What I Think is NOT the Same As What I Feel

Grrrr! I'm annoyed and I can't figure out if it's more at him or myself.

So the Pisces guy. I really, really, really like him. OK more than like, but he doesn't feel the same way. Or he's just screwed up. It doesn't matter which because the results are the same. So we're friends with benefits. We're truly friends. He has my back and I appreciate his reassuring presence and kindness. We hang out. We have what I FEEL is beautiful passionate soul stirring sex. It's not. He'll stay the night, but won't cuddle because he "only cuddles in a relationship". And we have cuddled before, but there was a point where he did stop. We can cuddle on the couch, we can cuddle before sex, even in the morning...just not right after.

So today I tell him that "I have realized that sex with him has meant more to me than it should have. I genuinely truly wanted to cuddle with him. I have had casual sex before and didn't want to cuddle. No "no cuddle rule" necessary. With casual sex you just get your nut and its done."

His response was "Wow, ok...damn. That's how you feel?"I responded "no, that's just how I figure"(that it was just benefit sex). He said again "No its cool, you said how you felt." Now he won't talk to me.

I do think he's partly offended by me saying he's just getting a nut, but at the same time HE'S the one with the rule against cuddling. HE'S the one who won't move forward with having a relationship. Why am I wrong for calling it how I see it?

How am I being petty?

Been here before myself with a Pisces same deal

Eventually they get the feels but they are so wishy washy they like to throw you off so they can play fantasy games in their head all day - things that are for sure and solid and steady like Taurus bore them

Most likely You will get over it in favour of going to find a decent man who can give you what you want and treat you properly (in my case at least) at that point the Pisces will suddenly want to be around you and you won't be able to get rid of them (usually when a man presents itself and the Pisces jealousy kicks in) ...they only want you when they realise someone else does too sadly in my experience so they can resume mental fantasy .. mind you they are so lost in their own fantasy land delusional muddy water they won't ever voice what they think though sometimes i think you are either supposedly psychically supposed to know or they think they have told you

How a Taurus can deal with such blah behaviour is unknown to me being you are so solid .. trust me the Pisces game gets tiring and you will start to count the wasted time

Do yourself a favour and keep it moving so many better guys out there .. their loss

The title of this post "What I Think is NOT the Same As What I Feel" then, I scroll down and read this "So we're friends with benefits"

He'll stay the night, but won't cuddle because he "only cuddles in a relationships then "no cuddle rule" necessary. With casual sex you just get your nut and its done." Then, HE'S the one with the rule against cuddling. HE'S the one who won't move forward with having a relationship.

friends with benefits meaning: having a sexual realtionship without being emotionally involved.

Smh at you for not knowing what the hell you want and for him with his damn miscommunication problems.

Posted by WiseOwl
The title of this post "What I Think is NOT the Same As What I Feel" then, I scroll down and read this "So we're friends with benefits"

He'll stay the night, but won't cuddle because he "only cuddles in a relationships then "no cuddle rule" necessary. With casual sex you just get your nut and its done." Then, HE'S the one with the rule against cuddling. HE'S the one who won't move forward with having a relationship.

friends with benefits meaning: having a sexual realtionship without being emotionally involved.

Smh at you for not knowing what the hell you want and for him with his damn miscommunication problems.

You must've scrolled right past the first line "I don't know if I am more annoyed with myself or him"

I can acknowledge that we both played a part.

Lol I swear some f yall are in SUCH a rush to judge that comprehension skills are nigh.

Did you NOT read that I said I FELT like it was more than friends with benefits....I told him I realize it's meant entirely TOO much to me based on a recent conversation....

Start again from the beginning, go slow. Every line counts.

