Dear Diary: I blew up on my Taurus.

Last night we were laying in bed and my Taurus was opening up.

I THINK that my Taurus was really effected by his parents divorce a few years ago.

it is something he has opened up about a lot thru out our relationship but only in bits in pieces to what I believe.

he opened up and was pretty much walking him self thru his thoughts. I recognized that but at the same time Im a fire and I philosopher or so iv always been told. I also was feeling a lot of his pain thru his words about how he wishes he was closer with his family and how the divorce really separated them all.

his brother is also leaving to move to china with his wife in the next couple months and I think he is really sad about that too.

he doesn't talk about these things a lot. and when he does they are scattered and hard to understand because I feel they can by really messy...

"I love my family, I wish we were closer, why do I have to be the one to reach out and make that happen"

to

when his brother invites us places he bails on the plans, his dad invites us to dinner all the time and he passes or even bails last minute. he doesn't call them very often that I know of. it seams to me that they try really hard to be closer to him and he is too lazy to make the effort, like it or not.

but I try not to say that to him because in the past I did, and you guys set me straight that its not my place. and for a really long time I have bite my lip and kept my mouth shut and just tried to listen to him when he does open up. WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN BY MUCH.

so last night he opened up.

and all I heard what "my family is seperated, we aren't close, I love them, I want to be close, I wish we were close, why should I be the one to make that happen" and I it drove me crazy inside.

IF SOMETHING IS NOT WHAT YOU LIKE, CHANGE IT. THERE IS ALWAYS A SOLUTION. STRIVE FOR THE THINGS THAT GIVE YOU VALUE. MAKE THE EFFORT.

that is how I live. so I said " your family are all really wonderful people, my relationship with my family is terrible but I try to have a relationship even tho it never works I still try" the he got made at me like I was saying "BOO HOO for him"

he cut me off and all I wanted to say is that he had good people as family and he should nourish that. but he snapped at me in such a rude way that I lost it. i said loudly back to him " YOUR SO HARD TO TALK TO, JESUS" and i rolled over.

he then said i wasn't done talking about. and i said how can i talk to you if you don't even want me to speak. you snap at everything i say because it offends you as if my intentions are to be rude, or to mean. i don't know if he realizes that his tone and verbiage is harsh and i take it really personal because i cant help it.

im deep person, i want to connect with him deeper so badly, and i know that's not easy for him or us in general. and it hurts when i feel as if he doesn't trust my words, or takes offense to what i say as if i mean something hurtful, or that my thoughts just don't matter to him..

don't tell me im crazy. try to understand me as a different type of person from all you bulls

but let me know what you think.

i cried so hard in front of him i just burst so much sadness.

i told him that we just don't know how to talk to eachother. and its hard because its what i need.

im really sad because i know if we don't figure this out it will be why we don't work out.

everything always comes down to communication.

Wow, he sounds so much like my bull, but since I'm a bull too I guess I can handle it better.

My guy has a great family, but he also always bails on them and then whines that he misses them and loves them. I bluntly say to him " well make an effort...you're the one who bails" and for some reason that resonates positively with him...I don't suggest you do this. I think it's only something a bull & bull can accomplish being direct and blunt.

Also my bull has a way of sounding harsh and rude and almost defensive whenever I bring anything up to him that makes him feel hurt or uncomfortable. Might just be a bull thing. However after a nights sleep or sometime alone, he usually applogizes, or if it's in the moment I say " why are you getting loud/rude/defensive...I'm not yelling. We're just having a discussion" and usually he backs down a bit.

I don't really know what to say to help you, other than I relate.

Give it some time...communication is key, but I feel you take a good approach and to me you seem easy to talk to and rational.

Posted by Boots1313
Wow, he sounds so much like my bull, but since I'm a bull too I guess I can handle it better.

My guy has a great family, but he also always bails on them and then whines that he misses them and loves them. I bluntly say to him " well make an effort...you're the one who bails" and for some reason that resonates positively with him...

