Getting Through to Taurus

Hi Guys,

My Taurus guy told me the other day that he feels that I still don't have my wall down and feels exhausted. I truly care for this man and have never felt like this before. I do not want to loose him. Any tips on how I can get him to believe me? We have been texting the last few days and I feel like if we met up he would see the sincerity in my eyes. I fear I may have lost someone I truly care about.

thoughts/suggestions on how to reach the Taurus?

Nicole

How long have you been together?

Posted by Damnata
How long have you been together?

We've been together 8 months. I tried telling him how much I care, gave him his space and just reached out again. He's responding but I'm afraid he's just being nice. I do not want to lose him b/c he is so wrong. I care for him very much and he's gotten to know me in a way no one else has.

He is just feeling tired over you not being comfortable enough with him to open up (in his mind). He should have patience with you and understand people open up at different paces.

What's your sign?

I thought Virgo but I'm going with an air sign.

Posted by Damnata
He is just feeling tired over you not being comfortable enough with him to open up (in his mind). He should have patience with you and understand people open up at different paces.

What's your sign?

Ha! I am a Leo Sun, Virgo asc with a Capricorn Moon. We have talked about this before us opening up. I have told him my fears which to me is the ultimate vulnerability. I fear I might lose him over this misunderstanding. He seems distant and texts and not as playful. I am trying to find a way to connect w/him and to remove the exhaustion factor. Outside of asking to meet I have been keeping the communication low-key bc I sent a few texts last week laying my emotions out there and I don't want to seem overwhelming. I am worried things are over for good. I just want him to know that I do care.

Yeah..strong earth.

I think you did enough already. You can't spend your life catering to people who don't have patience with you. I'm like him in a way...I do want people to be as open and expressive as soon as possible but I understand everyone is allowed to open up at their own pace.

Did he have any other things to say besides you not being open? Something that didn't sit right with him?

Posted by Damnata
Yeah..strong earth.

I think you did enough already. You can't spend your life catering to people who don't have patience with you. I'm like him in a way...I do want people to be as open and expressive as soon as possible but I understand everyone is allowed to open up at their own pace.

Did he have any other things to say besides you not being open? Something that didn't sit right with him?

I really care about this relationship. I'm not interested in pointing fingers. I just want to fix things. He brought up a lack of affection. He says that's not the problem. It's just a symptom of me not letting down my guard, but personally I think the affection issue is bigger than he is trying to make it out to be.

I meant..if there was anything he said was not going good besides the guard not let down.

You have a healthy mindset about not pointing fingers and wanting to fix things. I'd have a heart to heart with him and ask him specifically what he wants from me..and then think if I can provide that. You should never go beyond your limits if someone keeps pushing and pushing. He must be reacting from a place of hurt and possibly anger. Wait a little bit.

Posted by ephflank

Posted by Damnata
Yeah..strong earth.

I think you did enough already. You can't spend your life catering to people who don't have patience with you. I'm like him in a way...I do want people to be as open and expressive as soon as possible but I understand everyone is allowed to open up at their own pace.

Did he have any other things to say besides you not being open? Something that didn't sit right with him?

I really care about this relationship. I'm not interested in pointing fingers. I just want to fix things. He brought up a lack of affection. He says that's not the problem. It's just a symptom of me not letting down my guard, but personally I think the affection issue is bigger than he is trying to make it out to be.

click to expand

I know a Taurus guy & he is extremely affectionate. I would b surprised if this isn't a bigger deal than what ur guys is saying.

Leo, wait til some other Tauruses respond...I am a Virgo and might not grasp their essence. They will come up with some good advice.

Posted by Damnata
I meant..if there was anything he said was not going good besides the guard not let down.

You have a healthy mindset about not pointing fingers and wanting to fix things. I'd have a heart to heart with him and ask him specifically what he wants from me..and then think if I can provide that. You should never go beyond your limits if someone keeps pushing and pushing. He must be reacting from a place of hurt and possibly anger. Wait a little bit.

Yea, that's why i want to meet up and have a heart to heart in person not via text. I feel like if he saw how sincere I was this would help get through to him. I guess text might have to suffice? But I feel like that will seem like I am overwhelming him w/words.

I am not quite sure what to do or say at this point. He responds to my text, but he still seems distant.

