me! May be I have missed red flags or may be I haven't. I never give her the shoes nor she knows I did that for her. I know now it was a big mistake and I'm disappointed... and when I get disappointed in someone - it's almost nothing you can do to regain my trust! It's over and I don't regret anything I've done. I did feel like a doormat - you were all correct on that! But I wasn't mad at her - I was mad at me! I don't think she's bad person... I just don't care anymore. I will not treat her like trash, I will simply remove her from my life completely. Friends huh? Hell no! I put a lot of meaning to the word Friends! Girlfriends come and go - friends are always there, ALWAYS! It was clear for me now, that she felt lonely after her break up and she was looking for someone to comfort her and put her back on her feet! And I was there for her! well not anymore! She was afraid of losing me as friend, she told me so, but that just happened! Good bye! I hope you have a nice live! I really mean that.. but stay away from me. I have learned another lesson that's why I'm not looking back with anger to the situation. It's amazing for me to see how Decan and myself think alike.. hahah it's like he knows exactly how i feel and what I am about to do. We come from the same tribe hahah! All you guys made this really easy for me with all your comments and I'm really thankful for your inputs. I feel a lot better without all the pressure on me. I'm ready to face the new day! It summer right! hahah 🙂

Posted by HatchetHarry
Thank you all! I've deleted her phone, email, FB right after we met.. I don't want her in my life anymore... If she drunk text or call me I really wouldn't know who might that be. I can't let her set up rules on me and tell me what she wants from me! May be I have missed red flags or may be I haven't. I never give her the shoes nor she knows I did that for her. I know now it was a big mistake and I'm disappointed... and when I get disappointed in someone - it's almost nothing you can do to regain my trust! It's over and I don't regret anything I've done. I did feel like a doormat - you were all correct on that! But I wasn't mad at her - I was mad at me! I don't think she's bad person... I just don't care anymore. I will not treat her like trash, I will simply remove her from my life completely. Friends huh? Hell no! I put a lot of meaning to the word Friends! Girlfriends come and go - friends are always there, ALWAYS! It was clear for me now, that she felt lonely after her break up and she was looking for someone to comfort her and put her back on her feet! And I was there for her! well not anymore! She was afraid of losing me as friend, she told me so, but that just happened! Good bye! I hope you have a nice live! I really mean that.. but stay away from me. I have learned another lesson that's why I'm not looking back with anger to the situation. It's amazing for me to see how Decan and myself think alike.. hahah it's like he knows exactly how i feel and what I am about to do. We come from the same tribe hahah! All you guys made this really easy for me with all your comments and I'm really thankful for your inputs. I feel a lot better without all the pressure on me. I'm ready to face the new day! It summer right! hahah 🙂

I love virgo swag. lolol good for you Hatchet, don't let her creep back. you'll find bliss elsewhere.

Posted by Let*It*Be
"I don't want her in my life anymore... "


That's a shame it came to this. The part that's going to sting for a bit is losing the friendship. Chaulk this up to experience and being able to recognize the difference between friendship/relationship, and when unsure ASK DIRECTLY. No question is ever stupid and knowledge is power. Good luck to you! 😉

I couldn't agree more. It is a shame the way the story ended and I don't feel great about it. But I just don't see any other way out..

I love virgo swag. lolol good for you Hatchet, don't let her creep back. you'll find bliss elsewhere.

Thank you for the encouragement! I guess once we make a decision on something we pull the hatchet and cut all the unwanted strings attached. 🙂 I only speak for myself but I've seen that in other Virgos too. I'll miss her but it's better that way.