Posted by soundsunscene
Been here before myself with a Pisces same deal

Eventually they get the feels but they are so wishy washy they like to throw you off so they can play fantasy games in their head all day - things that are for sure and solid and steady like Taurus bore them

Most likely You will get over it in favour of going to find a decent man who can give you what you want and treat you properly (in my case at least) at that point the Pisces will suddenly want to be around you and you won't be able to get rid of them (usually when a man presents itself and the Pisces jealousy kicks in) ...they only want you when they realise someone else does too sadly in my experience so they can resume mental fantasy .. mind you they are so lost in their own fantasy land delusional muddy water they won't ever voice what they think though sometimes i think you are either supposedly psychically supposed to know or they think they have told you

How a Taurus can deal with such blah behaviour is unknown to me being you are so solid .. trust me the Pisces game gets tiring and you will start to count the wasted time

Do yourself a favour and keep it moving so many better guys out there .. their loss

Geez! You're right. I thought he cared, but I know exactly what you mean. I've dealt with a Pisces before. I dont know how I misconstrued his interest. I moved on from this guy, got into a relationship and was there 6 months. He showed up soon after I was single and we've picked up from there. He seems more attentive this time, but it's probably because it jealousy hasn't simmered.

Thank you for offering TRUE insight and advice instead of just wanting to toss judgement.

His jealousy *

Not every pisces play this game. I know I do not... I guess it is because of my Taurus moon and venus.

I would say that he does like you, because he keeps coming back and it's not only for a nut. Pisces men are alluring and can just nut easily and not worry about hurting one person that they keep coming back to.

He may just not be ready for a relationship, which is why he pulled back. I don't think he sees you as only sex, but I don't think he wants a relationship or wants one with you in particular.

Pisces are suckers for relationships...when we find the one. We can be finicky about choosing a person though... just like how you bulls can be.

If you want to stick around fine... one poster suggested going with the flow which is good. We don't like to be "captured" let our hearts drift to you... which it tends to do. He probably felt that pull with all the cuddling and disconnected a bit from that, but still does it. *shrugs*

Did he get hurt recently or something?

I don't know what's going on with him. And I'm not going to make excuses for him. He relishes in the affection and attention I show him while maintaining his distance as he pleases and I've allowed it because I want to be closer to him.

I don't know what he wants, but I do know what he will take. He keeps saying we can be in a relationship if I relocate but I think that's only because he knows I don't want to. The day I say I'm ready to move he'll most likely retreat so quickly my head would spin.

I dont want to continue to do so much while he plays it safe.

I wasted 9 years being obsessed, in love, lust whatever with the fantasy of it all .. it was such a lesson to me that I will never allow behaviour like that sort of Pisces in my life again as far as a love interest .. I can't get rid of him now no matter how hard I try ...but I won't give it up to him any more because being with a Taurus feels so much better lol and that's what I want from a man ..

Problem is you can't count on a Pisces words as they can literally wake up the next day and change their mind about something and pretend like it's never been said (that could be the word love, marriage talk of babies anything)

Just remember they live in fantasy land especially if they had troubled childhoods as it's an escape mechanism

It's a very rocky road if they are very "Pisces" never knowing quite where you stand how anyone would want that is unknown to me unless you are commitment phobic maybe

Pisces also are all about how you make them feel not the other way around

That's exactly what happened sound!

We talked last night and he was like "I don't cuddle right after sex because I just need a moment. I'll cuddle after. I may even surprise you and cuddle right after sometimes. Don't EVER take that personally. I want our time together to be meaningful. It isnt casual"...like he NEVER said he only cuddles when he is in a relationship. I guess at that moment he did say that I was supposed to force his hand, tell him he's in a relationship and we will cuddle dammit! Or maybe I was just supposed to say I want his cuddles and a relationship.

I don't want to waste time, but I also know I am impatient. I just want a sign that I'm on the right path and that with patience it will all work out.

Sounds like he has fear of commitment/is emotionally unavailable as opposed to a star sign issue ?

I would start looking for those signs and if so

RUN

Maybe jumping to conclusions was the wrong way to go about it, maybe you should have asked him directly how he felt, what he wants out of your relationship etc..,

Lol. When fwb demands relationship goal.

The fact she agreed. She needs attention and cuddle? Come on. Wake up.stop analyzing the guy. He does not owe you anything. It was just sex. Move on. Stop playing like a fool.

Lol I don't even know where to respond on some of these responses.

Don't leave us AneemA!

