I Don't get Him..

I was dating a Taurus for a few months. It had its ups and downs. The push and pull.

For the last few weeks he didn't invite me out to do things and i felt slighted. I discussed with him that I didn't want to just be a FWB as I felt that's what we were becoming due to his actions. He agreed. He had a recent weekend business trip and he didn't bother to call me at all, even the day after he got back. So I told him when he's ready for a real relationship, to call me. He hasn't...

But he went and added me to his FB. Why? Know how hard that is to see him on there? I sent him a message.."I still miss you but your disappearing act hurts more" He hasn't answered. I don't know if he will.

How the heck do you get them to open up? Probably too late now but why add me as a friend if its over??

Oh I should add..I am a Capricorn. He has aqua moon which someone told me is why we're having issues...he'll act more aqua..

how long has it been since you have seen him?

was it a FWB situation from the beginning?

I'm sorry you're hurting over him not replying to you or calling you, but his actions mean he isn't interested in you. I'm of the opinion that he added you to his FB just to see if he could get away with it and you accepted his request. Then you sent him the FB message and I"m sure that fluffed his ego even more as if he thought "Yep, I've got her where I want her", but the problem is he doesn't know "where" that is because it's an ego thing.

You don't mention how long the FWB thing was going on. If you slept with him on the first day or closely after, maybe that turned him off?

i agree. the FB thing was most likely a cowardly "feeler." if you were done with him or wanted nothing to do with him, you would've denied his request. by accepting him as a friend, you let him know that the door is still open and essentially that he can walk through it at his convenience.

also, you said when he's ready for a real relationship, to call you.

you in turn sent him a FB msg in which you sounded whiny, needy and demonstrated a lack of self-confidence.

*icks*

for some men, usually the assholes, vulnerability is a turn-off. right now you're vulnerable and it shows. overall though, you want something real. he can't give it to you and thus, he's not responding. he's doing you a favor, so cut your losses and move on.

I sent a friend request like 2 weeks ago when we were still seeing each other. He accpeted it last night. Haven't seen him in 10 days. A cordial text chat 7 days ago..i thnaked him for his help with something when i got word back on the way it went.

We didnt sleep together until date 5 or 6. he initiated. I could have waited. The sexual chemistry was awesome. Couldn't get him to open up emotionally though. So no we didn't start out as fwb at all.

I dont think that message was needy. It was how i felt. I live, work, own my own home..

I agree with houstonpeach and caligula...

That being said you may not think your needy or feel needy but your email reeks neediness and that translates over to the other person.

Suggestion...Delete him from Facebook and don't allow him in again to hurt you this way, you deserve better and being that you own your own home, work hard, live a great life then you absolutely know you deserve better than what your receiving.

This guy is playing emotional head games with you and only you can be the person to stop it. If he's in and out of your life then he doesn't want anything serious with you, the sooner you accept this the easier it will be for you to move on to someone else. He's ignoring you and he's triggering you emotionally and turning you into a needy person and that's not who you are so don't be that person and you can start by deleting him from your life and not allowing him back in until he's proven his worthy of your time and energy.

Hi Cababy! How many months have you been seeing him? From what I've noticed with Taurus men is that how you present yourself, whether a fwb, friend, or girlfriend you will remain in one of those three early on and permanently. What I mean is that if you slept with him in the beginning he will probably keep you as a fwb. Most of them are pretty old fashioned and value women who are classy and etc. I'm not saying that you aren't but from his standpoint he may look at you as needy and willing to "give it up" easily. Those are huge turn offs for any man. The facebook add is not a big deal really, it's just for casual talk. But what you have with him is a fwb since he hasn't opened up to you emotionally. That's the whole point of it; sex without emotional attachment or commitment. Not trying to be harsh, but I'm just going by everything what you've stated.

God..the man is 56..I thought he'd be over head games. he came on so stroong telling me he was looking for a relationship and not to get involved unless I wanted one. Being 40+ I did want one and fell for him. And then he did a sudden reversal. So we've been on and off on and off..this is the longest hes gone without talking to me.