I'm the same way....have had some serious health scares with family members just recently to where I realize I need to turn this around....

I can’t count how many times my Sag guy and I have said, “Thank you for helping with that.” Or “Thank you for helping me see the other side of things.” I’m a Libra, we talk through a lot of things. That kind of blunt talk and discussion works better with other signs.

Taurus are great when you just say what you have to say bluntly (if you really have to) and don’t push more. Don’t discuss it more. Just let him talk. If someone rarely talks about their feelings, more than likely they are doing it only when they are really sad or frustrated or overwhelmed. He’s not looking for someone to give him advice or judge the situation or try to fix it. He’s looking to vent. That’s it.

If I learned anything from my ex Taurus, it was that all he needed was a rock. Someone to be there to listen, that he could trust to be there, and to lean on. Rocks don’t talk back, they don’t give advice, they don’t judge the situation. They just are there. Be there consistently enough and you have a Taurus’ heart.

Now it’s up to you if that’s the kind of relationship you want. This is why you might hear of relationships not working out with Taurus. They aren’t going to budge. He’s never going to just let you give him advice or try to fix things if that’s not what he wants. He will be consistent if nothing else. He may later on down the line, but I’ve only seen this happen with consistent partners who don’t mind waiting a decade for their Taurus to come around. Or those who have learned not to push for more info from them.

If this is going to be frustrating for you, then you need to find someone who is not like him.

from what i learned so far is that bulls are very sensitive. and it takes reaaaaallllly long for them to open up. and with opening up...i dont mean that he might be looking for advice or an opinion. but just conviding in you

my bull asks straight up "what do you think?" sometimes he doesnt ask and i give my view on things...sometimes i dont and dont analyze it but just let him vent and then we ....how odd it may seem....start talking about lighter things..

cant really explain, for some reason i guess i learned when to give an opinion and when not

what i can say is: no even though its hard to communicate with him...at such a moment try to just listen and just let him share his thoughts!

and the at another moment when he is in a good vibe try to start about that you want to get closer and deeper with him and about the communication issue

Posted by Waterbearerwearer
Oedipal complex is a very real Taurus affliction.
They all suffer from it

The Oedipus complex is a concept of psychoanalytic theory. Sigmund Freud introduced the concept in his Interpretation of Dreams (1899). The positive Oedipus complex refers to a child's unconscious sexual desire for the opposite-sex parent and hatred for the same-sex parent.

you are terrible. lol

Posted by sagittariusxo

Posted by Waterbearerwearer
Oedipal complex is a very real Taurus affliction.
They all suffer from it

The Oedipus complex is a concept of psychoanalytic theory. Sigmund Freud introduced the concept in his Interpretation of Dreams (1899). The positive Oedipus complex refers to a child's unconscious sexual desire for the opposite-sex parent and hatred for the same-sex parent.

you are terrible. lol

click to expand

This seems accurate for my Taurus at least.

His mother and him have a weird relationship and he despises his father..kind of.

@Sagittariusxo any update?

Posted by euphony
I can’t count how many times my Sag guy and I have said, “Thank you for helping with that.” Or “Thank you for helping me see the other side of things.” I’m a Libra, we talk through a lot of things. That kind of blunt talk and discussion works better with other signs.

Taurus are great when you just say what you have to say bluntly (if you really have to) and don’t push more. Don’t discuss it more. Just let him talk. If someone rarely talks about their feelings, more than likely they are doing it only when they are really sad or frustrated or overwhelmed. He’s not looking for someone to give him advice or judge the situation or try to fix it. He’s looking to vent. That’s it.

If I learned anything from my ex Taurus, it was that all he needed was a rock. Someone to be there to listen, that he could trust to be there, and to lean on. Rocks don’t talk back, they don’t give advice, they don’t judge the situation. They just are there. Be there consistently enough and you have a Taurus’ heart.

