How to please a grumpy taurus...

yah, yah, food....

So, I made dinner, it was a pretty decent stirfry, not enough for anyone, and I didn't make enough rice..by the time I served the children, there was less than three spoonfuls of rice, plus enough for one person to have a full meal..So I let him have it, I didn't tell him that there wasn't enough..

So what I did was put a new batch of rice on, ate the couple of spoonfulls of rice,and ate with the children, since he wasn't eating right away.

When they are finished with dinner and I'm gettin them ready for bed, he comes at me upset saying that it was "wrong of me" to eat up the rice and why he had to wait for his food.

"I would never do that to you" He says.

Mind you, this was brown rice, which takes a long time to cook..but it was the only rice that we have. So I apologized that I didn't make more..

The outcome of this was so fucking depressing for me, I just went to bed....

The basic gist, is that when he says things like that(ie. I would never do that to you), it ALWAYS has the undertone that "I don't care for him" when EVERY decision that I do is on the basis of "will or wont' he like this? Will he or won't he be okay with this"

For the most part, the only way I can deal with him when he's like this is just concede and not say anything because if I do say something it's just going to sound petty. And I loathe the idea of being petty over something like that..but it still hurts.

This is the Mars square Moon at work...how can you get past it, or work through it?

bleh EVERyone one, not Anyone

*brows raised* It's "wrong" of you to make a small error when you were making a pot of brown rice? Honestly he tried to belittle you over dinner. Oh piss on that noise, I'd have bounced a jar of Jif peanut butter off of his damned skull.
This isn't even about the rice, it's about him being a tick turd. Whoop de damned doo, he had to wait a bit. Man still ate did he not, and ate well.
If anything at all I'd have simply said "Woops, have to make more rice, didn't make enough. Children are going to have theirs while I make more." And ya damned right he should have known you really didn't eat much but a morsel and the leftovers off the childrens plates while he tucked in. There was zero need for apology on that score.
You should not have to live your life on auto-correct. Being mindful of everyones needs is one thing, but stressing about it and going to bed sad isn't doing you any favors lady.

haha get between a Taurus and his food...

I use to have this GF a while back... Such a SLOWWWW! eater.. And that by its self is no deal.. But she'd come over and cook dinner.. Sweet huh?? haha.. But this was when I had a bachelor's dinner set.. Which means I pretty much just ate out of the pot I cooked in, in the living room with 1 fork.. Since she cooked I'd always let her eat first, Well, that and once I got a hold of it it'd be gone before she'd see it again.. haha.. So I let her get what she wanted, then when she was done I'd chow down.. She was a really light eater to boot.. So I'd think 'cool, she'll be done in no time' HA!!! REALLY SLOW eater.. To the point that I felt like a puppy watching like a hawk for that one little scrap to hit the floor... hahha... One bite... 5mins... One bite... 5mins... She, completely oblivious to the fact that no, I'm not calmly watching tv with her, I'm staring at every pot to mouth move the fork makes, drool hanging out of the corners of my mouth.. Oblivious to why I've ask 'hey, you done' 500 times already... And a calm and simple 'No, I'm still eating'...

THE HELL YOU ARE!!! YOUR JUST SITTING THERE WATCHING TV WITH MY DINNER IN YOUR LAP, HOLDING THE FORK HALFWAY IN YOUR MOUTH!!!...

Hahaha....

Damn good way to have stabbing happen if you ask me.. lol..

Needless to say it happened enough to break a guy into going out and getting some more damn dishes...

😉

What a baby.

LOL,— you both.

*waving at Bells* 🙂 —

That learned you to buy some plates, saucers and bowls TaurGuy. 😛

Posted by TaurGuy
haha get between a Taurus and his food...

I use to have this GF a while back... Such a SLOWWWW! eater.. And that by its self is no deal.. But she'd come over and cook dinner.. Sweet huh?? haha.. But this was when I had a bachelor's dinner set.. Which means I pretty much just ate out of the pot I cooked in, in the living room with 1 fork.. Since she cooked I'd always let her eat first, Well, that and once I got a hold of it it'd be gone before she'd see it again.. haha.. So I let her get what she wanted, then when she was done I'd chow down.. She was a really light eater to boot.. So I'd think 'cool, she'll be done in no time' HA!!! REALLY SLOW eater.. To the point that I felt like a puppy watching like a hawk for that one little scrap to hit the floor... hahha... One bite... 5mins... One bite... 5mins... She, completely oblivious to the fact that no, I'm not calmly watching tv with her, I'm staring at every pot to mouth move the fork makes, drool hanging out of the corners of my mouth.. Oblivious to why I've ask 'hey, you done' 500 times already... And a calm and simple 'No, I'm still eating'...

