The equivocal relationship. (help!)

So I am always google-ing zodiac personality descriptions and reading topics in this message board, and tonight I finally decided to join the team and address my issue.
I've been "seeing" (for lack of a better term, since we don't see much of each other) a Taurus male for a while now. He's not too tall and has a funny looking nose but somehow i find him utterly sexy!(Aaahh!) It started in July of last year, when we met through some mutual friends. He was ALL OVER ME for an entire month, (even when I travel out of the country he called me several times overseas!) and I started to fall fast for him. We dated casually for a couple of months and before I knew it I did the biggest "Don't".. In October I tried to initiate a relationship and told him if he wasn't looking for one he couldn't see me anymore. Consequently he started to avoid me and when I confronted him and asked why he said he felt pressured and that he can't stand ultimatums. He made it clear that he moves slow and wasn't really interested in pursuing anything with me anytime soon. I was hurt and got really emotional with him but accepted it and moved on with someone else. Then 'out of the blue' he contacts me through Facebook in December to "wish me happy holidays" and began to flirt with me again. He asked where I had been and how come he hadn't seen me around and bla bla.. as if nothing had ever happened between us. At the time I was seeing someone else and didn't give him any attention, but before long we were talking again and by late January we were seeing each other again. I gave him a hard time at first and I think he liked chasing me. I made it clear that the rules are still the same, and that I wasn't not looking for a fling and he didn't back off this time so I assumed he had made up his mind. I knew he wasn't looking to get all serious right away (and frankly that was ok with me) I just wanted SOME sense of security because he is veeeery friendly and I wanted to make sure he wasn't dating anyone else at the same time. I expected a slow start but I thought he would open up to me eventually. It is now May and I've done everything I can to get this guy to open up and all I've gotten in return are HUGE MIXED SIGNALS. He lives about an hour away so the distance makes it hard for us to meet very often, but I've tried to set dates with him and he's never available anymore.. He isn't nearly as affectionate as he used to be either. He complains that (to be continued 🙂

... he doesn't like being on the phone too much and needs to spend more time with me , but everytime I suggest a date he never makes it happen anymore. I thought maybe he was just stringing me along now and had no intentions to commit to me once again.. so I stopped calling him and asking him , stopped sending random texts too and after 2 days (felt like the longest 2 days of my life) he finally calls and asks casually where I had been and if I had missed him.. it gave me hope so I continued to call him and tried to see him but ... nothing yet again. He now calls me every day, usually when he gets out of work or before he goes to sleep, or both (on his good days) and lets me know what went on in his day and every now and then he will try to be sexy on the phone but if I ever mention anything about the ambiguity of our relationship or if I ask why he hasnt called or texted on a particular night he starts to be distant again and I feel like I'm back to square one.
I know that he is completely in love with himself, which will make it hard for him to love anyone else too soon, but I don't understand why I love him so much. Hes charming, funny, clever, affectionate, friendly, generous, obsessed with working out and eating healthy and looking good, but can be very childish sometimes. He loves to show off in front of his friends and doesn't always keep his word. he also LOVES to tease me (now that we've gotten more comfortable with each other it isnt cute anymore. it's gotten to the point where he hurts my feelings sometimes) and the thing I hate most about him is that he appears to have NO feelings sometimes. I don't know how he does it but he just turns into a rock. He thinks I make a big deal out of every little thing and love blow things out of proportion, but I'm pretty sure its him not me, because other people tend to agree with my views on the situations he doesn't think are "a big deal"

Now, I don't know much about charts but I've managed to find this online.
Me: Gemini
Rising Sign is in Virgo
Sun is in Gemini
Moon is in Capricorn
Mercury is in Gemini
Venus is in Gemini
Mars is in Pisces
Jupiter is in Taurus
Saturn is in Capricorn
Uranus is in Sagittarius
Neptune is in Capricorn
Pluto is in Scorpio

and him: Taurus
Rising Sign is in Leo
Sun is in Taurus
Moon is in Taurus
Mercury is in Aries
Venus is in Aries
Mars is in Taurus
Jupiter is in Aquarius
Saturn is in Scorpio
Uranus is in Sagittarius
Neptune is in Capricorn
Pluto is

the first half of his chart is similar to mine but what's important is venus in aries. try researching that to see if it provides any insight.

regardless of astrology, he sounds like an ass. he's playing what a buddy calls the "near near, far far" game. he gives you just enough to keep you and just enough to push you away. i dealt with a man like this for years. stop making apologies. he came back KNOWING your ultimatum. why are you moving the goal line for him or any man?

now since this is an astro site, i'm going to try and give dude the benefit of the doubt by looking at his chart. first of all, he has a lot of "fixed" placements. he's "stuck" and stubborn. he will NOT be moved. demands fall on deaf ears. consistency on your part is key. flakiness will only cause him to dig in his heels.

venus in aries...we like to chase. we can run hot then cold quick enough to make your head spin. i don't know why it occurs but when it's off, it's off unless there's a profound shift.

unfortunately, the person on the receiving end is often confused. date 1 went really well. date 2 went well. date 3...does she hate me? i have a few incidents where i have been down right ruthless/abrupt with my disaffection. it's not intentional and 9 times out of 10 the guy didn't deserve that level of push back. this dude has known you a while so you don't get completely freezed out but yeah, we can be cold/distant.

