help with Taurus guy please

Back story :Last October, I went to a concert and saw this guy,he plays guitar in a local band.I didn't talk to him because I'm pretty shy and didn't think he would want to talk to me. Never thought I would see him again. In January, I saw him at this other show and my sag friend pushed me to talk to him. It was awkward at first, but then I asked him his birthday, found out he was Taurus and said "oh we're so getting married" and then things just flowed from there. We have the same weird sense of humor and he kept telling me how funny I was. we exchanged numbers, held hands, he said he was cold so I hugged him, and when I stopped he said he said it again... he asked his friends for more time when they were ready to go. We texted a lot..

In February I saw him again at a party I went to and we hung out all night, just talking and laughing at silly stuff. He told me he had issues, i said it's okay, i do too. We hung out again at his bands show, he told me about some of his insecurities, and about his ex.. he was talking to a bunch of people so I went over by the bar and he came over and started talking to be again. he drove me home, he told me I should come hangout at rehearsals, and that he would visit me.. we texted for a few days after that, but not as much as we did before.. like he would reply days after.. March he told me about a show that they were going to do, but decided not to at the last minute, I called him, we spoke a bit and he called me back.. we just click.. idk.. i asked him when our date would be and he was like saying that he needs to get a car and stuff, but we made plans. after that we didnt talk for awhile.. then there was this thing I invited him to, but he had a show that night, he said he would try to come after.. he couldn't though and I told him that it was okay.. we didnt talk for like a week after that.. I texted him, we were okay and stuff.

on Friday I asked him if he liked me,because I'm really not sure if it's just a friendship, which is fine or something else, he didn't reply to that..he replied to something I had asked earlier in the day and I asked him if he got my text.. he didn't reply.. so like later in the night I texted him and said forget it , it's ok.. and we haven't spoken since then and I don't know if he will talk to me again 😢. and it's quite possibly my fault.

his stuffs

Sun Taurus

Ascendant Virgo

Moon Leo

Mercury Aries

Venus Gemini

Mars Leo

My stuffs

Sun Cap

Moon Cap

Mercury Cap

Venus Cap

Mars Scorpio

Ascendant Taurus

A musician with a Leo Moon/Mars and Gemini Venus?

Yeah, he's in it just for the ego trip.

Lets see
He has issues
He talks about his ex
He's in a band

Doesn't really matter what star sign he is eh

Posted by RichCap
I bet his band is boring and cliched and they sing about issues and exes. GTFO.

They are actually really good and I asked for help.

Posted by Damnata
A musician with a Leo Moon/Mars and Gemini Venus?

Yeah, he's in it just for the ego trip.

Oh, I thought it was either he was just being nice, or he was actually interested.. I didn't see it that way, but it is possible.

It's really not about him being in a band.. I find it very hard to communicate with people, so the fact that I can communicate with him so freely and not worry about being judged is amazing. It's just easy and comfortable. I've never been to any of their rehearsals and we did plan to go on a date, however, we aren't talking right now. Our sense of humor is the same, so we do laugh a lot. He said it too, people don't ever get his sense of humor so quickly. He's tall, skinny, nerdy and funny.. and he is actually very shy.

I do not want to be an emotional crutch.. for any guy..

Giving him space.

And no they are actually good for real. but that doesn't matter.

Posted by Damnata
A musician with a Leo Moon/Mars and Gemini Venus?

Yeah, he's in it just for the ego trip.

Hey! Those are all my placements!

Ahh gotcha 🙂..

Sometimes I think he likes me in that way, when we hang out or talk on the phone.. then other times I'm like this dude does not like me that way at all.. which is why I asked, then he totally evaded the question and I overreacted, should have just left it alone. my leo friend said it might not be fixable because I told him to "forget it".. I'm afraid that it might not be fixable, but it could be that he's just busy. I really don't know.

Posted by karialexcia

Posted by Damnata
A musician with a Leo Moon/Mars and Gemini Venus?

