Tuara trust question

ok.....so been doing alot of reflecting lately....anyway......I have other threads about my bull leaving me.....but thought I'd do this one as a kind of side topic

I know she had to stand up infront of people and talk about herself at the first week of uni and she was horrified by the experiance.....never liked that sort of stuff....now my personal thoughts are that in her head I betrayed her in a similar fashion....but she still has feelings for me.....seems the general theme is her being actually scared and I mean scared(and angry) at the thought of me not being part of her life......this seems to be the main keep sake at the moment....She will talk to me even if she has nothing to say it seems in the attempt just to know I am there.....

I feel as if I betrayed her in the end of our relationship by confronting her a couple of times (in front of friend once and outside a pub the other time) and I honestly think she feels she cannot trust me with that side..it's no excuse but I have been under intense stress this year....the side of our relationship that dealt with talking about feelings the past and future etc....seems to be comming back mainly when she is lonely...the feelings side.....but so far topics involving emotions or the past(be it "us" or otherwise) stay firmly out of the conversation....yet things for example.....like a joke about marriage came up today....so injest I said when you get married one day can I be a sort of female best man....she got really upset by that....she was taken aback and upset about it....about the idea of it not being me as the groom.....aswell as the otherday after her commenting about it being good that we were staying friends...I said wont I make any new boyfriends jealous if I come and stay over (as she insisted if I come over I was to sleep in the bed with her) and she merly replied saying how really strange that was.....I said wich bit? the bit about another boyfriend....I thought I was push and pull and I can be.....but with her these last few day I feel somewhat like a rag doll....

all seems to come across like she says I dont want to be with you.......then says how much she misses me and needs me......goes on about friends only then seems to get upset about the idea of me acting like I am not her partner anymore...

is this somewhat of a tauras thing? does it sound like a conflict between emotoin and trust? teh trust that I wont her? or the trust I wont push her awor is it personal to my ex lady....

is this somewhat of a tauras thing? does it sound like a conflict between emotion and trust? the trust that I wont her? or the trust I wont push her away again? or is it personal to my ex lady....

sorry for the terrible spelling I type like rubbish and never check....I do numbers not text 😛

lol 😛 yea I know elena.........just getting more opions lol......being patient is hard!

Wise words....in my head I know that....this is the one I want.....This is the one I want...sick of giving up on stuff....

I'm 24 now....I just want to change mt ways....stop pushing the woman in my life away.....I know why I do it....secrectly I dont trust them.....thing that pisses me off is I lost this one to learn that

All I can hope is that if I now start sorting me out she will come to me

this is the one that is......I am sure of it....I left a 3 year relationship for this girl and she has been my best friend for longer than that....I refuse to let my personal issues mess things up anymore... wish I knew of a way to really show that....I guess time will...just me wanting things to go now now now.....it's in my blood

thats the thing....easy to look back.....I honestly know this girl is worth it....took me a long time to actually say to myself....get control.....I would do everything in power to make it work....and for now if that means sorting me out and standing up to the world and saying "hey listen I am not going to do what you expect anymore" then so be it

I wish you luck.

I've said it over and over MC - this girl sounds EXACTLY like me.... and she is in conflict because she does want to be with you, but she feels like, as you said, things aren't going to change. The fact that she got upset about the wedding comment should be a big huge, flashing, banging you on the head, neon sign. You need to STOP BEING SCARED AND LET HER KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.

If you keep skirting the issue and being just a friend you will just validate her fears and convince her that you don't want her - then she WILL move on. Once we make up our minds that is IT, and at this point she is still giving you an opportunity to make things right - DON'T SQUANDER IT. Once that chance is gone you won't get it again.

YOU say it took losing this girl for you to realize how important she is - well are you going to wait until she's completelty done with you before you look back and go "oh, I had the chance and I didn't take it.... wonder what I should do now?" There is no "what do I do now?" either you do it RIGHT NOW or you don't get another chance later on.

You cannot continue to bide your time and think about all the possible horrible outcomes before you take action - while you're thinking about it she's convincing herself you don't want her and it's best to move on.

So what do I do.......call her up and Say Aimee........I want you....I love you.......And I want to do what ever it takes to make it work....

I am so terrified of losing her

well, what frightens you more? Telling her how you feel, or losing her?

I can't tell you what to do - like I said before, it's got to come from the heart.... you've got to figure out what you need to do to SHOW her, what will convince HER.

You people sure do all seem to give angel a hard time.....

I hear you angel.......guess I am most afraid of losing her and also of her totaly rejecting me resulting in my losing her!

if you're more afraid of losing her then I would think telling her how you feel would be the easy part. If she rejects you - you lose her. If you don't try - you lose her. The ONLY chance you have of not losing her is to go for it. At least ytou get a 50/50 chance that way - doing nothing is a 100% gaurantee that you lose her.

For angel.......Told her everything about how I feel.....she told me she couldnt hear it over the phone she just coldnt hear me say it so I had to text her.....she said she wasnt ready and didnt know if she would ever be.....although she was texting know she was crying and upset becuase I know she was alone and replying in seconds then answers took ages.....so fact is....no matter what she cant do it...wether as you say she is afraid it wont be different(what I still believe) or something else.....so I am going to have to move on now....it cant be good to keep trying....but I do feel really lead on and used a bit by her this week...she pulled on my heart strings and she knows it