Posted by Impulsv
I think if affection he seeks words will not suffice. Actions will. Do u rush him when u see him. Do u show affection physically. This is what he might need.
My love language being touch u can say anything but if ur just sitting not initiating hugs n stuff

I have asked to see him so I can show him instead of just tell him. I am definitely willing to give him the affection he needs b/c I need and want it as well. I was just holding off bc I didn't want to scare him w/my intense love for him. He also never really seemed into and never really held my hand much etc. so that is the other reason I held back.

I have been keeping the texts short/simple after pouring my heart out last week...he said he might have time on Friday to talk/meet. I was thinking of adding another text along the lines of I don't want to pressure you. I just want to show you that you were heard and give you the affection I have been wanting to give. Maybe not those exact words, but something to that effect.

You sound so much like me it's eery. You can send that.

Have faith Leo

scorched he said he doesn't want to see her. probably hurt.

she would want to go and prove herself to him.

scorched, maybe she isn't a robot but has problems with expressing herself.

ring a bell? 😛

I have been trying to meet up w/him but he's been a little ambiguous. I want to let him know I'm serious.

he also said I have a wall up...but I honestly don't. It's like he doesn't get how much he affects me. I shared my fears/vulnerabilities which to me is the ultimate sign i trust you. Me telling him my fears was about me bringing him in; not pushing him away.

Posted by scorchedearth

Posted by Damnata
scorched, maybe she isn't a robot but has problems with expressing herself.

ring a bell? 😛

i have problems expressing myself too but i've never let it get to the point where someone DOES NOT WANT TO SEE ME OR TALK TO ME because of it. i acknowledge my problem and then make a conscious effort to go beyond my comfort zone to make them know that i care.

this bitch didn't want to make the effort. she's getting exactly what she deserves. ZERO SYMPATHY.

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you seem beyond reason, but I have gone way beyond my comfort zone in this relationship. that's why I am so shocked that he feels I have not let him in.

Even robots can be coerced. You just need vaseline, not lube

Posted by scorchedearth
if you've gone "way beyond your comfort zone" and he says you have walls up and has issues with your lack of opening up you must be some kind of robot. men don't need emotional support the way a woman does. so if you can't even provide that i seriously would go talk to a therapist or something and learn how to open up and express your feelings. there is something seriously wrong there. i'm not trying to be mean.

ha, generally when ppl say they are not trying to be mean, they are! you seem really unhappy and angry; don't project your issues onto me. he also says he feels like we are very similar. we are both people that like to make sure the other person is 100% comfortable before we move forward. Unfortunately, I think this has bitten us in the ass.

take your effing wall down.whos going 2 keep trying that Nobody thats who.

Posted by scorchedearth
bitch you're the one who's boyfriend doesn't want to see you because you have walls up and are not expressing yourself in a way that makes him feel safe.

so accusing me of being angry does nothing for you. ignore me if you want. but i've been in the situation you're in right now and i've worked past it because i was willing to acknowledge that my thoughts on things were not the be all to end all reality of the situation and i was able to work through their feelings. i didn't say "oh i'm totally being open i don't have a wall!!!!1 lololol" what good does that do? diminishing your partners feelings that way? you're the one in the bad situation here. you'd think you'd listen to someone that has fixed and worked past the shit you're going through right now.

What did u do to work through ur situation?

Also what would u suggest she proceed to try to make things right with this guy?

Where is this Taurus alter you speak of, scorched?

I just had some good ideas pop into my head 😄

Yep! What's the fear? Your heart getting kicked around? So what. Let that rule you may as well hang up your jock. Game over.

Posted by scorchedearth
what kind of ideas virgo? 0.o

😄

hmmn, as an FYI, I have put my feelings out there numerous times. I started this convo bc that does not seem to be helping...

like i said you seem really angry and until one post ago when someone called you out, you still had offered no advice for the situation. Everyone else here offers help but you just keep coming w/these barrage of negative messages and profanity.

Posted by ephflank

Posted by Impulsv
I think if affection he seeks words will not suffice. Actions will. Do u rush him when u see him. Do u show affection physically. This is what he might need.
My love language being touch u can say anything but if ur just sitting not initiating hugs n stuff

I have asked to see him so I can show him instead of just tell him. I am definitely willing to give him the affection he needs b/c I need and want it as well. I was just holding off bc I didn't want to scare him w/my intense love for him. He also never really seemed into and never really held my hand much etc. so that is the other reason I held back.

click to expand

All right. I've had enough lol.