Now it’s up to you if that’s the kind of relationship you want. This is why you might hear of relationships not working out with Taurus. They aren’t going to budge. He’s never going to just let you give him advice or try to fix things if that’s not what he wants. He will be consistent if nothing else. He may later on down the line, but I’ve only seen this happen with consistent partners who don’t mind waiting a decade for their Taurus to come around. Or those who have learned not to push for more info from them.

If this is going to be frustrating for you, then you need to find someone who is not like him.

probably not going to be a normal rock.

I am a rock for my man, all I want is to be there for him and support him and I will always be that. but I also will never be able to keep my mouth shut to hypocrisy or to negativity. I will always be the partner/friend/person that pushs people to their full potential.

I think my bull knows this. I believe he appreciates this in me, but he resists.

its just hard. i don't want to change who i am but i do want to figure out the right way to approach a bull in a way that he can appreciate and not be defensive to

Posted by Boots1313
@Sagittariusxo any update?

thank you all for your feedback. I really really appreciate when you can talk to people and get honest and respectful opinion.

the night of out arguments i felt internal guilt for ruining his moment to open up by getting hurt by out communication differences. i recognize now, and need to recognize this better in the moment that i need to be able to just let my Taurus work through his thoughts without my opinion BUT ill probably going to always circle back after the fact to provide him my feedback. for the most part i am supportive of him and i will always provide positive affirmative words to the things i think he is doing right, but when i think he is in the wrong or is being stubborn or closed minded. the struggle with always be making sure he knows that my opinion is coming and its not to offend but only to shed light on a different side of things.

after the night we didn't really talk about it again. we went to work the next day and it was normal in terms of interaction, i did go and meet him at work for his lunch and when we said goodbye he game me a big hug and told me he was sorry for last night. i told him i was sorry as well and that its just important that we know how one of us can affect the other with things. - does that make since? isn't that important?

i said that because i think im more aware of things about us, not perfect by any means but i don't think he recognizes things that effect me without me verbally acknowledging it.

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by sagittariusxo

Posted by Waterbearerwearer
Oedipal complex is a very real Taurus affliction.
They all suffer from it

The Oedipus complex is a concept of psychoanalytic theory. Sigmund Freud introduced the concept in his Interpretation of Dreams (1899). The positive Oedipus complex refers to a child's unconscious sexual desire for the opposite-sex parent and hatred for the same-sex parent.

you are terrible. lol

This seems accurate for my Taurus at least.
His mother and him have a weird relationship and he despises his father..kind of.

click to expand

omg that is so weird to me.

i don't think this applys to my Taurus i think he equally has a good relationship with both parents.

maybe a littler resentment toward his mother for leaving his father. but they have both since moved on and it seems he is happy they both are happy. i think he is maybe upset with him regarding how they divorced. it was a surprise to both him and his brother and it would appear on the outside they never tried to make it work.

person that's how i think he sees it from what he has said. but at the same time don't think his parently argued infront of them, the divorced when his brother where in the early 20's so, grown men on there own. so who knows how long they had been drifting before they pulled the plug.

but no i don't think this applys lol

Posted by sagittariusxo

Posted by euphony
I can’t count how many times my Sag guy and I have said, “Thank you for helping with that.” Or “Thank you for helping me see the other side of things.” I’m a Libra, we talk through a lot of things. That kind of blunt talk and discussion works better with other signs.

Taurus are great when you just say what you have to say bluntly (if you really have to) and don’t push more. Don’t discuss it more. Just let him talk. If someone rarely talks about their feelings, more than likely they are doing it only when they are really sad or frustrated or overwhelmed. He’s not looking for someone to give him advice or judge the situation or try to fix it. He’s looking to vent. That’s it.

If I learned anything from my ex Taurus, it was that all he needed was a rock. Someone to be there to listen, that he could trust to be there, and to lean on. Rocks don’t talk back, they don’t give advice, they don’t judge the situation. They just are there. Be there consistently enough and you have a Taurus’ heart.