Hurts too much to see his name on FB so I'm gonna block him..why did he even bother! i told him last week that until he can figure his ass out, don't contact me. I have to wonder if he's just spying.. he has his set so i can't really even see anything..

And i haven't waited around the last 10 days. I've been on 2 dates with 2 different people to give them a chance. Didn't like either one,hahaha.

And to heal my achy-breaky heart..I'm going out with a friend tonight vs sitting home and sulk🙂

Just delete him from your FB. If he's the kind to post things on FB, it'll just upset you to see the things he's doing without you.

I'm about to go on a tangent here, but I was just watching one of my reality shows, and there's a Leo lady on there married to a Taurus. They've been married for 16yrs, and have had 16 weddings. Their philosophy is the more time you spend planning for a wedding, the less time you spend planning for a divorce.

Anyway, so they showed them exchanging vows and I wish I had a clip to show the way he looked at her as she said her vows. She was confident, secure, yet her tone was sweet and sincere and he looked at her almost like it was everything he needed to hear and she was everything he needed her to be, and she reassured him she will always be that to him.

My point is, it just dawned on me that they need a woman who is stronger than they are. I think everybody have a lot to offer, and I'd like to think we are all at least a bit selective in who we offer it to, but maybe women don't get the best out of Taurus men by being the vulnerable, more emotional, or needy ones in the relationship. Nothing is wrong with that, but from what I saw of him(the taurus), it's almost like he'd be more comfortable in that role than she would. He is a provider and gentleman from what I see, but she's the emotional rock and security blanket that reassures him just the way he needs.

I think in your situation, this guy pulling back, especially after initially being persistent, is him saying that you are not giving him what he needs. That he can't be there for you the way you would like, and you can't do that for him. Thing is, I think Capricorn women are very submissive by nature, and some of us need/desire extremely strong men, men stronger than we are, so that's probably where it clashes, but since the signs are "suppose" to be compatible maybe there's a way to work around it where both needs are met, or at-least appear to be loll.

Inana..very interesting insight. I was always giving to him. food, we went where he wanted to go, i used to massage him, etc. I actually felt slighted that he was never giving to me like I see other women on here describe their taurus men. very self-centered.

I've always felt he was scared. And that is why he has walked.. I know in my heart if he had just tried, we would have worked. he has a hurting soul and i couldn't heal it i guess.

I didn't defriend him. But I don't let him see my wall now. I feel like he just added me to spy.

i felt I was the stronger one,lol. But maybe that's why I like Aries men. I am cap with Aries rising. He is Taurus with cap rising.

You cannot compare a man that is RECIPROCATING to a man that is not reciprocating in a relationship, their just isn't any comparison between the 2, that man isn't running in and out of his wife's life, he's a solid source of comfort for his wife, he's a provider, a giver and he has respect for his woman, that's not what is going on for capbaby, this man dangled a relationship in her face, made it appear that he wanted a relationship and then he disappeared...Who does that? This is a recurring theme with many of the women that are going through this in and out nonsense.

She has cooked the man food, massaged his body, supportive, given of her time and energy and what does he do, RUN, sorry but that is not a man that needs nor wants reassurance, that's a man that wants the benefits that come with companionship but isn't willing to reciprocate or give back.

Not only would I defriend him, I would block him too LOL that's just me, I know it appears I'm being a hard ass bitch but given the annoyance and frustration that comes from these kind of men that encourage women to love then and dangle relationships in women face only to bail out well IMO he deserves it.

I'm not comparing the two, which was why I said I was going on a tangent. I gave an example of a Taurus man in a healthy relationship to give an idea, or my opinion of, what it seem Taurus men need from women in general. I said that there probably is something putting him off about her, and vice-versa, which is why they are at that point.

"I said that there probably is something putting him off about her, and vice-versa, which is why they are at that point."

Well if he's put off by a woman that is doing her best to make him feel important then he's a damn fool IMO.