I'd like to draw everyone's attention to this: " I was just holding off bc I didn't want to scare him w/my intense love for him. He also never really seemed into and never really held my hand much etc. so that is the other reason I held back."

As a Taurus female, I've been in your shoes many, many times. It is sometimes said that we Taureans have problems expressing ourselves emotionally. I never believed it until I REALLY thought about how many times I've held back...and then, those emotions manifest in something else, like being giddy, or sarcastic, or even standoffish. Is he ever like that? I'd guess yes based on your comment about the hand-holding.

I LOVE holding hands, right...but it sometimes takes a move of Heaven and Earth for me to do it. I will literally sit there, and all I can think is, "I really want to hold his hand, but WHAT IF he doesn't want to hold mine?!? OMG. I can't do it...but I really wanna do it!!!! I wish he would do it....he's not gonna do it..." and eventually I give up or get over it lol.

My point here is this: it could be possible that he is projecting some of his own inability to express on you. Now, that doesn't get you quite off the hook. I think true vulnerability involves you going to that place where you just may scare him off...sometimes it is important for your partner to see you there. But, if he is "exhausted" with you, my guess is that unless you are doing some physical sparring he is mentally/emotionally exhausted, which just may be because he's walling up too. What he may be telling you is that he's got up a wall because he senses YOU have a wall...it's not really fa

fair, but if it's true, perhaps showing him some of that "intense love" you have will prove beneficial.

I do agree with a lot of the previous posters, even Scorched, in her "kick-you-in-the-ass" approach, lol...I understand where she's coming from, though. I don't think he's quite at that point with you. I'm going to go with Damnata and say give it a bit...perhaps even let him initiate the next meeting and be sure it's face-to-face...and let those feelings flow!

I've got high hopes for you, AND I want to know how it went, lol.

"As a Taurus female, I've been in your shoes many, many times. It is sometimes said that we Taureans have problems expressing ourselves emotionally. I never believed it until I REALLY thought about how many times I've held back...and then, those emotions manifest in something else, like being giddy, or sarcastic, or even standoffish. Is he ever like that? I'd guess yes based on your comment about the hand-holding."

YES YES YES. This is what I see in Taurus a lot. (limited experience though)

I thought I was done...lol...(say hello to my Merc and Venus in Gem...chatty Kathys lol)...

I want to expound (briefly, hopefully) on why showing him some of that "intense love" may be beneficial.

Taureans are cautious (most of us, anyways) and we like something SURE. So if we get aaaaaany indication that the ground can't hold us, we're not going to stand on it. We also are experts at telling if you're faking it. So that real, raw emotion, whilst it may seem a bit dramatic and uncomfortable, is sometimes necessary so that we feel we can stand on your stable ground. We don't like to try and fall, we'd rather analyze the terrain and graze elsewhere if we don't think the land stability is sufficient.

Don't let the nerves get the best of you with a Bull. We tend to be sincere and caring and if we really care, we won't hurt you. We can tell if you're nervous, and its okay. We'd rather you be nervous and genuine than confident and fake. Any day. 🙂

Posted by Damnata
"As a Taurus female, I've been in your shoes many, many times. It is sometimes said that we Taureans have problems expressing ourselves emotionally. I never believed it until I REALLY thought about how many times I've held back...and then, those emotions manifest in something else, like being giddy, or sarcastic, or even standoffish. Is he ever like that? I'd guess yes based on your comment about the hand-holding."

YES YES YES. This is what I see in Taurus a lot. (limited experience though)

yes, he's more on the standoffish approach. And when i have been affectionate with him he doesn't really respond to it so I end up feeling sad/rejected b/c I feel like I don't affect him at all. He says he's this passionate/ardent person but I have never seen that in our 8 months of dating. In my mind, I just accepted that this would take time for him and I would wait. He's not the only one who wanted affection.

@OP

Where is your Venus?

Where is his Venus?

