The counselors conclusion about my Taurus

Had an appointment with a couples counselor.

Firstly my Taurus did not qualify for sex addiction but lack of any sexual activity in past 5 years was driving him crazy and making him fetch things out of the ordinary to please his sexual needs. I changed that recently... The first time I allowed him to make love to me, he said - " wow! Now I don't have to go anywhere else to satisfy myself "

He also told the counselor that with my anger and frustration with my ex I had started giving him low blows too and it hurt him and it got to the point that he felt he was only giving and getting nothing back in return and somewhere the whole idea of loving me as a girlfriend died out and kissing me did not even arouse him anymore. I made changes in my behavior and apologized and things have been very pleasant ... Almost like a new relationship with a whole lot of softer voice, respect and kindness.

Since then he has said this -
I have been thinking about just being committed to you completely because it does not feel that I will be able to figure out what I want.
I mean just marry you and make the conscious effort in just being faithful to you and experience all the new things in life with you.

Now it's weird but I don't know what to say to that! I do love him and I always wanted to marry him and the love making part is out of this world good!

Our counselor thinks that we have done good by not dumping each other because we have a very close history together and my child calls him dad even though she knows he is not her dad. So a haste decision would really hurt everyone more than help us.

I read all ur opinions and they do matter. Thanks and plz share whatever you think about this.

If the both of you can compromise, adapt, and communicate honestly then why not start anew if it's sincere and it's what the both want to achieve.. A relationship must not be one sided for too long... If it's too many red flags prior to this appointment is it worth it..maybe cheating...is too controversial to go back, or negative abuse of any kind is dismissed because you tried already..

Of course Taurus aren't really the ones who like divorce or break ups in the first place and will try to work it out a few times even if there's some bullshit drama going on... If you are the one..

so yeah no one is perfect either but to learn new things, do things together simultaneously, maybe try living together if you are not...action speak louder than words ...if you don't live together the space is needed to regroup..and come to senses...far apart..so when you do talk it's important to both..in clear mindedness..what's what, what's acceptable, what's grounds for deal breakers..etc..good luck

Thanks both of you!! It's going great between me and my Taurus lately. Almost like it never has been in the past 5 years...

Things I noticed about him lately...
1) he is super attentive to me and my child and everything our house related.
2) he keeps saying he is not deserving whenever I try to make an effort to please him in a special way.
3) he has become a whole lot more serious. He has a thing for superficial talk but he hasn't done any of it lately and he says I love you a lot!
4) he stays extremely shy when I talk to him about "us" and he says with very blushy face that he doesn't know how to express himself just yet. And he smiles a lot and won't look into my eyes when I ask him a simple question like " how r we doing?"

Any ideas about his changed behavior??

Seems like communication is much needed. The thing is whose going to always address issues or solve problems...

See Taurus people feel they should not be expressing too much, or doubting to much, or contemplating on why you are or aren't initiating things..

The fact he is open to you and your kids cool.

The fact that he is shy when asking important things like how are we doing? Idk kinda skeptical..because you have to initiate conversations mostly..

But I may get shy too, cautious when feelings are involved..I might even feel pressured to open up when I don't want to but I do because I love to talk about everything. If you ask a certain question be prepared for the answer..

Just be like I would really appreciate if you open up to me and let me know how we are doing? You asked him once already and didn't get a filling answer.. maybe ask what direction we are going?

Well we talked... A LOT!! Came to the conclusion that he loves me. He has no doubts that I am the one that cares and will keep him happy. He enjoys the love making part too very much now that we have started doing that too.

He said that it was his fault that he did not pay attention to what he has with him for 5 years now ( me and my child ) and looked for options besides what he had perhaps because he had lost hopes that I will ever want to make love to him because I have never had a boyfriend ever or was involved in any sexual relationship due to my past experience of being molested when I was a kid and my marriage with my ex who would literally rape me every night and was a sex maniac ( he is now a lifetime registered sex offender) so well.... Coming back to my Taurus- he had lost hope that I would ever willingly have sex with him and enjoy it as much as I do now, secondly, he felt when he finds someone he truly loves it won't matter to him if his parents accept his choice or not (his parents believe in arrange marriage with a girl of their choice) but he says even though he loves me more than he has ever loved a girl in his life, the fact that his parents won't accept me started bothering him and that's another reason why he mindlessly started looking for other options but realized that doesn't matter who he picks his parents won't accept his choice... So he says he wants to work on us because he is guilty of his choices in the past. He says he will be open about his feelings and see the counselor that we are already seeing and he is hoping he will find a way through counseling to get past the fear of his parents not accepting me and marry me or just be single all his life and never get married but he is right now focusing on us and leaning towards marrying me.
Definitely not what I wanted to hear but at least he is honest..

Problem is his parents know about us since 2012. My Taurus and I lived separate but he use live at my place with all his belongings, then in 2013 we started living together and his parents know about it but the just ignore the fact and treat him like he lives by himself. They don't want to see me, meet me or want to know me. They hate me.. And my Taurus knows they are ridiculous but he cares for his parents and other extended family. He says he will need to figure out a way the the counselor to get past his fear of being almost disowned and not respected in his family if he married me.
I don't know if it's the fact that I don't want to give up or whether I have given up on life totally that I am still with him and going through this because I just feel like stuck between a rock and a hard place right now with my heart into my Taurus who I don't think even realizes how much I'm into him. I live one day at a time and so far he has only shown me attempts to do better so I am just going with that...

Oh no that's not good. Not at all. Good luck to you never settle for less...

And family issues are another thing. An arranged marriage means no shot at all If they don't like you. That's alot of pressure. Damn I am not sure. It's hard talking online instead of in person because things get mistaken too many times..

But hope you can just be friends for now. Not sure what would change my mind if I found out about that...