Staying motivated with a Bull

I'm always learning something new about the Bull and having become more open minded, I find myself to be much calmer!! Lol!!

I find that unlike other signs I've dated that gives you feedback/reassurance in some way, the Bull makes you feel unsure you're even getting anywhere. (Well for me anyway) Which makes it hard to sometimes carry on confidently. A subtle nod would do!

I think I may have had a break through here, but I would sometimes msg my Bull and not get a response for weeks! (I know he is currently jobless right now, doesn't really want to talk about it, so used to often feel shut out) when I try to make contact again I realize he hasn't forgotten my msg, or what I said so I began just sending msgs of encouragement knowing I won't get an answer only to find he remembered them all and said he appreciated them.

(Feel free to correct me Bulls/Cows if I'm off)

So for those trying to figure Bulls out, for me It can be hard to stay motivated when not much is being returned but they definitely don't forget you for it.

Patience and Persistence. A daily struggle to keep balanced but you can only but try!

He doesn't respond to you for weeks? Are you sure you're together?

@Johnthebaptist100 here's a quick run down. We were together years ago, I ended it. He spent the following years saying "Hello, I'm here!!" In various ways..."when are we meeting up?" (No was not a viable answer it seems) "Are you ignoring me!" Non stop!!

So here I am finally...I have spoken to him about not replying before...he starts panicking, apologizing, saying he was going to reply etc etc total opposite to when he was trying to get my attention, so bashful and just kind of whatever I want really. He was so nervous when we met up again since I gave in a couldn't even look at me without turning away and blushing it was weird.

Not only is he jobless, but his ex (whom he has child with) can be very difficult. Not to mention his mother passing with no warning. (Lots of guilt associated with that) so he's alway "fine" which he is not but he tries to show me that side. I feel like saying "I've known you for 8yrs, do you really think I care you're not perfect!" But he is fully aware that one of the reasons we split the first time was he didn't have his butter together and definitely remembers it like it happened an hour ago!

@jeane haha! I know right! To be fair this is only the 2nd time it has been left for weeks. Normally I find if he doesn't respond within an hour he will get distracted happens all the time. Just roll my eyes and carry on, as he normally has a long story to explain when I do get hold of him. Lol

Sounds like he doesnt trust you yet. I suppose you have to assess if you are willing to wait until he does.

I think the job search is really stressing him out. When i was jobless, i checkout from all my relationships, but i had moments when i really wanted to see my bf aswell to be in a happy place for a few moments.

Mayne he is broke ans feels wothless. Try to be supportive and let him come to you.

@espresso thanks for this. I must say he is very sensitive to me ignoring him. He thinks I did about 5 years ago (he could have contacted me but didn't and expected me to) and will never let me forgot it...EVER!! So I don't want it to seem like I'm ignoring him but on the other hand I'm not sure what to say that doesn't sound stupid or trivial

Posted by Thoughtful
@Johnthebaptist100 here's a quick run down. We were together years ago, I ended it. He spent the following years saying "Hello, I'm here!!" In various ways..."when are we meeting up?" (No was not a viable answer it seems) "Are you ignoring me!" Non stop!!

So here I am finally...I have spoken to him about not replying before...he starts panicking, apologizing, saying he was going to reply etc etc total opposite to when he was trying to get my attention, so bashful and just kind of whatever I want really. He was so nervous when we met up again since I gave in a couldn't even look at me without turning away and blushing it was weird.

Not only is he jobless, but his ex (whom he has child with) can be very difficult. Not to mention his mother passing with no warning. (Lots of guilt associated with that) so he's alway "fine" which he is not but he tries to show me that side. I feel like saying "I've known you for 8yrs, do you really think I care you're not perfect!" But he is fully aware that one of the reasons we split the first time was he didn't have his butter together and definitely remembers it like it happened an hour ago!

@jeane haha! I know right! To be fair this is only the 2nd time it has been left for weeks. Normally I find if he doesn't respond within an hour he will get distracted happens all the time. Just roll my eyes and carry on, as he normally has a long story to explain when I do get hold of him. Lol

grief has been a huge struggle with me as a bull. i went thru many bouts of depression before i healed and even now i have my rough days. you are doing well being supportive just dont be a doormat. sure hes going thru a lot but remind him you two are a team so he can lean on you in his time of need. i know i didnt/dont bother people with my emotional crap because i dont want to burden them but thats not even giving the person a chance to be supportive. if this lasts or becomes worse, id be worried. for now, you are doing well to be as supportive and loving as possible during this difficult time. hopefully you two can sit down at some point and really express your feelings. i feel like there may be some hesitation on your part bc of his withdrawal. it doesnt hurt to prod us along bc sometimes we need it.

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by Thoughtful
@espresso thanks for this. I must say he is very sensitive to me ignoring him. He thinks I did about 5 years ago (he could have contacted me but didn't and expected me to) and will never let me forgot it...EVER!! So I don't want it to seem like I'm ignoring him but on the other hand I'm not sure what to say that doesn't sound stupid or trivial

As I said above, you have both been down this route before and it does not feel like it has any potential to try and "salvage" what you once had. U are an ex of many years ago... Just stay friends and move on...

