what do taurus men want in a relationship?

i know taurus loves stability and loyalty... but whats the best way to coax a taurus into a relationship? and, being young, what will keep them happy?

I know, it seems crazy, doesnt it?? usually im attracted to really upbeat, flirtatious men, but there's something about him that draws me in. I think it might be the fact that taurus is very calm and relaxed, and it generates a feeling of peace throughout the room. I also find it intriguing that taurus is so dedicated to relationships and holds loyalty in such high esteem. it provides for a feeling of safety. And also, he's slightly hard to read, which makes him mysterious. and we gemini love a challenge!

What happens when the challenge is gone? Taurus people question this of people who chase us.b

that is so true taurusgoddess 😛

Taurusgoddess,

You make a very fine point indeed. I happen to be there right now, and can't even explain how I feel. Its not like the challange is gone, were just two different people and I need something more in my life. Once that was said, he began smothering me and I really dont know what to do. I want to remain friends and dont want to hurt him, but I can see we are just very different. I think he thinks, that if he changes it will work. That is not the makings of a good relationship, I would never want anyone to change their inherant personalities,leads to resentments. Do you have any advice, I feel like a piece of s**t, hate to see anyone get hurt. But I have been honest from the very start. Thanks

Sunshine...

Oh wow Sunshine, this is sounding way too familiar. Why do we have to feel like the guilty ones, when we are just being truthful and trying to spare people from further hurt?

And as for the chasing and the challenge business, I like a mutual persuit in the initial stages, that's when I think you learn the most about the other person's basic nature. I think they called this "courtship" in the old days. With those lessons having been learned, then a relationship can move to a higher level, hopefully. I wouldn't just dump someone because the "chase" was over, I would be hoping for more deep kind of thing to start happening. But it is sweet and exciting to make that phase last as long as possible.

*pursuit oops

The problem still remains, a lot of idiots out there don't know the difference between courtship & headgames. I don't think they even realize what they're doing. Can't blame the idiot, but sure as h=ll can't be with them!

LOL tg! You got that right!

well that's one of the reasons why tauruses are so lonely women and men because they are always looking for perfection in people not realizing just howscrewed up they are themselves.Don't get me wrong i've had some of my best experiences with taurus (sexually and on the hanging out end) but that's is where it ends that lack a lot of other things that are required in order to have a good relationship.

Taureans are some of the most committed people you find. Couple that with a tendency to not be able to change very quickly, add a dash of bad experiences with relationships, and you'll find that a Taurus is actually lonely because they don't want to get "stuck" in something bad.

My being alone has more to do with not feeling overwhelming physical/mental chemistry with those I come into contact with as of late. My good taurean friend (female) has found the same to be true---too much weird baggage with a lot of folks, and since she's so into her routine of being alone, its going to take something monumental to shake her out of it. I'm in a similar situation.

"i think taureans really don't care about anyone but themselves, it's why we treat people like posessions. hence the screening calls, not answering their doors. we want you when we want you, not a minute after or before"

Most people would think I'm crazy, but I find that kinda hot, actually...the comment, that is, not you per se, sagi 😛

Damn, sagitauries...that's pretty spot on. Creepily so. My taurean friend, a really fine lady, btw, has been pondering what the hell her problem is in regards to men, because NOTHING has been sticking as of late. I need to share with her what you typed her, because it REALLY resembles what she and I both do. We both love our own time WAY too much to give it up. I know I'm guilty of that, and I guess I always felt that if I found someone who was amazing enough to shake me out of that rut, I'd be set. But since that standard is one of such "perfection," finding that person seems damn near impossible.

my last relationship fizzled hard because I felt smothered and had to literally yank myself away from it in order to have my own space. Sheesh...makes me wonder about the future. Could I ever stay married, and live in the same place as my wife and children? Or would I have to do it Diego Rivera/Frida Kahlo style , and just have adjacent homes?

Your perfect garden is especially funny---that's what I've been striving to create in my life, and I'll be damned if someone gets in my way! I've been so focused on improving myself that I treat it as something to achieve on my own, not with anyone else. Damn, man...you really nailed it there.