He's not oblivious, she discussed with him that she didn't want an FWB relationship, he agreed with her, no contact from since up until he added her to his FB, she sent a friends request 2 weeks prior before they stopped seeing one another, he's 56 and can't have that many damn friend request waiting that he couldn't add her when they were on good terms. He's pulling her strings by adding her to FB, no attempts to say hello after the add, she ended up emailing him and he didn't even reply to her last attempt at contact, oh gosh Elle with your enabling excuse making ass LOL

if she really wants to break ties with him, she'll delete him from her FB. Whether it was an old or a new request, the fact is he accepted it. He's stringing her along and it's not fair to her. He's 56 years old..is this what I have to look forward to...do the boys ever grow up?

Valid point Elle IMO he's not oblivious, he has a pattern of push pull with her, why should the FB add be any different, just another push pull scenario playing itself out, no big deal I guess since that seems to be his relationship pattern with her.

I stick to my original advice: she needs to delete him from his FB because if she's caught up in the fact that he won't respond, then she's going to be upset reading his wall posts.

Posted by tiki33
"I said that there probably is something putting him off about her, and vice-versa, which is why they are at that point."

Well if he's put off by a woman that is doing her best to make him feel important then he's a damn fool IMO.

He is, but I'd like to think that when he meets the one that he feels is right for him he'll act right.

@56 he's hopeless lol

Posted by tiki33
@56 he's hopeless lol

Aw, don't say that lol.

Tiki..exactly how i feel.

Update..i woke up this morning to a text from him he sent at 1:30am. I had my phone off.

He said.."helped my friend thurs and fri night. then so and so sat. Asleep when u text me."

HUH? I text him fri night late...after he added me to FB. And he didn't have 2 minutes to contact me? Ok, maybe he had to have time to think, I'll give him that. But he also saw last night on FB that i went out Fri and sat night.

he added me to spy..i just know it...only when i cut him off did he contact me.

Now how do i respond to him? What do i say? I think he's scared. I want him in my life if its possible but things have to change. I don't want to get back on the merry-go-round with him to get same result.

'he's put off by a woman that is doing her best to make him feel important then he's a damn fool '

God I love that statement! 🙂

I ended up texting him.."ok..well when you can make me a priority like your friends, then call me, because I am not an option."

silence...

capbaby, yeah, he was spying on you. some of them seem to do that, especially with us cappies. my little taurus friend spied on his ex cap girlfriend and on me. i think it all boils down to insecurity and trust issues. checking someone's facebook isn't a big thing, but checking to keep tabs on them and finally deciding to call when you see they are trying to move on, or at-least enjoy themselves, is not good.

it is best to defriend him like houstonpeach said, especially if he's only going to call when he thinks he's about to loose you. thats no good for you. if you really want to stop the merry-go-round, you would delete him completely, because you are just starting it all over again. don't wait to see what he's going to say. he's a thinker, and all its going to do will be something to hook you again.

he's not ready to step up and it's clear.

' especially if he's only going to call when he thinks he's about to loose you.'

Thats exactly what he does!

He doesn't want to claim you, but can't stand the thought of anyone else doing so, eh? Tough. 🙂

Agree with Inana and honestly at the age of 56 if he hasn't figured it out yet then he obviously never will thus being stuck into 3 year old land like so many other men that can't quite get it together. Delete him and move on, if he want back in don't make it easy for him, MAKE HIM WORK FOR IT, he'll be less apt to take you for granted when he has to work and earn his way back in. I can almost promise you if you delete him you'll see a new man flash before your very eyes.

Posted by tiki33
Agree with Inana and honestly at the age of 56 if he hasn't figured it out yet then he obviously never will thus being stuck into 3 year old land like so many other men that can't quite get it together. Delete him and move on, if he want back in don't make it easy for him, MAKE HIM WORK FOR IT, he'll be less apt to take you for granted when he has to work and earn his way back in. I can almost promise you if you delete him you'll see a new man flash before your very eyes.

***FLASH***

oh yeah, give it to me baby

he hasnt called or text since i tetx him what i did. He's on restricted access so he cant really see anything. But then i can't see his either,lol.

Eh..I've been on other dates since he disappeared since its not like i am holding my breath he's ever coming back..

you deserve a phone call, text messaging is one the most laziest disconnected ways of communicating with women, you most likely was sold on his potential and now you see he's not really what you thought he was, it happens.

