Taurus girl sending mixed signals

I am a Gemini guy and started dating a Taurus girl 3 months back

thing were very good until our third date when I told her I like her a lot.

she said she likes me lot too,but suddenly towards the end of our date she started acting weird.When she got home she texted me that she was confused about her feeling for me and that we should not see each other again.

next weekend she messages me that she wants to see me but cant because she is very far away,I tell her I will come and pick her up but no go.

next weekend I invite her to my friends birthday to my place,she accepts gladly and tell me she will stay the night.about 4 am she goes in my room to change and I go back out to the lounge to continue the party as she was sleepy.I got too drunk and went in my room and started asking her why she is playing with my feelings etc. etc.(I was blind drunk I don't remember any of this) it seems after 2 hours of similar questions it seems I scared her and she left.

I apologised to her next day but she said that I crossed the line and it was over and that I have a drinking problem and that I am a different person when I am drunk.

I ask my friend to talk to her,she agreed to meet once to finish the relationship.

I brink her flowers and kneel down to apologise,she smiles and accepts my apology and says that I will have to make up for it,I say I will treat you like a queen and I did treat her like a queen after that.Right the next day we have great make up sex.

next weekend we spend time together and she brings up the topic of having kids and suggests kids names etc. etc. I am happy as I am in love with her and I agree.

she was supposed to spend Christmas and new years with me but gives me some reason and does not.

she meets me about a week after new years when I invite her to go out for dinner with friends.

she indicates that she wants to spend the night with me but when we are walking home with friends she suddenly say she is going home.

I tell her that she has done this many times and it is not good,she says that I change suddenly to which I say she changed her mind and this my reaction to her reaction.after that we smile and I read her a poem I wrote for her,she melts after listening to it and says I want this relationship to work and that she will spend the weekend with me.Again she confirms whether I want to have kids with her,I say yes of course when the time is right.

on the weekend I go to pick her up but she does not respond t

*taking out pen and tablet*

Go on...

my post got cut off

any ways continuing ....

on the weekend I go to pick her up but she does not respond to my text messages or my phone calls in fact she switches her phone off.

she does not contact me for a week.I cant handle this any more so I send her a text saying I don't deserve to be treated this way and that I am letting her go.

but I cannot so after a week today I met her.

she says that I cant control my feelings for her and that she does not want to have a relationship right now.She say she just wants to be friends as anyways in 4 months she is returning to her home country.

I tell her there is no question about being just friends and that if we have just 4 months I just want to have good memories.she says she does not believe in having just memories.

but now she wants to go away for the weekend with me as we had planned sometime back

what is happening?

does she love me?

have I lost her for good?

what do I do to make her reveal her love for me?

LOL....just go ahead and have the babies....work all the details out later.....

and also while having the chat today she says that she thinks I am just obsessed with her,not in love with her.

I say obsession is when someone is self fish and that I have let her do whatever she wants whenever she wants,

I tell her that I wont tolerate anyone insulting our relationship not even her

Whee! Stood up for yourself there. Well done. Keep doing it. Good old black and white. Tell her point blank this is no time for indecision. You came correct and want to be her man. If she cannot do the same for you then call done and MEAN IT.
This is for you dude.

*walking off muttering..girl needs to pull her head out of her ass..need to take the Bull by the horns..no one needs that mess of indecision keeping someone sprung with half-assed words and disappearing*

Do the Geminis of the male species ever come up for air?
LOL!

She has feelings for you.
But in areas where you're a bit of an idealistical dreamer...
She's more practical and observing the relationship a little more realistically.

She's going back to her country soon.
Why invest in something that may possibly go nowhere.

Note: This reminds me of the movie(s) with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. Before Sunset and Before Sunrise.

Posted by gemofaguy
and also while having the chat today she says that she thinks I am just obsessed with her,not in love with her.

I say obsession is when someone is self fish and that I have let her do whatever she wants whenever she wants,

I tell her that I wont tolerate anyone insulting our relationship not even her

I wouldn't consider it insulting.
Just a mere observation.
You may be in love with the 'idea' of her, and may not be actually in love with her.

What is it about this woman that you love?

I had a Na break up about 10 years back when my then girlfriend cheated on me,since then I have dated many girls but never got involved with any in fact I did not feel any emotions for them.

in the past if a girl did what my current Taurus girl is doing I would just move on without even blinking

I have very very strong feelings for this girl,I am sure I am in love with her not just the idea of her

When she does not act irrationally we are perfect for each other

Interesting seeing the same taurus male games being played by taurus female.

Vainth, we never claimed it would be easy. Simple, yes. But not easy.

-calm smile with a dash of mischievousness-

I should add

She came out of a 5 years relationship hurt about a year ago

And I don't think she is going back to her country anytime soon

Any suggestions?

Is she testing me?

This last bit of info....probably should have been the first to mention.

1. Give her time
2. Don't push her

I can't speak for all female Taurus population but: personally, I don't test because I would consider it as a low blow to my character if I sense that I'm being tested by someone else. Right now, she might just be genuinely confused. Give her time.

but these mixed signals are confusing me

yesterday after lunch she did not even kiss me saying friends dont kiss which was about 10 mins before she said we will go away for the weekend together

now that she knows I love her and I told her I can now control my feelings

how should I behave with her?

how do I find whether she really is observing me or it is a lost cause?

this suspense is killing me

but these mixed signals are confusing me

yesterday after lunch she did not even kiss me saying friends dont kiss which was about 10 mins before she said we will go away for the weekend together

now that she knows I love her and I told her I can now control my feelings

how should I behave with her?

how do I find whether she really is observing me or it is a lost cause?

this suspense is killing me

and by time,how long is enough time?

wow how refreshing to see the situation on the other side for once!

er i mean.. feel bad for you, OP.