"too much weird baggage with a lot of folks, and since she's so into her routine of being alone, its going to take something monumental to shake her out of it"

True for me too, i often think the longer i am alone the more screwed up it'll be, it will only get harder i think. So i date and try again, oh and WOW more f'in baggage!

"why we treat people like posessions" WE DO! OH MY GOD!!!! kill us all, hahahahhahahha 😉

Its actually pretty scary---the more I date, the more I realize how weird people are. either that, or I've become such a weird recluse that I can no longer relate to normal folk....hmmm...naahhhh

Anyway, it's funny because I've been approached a lot and I have to give them this look like "are you SURE you know what you may be getting yourself into?" ha ha ha

Oh wow, totally, I think too, if only they knew!

okay, im confused. you say taureans love commitment and are so loyal.... but then you say that you love your own space and hate to feel smothered and have to back out when you do.

arent "loving commitment" and "scared of losing your space" kind of contradictory? see, this is what i dont understand. do i leave him be or do i press on and stay determined to get into a relationship with him? does he want his space or does he want to know that im a "sure deal"

okay, i dont understand. you say that taureans love commitment and being in relationships and loyalty, but then you say that they fear losing their space or being smothered. arent "relationship loving" and "commitment phobic" contradictory?

this is where im confused. i dont know whether to press on and be persistent in trying to establish a relationship with him or to give him his space and let him come to me. is it better to be the aggressor in the situation or to let him find me? do i back off and make him "jealous" or do i make myself an easy catch?

haha, whoops! i thought the first comment didnt post so i re-wrote it. so only read one... or both, whatever. haha sorry!

This is where I become dubious of astrology. I have no Taurus in my chart at all, but I can totally relate to this. To me a committment doesn't require sharing the same space, but it's more about trust, faith and loyalty when you are apart doing your own thing. I am also very "selfish" with my space and time, but I don't have any problem with being totally committed to someone at the same time. And yes, it's very very difficult to find someone that is that at ease with themselves enough to not need the constant contact. I never worry about where the Taurus I am involved with is, or what he is doing when we are out of touch for a bit, or when he doesn't show up when he said he would. I know there is a reason, and I'm not the cause of it. I always hear from him soon enough. And when I do, it's always brilliant!

loving commitment and scared of losing your space aren't contradictary---its like what sagitauries said: we want to see them when we want to, and only when we want to. and to top it off, they'd better only want to be with us, and only us! And chances are, we'd only be with them, too. So there you have commitment...but space. be with me, and only me, but only when I say so.

it's selfish, if anything, but not very contradictory. 🙂

haha, okay. selfish works. so basically what youre saying is that he wants me when he wants me and only then, and i better abide or so long?

sounds a little.... ridiculous.

so then i should let him come to me?? to make him feel like hes got control?

"i dont know whether to press on and be persistent in trying to establish a relationship with him or to give him his space and let him come to me. is it better to be the aggressor in the situation or to let him find me? do i back off and make him "jealous" or do i make myself an easy catch?"

followed by

so then i should let him come to me?? to make him feel like hes got control?

—?
Sorry, but that sounds just a tad manipulative to me, gemini lady. Do what you want to do, and don't try to think so much about what he wants or expects from you. He will know that it's not the "real" you, anyway. I think the deal with Taurus is more a "love em or leave em" mentality. They will not be pushed, coaxed or tricked into anything if they don't want to be there. If he wants a relationship with you, you shall have one. If he doesn't, then why would you want one anyway?
I totally dig their attitude, and adhere to it vehemently, myself.

And I don't mean to be harsh when I say "manipulative" but that is how you are coming across.
If it's advice you seek, mine would be...stay in contact with him, but be yourself and don't worry what his reaction to that will be. If it happens, great. If it doesn't happen right away, be patient. If during that time you find yourself being upset waiting for him to give you the signs and signals that you want/need, then he is going to make you nuts in the long run anyway, so don't prolong your misery and look elsewhere for someone that is more suited to you. Just be yourself first, forget the bag of tricks, then be patient.