I'm close friends with a Taurus male. If it's affection he wants then be sensual with him. Taurus men are very sensual. Give him massages, hold his hand in public, caress his hands and head when cuddling, and hug him firmly. If he senses that you don't feel the same way that he feels about you he'll find someone else. Taurus men, depending on maturity are usually straight forward.

Posted by TruePisces5
I'm close friends with a Taurus male. If it's affection he wants then be sensual with him. Taurus men are very sensual. Give him massages, hold his hand in public, caress his hands and head when cuddling, and hug him firmly. If he senses that you don't feel the same way that he feels about you he'll find someone else. Taurus men, depending on maturity are usually straight forward.

Hi TruePisces...I can agree with this from the femme standpoint, lol...dealing with a Pisces myself and not getting all that cuddle time from him. Another story, though....

Posted by Nala13
@OP

Where is your Venus?

Where is his Venus?

his venus is in gemini; mine is in capricorn

You cannot have your venus in capricorn if you're a Leo 😐

Check again.

Posted by ephflank

Posted by Nala13
@OP

Where is your Venus?

Where is his Venus?

his venus is in gemini; mine is in capricorn

click to expand

i've sent various lengthy texts saying how much I care; how I have never felt this way (all true). I stopped that b/c I thought that I might be pushing him away even further. The reason I want to meet him in person is so that he can look into my eyes and see the sincerity and the rawness. Its taking everything in me to stay controlled right now when all I want to do is tell him all this. It doesn't seem to be working though....he says's he's still here and that we will figure it out eventually, but I dont' want that...i just want everything open and for there to be nothing but love. i want him to feel what I feel, but at the same time I words don't suffice...so i keep stuff in b/c I don't want to cheapen the feeling...does that make sense

Posted by ephflank

Posted by Nala13
@OP

Where is your Venus?

Where is his Venus?

his venus is in gemini; mine is in capricorn

click to expand

I knew yours was in an Earth sign. So is mine. It is very difficult for me to express emotion as well. However, when it is brought to my attention I do my best to fix it. If it was brought to you attention, do your best to fix it. Here are some realistic tips that will work until you can do it by yourself. I got these from my Virgo friend

Put a reminder in your phone that goes off everyday that says" text boyfriend I love him or text boyfriend thinking about you"

Let kisses and hugs replace words. So when you are wanting to tell him something show him how you feel with a kiss. Your Virgo placements probably cause you to over analyze everything like mine. I mean I literally am wondering if my breath is fresh when kissing. I should be enjoying the kiss.

Lastly, tell him something that you have never told anyone else and tell him that you have never told anyone else.

Make yourself vunerable.

I know how you feel.

Posted by Damnata
You cannot have your venus in capricorn if you're a Leo 😐

Check again.

oops i meant my moon is in capricorn...venus is in virgo

you guys keep saying to tell him what i feel, but i have and i'm still in the doghouse. you don't know how many msgs i've sent pouring my heart like never before....i don't know what else to do

Posted by ephflank

Posted by Damnata
"As a Taurus female, I've been in your shoes many, many times. It is sometimes said that we Taureans have problems expressing ourselves emotionally. I never believed it until I REALLY thought about how many times I've held back...and then, those emotions manifest in something else, like being giddy, or sarcastic, or even standoffish. Is he ever like that? I'd guess yes based on your comment about the hand-holding."

YES YES YES. This is what I see in Taurus a lot. (limited experience though)

yes, he's more on the standoffish approach. And when i have been affectionate with him he doesn't really respond to it so I end up feeling sad/rejected b/c I feel like I don't affect him at all. He says he's this passionate/ardent person but I have never seen that in our 8 months of dating. In my mind, I just accepted that this would take time for him and I would wait. He's not the only one who wanted affection.

click to expand

Nothing to add, but this is interesting. Seems like you are going through the same thing he is.

he told me the last time week that he feels like we are really similar. It's frustrating b/cI feel like there is so much love there but we ended up at this stalemate instead. We have this great fucking potential...WTF! I feel like we keep waiting for the other one to put it out there b/c we both like a 100% sure thing before putting ourselves out there. I am holding out hope b/c he said he is "still here" and after a few of my heartfelt texts he also said 'we will figure this out eventually'....i read that bulls don't do too well w/emotions so I stopped the msgs and gave him some space..i wnat to send another msg but I dont't want to run him off

