Help!

I'm stuck in a pretty sticky situation.
Well, my boyfriend is coming over again soon and he will be needing a place to stay.
Last time he came over (May this year), things messed up pretty bad. My parent said that he could stay at hers with me and she told me this. I told her for months, even last year i mentioned and made it clear that i want to be with him and could he stay at our house. My parent really agreed and things seemed simple and all set. My parent is Sagitarius. My boyfriend and I are Taurus. Anyway, when he arrived from his flight and i met him at the bus station, before i left to meet him, my parent started to get "funny" and nasty with me. Then she said and made it clear that no, he is not staying at her place with me. I couldn't believe it and it left be confused and worried. I couldn't understand how she changed her mind like this and was wondering, wtf is this shiz??
My parent used to be friendly and talk with him way before i knew him. That's how i came across him, from my parent being a friend with him. We came across each other on facebook and he is from Finland, I am from Ireland.
Me and him have known each other for nearly two years now, this includes, talking everyday, seeing each other on skype sometimes and having met and been together for a week, spending our birthday's together. We really want together and i really like him, a lot. But things just aren't that simple, even though they could be and should be. But certain people just want to make it hard. and it hurts. because all i want is together. and I suffer from gardener's syndrome, so i have to get an operation soon, even though i really dont want to, i'm scared. So I want to be together with him, and spend as much time and have a good time together while i am reasonably well and not sick after having the operation.
I don't want to get the operation and have said no, i'm not getting it. But he says I should and if I don't at sometime, then he won't be with me anymore cause he says he doesn't want to be with me and then I just die, he doesn't want me to die, and i have about less than 9 years to live if i get no operation because gardener's syndrome turns into bowel cancer if no operation is done.
Anyway, long story short:
we're both the same age, 21. And he's coming over again soon. now he says he won't book any flight over until he knows he has a place to stay. this is because last time, my mum, even though she agreed to let him stay with me at her house before h

e arrived, she made things really horrible for us that week. she had me crying and was giving me verbal abuse every day i'd come back from visiting him at the hotel he stayed at. she said i was a whore, that i'm nothing to her and that she doesn't care if i die. All this made me really stressed and i bled a lot when i went to the bathroom that whole week. because of her stressing me out and making me so unhappy. i cried everyday that week. i even cried and broke into tears when i was with him. he would put his arms around me and hold me, telling me not to cry. but i couldn't stop because even though my mum did all that, i still love her and it hurt so much that she hated me for just wanting to be with him.
She said to me that i'm choosing him over her. I told her that's nonsense, it's not about choosing, it's about one gives something the other can't and vice versa. And i told her that no mother would be like this, instead a mother would be there to support their daughter when they have a boyfriend. Not react in the way she did.
We had a horrible week. except for a couple of days, in which he took me out for my birthday to a restaurant and he got me a real expensive present. I liked that day together. we sat at the table, glancing, staring at each other across the dining table, exchanging smiles and feeding each other the food and dessert.
It was really nice. And we were both happy.
My mum gave me an ultimatum. she told me that if i didn't get him to leave and go back home, then that would be me and her over, finished. I was so upset and broken over this. I couldn't understand how someone could be so cruel.
So i told him. he had to go home.
So, the night that he was preparing to leave, i stayed over with him at the hotel. We packed the stuff up and went to the bus stop waiting for the Dublin bus to come so that he could go to the Dublin Airport and get his flight home.
He wanted me to come with me on the journey to the airport on the bus, he begged me. and i was hesitant because it was late and i was scared about how my mum would react when i came back so late. He begged me though, pleading me to go with me because he wanted to spend as much time as he could with me. so I agreed. He paid for my ticket and we went together.
When he left at the airport, it tore me apart. And i cried so much on my way home on the bus.
it hurt. I wish he had taken me with him. I wish that as i turned my back and walked away, he would come back and take my hand and ta

...take me away with him.
So he left. And i returned home, really tired and unhappy, sad and hurt.
When i went to the door, my mum wouldn't let me in and pretended she wasn't in. But she was.
after about an hour of waiting outside the door, she eventually, let me in. When she let me in she said to me, 'i don't know why you came back here, you don't live here. Your his now, don't know why you didn't go off with him. You're not using this place as a hotel. You're nothing to do with me. You've made your choice. Pack your stuff and get out. I don't care if you're homeless you're not my problem,' as i sat on my bed in my room, drained and feeling numb. He had left and still, she was being like this with me.
So i went to stay at my granny's. she couldn't believe they way my mum treated me. a friend of hers said that you wouldn't even treat a dog like the way my mum treated me. My granny and her friend, aunt, said that i done nothing wrong. All i done was have a boyfriend, like any normal person my age. I hadn't even went off with any guy before. this was the first.
My granny had me stay with her for a while.
after 5 days i went back home. and my mum said that she was sorry and she was crying. She said she was like that because she didn't want him to take me away from her and she was afraid of that happening. She told me all she does is screw up my life and i was happy with him, she's sorry for what she did.
my mum said he can come over again and this time he'll stay here with me if i wanted and all that other stuff wont happen again.
Moving on from this, recently, he's planning to come over again.
i told my mum about it. and I thought she would keep to her word and allow him to stay, but now she changes her mind once again.