A fluffy Taurus! What a concept!
As to fixing a relationship: I tried for 15 years, that's some dedication for you. It still didn't work, I just ended up subjugating my own needs and making myself miserable. I think if you could find the answer to that question, you would be a billionaire.
Hopefully now, I may have found bliss with someone who wants me, but doesn't "need" me. These are also two completely distinct concepts in my pointy lil head. I cannot stand being "needed", but being "wanted" is wonderful. It's early days yet.
🙂

Sorry sagi, I usually skip over the excessively long posts unless they are directed at me (lazy little butter that I am). But I took the day off work and I am restless, so I read it finally. 😛
Too funny about the "test"! On my first date with the Taurus guy, he didn't even change out of his work clothes! He kind of shuffled and apologized for his appearance, but to be honest, I didn't notice anything amiss. I mean, it was our first date, I was just too excited anyway, he could have been covered in butter for all I cared, and he still would have looked gorgeous.

BTW I don't even bother typing butter anymore, I actually type the word "butter" instead. LOL

Oh don't apologize, I should, it's me who is lazy. They make for a good read actually!
So any other "tests" I should know about? Thinking back on some past conversations with the guy, I think that I have been tested a few times. My answers tend to be pretty automatic, I never think at the time "this is a test", I just blurt whatever I'm thinking so I'm hoping I passed.
For instance (and this requires a little background)....He lives in another city and I am going there in a month. He said "I haven't booked my holidays yet". So I say "Are you thinking you can take a couple extra days when I'm there?" "Maybe I'll work, you can do stuff during the day" I said "Ah, so you can get wages plus vacation pay, that's always good."
Did I pass? LoL

HAHAHAHAHA omg you have no idea how funny the car door thing is!
I went out with this one guy who did that, I automatically unlocked his door, and he said.
"Congratulations, you passed the Bitch Test"
HAHAHAH how funny is that? Only difference is he DID take note and told me that if they don't unlock his door, they are toast.
Furthermore: I always like to pay my own way and I do get uncomfortable being treated, but he is very traditional about paying for everything, He has seen me kick up a bit of a fuss on that score, so he knows I am not after his wallet, by any means. I am always telling him to put it away.
He couldn't be more textbook Taurus when it comes to money. He loves it, he hoards it, but he likes to be generous with it. Just like my dad that way.

The door opening thing... I like it, and I don't take it as meaning I am too helpless to open a door myself. I appreciate that kind of thing a lot.
And dressing up to make an impression is not something I do at all. I will only dress differently for occassions such as weddings and funerals, as a sign of respect.
I don't even dress up when I go out to clubs, which is a fairly rare occurrence anyway.
I always feel extremely silly and frivolous when I am dressed up, even in a suit. It's just not who I am, and I can't wait to get back into cargoes and a tee. And despite looking like a boy, I still get doors opened for me 😛

I agree with most of sagitauries posts, I feel the same way on just about everything. And I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only one who feels that my b/f is MY POSSESSION. I don't think that even stems out of love! I do have feelings for him I mean that we do it even with people who we don't have feelings for just because they're with us.
I can't help doing it, I really try to keep it hidden but I always have to know some way or another what he's doing and once I know I'm content and I can go back to whatever I was doing- it doesn't mean I want to see him or talk to him I'm just making sure that what's mine is where it should.
I don't care what the f*** he says, I do as I please and he's mine because I say so period. I think I'm angry that's why I'm saying this which I mean anyway.
Oh I'm pissed off! yesterday I called this stu-pid idiot a bunch of times and he didn't answer so he calls me back and he's doing what he's doing but how about an 'i'll call you later' aaaaaghhhhh! he acts like nothing, idiot! no I don't think so! I need to chill that's why I didn't answer anymore of his calls and today my cell is off and maybe even tomorrow and who knows if I ever answer another call from him again- depends how I feel without him- maybe I'll just disappear like I've done in the past. Nope we sure aren't perfect.

i was just speaking with the taurus im trying to snag, because i found a text message from another girl on his cell phone, and i said something about it jokingly. something like, "oh, so i see ive got some competition." and basically all he said was, "oh, shes an ex girlfriend. i dont want to talk about what happened with her. i dont tell anyone." considering the fact that taurus holds onto ties forever, should i be concerned about this? not even just because hes a taurus... men out there, please let me know if a guy says that he cant talk about an ex, does that mean hes still attached to her?