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I'm happy to just be friends with him and I always was after we ended and I met someone else, got married then divorced sadly, but on a number of occasions he kept saying he never has a window to do anything with me and always wonders what it would be like if we were still together. We were talking fine for the last year, regularly etc then his mum and his job and then it went sideways

I don't disagree with you just saying I wasn't trying to force a pace

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by Thoughtful
@Johnthebaptist100 here's a quick run down. We were together years ago, I ended it. He spent the following years saying "Hello, I'm here!!" In various ways..."when are we meeting up?" (No was not a viable answer it seems) "Are you ignoring me!" Non stop!!

So here I am finally...I have spoken to him about not replying before...he starts panicking, apologizing, saying he was going to reply etc etc total opposite to when he was trying to get my attention, so bashful and just kind of whatever I want really. He was so nervous when we met up again since I gave in a couldn't even look at me without turning away and blushing it was weird.

Not only is he jobless, but his ex (whom he has child with) can be very difficult. Not to mention his mother passing with no warning. (Lots of guilt associated with that) so he's alway "fine" which he is not but he tries to show me that side. I feel like saying "I've known you for 8yrs, do you really think I care you're not perfect!" But he is fully aware that one of the reasons we split the first time was he didn't have his butter together and definitely remembers it like it happened an hour ago!

@jeane haha! I know right! To be fair this is only the 2nd time it has been left for weeks. Normally I find if he doesn't respond within an hour he will get distracted happens all the time. Just roll my eyes and carry on, as he normally has a long story to explain when I do get hold of him. Lol

grief has been a huge struggle with me as a bull. i went thru many bouts of depression before i healed and even now i have my rough days. you are doing well being supportive just dont be a doormat. sure hes going thru a lot but remind him you two are a team so he can lean on you in his time of need. i know i didnt/dont bother people with my emotional crap because i dont want to burden them but thats not even giving the person a chance to be supportive. if this lasts or becomes worse, id be worried. for now, you are doing well to be as supportive and loving as possible during this difficult time. hopefully you two can sit down at some point and really express your feelings. i feel like there may be some hesitation on your part bc of his withdrawal. it doesnt hurt to prod us along bc sometimes we need it.

click to expand

I am hesitating because friend or partner I hate bothering ppl. He has said to just msg or call I'm not bothering him and it might take longer to respond sometimes but it feels weird to me. I must agree the few times I've had to prod him he's fine but it just doesn't feel comfortable

Posted by Thoughtful

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by Thoughtful
@Johnthebaptist100 here's a quick run down. We were together years ago, I ended it. He spent the following years saying "Hello, I'm here!!" In various ways..."when are we meeting up?" (No was not a viable answer it seems) "Are you ignoring me!" Non stop!!

So here I am finally...I have spoken to him about not replying before...he starts panicking, apologizing, saying he was going to reply etc etc total opposite to when he was trying to get my attention, so bashful and just kind of whatever I want really. He was so nervous when we met up again since I gave in a couldn't even look at me without turning away and blushing it was weird.

Not only is he jobless, but his ex (whom he has child with) can be very difficult. Not to mention his mother passing with no warning. (Lots of guilt associated with that) so he's alway "fine" which he is not but he tries to show me that side. I feel like saying "I've known you for 8yrs, do you really think I care you're not perfect!" But he is fully aware that one of the reasons we split the first time was he didn't have his butter together and definitely remembers it like it happened an hour ago!

@jeane haha! I know right! To be fair this is only the 2nd time it has been left for weeks. Normally I find if he doesn't respond within an hour he will get distracted happens all the time. Just roll my eyes and carry on, as he normally has a long story to explain when I do get hold of him. Lol

grief has been a huge struggle with me as a bull. i went thru many bouts of depression before i healed and even now i have my rough days. you are doing well being supportive just dont be a doormat. sure hes going thru a lot but remind him you two are a team so he can lean on you in his time of need. i know i didnt/dont bother people with my emotional crap because i dont want to burden them but thats not even giving the person a chance to be supportive. if this lasts or becomes worse, id be worried. for now, you are doing well to be as supportive and loving as possible during this difficult time. hopefully you two can sit down at some point and really express your feelings. i feel like there may be some hesitation on your part bc of his withdrawal. it doesnt hurt to prod us along bc sometimes we need it.

I am hesitating because friend or partner I hate bothering ppl. He has said to just msg or call I'm not bothering him and it might take longer to respond sometimes but it feels weird to me. I must agree the few times I've had to prod him he's fine but it just doesn't feel comfortable

click to expand

sometimes in love we must step outside of our comfortability. the better the communication, the stronger the relationship. just know when enough is enough. assess your life and see where he and this fits in. its selfish yes but its your life. you only get one and you are entitled to pursue whatever happiness is out there for you. you must be happy in your life before you can add happiness to anothers. love is not easy. and it does take time. so my first expression will always be to try to make it work until it just doesnt. love is always worth the effort even if the end result isnt what you thought it would be. you'll always be happy in the efforts you made.

Posted by Thoughtful
@espresso thanks for this. I must say he is very sensitive to me ignoring him. He thinks I did about 5 years ago (he could have contacted me but didn't and expected me to) and will never let me forgot it...EVER!! So I don't want it to seem like I'm ignoring him but on the other hand I'm not sure what to say that doesn't sound stupid or trivial

Humm very confusing indeed. As a Taurus i don't like to be ignored aswell.

Maybe it's time to have a straight forward talk with him, this will not scare away a taurus. Try to balance between being understanding, and leaving the ball in his court.