Yeah, he's in it just for the ego trip.

Oh, I thought it was either he was just being nice, or he was actually interested.. I didn't see it that way, but it is possible.

click to expand

I have all those placements, except I have Cap Ascendant. Yes, he is probably interested. Men with pride/large egos (most men) also look for love. Its not your "fault" if he's been out of touch. I would just take things slower, and try to enjoy your time with him, without falling too fast or making it too heavy. Its big that he's talking about his insecurities and issues with ex, already. I would wait for him to contact next. If you scared him away, then he's probably a little too gun-shy to be in any sort of relationship right now.

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Posted by Damnata
A musician with a Leo Moon/Mars and Gemini Venus?

Yeah, he's in it just for the ego trip.

Hey! Those are all my placements!

click to expand

Really?

The notion that talking about exes or issues as a negative, is utterly silly. That's the real stuff of life, the shit we go through. If he's sharing that with you, he's being very real and that's something to cherish. Any guy can take you out to dinner and be fake confident like a dating show on TV. If I'm thinking of being serious about a girl, I will often throw the insecurities and the negatives I see in myself out there first, to see if she can handle it. If her response is about how I should cheer up and not be so negative, enjoy life...just "live, laugh, love" or some other cheesy shallowness, I know she can't handle my darker side and I see her as lacking depth.

Thanks Taurus, yeah I'm giving him space and I'll wait until he contacts me. I'm trying to learn how to go with the flow of things.

Yes cap venus wants to know where it stands right away gah.. but you're right juicy, even if we just end up being friends that would be awesome, because he's really coo.

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
The notion that talking about exes or issues as a negative, is utterly silly. That's the real stuff of life, the shit we go through. If he's sharing that with you, he's being very real and that's something to cherish. Any guy can take you out to dinner and be fake confident like a dating show on TV. If I'm thinking of being serious about a girl, I will often throw the insecurities and the negatives I see in myself out there first, to see if she can handle it. If her response is about how I should cheer up and not be so negative, enjoy life...just "live, laugh, love" or some other cheesy shallowness, I know she can't handle my darker side and I see her as lacking depth.

Alternatively, the notion that people are prepared to talk about their exes and insecurities as a dating "test" is outright calculating and plain ugly. The "real stuff" in life is admiring people for not letting all the shit affect their lives and certainly not heaping it on others.

What we have here is clearly a confused lady, no guy worth their salt is going to treat anyone like that with or without issues. If this is such a brilliant dating plan do tell me why she even has to come on here and ask for advice. Illogical.

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
The notion that talking about exes or issues as a negative, is utterly silly. That's the real stuff of life, the shit we go through. If he's sharing that with you, he's being very real and that's something to cherish. Any guy can take you out to dinner and be fake confident like a dating show on TV. If I'm thinking of being serious about a girl, I will often throw the insecurities and the negatives I see in myself out there first, to see if she can handle it. If her response is about how I should cheer up and not be so negative, enjoy life...just "live, laugh, love" or some other cheesy shallowness, I know she can't handle my darker side and I see her as lacking depth.

This is really good to know..

Posted by karialexcia
Thanks Taurus, yeah I'm giving him space and I'll wait until he contacts me. I'm trying to learn how to go with the flow of things.

Yes cap venus wants to know where it stands right away gah.. but you're right juicy, even if we just end up being friends that would be awesome, because he's really coo.

Your attitude is good; you're ok if he just wants to be friends, and I think he will respect that. And you'll grow on him more and more over time because that's just how we are. My SO is a Sag but has Cap moon, Merc, and Venus. She definitely wanted to take things alot faster than me, all throughout. I came along eventually, and it works well. Our first conversations were very deep and long, and all about insecurities and exes. lol.

It's okay Juicy 🙂.. It's all good.

hugs Juicy, sorry to hear that you were abused.