we were talking about what he would do if he won the lottery and he said that he would marry this girl, because she is the only person he would trust not to marry him for his money, because she loved him without it.

my heart dropped into my stomach. does this mean that he still loves her? or is this just another facet of his money hoarding taurus personality? im not sure if this is a sign that im wasting my time trying to establish something with him. i almost feel as though all my efforts are just pushing him farther away for some reason. or maybe hes just becoming more comfortable.

i really need some help. 😢

Woah, If someone said that to me, I would say...."why wait to win the lottery? marry her now, then"
and get up and leave, and not look back. But that's just me.

yeah, yattatattahey...i think you may be right. how could anyone really be dense enough to say something like that?

Yep, and I wouldn't get angry over it, it's not worth it. He just has his head up his ass at the moment, not his fault, not your fault either.
Besides think of the damper that will put on all gift giving occassions, b-days, valentine's etc......Not to mention how it will spoil a nice evening out from now on, because you will have those words ringing in your ears anytime someone has to pick up a cheque or tab.
AND...what an incredibly insulting attitude that he has towards all women in general to even think that way. Dump him.

god, how disappointing. i was really excited about this one. i thought for once i might have actually found a decent guy. 😢

I'm hoping that was just a muscle spasm, sagi 😉

So sagi, if your girlfriend said she would marry her ex because he was the only one that she could trust to love her with or without the money, what would you do? Say "aaaaw sweetie, I know you love me, you must just be scared"

I highly doubt it!

So sagi, if your girlfriend said she would marry her ex because he was the only one that she could trust to love her with or without the money, what would you do? Say "aaaaw sweetie, I know you love me, you must just be scared"

I highly doubt it!

I have heard and witnessed this tendency towards persistence in Taurus, but it sounds to me like he still has "unfinished business" with the ex. I don't know, I would take his comment as a serious slap in the face that deserves one right back! I know trust is a big issue, and he pretty much told gem "I don't trust you as much as her". OUCH!
At the very least, you two have to have a BIG talk about that, if you do decide to carry on.
Haha, look at me stamping my little feet!

its such a strange situation. ive decided to take a small break from him... a week or two until i go to visit him next weekend. i felt serious distance on his end and decided that it would be best to let him have his space for a little while. (i know you guys said taurus likes space... haha). when i go out there next weekend, im going to call him to see if he would like to spend some time with me. im hoping that his response will be telling. i just dont know whether to be more aloof or to make myself available to let him know that im still interested. and sagitauries... i DO feel like im escaping my general personality "constraints" as you put it. theres just something very calming about him. ....it is a little hard though when he wont have deep conversations with me. someone who thinks is very important, and im almost starting to feel like theres nothing up there. :-/

----update----

wow. what a weeeeeird situation im in.

so, i went to colorado and made plans to see my taurus. ...as i said i would. i get there and he completely blows me off. doesnt return my calls, doesnt call me, and when i asked him to go out for dinner, he told me he would call and never did.

thats it. im done. im not cut out for this kind of stuff....

i like to be chased... not to be the chaser. :o) a little too much exercise for me. hehe

Eek, you would think a Bull would at least have the balls to tell you to your face that he didn't think the trip was a good idea. Sorry to hear that happened, gem.

This message is for Sagi I understand everthing your telling gem lady. But i must comment:

and the thing about taurus is that it will highly respect the trait of finishing what was started in a partner.., we're a highly goal oriented sign maybe a bit misplaced at times) but we really like to be able to see the finish, and we respect desire in a partner. i know i would be flattered if a gem was eyeing me for some time and went outside of her "personality constraints" to get me

My situation is a little different from hers I have been seeing my Taurus for about 10mths and for the third time in our little (relationship) he has wnet back to his ex. It doesn't seem to me like he is trying to finish anything he started with me it's always on and off with us but he always seem to keep me close until he is back with her then it's a different story SO SAgi how do you know when you have earned a place in a Tauruses heart?