this article describes it VERY well - http://www.bukisa.com/articles/240786_understanding-venus-in-aries-for-love-and-relationships

i say ALL the time that part of the reason i'm single is i don't know what i want. i don't know what love looks like because although i've had some long lasting situations, they weren't ideal. what does it mean to love when the idea of a mature love bores the hell out of you? just thinking about it makes me feel like i'm gasping for air. relationships dull my fire.

the point is, dude may be able to give you what you need, he is a taurus after all, but chances are right now he's bored into passivity. you have to help him get the passion back and tbh, i dunno how you do that without dRaMA!

oh and part of the selfishness of a venus in aries is that we'll see you when we want to see you. this is a little more difficult when a partner is local and for me personally, as annoying as it is, calling and saying i'm going to be over in 30 min is better than, would you like to go out later? 😛

you keep trying to make plans and respect boundaries and although this may be the correct approach for most situations, not sure that's ideal here.

ok first, dudes's a taurus with leo rising. he's more comfortable wooing you in his den UNLESS your home is plusher and comfier. given the distance, it isn't THAT much plusher so he's staying home.

add the venus in aries and all that planning is like...UGH! we don't like yammering. you want something done, git 'er dun! my closest friends are those who just show up. my home is always open so if you want me to come out and play, ring the doorbell.

now it's up to you if you go this route but you could just surprise him. if he's into you, he won't find it stalkerish. i'm not saying show up at his door with a bucket of chicken but "i'm in town, will you be ready in 30 minutes?" MIGHT work. planning will not and that's why you're not getting him to budge. either that or he's just not that into you.

Good lord, this sounds familiar.

Usually men who are playing the 'near near far far' game as Tubbyscubby is putting it are rather confused about either what they want, or they've got intimacy issues.

Now I will say that people do change, and eventually I'm sure they'll settle down when they've found the one they want to be with. The question is whether you want to wait around for that to happen as the wait itself is going to be rather painful. The better way about it to keep all options open is probably to date around but keep the door ajar if they finally come to their senses and realize that they want you.

Now not sure, but I read somewhere that Taur+Venus in Aries = ultimate player? :S I could be wrong.

haha! i KNEW he had either leo moon or rising! working out, in love with self... sounds about right!

my taurus has his venus in aries as well. i've been seeing him for almost a year now. yes, he owns player traits but he's forthcoming with them so i can't really categorize him as such. he doesn't actually ''play'', he just likes to date around.

i agree whole-heartedly with tubby when she said that the reason she is single is because she doesn't really know what she wants. aint it the truth! my taurus is EXACTLY that way. he found everything he wanted in a girl, in me, but he keeps going around in circles. he thrives on the chase but he deeply desires the security and stability.

ur taurus can change if or when he chooses to. there's nothing u can do but be patient... or not. i'm watching mine undergo a serious personal transformation right now but it was only because he deemed it necessary for his overall well-being. the only way i was able to bring his passion back is to keep him ''chasing''.

You know what's worse? They find what they're looking for, then they use THAT person as a blueprint to find someone like them. Though perhaps I have thought that Taurus have a tendency to date around just to make sure that you're it.

GemDreamer -
i too am with my bull. Some of the thing syou mentioned were the same in my situation.

You gotta get in tune with another side of you and curb that need and want on the level your currently at. He can't take it yet. There was NO WAY i was going to show mine how much i loved and needed him when he still lived 4 1/2/ hours away. We talked about everything, and always communicated but i couldn't expr3ess it to him. then he won. He loved to chase and be chased as much as i do. So i had to play his game with him. i wasn't always available. i'd make him wait, like he did with me. But when he talked to me, it was all about him. Even if i was at home chilling and looking at the text he sent or watching him call, you can't be THAT available.
Cook you're little heart out for him. Especially the treats 🙂
If push comes to shove and you can't take it. Leave. Don't give him an ultimatium. He could not choose you strctly because you made the ultimatum. but when he pushes you too far away, speak your mind about it. and when you can't handle it anymore, write a letter or something like that and let him know.

I don't want to go here... but i am. Mine had a 'thing' on the side while he lived away from me. i knew he did and didn't really care. he's a man, he's gonna get his cuz his sex drive is almost as bad as mine. I didn't care about his "thing" until i started to feel like I WAS THE OTHER WOMAN. I don't have that. That's not how i get down. So, i left his bear on his porch, told him i won't be anyones mistress.

Made him flip out. But he needed that reality check. it wasn't but 3 months later he made the decision to move to where i am. But it was a ton of cat and mouse. I had to "prove" that i am willing to go to the ends of the earth for him. Be his mom, sister, best friend, cleaner you name it. But to me it was worth it. I called him my investment because i could see he was a great man. And once he moved, i got the rewards. He still shows me everyday how much he loves me and does so much for me. We have something that still is so strong and im thankful i put in that extra effort to understand him and let him figure out he wanted me without me pressuring him. I'm currently waiting formhim to ask me to marry him. Lawd he hard headed and so we are battleing at who should ask who lol 🙂 we are still chasing each other. I am still chasing him around the house 😉

Ok I have alot to say about my tuarus man, but I don't need to cause yall already know. Just wanted to say the chase is on right here. The way to this mans heart is bud light and i might just have to bring him some. Then remind him where I keep it at my house. What do yall think about that? Will it work?