Taurus, thanks 🙂

Rich, It's true, but like if someone is comfortable enough to be vulnerable, that should be a good thing. right?

Posted by karialexcia


Rich, It's true, but like if someone is comfortable enough to be vulnerable, that should be a good thing. right?

Yes, if you're consistently dating. My irk isn't with the talking about insecurities and exes so much as talking about them AND THEN not holding to a date, and ignoring you when he asked when you liked him. Are you willingly going to accept that a relationship is all about him and his fragilities? Think about what you're getting yourself into, and if you're comfortable with the fact that you're going to have to willingly put up with treatment then by all means proceed.

I thought Taurus didn't talk about exes and surely dont want you talking about yours?

I think he is still hung up on his ex, and maybe that's why he is not responding. He doesn't sound available in all honesty.

Posted by RichCap


Alternatively, the notion that people are prepared to talk about their exes and insecurities as a dating "test" is outright calculating and plain ugly. The "real stuff" in life is admiring people for not letting all the shit affect their lives and certainly not heaping it on others.

What we have here is clearly a confused lady, no guy worth their salt is going to treat anyone like that with or without issues. If this is such a brilliant dating plan do tell me why she even has to come on here and ask for advice. Illogical.

Discussing the reality of life is never heaping your issues on others. It is being real. We all test and first dates and discussions should be tests, if there is attraction and availability present. We all need to test and weigh the responses and behavior of others alot more. Relationships are serious and have serious consequences so there is nothing at all wrong with being honest and direct, and seeing how someone else feels about it. I'd be more worried about a fake person who hides their shit, puts on a front that they are well-adjusted and perfect, as they are usually in denial or repressing their pain themselves, and will unknowingly be heaping it on you throughout the relationship after they court you with their "well-adjusted, confident, successful man" act. There's nothing illogical about her request for advice. Sharing the truth about our shortcomings, fears, failures, etc. is never a guarantee of a working relationship with any particular person. It just gives you more insight into what kind of issues you're going to be dealing with from the get-go.

We're confusing two very different things here - talking about exes while courting, and talking about exes while in a relationship. And also - is the bull yearning for his ex? Talking about how much he misses her, wished it had worked out, she was the love of his life, etc.? Or is it more about what he's been through, how he feels its affected him, what he didn't like, etc. Very different things....

Talking about exes is not something I do while *in* a relationship. When you're getting to know a person though, why not talk about past experiences with other partners? That is one of the best ways to get to know a person, their likes/dislikes, what they've been through, etc. I feel that a person only fears talking about those things when there really are still strong feelings there that they don't want to reveal. If I'm over a person romantically, I can be objective about the experience.

Posted by RichCap

Posted by karialexcia


Rich, It's true, but like if someone is comfortable enough to be vulnerable, that should be a good thing. right?

Yes, if you're consistently dating. My irk isn't with the talking about insecurities and exes so much as talking about them AND THEN not holding to a date, and ignoring you when he asked when you liked him. Are you willingly going to accept that a relationship is all about him and his fragilities? Think about what you're getting yourself into, and if you're comfortable with the fact that you're going to have to willingly put up with treatment then by all means proceed.

click to expand

I agree with this as far as the ignoring goes. I do think its good that he's being vulnerable, but its a two way street. Ignoring you in your vulnerability is not ok. I say wait it out, maybe he will respond, and just isn't ready or has been busy, wants to respond in person, etc. Bulls often need time to process, but I have seen a pattern of blatant avoidance like your bull is doing, in relationships with non-committal Taurus men. I don't think there's enough to go on yet with this one.

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Posted by RichCap


Alternatively, the notion that people are prepared to talk about their exes and insecurities as a dating "test" is outright calculating and plain ugly. The "real stuff" in life is admiring people for not letting all the shit affect their lives and certainly not heaping it on others.

What we have here is clearly a confused lady, no guy worth their salt is going to treat anyone like that with or without issues. If this is such a brilliant dating plan do tell me why she even has to come on here and ask for advice. Illogical.