Now it’s up to you if that’s the kind of relationship you want. This is why you might hear of relationships not working out with Taurus. They aren’t going to budge. He’s never going to just let you give him advice or try to fix things if that’s not what he wants. He will be consistent if nothing else. He may later on down the line, but I’ve only seen this happen with consistent partners who don’t mind waiting a decade for their Taurus to come around. Or those who have learned not to push for more info from them.

If this is going to be frustrating for you, then you need to find someone who is not like him.

probably not going to be a normal rock.
I am a rock for my man, all I want is to be there for him and support him and I will always be that. but I also will never be able to keep my mouth shut to hypocrisy or to negativity. I will always be the partner/friend/person that pushs people to their full potential.

I think my bull knows this. I believe he appreciates this in me, but he resists.
its just hard. i don't want to change who i am but i do want to figure out the right way to approach a bull in a way that he can appreciate and not be defensive to

click to expand

Isn’t that why a lot of relationships don’t work today? Opposites attract, but then neither wants to change who they are.

Compromise and communication are rare these days. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Or you can be with someone more like you and then things might end up a little boring? 😂

Like I said, the “right way” is to understand when people just want to vent vs. need help. Understand that your partner is different from you is often the “right way.” Then decide in your heart if that is something you can deal with. Expecting others to change, is a test they will hardly ever pass. And even then, it takes a lot of praying.

😂🙏🏻

Posted by euphony

Posted by sagittariusxo

Posted by euphony
I can’t count how many times my Sag guy and I have said, “Thank you for helping with that.” Or “Thank you for helping me see the other side of things.” I’m a Libra, we talk through a lot of things. That kind of blunt talk and discussion works better with other signs.

Taurus are great when you just say what you have to say bluntly (if you really have to) and don’t push more. Don’t discuss it more. Just let him talk. If someone rarely talks about their feelings, more than likely they are doing it only when they are really sad or frustrated or overwhelmed. He’s not looking for someone to give him advice or judge the situation or try to fix it. He’s looking to vent. That’s it.

If I learned anything from my ex Taurus, it was that all he needed was a rock. Someone to be there to listen, that he could trust to be there, and to lean on. Rocks don’t talk back, they don’t give advice, they don’t judge the situation. They just are there. Be there consistently enough and you have a Taurus’ heart.

Now it’s up to you if that’s the kind of relationship you want. This is why you might hear of relationships not working out with Taurus. They aren’t going to budge. He’s never going to just let you give him advice or try to fix things if that’s not what he wants. He will be consistent if nothing else. He may later on down the line, but I’ve only seen this happen with consistent partners who don’t mind waiting a decade for their Taurus to come around. Or those who have learned not to push for more info from them.

If this is going to be frustrating for you, then you need to find someone who is not like him.

probably not going to be a normal rock.
I am a rock for my man, all I want is to be there for him and support him and I will always be that. but I also will never be able to keep my mouth shut to hypocrisy or to negativity. I will always be the partner/friend/person that pushs people to their full potential.

I think my bull knows this. I believe he appreciates this in me, but he resists.
its just hard. i don't want to change who i am but i do want to figure out the right way to approach a bull in a way that he can appreciate and not be defensive to

Isn’t that why a lot of relationships don’t work today? Opposites attract, but then neither wants to change who they are.

Compromise and communication are rare these days. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Or you can be with someone more like you and then things might end up a little boring? 😂

Like I said, the “right way” is to understand when people just want to vent vs. need help. Understand that your partner is different from you is often the “right way.” Then decide in your heart if that is something you can deal with. Expecting others to change, is a test they will hardly ever pass. And even then, it takes a lot of praying.
😂🙏🏻

click to expand

I agree, people don't change much but you can change your attitude - it takes a long time to really get to know someone