UPDATE! Pls help - How not to mess up 2nd chance

So what happened?

Nothing. He phoned me late and said he cannot come because he just left the office - and that was already 8pm. He sounded soooo shattered and just overtired. I really felt sorry for him. Actually in all honesty i wasnt mad at him for cancelling - he really has a lot on his head now. But since I am a proper drama queen (in denial) I send another email. I did say exactly how I feel about him and I did say "I want you not anybody else" and "that I want to be for him always". But I meant it. I kinda asked him to try to say how things are one way or the other but I dont think I can actually make him do it, right?And he read it and replied about 30 min later with email:

"Thanks for the mail. Wow! Very long mail, you where your heart on your
sleeve don't you. That's a good thing I think.I am will meet with you again no problem. But I don't want the intensity of a relationship you are requesting 😉 at this moment in time. I have a lot going on, and I feel very upside down at this moment in time. According to my father I am a rudder-less boat in a stormy sea. (Make of that what you will.)So basically I am all over the place at the moment. I am thinking of selling my lovely house I have spent so much time and effort on .-( to then go and do my flying. I question myself as to weather this is the right course of action but only time will tell. Anyway we will meet up. I am just wrapping everything jobs wise up at the moment, basically closing everything down in anticipation of my flying.
Speak soon."


So now I am thinking - I need to wait and wait and wait and there is a long way ahead of me to actually make him, put me into his future. Or maybe he is just trying to tell me to "bugger off" in a kind of polite way? I obviously cannot see it, otherwise I would not post it.

sorry to hear about your date - sounded like you were really looking forward to it 😢

am not sure if he's telling you to 'bugger off' coz he did say he wants to meet with you again - he's just not sure if he wants something so intense at this particular time. funny how us girls try to read something more into things.

i don't know if it's a taurus guy thing, or maybe it's just a guy thing, but the taurus man i am seeing is very career minded and said pretty much the same thing that your guy said to you. he has a lot of stuff on the go and doesn't want to 'commit' to anything right now. weird coz when we started he said how he likes a relationship to 'take off' so i felt ok in enjoying what we had and letting things just flow. after seeing him for awhile felt like he was really into me so i thought it was ok to let my guard down. then after a month of what seemed like was already a relationship (given the amount of time we spent together and how he treated me) he backed away and said those things.

maybe it's just the phase in life that they are going through - where they are so focused on building a career and preparing for a life that they don't want their focus and energy to be fragmented.

or maybe i'm just not the one for him. we are still seeing each other - after he told me he doesn't want anything exclusive but hopes we can still see each other i told him that i'm enjoying his company, and why would i want to cut that out of my life right now? but i also told him that my guard is up - and predictably his guard has come up too and things have changed between us in the past couple of weeks.

he's now away for a month and i'll just see if we reconnect and where things go when he gets back. i feel that there is definite potential for a great relationship, and i want to give it a chance, but obviously it'll only work if he wants it also. i'm using this time/space to prepare myself to let go if it's not meant to be.

if there's anything you (and I) can take some comfort in, it's that at least they are communicating the fact that they aren't ready and that we're not being led on. all i can ask myself is, am I getting what I want out of this at this particular time? they say that life is short and happiness is fleeting ... i want to try living and enjoying the moment, instead of worrying about what may come. after all, how can you enjoy the ride if you're always focused on the next destination?

"So now I am thinking - I need to wait and wait and wait and there is a long way ahead of me to actually make him, put me into his future. Or maybe he is just trying to tell me to "bugger off" in a kind of polite way? I obviously cannot see it, otherwise I would not post it."

Pucagirl why cant u see it? The taurus guy is telling u very clearly that life is pretty unsettled for him at the moment and he's being totaly honest about him. Unlike some men who never come clear about whats the deal behind their now-i-like-u-now-i-dont gestures.

Put urself in his place. Something u have cherished for and built is gonna get lost and also u are taking a huge leap into the unknown by opting to follow ur dream.Would u want soemone else also to go down with u? Obviously not so listen to what he is saying. Give him space and dont appear very needy. Yo do ur own thing and remind him once in a while how happy u are for him. He will be back when he is ready with the right intensity.

"Put urself in his place. Something u have cherished for and built is gonna get lost and also u are taking a huge leap into the unknown by opting to follow ur dream.Would u want soemone else also to go down with u? Obviously not so listen to what he is saying. Give him space and dont appear very needy. Yo do ur own thing and remind him once in a while how happy u are for him. He will be back when he is ready with the right intensity."

Hey, that's a great advice 🙂 It is very true that having someone tell you they are not ready is much better than them being elusive about their intentions. But the question is, how do you time it with a Taurus? Do you wait for him to make the next step?

You all good people.Actually as I went home and had a time to think my heart sunk... And raised again :-). In the end I send him a message that I apologised for the email I sent, but not for what I said since I meant it, I only didn't mean to say it.I said that I realised now I put him on spot and that I am happy that he hasn't been cruel no ignorant.And sine he now knows how I really feel about him, its all done and I will leave it to him. He replied nearly immediately, that he is happy I made my little confession and I should not worry because he Will Phone me. I feel he will comeback to me. I just know it :-) I just need to give him time and space. So I will wait. So I am in the end optimistic.He will be mine:-) I feel it.!!!

"He replied nearly immediately, that he is happy I made my little confession and I should not worry because he Will Phone me."

good for you for taking the plunge, PucaGirl - at least now you can feel a little better about things...hang in there - hope it works out 🙂