Discussing the reality of life is never heaping your issues on others. It is being real. We all test and first dates and discussions should be tests, if there is attraction and availability present. We all need to test and weigh the responses and behavior of others alot more. Relationships are serious and have serious consequences so there is nothing at all wrong with being honest and direct, and seeing how someone else feels about it. I'd be more worried about a fake person who hides their shit, puts on a front that they are well-adjusted and perfect, as they are usually in denial or repressing their pain themselves, and will unknowingly be heaping it on you throughout the relationship after they court you with their "well-adjusted, confident, successful man" act. There's nothing illogical about her request for advice. Sharing the truth about our shortcomings, fears, failures, etc. is never a guarantee of a working relationship with any particular person. It just gives you more insight into what kind of issues you're going to be dealing with from the get-go.

click to expand

This will end up a circular argument, being well adjusted and confident to me means you can be honest and direct without having to bring your exes/issues into it as opposed to connecting over things that excite and energise you. But each to their own.

Her request for advice is not illogical, the fact that she is confused, they are not dating, and he can't even give her a response to a simple question is the bit thats illogical - that's if you're suggesting this is a normal healthy thing.

Posted by lnana04
I thought Taurus didn't talk about exes and surely dont want you talking about yours?

I think he is still hung up on his ex, and maybe that's why he is not responding. He doesn't sound available in all honesty.

Yep, I'm not sure he is emotionally available either... giving him space. If it happens great, if not we'll be friends.

Posted by RichCap


This will end up a circular argument, being well adjusted and confident to me means you can be honest and direct without having to bring your exes/issues into it as opposed to connecting over things that excite and energise you. But each to their own.

I think its a balance, like life itself; if all the person does is talk about wounds and negativity, obviously there's a problem. I think that's equally the case if its all about sunshine and rainbows.

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
We're confusing two very different things here - talking about exes while courting, and talking about exes while in a relationship. And also - is the bull yearning for his ex? Talking about how much he misses her, wished it had worked out, she was the love of his life, etc.? Or is it more about what he's been through, how he feels its affected him, what he didn't like, etc. Very different things....

Talking about exes is not something I do while *in* a relationship. When you're getting to know a person though, why not talk about past experiences with other partners? That is one of the best ways to get to know a person, their likes/dislikes, what they've been through, etc. I feel that a person only fears talking about those things when there really are still strong feelings there that they don't want to reveal. If I'm over a person romantically, I can be objective about the experience.

He was talking about reliability and how his is not .. and that he wants his stuff back, it's been a couple of years, and he can get new things, it's just the reliability thing that's the issue.

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Posted by RichCap


This will end up a circular argument, being well adjusted and confident to me means you can be honest and direct without having to bring your exes/issues into it as opposed to connecting over things that excite and energise you. But each to their own.

I think its a balance, like life itself; if all the person does is talk about wounds and negativity, obviously there's a problem. I think that's equally the case if its all about sunshine and rainbows.

click to expand

We're in agreement there though. Had I framed what I said around the fact that I've known a lot of musicians to make an art form of turning this into their life story and have many women buy into it you might have seen a different angle of what I'm saying. If you're in a dating phase and the conversation is honest and freeflowing then that's fine. I've just seen this pattern too many times not to be completely cynical about it.

it's not all negativity.. we would talk about anything.. it's just comfortable and I have never found that level of comfort communicating with anyone else right away before. He started listening to music I like and downloaded songs I suggested, and I watch shows he says I would like and I actually do a lot. SO it's not just about issues and exes. we've only spoken abt the ex once.

You keep reinforcing that you have never been able to communicate with someone so easily. Yet, you have had to text him to ask him whether he likes you, and he hasn't responded.

See how those things don't add up?