THE HELL YOU ARE!!! YOUR JUST SITTING THERE WATCHING TV WITH MY DINNER IN YOUR LAP, HOLDING THE FORK HALFWAY IN YOUR MOUTH!!!...

Hahaha....

Damn good way to have stabbing happen if you ask me.. lol..

Needless to say it happened enough to break a guy into going out and getting some more damn dishes...

😉

LOL.. sadly enough, I can SO see this playing out as if I were watching a movie! LOLOL

Posted by LoveBucket
Girl, this ain't the Mars thing, this is a matter of Bulls take that eating thing very serious. When I read at the very beginning only a few few grains of rice left after feeding the children I went UH-OH because I knew from there, it was going downhill. It's not his Mars, what it is is the next time you shop, pick up that 12 pound bag of Uncle Ben's --you won't run out then!!

Also, with him making comments like "he wouldn't do that to you", how very precious of him -- is his Venus in Leo because we reign the "I wouldn't do that to you" arena!! 🙂 At the end of the day, it sounds like he's saying you are not thoughtful enough when it comes to him -- it sounds like he wants you to be a bit more thoughtful is all.

I'm no Taurus and I think you're a Virgo -- this is an opinion coming from an outsider looking in. 🙂

I'm a libra, and it's MY mars that's square HIS Moon..meaning that EVERYTHING I DO, seems to ANNOY the hell out of him.

My mars is in leo, his moon is in aquarius.

Posted by venusianbull
*brows raised* It's "wrong" of you to make a small error when you were making a pot of brown rice? Honestly he tried to belittle you over dinner. Oh piss on that noise, I'd have bounced a jar of Jif peanut butter off of his damned skull.
This isn't even about the rice, it's about him being a tick turd. Whoop de damned doo, he had to wait a bit. Man still ate did he not, and ate well.
If anything at all I'd have simply said "Woops, have to make more rice, didn't make enough. Children are going to have theirs while I make more." And ya damned right he should have known you really didn't eat much but a morsel and the leftovers off the childrens plates while he tucked in. There was zero need for apology on that score.
You should not have to live your life on auto-correct. Being mindful of everyones needs is one thing, but stressing about it and going to bed sad isn't doing you any favors lady.

One Jif——?? I'd have let loose with 3 Smuckers jars and chased him out of the house with the rolling pin.

Let the punishment fit the crime.

^^ Seriously, he should have sucked that one up like a big boy. Blackberry, black raspberry and strawberry, my FAVES. Good choices there.

And what the HELL was wrong with that girl, why wasn't she feeding you man? Like she was so absorbed she didn't notice mancakes there slavering, hearing his guts boing. *smh*

I got that bit. The fact that he was being a BRAT about the entire thing is what bothers me. GROW UP. So what if she used 2 c. rice to 4 c. water instead 4 and 8. My point was that 'shit happens', and for him to make her feel badly over that is ridiculous. Have a sammich if you're that hungry while the rice is perking. GTF over yourself ( his attitude ) is another phrase that springs to mind. He was having a sulk and making her feel like a child over it. It's a pot of rice. Perspective. He should have grabbed it with both hands.

Im shit at making rice, it always turns to mush 😢

I wouldn't make a huge production of it either, but I'd sure call him out for being a shit. This would be a non-issue to me as I cook for an army but from where I stand whether I put myself in his shoes or no, bottom line he's being a child. That..right there, is what makes the mother in me rear up and want to slam someone in the corner with a swat to the can for good measure. It's about a simple mistake. One that neither warrants an apology on her end, nor the behavior on his. If you address behavioral, it's taken care of. It's a slow progression from allowing little things to slide until they create a major problem.
Simple, if someone makes you feel poorer, tell them they're doing it. If they attempt to belittle you over something minor, call them out on it. That a woman went to bed upset, internalizing it instead of calling him out on it. That was her choice, however. I am not going to excuse his behavior a bit. He made a choice to laugh it off himself or be an ass. He chose the latter. She's not a *bad girl* because her Suzy Q. Homemaker button was on askew and dinner wasn't promptly there for him, it's about accessing the situation and being an adult.

Posted by dogsbody
Im shit at making rice, it always turns to mush 😢

Boil 2 c. water, pour in 1 c. rice. Stir with fork, tightly lid, turn flame down to lowest possible setting, walk away for 20 minutes, done. 🙂

Posted by LoveBucket
At the end of the day, it sounds like he's saying you are not thoughtful enough when it comes to him -- it sounds like he wants you to be a bit more thoughtful is all.

this is the gist of what I was trying to convey...this incident wasn't a matter of "abusive husband." or that he purposely feel like crap, (he didn't yell at me, he was genuinely hurt at the idea) I was depressed at the idea that he thought I NEVER think of him..when I feel that I do.

This is what I think about in that scenario (and since i'm a libra, it was pure torture).