Posted by ephflank
he told me the last time week that he feels like we are really similar. It's frustrating b/cI feel like there is so much love there but we ended up at this stalemate instead. We have this great fucking potential...WTF! I feel like we keep waiting for the other one to put it out there b/c we both like a 100% sure thing before putting ourselves out there. I am holding out hope b/c he said he is "still here" and after a few of my heartfelt texts he also said 'we will figure this out eventually'....i read that bulls don't do too well w/emotions so I stopped the msgs and gave him some space..i wnat to send another msg but I dont't want to run him off

Don't beat yourself up about it, especially if you are not feeling fulfilled in certain areas, or you don't feel he's open himself. It's unfair for him to ask for what he's not giving. His unresponsive behavior to your efforts is shutting you down, so he's a big part of this problem as well because it goes against what he wants. Maybe the two of you are not emotionally compatible, or maybe you are eachothers reflection and there's lessons that need to be learned here. Don't carry the weight of it all.

Posted by scorchedearth

Posted by venusianbull
Yep! What's the fear? Your heart getting kicked around? So what. Let that rule you may as well hang up your jock. Game over.

it amazes me how you're able to say what i mean in a way that doesn't come across as so hostile. your mercury in aries is much different than mine. 😢

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Woman if you knew the number of times I've tapped out a bomb blast and never hit 'send'..well. *popping collar* 😎

ephflank,

Calm down. You don't know what it was he is telling you... there might me another reason.

not just "a wall down issues" etc. etc. Just don't prove yourself too much. keep it light

if you want him back, Say something that NO EMOTIONS attach.

Listen to the voice within... this is more accurate than what you want to believe.

Impulsv,

remember my ex Taurus.. He hates my bitch attitude..but he kept saying.. M, It was love and I kept

replying.. Taurman, It wasn't love. If it was It didn't fail. I just came as we agreed. lol.

I am a No turning back approach. If love is genuine.. men,coming crawling..lol.

Taurus are very affectionate people and emotional - they won't show it in a dramatical way, but in a warm and discrete manner. But If you want to reach that level of intimacy/ affection with them, they have to gain complete trust in you, which means - your emotions and you'r sencerety on open, where they can feel it and taste it - no walls of any kind.
Usually they don't realise if they are the ones being a bit more closed, they simply wait for you to come out first - they are simply not the kind of folks to dwell on a dangerous teritory, somewhere they don't feel safe. Safety with their real partner is of imennse importance to them. They won't -invest- further in a relationship if they don't feel safe and natural with you.

As I've figured - text messages are of not much importance to them. They don't find them sencere. Rarely they will go on and talk about their emotions seriously over phone. (except if they'r feeling highly poetical tehn they will blow your mind with their writings - most of them are poetic souls)

My advice for you now would be - be bold, be open, be really HONEST, be intense even (Bull can take intense) - be energetic and warm - no time for any doubts and crying and should I or should I not? Do it, ask yourself what do you want to do the most towards him and don't think what if he reacts like this or like that, you will limit yourself with fear and stay frozen (cold?). - That is just my oppinion, just think about it. If anyone thinks this is a no no , speak your mind 🙂

Thanks for your advice guys. We had been texting, nothing serious just random stuff. He said that couldn't meet on Friday bc he was shooting a all day. I told him okay and that I missed him. At this point I feel like giving up bc he is not giving me anything and I have tried so hard this entire relationship. I have never treated him like this even though I have wanted more affection. I always talk to him about things.

I know that texts/emails won't fix it. That's it's about action but we haven't met up. but it's all I had so I was trying with that. I have sent msgs but don't really get a reaction so I am giving up.

I am absolutely heartbroken, but shit happens I guess I will get over it eventually. Right now it doesn't feel like it

i feel obligated to update this post since so many people responded. I heard from the taurus guy. he feels like i never give him any "touch me" vibes and that the last time we were together I pushed him away - which is not the case I was actually trying to get hsi attention b/c he kept watching TV. Either way it seems to be over. It seems his feelings are SUPER HURT over a few misunderstandings and I don't see him getting over this.

He says 'maybe it is time you move on and find what you are looking for"...The thing is I wanted him ...funny how we ended up here all I wanted was him.