Posted by tiki33
You cannot compare a man that is RECIPROCATING to a man that is not reciprocating in a relationship, their just isn't any comparison between the 2, that man isn't running in and out of his wife's life, he's a solid source of comfort for his wife, he's a provider, a giver and he has respect for his woman, that's not what is going on for capbaby, this man dangled a relationship in her face, made it appear that he wanted a relationship and then he disappeared...Who does that? This is a recurring theme with many of the women that are going through this in and out nonsense.

She has cooked the man food, massaged his body, supportive, given of her time and energy and what does he do, RUN, sorry but that is not a man that needs nor wants reassurance, that's a man that wants the benefits that come with companionship but isn't willing to reciprocate or give back.

Not only would I defriend him, I would block him too LOL that's just me, I know it appears I'm being a hard ass bitch but given the annoyance and frustration that comes from these kind of men that encourage women to love then and dangle relationships in women face only to bail out well IMO he deserves it.

Yep....

'text messaging is one the most laziest disconnected ways of communicating with women, you most likely was sold on his potential and now you see he's not really what you thought he was, it happens. '

-texting was pretty much all he did do.

-absolutely. I felt lied to. he led me to believe one thing and then reversal when he knew he 'had me' so to speak.

And why is it when i post something on my wall on FB within minutes he seemingly shows up there. Does that mean I am connected to his sms thru phone??

know what..I'm just going to delete him. he has my number and knows where I live if he wants to communicate with me🙂

Posted by capbaby
know what..I'm just going to delete him. he has my number and knows where I live if he wants to communicate with me🙂

Thank you! It's what I said TWICE.

Too funny.

So I google Kristin Cavallari(cap) to see her performance on dancing with the stars that I missed tonight. What do I see instead? Stories of her and her ex Jay Cutler(taurus) possibly patching things up and getting back together. They were engaged and he dumped her and broke off the engagement about a month or two ago. She was devastated, of course, and said she's on Dancing with the Stars to get her mind off of things. She's been doing good so far in her performance and rumors were starting of her linking up with her partner, but guess who is trying to creep back in her life? Jay cutler. All over her twitter and now want to patch things up because she's trying to move on. I wish poor Kristin had this board lol.

Capbaby, again, please delete this guy.

i blocked him. and then I get up this morning to a message from him on another site saying.."nice pics".

wth??

ellse..u are so way off base...

Did I not say "I can almost promise you if you delete him you'll see a new man flash before your very eyes" LOL

I am so not surprised that he's attempting contact, throw a mental challenge in front of a man and he'll come running. Don't answer his email, just forget him for a little while, let him work to capture your attention (that's if you want him/still interested in him romantically) if you don't want him then forget about him and move on to someone a bit more mature than this guy.

This guy is so immature, I wonder if he's heard of a thing called calling, he seems desperate to stay disconnected from you but uses technology to stay close, what a weirdo.

Tiki..yep u nailed it. As far as i am concerned its over. If he messages me again on the other site, I will block him there too. If he wants to talk to me he knows my number ...not follow me around online..

Posted by lnana04
Too funny.

So I google Kristin Cavallari(cap) to see her performance on dancing with the stars that I missed tonight. What do I see instead? Stories of her and her ex Jay Cutler(taurus) possibly patching things up and getting back together. They were engaged and he dumped her and broke off the engagement about a month or two ago. She was devastated, of course, and said she's on Dancing with the Stars to get her mind off of things. She's been doing good so far in her performance and rumors were starting of her linking up with her partner, but guess who is trying to creep back in her life? Jay cutler. All over her twitter and now want to patch things up because she's trying to move on. I wish poor Kristin had this board lol.

Capbaby, again, please delete this guy.

The luck of a Cap lol.

So on last nights show, Jay Cutler(the Taurus) actually flew to LA to show support. Rumors are they are back together. Anyway, she did pretty good last night, got a score of 24/30, and tonight she was eliminated lol. Was that a jinx or what? We'll see how long he sticks around now. That will be such a stupid look to get dumped twice by the same guy, and in the worst way since he called off the engagement. Just read the story of her elimination on a blog, and I'm not the only one that feels he came back around because she was trying to move on, and because she was on the show. Kristin is toast.

that's enough with my celebrity drama lol.