Any suggestions anyone?

Take a step back and .....chill.

This is the best advice I would give you right now. You don't want her to start smelling "desperate" in you...now do you? That will turn her off.

Just..take a step back and relax.

Thanx everyone

Now I know I need to give her space

But we are going away together for the weekend

Do I treat her like my girlfriend or just a friend?

If I were you I wouldn't even mention it. Right now it sounds like you have fallen right in her traps (Taurus love control btw).

based on what info we have.
I'm spill the solution for you, I don't usually spoil fellow taurus strategies (it's against taurus society code), so don't tell anyone I told you.... but the worst thing you can do is be overly confrontational, direct and straight up ask her how she wants to be treated. It sounds she's having fun with you. What you should do is play it off, toy with her back, flirt and attract her, but then tease "nope, friend's dont ______ remember?"

Taurus love being in control, but also love it when someone challenges it playfully.

An update

We spent 3 amazing days together away from the city

It was awesome

Vanith - you are right when I play with her she asks me what happened to you,you are acting different,but when I talk romantic stuff she kind of closes down

We decided to have some good memories before she leaves in May, but I am hoping we end up together

She is missing her family back home so she has decided to go back

I texted her last night that I loved spending the 3 days with her

She replied after almost 12 hours with just smileys with love hearts, that is it

I will take the advise you all gave me and just play it cool,stand back and see what happens

Also give me some advise on how to keep in touch,coz she can go without texting or calling for days and then when we talk act as though we are together all the time

Update

After the holiday together I sent a text after I dropped her home that I had a lovely time

She just replied next day with some smiley kisses.

After that no contact for 4 days when I texted her some casual stuff

We just exchanged some casual messages back and forth but she seemed distant

And as if she wanted to hurt me stating tht the best time she had on the holiday when she was sleeping

Suggestions?

I have had relationships with Geminis before and I always felt pushed and smothered.

I don't believe the Gemini/Taurus combo is a good one from my own experience.

She's not going to commit. This is not going to go how you want it.

There is no way an interested Taurean woman will make the object of her desire wait 12 hours before responding to a text and then only reply with emoticons after a weekend together.

She knows the whole thing is wrong but she doesn't know how to break it off.

Stop calling and texting and leave it be.

By leave it be, so you mean let the relationship go?

Is there a way I can make myself the object of her desire at this point?

This relationship means a lot to me

That's exactly what I mean.

The more you chase, the further she will run.

I don't know this girl, but the vibe I am getting is exactly the same as I used to be when I didn't want to hurt someone's feelings. I would be very vague and hope they would lose interest.

Gutless? You betcha.

The more a guy chased me, the more repulsed I would get. It made me feel they were weak.

Seriously don't chase anymore. I don't see any signs she is really into you. Sorry.

so there is no way to salvage the relationship?

you guys were right

finally she confessed that she is still hung up on her past and that she needs time to figure out things and set everything in order,btw this was all over text messages.

she also said that if I want we can go out as friends.

she broke up a year back and the boy got married to someone else just a couple of months after that.

how long do Taurus need to get over their ex?

is it worth waiting for her?

can I do anything to expedite her getting over him?

Posted by gemofaguy
but these mixed signals are confusing me

yesterday after lunch she did not even kiss me saying friends dont kiss which was about 10 mins before she said we will go away for the weekend together

now that she knows I love her and I told her I can now control my feelings

how should I behave with her?

how do I find whether she really is observing me or it is a lost cause?

this suspense is killing me

She is really doing a number on you...I feel for you!!!

As a Taurus sun, Aries moon with Venus in Gem...I can't imagine really having feelings for a guy and doing this.....UNLESS... (as previously mentioned)...she's genuinely...AND I MEAN GENUINELY...confused.

My guess is that she has feelings for you and something external to your relations is really tugging her in a different direction. It could be the past hurt you mentioned, but my guess is its something else...something dealing with a major move in her future that may leave you two strained.

I could be wrong, but from my personal exp, when I'm on the brink of major life decisions, I can be a bit erratic. I could completely be feeling you but will distance those emotions if I think its going to endanger me in the long run.

Posted by earthonfire
That's exactly what I mean.

The more you chase, the further she will run.

I don't know this girl, but the vibe I am getting is exactly the same as I used to be when I didn't want to hurt someone's feelings. I would be very vague and hope they would lose interest.

Gutless? You betcha.

The more a guy chased me, the more repulsed I would get. It made me feel they were weak.

Seriously don't chase anymore. I don't see any signs she is really into you. Sorry.

"when I didn't want to hurt someone's feelings. I would be very vague and hope they would lose interest."...is this a Pisces thing?? I hate this. Just tell me lol.

I agree with everything you just said.
I just got out of a 3 year relationship that was draining in every sense of the word. Then I met a guy & being the hopeless romantic that I am, it's easy for me to fall deeply for a guy I'm attracted to. So that being said I can understand that she is feeling confused, especially if she's attracted to the guy & is trying to protect herself from being hurt

I wonder how things turned out for you in the end.. I found this thread by chance, cause I've never really been so confused about someone. And rightnow I don't know what to do, I don't want to hurt this guy and I seem to be doing the exact things this girl been doing to you. I don't wish to hurt him for any longer, n I can't get out of it cause I do need him, but I know it's not right 😢