I mean when we are together.. face to face.. this is why is confusing.. face to face it's like awesome ...it's inconstant..

it*

Posted by aquansidenout
Y I understand this situation from both sides. Being an aquarius I hate to hear people complain about something over and over agin and not do something about it. I either start ignoring them or tell them to deal with it. However, having a lot of earth in my chart I look for solutions to problems and either offer suggestions or do it myself. To keep you all from arguing over nonsense quit telling him about the situation and complain to a friend,cop,landlord or family.

My friends will be biased. I just wanted to know if I messed up completely. I'm just going to leave it alone for awhile.

thanks for your input 🙂.

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Posted by Damnata
A musician with a Leo Moon/Mars and Gemini Venus?

Yeah, he's in it just for the ego trip.

Hey! Those are all my placements!

click to expand

Doesn't make it less true 😛.

I am going to emphasize on the musician part because that's one career where commmitment is a shot in the dark for most.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Posted by Damnata
A musician with a Leo Moon/Mars and Gemini Venus?

Yeah, he's in it just for the ego trip.

Hey! Those are all my placements!

Doesn't make it less true 😛.

I am going to emphasize on the musician part because that's one career where commmitment is a shot in the dark for most.

click to expand

do i come off as ego-driven? i thought i was super humble and self-effacing...🙂

she pm'ed me...her bull has same exact birthdate as me, year and all....

Are you a musician? 😛

Not anywhere as ego driven as ands, though you share that Leo Moon. But you do have a propensity to have the final word, you taurus you.

Posted by Damnata
Are you a musician? 😛

Not anywhere as ego driven as ands, though you share that Leo Moon. But you do have a propensity to have the final word, you taurus you.

I make music...but not in a band. All electronic. the band guys are different I presume, but since he's a 3rd decan bull, its really important for him to have a creative outlet, otherwise we usually struggle with addiction. Ands is hilarious - much funnier than I am. what happened to that guy? If you notice I really try to keep my Leo Moon under control. I think most Leo moons are really annoying and my Leo moon embarrasses me. My Cap Asc and Taurus sun have it pinned.

The final word thing. I try to be thorough in my responses. Its my consideration of what you're saying at the root of this, not my ego or pride. Ok, that is a lie. Do I do that here? I try not to; I forget these boards aren't about arguing for infinity. I majored into philosophy and I like to just argue and debate everything....forever. I realize this is annoying.

Well, if you see how Leo moons are really annoying you're already miles ahead from most of them.

My Aries moon is really impatient and quick to the trigger, still trying to master it.

Posted by Damnata
Well, if you see how Leo moons are really annoying you're already miles ahead from most of them.

My Aries moon is really impatient and quick to the trigger, still trying to master it.

lol....i annoy the hell out of myself....

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Posted by Damnata
Well, if you see how Leo moons are really annoying you're already miles ahead from most of them.

My Aries moon is really impatient and quick to the trigger, still trying to master it.

lol....i annoy the hell out of myself....

click to expand

lol how?

Posted by karialexcia


lol....i annoy the hell out of myself....

lol how?



Mostly just by existing, but a lot of times I will look back on my actions or words and they embarrass me. My thoughts even. Taurus Sun and Cap Ascendant are placements that I believe generally prefer to stay out of the spotlight. With a Leo Moon there is something in me that craves drama and the spotlight and my mind is constantly hatching plots along those lines, only to be scolded severely by the other more reserved aspects of my personality, that are disgusted with this sort of behavior.

Your sun and ascendant keeps you in check like super strict parents. I think it's okay to rebel every now and then lol

I'm a leo moon too and I know exactly what you are talking about. i also find myself being annoyed with myself, but I notice only on dxp lol.

I keep myself in check by reading posts by the other Leo moons, and I coach my moon "You see this? See how shameful this is? Is this what you want? because if we let you loose, this is where we wind up..."

Oh I'm going to check out some of those.. he probably feels this way too.. and could be overly critical of himself and others because of the Virgo ascendant.