Now i'm left with no place for him to stay, and i don't have any money for my own place. if i did, i'd be fucking out of this shithole place and have my own house to live in. I hate living her, i'm just being controlled and i don't feel any freedom or any way of growing up and having my own life.
My mum knows i don't have any money for a place of my own. she therefore knows that there's no place for him to stay and that we cant be together then. she could offer support and help. but she just won't.

So, i was thinking i could ask my other granny who i just got into contact with and she would let him stay. she hasn't met him yet, but i know him. My granny is Scorpio.
Do you think she'll allow him to stay with me at hers? he can

sleep on the couch. Is it too much to ask to ask can he stay at my granny's as i stay over too? I know it's a big thing to ask and out of the blue, but i would really would appreciate it and it would make me very happy.
I wouldn't ask if i wasn't desperate, and if i had my own place, I really would not ask. So i'm not being disrespectful, i just seeking some support and want to be together with him. He would be staying for 2 weeks or so.
Last time he came over he spent 1200 and that was just in a week because he had to stay in a hotel.
Should i just tell him that my granny has said yes to him staying with her so that he'll book the flight over?
because i have to tell him soon cause he says once the tickets reach 1000 in price, he's not booking, and i haven't called my granny yet to ask her. So i'm feeling pressure.

Well Aimi, you live in your Mom's house. Therefore you have to respect her wishes even though she is not always acting reasonable. I think your mother does not like the fact that this guy only sees you periodically, lives far away, and maybe she wants more for you. As far as your boyfriend goes, he is a grown man and should be able to pay for his own hotel when he travels. He has to alos respect your mother's wishes also because she is your mother.

BTW , how old was this guy when he was talking to your mom on Facebook? Like 19 or so? That is kinda strange.

*also* argh!

Respect her wishes? But she doesn't respect mine. She never has. And that's how i feel about it. she made the promise that he could stay, then breaks that promise?? She shouldn't say things she can't live up to. Don't act the "cool" mum if you can't live up to the expectations.
and i'm 21. i'm an adult, it's not like i'm 16. I've never brough back guys to the house or even had a proper boyfriend before. This is the first time i feel happy with someone. And She should start treating me like i have my own life and allow me some freedom.
And no, as far as i'm concerned, she has lied to me. If she really cared, she would care about my happiness and what makes me happy. And guess what? My mum doesn't make me happy. Not right now anyway.
I'm not stupid. I think if he was a waster and a creep to me, I wouldn't be wanting to be together with him so bad.
But turns out, he's actually decent. And i'm not having her controlling me.
She's not the one who's being with him, her judgement is inaccurate and stupid.
She won't and can't be there forever for me either and he does care.

He wants to live with me and get a job here, and we get our own place.
It wouldn't be periodically visiting if my mum had kept to her word. it wasn't supposed to be just one week, it was supposed to be for a lot longer, he was planning to get a job here. He has a job back home.
He wouldn't even be like a parasite cause he'd be getting his own food and having input in the household.
And was he was actually 20 when my mum talked with him.

He wants to live with me and get a job here, and we get our own place.
It wouldn't be periodically visiting if my mum had kept to her word. it wasn't supposed to be just one week, it was supposed to be for a lot longer, he was planning to get a job here. He has a job back home.
He wouldn't even be like a parasite cause he'd be getting his own food and having input in the household.
And was he was actually 20 when my mum talked with him.

And he did pay for his own stay at a hotel. he spent 1200 like i said.
Staying at a hotel doesn't allow us to see each other and be with each other a lot. Because then i have to get to the hotel, i can't always stay and it's just shit.

He wants to live with me and get a job here, and we get our own place.
It wouldn't be periodically visiting if my mum had kept to her word. it wasn't supposed to be just one week, it was supposed to be for a lot longer, he was planning to get a job here. He has a job back home.
He wouldn't even be like a parasite cause he'd be getting his own food and having input in the household.
And was he was actually 20 when my mum talked with him.

I am not saying your Mom is right. Most moms would not promise that he could stay and then go back on their word like she did. She is not comfortable with this guy for some reason. I don't know if she is just trying to control you. If you have a job and are paying her some type of rent, then you have more leverage. If not, you are under her mercy. Did you have this guy over to meet your mom? Maybe if you take her out to dinner-the 3 of you- she can get to be with both of you and see how he takes care of you. He has to show her respect and earn her trust it seems.