He says he wants a relationship, but he doesn't want a "long distance relationship". We live about 45 minutes away from one another. I don't want to move because my job and family is here and he lives in a VERY rural area. He doesn't want to move because his family and job is there and I live in an urban area. We have been circling one another like tops for about 2 years now. We bump off one another whenever we get to this damn relocation stalemate. I want an official relationship status, maybe engagement even, before I even consider moving. He doesn't want a long distance relationship period.

I should have never insinuated it was just a nut. I know it isn't. We've never said "we're friends with benefits". I don't know what we are, I just don't want to get caught up in my feelings with it seemingly like he won't budge unless I load up the UHAUL and head to Green Acres.

Engagement ? Your not even getting a hug

He's playing you

If anything Pisces doesn't mind a bit of distance it gives them time to play out fantasy and they LOVE the build up to meeting all the time when they see you and they get their space as they like alone time too

Pisces can be really passionate when they feel love it's part of their composition all their water flowing around ..

I dare you to put this on the Pisces board they will tell you the deal straight up

So far the Pisces board has pretty much said LDRs are not for them......one said they would try.

Posted by SweetestFatale
Grrrr! I'm annoyed and I can't figure out if it's more at him or myself.

So the Pisces guy. I really, really, really like him. OK more than like, but he doesn't feel the same way. Or he's just screwed up. It doesn't matter which because the results are the same. So we're friends with benefits. We're truly friends. He has my back and I appreciate his reassuring presence and kindness. We hang out. We have what I FEEL is beautiful passionate soul stirring sex. It's not. He'll stay the night, but won't cuddle because he "only cuddles in a relationship". And we have cuddled before, but there was a point where he did stop. We can cuddle on the couch, we can cuddle before sex, even in the morning...just not right after.

So today I tell him that "I have realized that sex with him has meant more to me than it should have. I genuinely truly wanted to cuddle with him. I have had casual sex before and didn't want to cuddle. No "no cuddle rule" necessary. With casual sex you just get your nut and its done."

His response was "Wow, ok...damn. That's how you feel?"I responded "no, that's just how I figure"(that it was just benefit sex). He said again "No its cool, you said how you felt." Now he won't talk to me.

I do think he's partly offended by me saying he's just getting a nut, but at the same time HE'S the one with the rule against cuddling. HE'S the one who won't move forward with having a relationship. Why am I wrong for calling it how I see it?

I started to read...then saw FWB....

well. *shrug* that's what happens. he was looking at ACTIONS speaking louder than your words.your actions say you don't mind FWB sooo that's what it is.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by SweetestFatale
Grrrr! I'm annoyed and I can't figure out if it's more at him or myself.

So the Pisces guy. I really, really, really like him. OK more than like, but he doesn't feel the same way. Or he's just screwed up. It doesn't matter which because the results are the same. So we're friends with benefits. We're truly friends. He has my back and I appreciate his reassuring presence and kindness. We hang out. We have what I FEEL is beautiful passionate soul stirring sex. It's not. He'll stay the night, but won't cuddle because he "only cuddles in a relationship". And we have cuddled before, but there was a point where he did stop. We can cuddle on the couch, we can cuddle before sex, even in the morning...just not right after.

So today I tell him that "I have realized that sex with him has meant more to me than it should have. I genuinely truly wanted to cuddle with him. I have had casual sex before and didn't want to cuddle. No "no cuddle rule" necessary. With casual sex you just get your nut and its done."

His response was "Wow, ok...damn. That's how you feel?"I responded "no, that's just how I figure"(that it was just benefit sex). He said again "No its cool, you said how you felt." Now he won't talk to me.

I do think he's partly offended by me saying he's just getting a nut, but at the same time HE'S the one with the rule against cuddling. HE'S the one who won't move forward with having a relationship. Why am I wrong for calling it how I see it?

I started to read...then saw FWB....

well. *shrug* that's what happens. he was looking at ACTIONS speaking louder than your words.your actions say you don't mind FWB sooo that's what it is.

click to expand

You should have read more, but I understand that might take more effort than some are willing to make to offer useful advice.