I could have not ate nothing at all, and let him have that little bit of rice with the meal(he could have been upset at the fact that there was barely any rice for the meal.)

Posted by venusianbull

Posted by dogsbody
Im shit at making rice, it always turns to mush 😢

Boil 2 c. water, pour in 1 c. rice. Stir with fork, tightly lid, turn flame down to lowest possible setting, walk away for 20 minutes, done. 🙂

click to expand

A rice cooker is a fine invention lol

I never meant to infer you were abused if that's where your thought process was headed. It is very black and white to me to get things in the open where they belong and not have hurt feelings flipping round in heart or head. In my minds eye there are too many excuses made for his behavior when there isn't any. I don't live with the man, you do. But from this side of the cage looking in, it smacks of something repeated. A cycle of it. Perceived slight ( where there isn't one ) ..over-analyzation at misunderstanding, to apology to him ( where it isn't necessary ) to him being mollified over things yet leaving you feeling dissatisfied with the whole scene in general. They say we often wound the deepest those we love the most. I'd say he needs to be more considerate of you, not the other way around. How in any way, shape or form could someone take offense or perceive as a personal slight that because there wasn't enough to go around at that particular moment in time that it means you care any less? That makes NO sense to me, at all. What, you sat about all day and plotted and planned on how to get off a real zinger in his direction? Your modus operandi that day was to ensure his dinner was later than everyone elses? Like I said earlier, he needs to hop off that saddle and think. Little spores turn into puffballs out in the forest. Same/same to me. I would be and AM intolerant of this, and it may seem small now..but it won't be when you pan out wide and look at the big picture.

I understand. Thank you.

Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson

Posted by venusianbull
*brows raised* It's "wrong" Oh piss on that noise, I'd have bounced a jar of Jif peanut butter off of his damned skull.

One Jif——?? I'd have let loose with 3 Smuckers jars and chased him out of the house with the rolling pin.

Let the punishment fit the crime.

click to expand

Ya know, I was just thinking that I got to major league head butts from VeryNice just cause she thought one of my small jokes was a bit to self deprecating. One Jif, hardly!!!!!

Oh tell him to make his own fucking rice.

ROFLMAO —

Posted by venusianbull
*waving at Bells* 🙂 —

That learned you to buy some plates, saucers and bowls TaurGuy. 😛

Hi Veebers! ♥

Posted by LoveBucket
From my perspective, I look to see what part did I play in bringing out the reaction in him that he gave me and when I come up with I neglected to either run out or send one of the kids to the store for a box of rice when, come time to cook it I see there's not enough, THAT is where the issue lies. So to make him the bad guy over my negligence -- perspective -- I can't do that -- what I can do is accept the responsibility I played in it which is why instead of getting upset at his reaction, which is one I caused, I would tell him "yeah, you're right, I fucked up", and because he'd have a sense of humour otherwise he would not have made it past the gate from the jump, he'd of hit me with "whaaaaat? A Leo fucking up?!?!?! -- now that's a moment to remember for sure!! 🙂 ", ending with us both cracking up and that would have been that.

I agree wholeheartedly on us having different perspectives and, when it comes to him acting like a bratty baby, because of the perspective factor, I am more than good with agreeing to disagree. 🙂

Hence apology..but saying that "I never care about him?" That shit hurts me, he may as well just run me over with a MAC-truck.

Posted by ellessque

Posted by Candeh15

Posted by venusianbull

Posted by dogsbody
Im shit at making rice, it always turns to mush 😢

Boil 2 c. water, pour in 1 c. rice. Stir with fork, tightly lid, turn flame down to lowest possible setting, walk away for 20 minutes, done. 🙂

A rice cooker is a fine invention lol

rice cookers ROCK and there is always enough 😉

click to expand

I want one, we had one in my family growing up..I need to invest in one...seriously.

seriously, i've had actual physical fights with my taurus friend over food. don't mess! but yeah, it's like VB said per...spec...tive. you had to wait for food. i didn't knock you over the head with a rolling pin and leave you for dead.

don't let him make you feel bad! 🙂

*mumbling under breath* Stubborn ass NEEDS a good stiff clout to the head with a rolling pin alright..oh HI THERE! More tea? 😄

LOL!! :p

or even hit over the head with a frozen leg of lamb...cook the evidence post event 😄

Now that is absolutely brilliant. LOL *whistling innocently* Oh nothing much, just preparing dinner...😄 Oh dear..I see the lamb has something left behind on it, I'll just give it a washing up and into the oven it goes.

I don't mean to hijack, but I did end up making pancakes for my bull and surprised him with them last night. I made chocolate chip and cinnamon pancakes, although the cinnamon was a very subtle flavor. He said it was really adorable that I did that for him and he was going to actually have a decent breakfast this morning lol.

Now, I just hope he likes them... lol

I'm sure he will. 🙂